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This is a page for wild mass guesses from the series Umineko no Naku Koro ni which have been Jossed by the series or Word Of God. If a WMG on one of the open pages is Jossed, please move it here.Please add new Jossed entries to the bottom of the page.The murderer of the children in the first arc is Battler.
At the end, he is the only one with a weapon, aimed at the only confirmed victim of the four (Remember Maria's jawbone?), and is never confirmed to be dead. In addition, his repetition of the idea that he's going to live over and over again near the end echoes Keiichi in Onikakushi-hen (Not that I can blame him for that sentiment, but...). He was driven nuts by the past murders and hallucinated Beatrice's appearance, at which point he shot Maria and perhaps Jessica and George (They might have helped him in the murder, if you want to alter it a little bit). After that, he pulled a Natsumi, chopped up all of the previous corpses, and scattered them all over the mansion. He then camped out in Kinzo's study, which was previously established as the only safe place in his mind, and everything that takes place in "Purgatorio" is actually just him hallucinating and inflicting mental punishment upon himself.
Ange's bodyguard is actually Battler's Evil Twin
Juuza looks suspicious just on appearance. He's a White-Haired Pretty Boy who has one of his eyes covered, has a name made of numbers which worked oh so well for the Big Bad in Higurashi, and wears Creepy Cool Crosses, so first of all, he's setting off all of my scanners for "secretly evil." Okay, now to the theory: both Asumu and Kyrie were supposed to have had children around the same time, but Kyrie's was supposedly a stillbirth. Since the fourth arc, a lot of people have been working under the assumption that Battler was actually Kyrie's child, and perhaps Asumu was the one with the stillbirth. But what if Kyrie actually had a second child too, and for some reason gave him up as well? He shares a resemblance to her, what with the white hair. In addition, he looks to be about the same age Battler would be had he lived until 1998. Or perhaps he was actually Asumu's child (we've never seen what she looks like) and was raised in secret because of some sort of disability we don't know about yet? And she got Battler, who was still Kyrie's son, in his place. That might explain the "two Battlers" conundrum.
Ange's bodyguard is actually Battler
And a homage to a certain other popular visual novel franchise. Points in favour: We never saw Battler's body after the events of Banquet of the Golden Witch, both affect a 'crosses for no reason' aesthetic, both are very protective of Ange, and... it would be funny.
Beatrice is the mother of at least one of the Ushiromiya siblings, and possibly all of them.
I honestly did have several good arguments for this, but I came up with them at 3 in the morning and the only one I can remember is that it would explain their oddly Caucasian appearance. (Not that this is something that's usually explained at all in anime.)
Beatrice is Jessica's mother
Specfically, the Beatrice of Kuwadorian. Krauss and Natsuhi suffered a lot of political grief for being unable to conceive a heir. Suddenly, after 10 years, Natsuhi 'magically' produces a baby. Gosh. If only there were another woman of childbearing age on the island around that time period...
Rena is another one of the servants at the Ushiromiya mansion.
It's stated that there are two other servants who work at the mansion but don't have their shifts on the days when the Ushiromiya family gathers there - Manon and, here's the kicker, Renon. This kakera's version of Rena's parent issues went even worse, and for some reason, she was left at the Fukuin house. Eventually, she was allowed to serve at the Ushiromiya Mansion, and in adopting the "on" character, changed her name to "Renon." Note: This only works if she is just called "Rena" in this world and didn't have to switch from "Reina." Still has some minor problems with the difference between "Rena" (Higurashi name in katakana) and Ren'a (name the way it would have to be written with the "ren" character), unless there's an alternate reading that fits better.
The story is more closely connected to Higurashi than anyone realizes.
Umineko's alternate title is "When They Cry 3". Of course, Higurashi was When They Cry 1 and Higurashi Kai was When They Cry 2. So why assume that Bern and Lambda's appearances/"real-world" identities are the only link between them when the title itself implies Umineko is a sequel? Episode 4 has revealed another Higurashi character as connected (albeit loosely) with the Ushiromiyas.
Perhaps Rokkenjima is a test site for a weaponized form of Hinamizawa Syndrome. Or perhaps it's the other way around, and witch's magic was directly responsible for the Hinamizawa incidents. Either way, something tells me we haven't heard the last of Keiichi and co. (Also, I'm led to believe that in the original visual novels, Satoshi's whereabouts were still unknown by the end, although they changed this in the anime. Perhaps he is somehow involved in the Rokkenjima incident?)
Answer arc titles
The shipwrecked person in the screnshots of Episode 5 is Natsuhi
She has apparently no contact with her original family and is totally loyal to the Ushiromiyas. Maybe they saved her life?
Battler betrayed Asumu
Here's what we know: Battler committed some sort of sin six years ago that did not involve Beatrice. The big thing that we know happened six years ago was Asumu's death, and Battler leaving to live with his maternal grandparents. It's pretty likely that the sin had something to do with that incident. At the same time, we know that Asumu is not Battler's biological mother. Battler apparently did not know that until the fourth arc. Apparently.
Now, let me postulate this - what if he actually found out earlier? Like, say, six years ago? What if he found out that, as the theory goes, Kyrie is his actual mother? Somehow (Maybe through the scheming that Kyrie claims Asumu did), Battler was used as a pawn for Asumu to get to Rudolf? How? Maybe through blackmail to Kyrie? "Give me your son or I let Rudolf know that you ________." She would have to be quite the schemer to outsmart Kyrie, but let's assume for a moment that she did.
And let's say that Battler's relationship with her isn't all it's cracked up to be (I know that the whole leaving thing would imply otherwise, but I'll get to that). Maybe at that time, he did something he would later come to regret, such as giving someone some information that Asumu didn't want known, or even (it actually works better this way) killing Asumu himself. Then, it hits him what he's done. "Oh my god, I just killed my mother." Because even if they didn't have a good relationship, that sort of thing is still pretty traumatic.
Then, what's the next thing he thinks? "I can't let anyone know. I've got to get out of here." And so he uses Rudolf remarrying to Kyrie so quickly as an excuse and gets out the first chance he has to go live with his grandparents. Or maybe Rudolf finds out and stages the entire fight over his remarriage in order to get Battler out of there. Maybe he stages it like that himself because Battler is so traumatized over what happened that he's practically in a Convenient Coma. When he finally does get himself together, he has Trauma Induced Amnesia and is raised with a new story of what happened that day. Which explains why he finds all of this so shocking and why he wipes himself out when he finds out.
Eh, this one might need something like Hinamizawa Syndrome in order to work, but it's a heck of a conspiracy theory!
Kanon's real name is Kagu.
He keeps on saying "boku wa kagu des", meaning "I am just furniture" or I am Kagu. Others think that he has a furniture complex, but he's actually correcting them when they call his name.
Beatrice is the seagulls
And just like in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, Meta-Battler will wake up after a crazy dream, hear the cries of the seagulls... Only to dismiss it as nothing.
We can't trust the red or gold.
I'm surprised nobody's brought this up yet. Consider this: I can grab a piece of paper and say "Anything written on this paper is true." then write "I am a Chinese rebel." When somebody points out that I'm lying, I can write "Anything written on this paper is true." But that doesn't make it so. This came to me when Battler accused Beatrice of lying in the red and she used the red to state "Everything stated in red is true." Now some people might maintain that Ronove and others use and insist on the legitimacy of the red. Well getting back to the paper scenario, I could quite easily get a bunch of my friends to act out what I write on the paper and insist that it works. So with everyone convinced the thing works and Beatrice (possibly the only one who knows it's all bull) gone, nobody wants to risk lying with it because they're afraid of vanishing in a poof of logic. It's like selling your soul to the devil just to see if you'll go to hell, even if the writers of the Bible lied... do you really want to take the chance?
Genji is Kinzo's Beatrice
As we all know and love, Ronove is Ambiguously Gay, to the point where he bleeds freaking rose pedals
Word Of God has stated repeatedly that looking at the game through just the mystery angle will not allow you to solve it, suggesting that even the scenes completely laden with fantasy have some important hint, be it evidence or characterization. One of the strongest elements of Ronove's characterization is the absurd amount of Ho Yay and loyalty he has for Battler, who is much like a younger, less crazy-as-a-fox Kinzo.
In EP4, it's said that Genji is a sort of vessel for Ronove in the real world.
This means that Genji and Ronove should share some of their major traits.
If Ronove is a mirror of Genji, then Genji should be gay and attracted to someone similar to Battler, such as Kinzo.
This train of logic suggests that the reason that Genji is so loyal to the Ushiromiya family is that he's madly in love with Kinzo.
If we take this a step further (And sprinkle crack lightly) we can note that Kinzo is a big freaking Misogynist that thinks the only use women have at all is making babies and serving men. He couldn't truly love a woman even if he wanted to. He doesn't respect them. Without love, there is no magic.
But Genji appeared in his life. Genji served him quietly, respectfully, and was a man who was proud to serve. Kinzo saw not just a servant, but a servant and a friend. Someone who would be there for him. Someone who wouldn't tell anyone if they did anything questionable. Someone who loved him in the same sinful way. Someone who would wear a Beatrice dress and wig while taking it from behind.
Genji is Kinzo's Beatrice.
Beatrice is related to the Ushiromiya family, and is the daughter of Chiyo and Kinzo
When Kinzo made a deal with Beatrice the witch, Beato wasn't in existence at the time. Virgilia appeared before Kinzo disguised with the appearance of Beato. The reason? Virgilia was really Chiyo and at the time was in love with Kinzo. Since Chiyo looked a lot like Virgilia when she was younger, she did not want it revealed to Kinzo that she was really a witch. Therefore, she used the appearance of her future daughter in her witch appearance to hide it.
Kinzo was very interested in the legends of witches, and Chiyo, secretly being one herself, shared this same interest with him. However, Virgilia's human appearance was that of a servant, the Ushiromiya family looked down upon such relationships. Their relationship was covered well, however, one day Chiyo ended up being pregnant. Kinzo then arranged another hidden mansion to be built with his wealth. When the Ushiromiya family came for visits, Chiyo remained in the mansion, under the guise that Kinzo let his servant take a vacation somewhere off the island for a year.
Chiyo then had a baby girl. The both of them decided to name her "Beatrice" after the Golden Witch that gave Kinzo his wealth. Later on, it is somehow revealed that Kinzo had such an affair with a servant. The other children of Kinzo reject Beatrice to be a part of the Ushiromiya family, and thus she is confinded to the other mansion on the island (at least during family meetings) where Chiyo had stayed when she was pregnant.
Beatrice was very sad and lonely. All she wanted in life was to have a family, go to a school like the other children did, and make friends. Taking after her parents, she became very interested in magic. She began believing that it really existed, and thus Virgilia (the current Beatrice at the time) appeared before her. Then Beatrice became Beatrice the Golden Witch. However, the human Beatrice and the witch Beatrice were different in appearance, which is why Kinzo does not recognize Beatrice in the portrait to be the same person.
With her new powers, she summoned up furniture that would play with her and she was happy for awhile. However, when she became a teen, her joy slowly faded. She realized that furniture would do anything she wanted to do, but they weren't anything like a real friend. If anything, it was like "imaginary" friends that only existed in your world and no one else's. She then lost interest in magic until she became an adult.
During her time as a young adult, she was still confined to the second mansion during visits. The adults told the younger members (which at this time was Eva, Rosa, Kruass, Rudolf) when they were little that a "witch" lived in the forest so they would not venture off and discover their other sibling. However, on one visit, Rosa had discovered the mansion as a teen.
She then met Beatrice, and it was unknown to Rosa but known to Beatrice that they were siblings. Rosa without malicious intent, had accidentally killed Beatrice (which was her falling off the cliff). Rosa was then mentally scarred from that day on. She tried to "forget" the accident, and replaced the image of the human Beatrice she killed with the witch's appearance, thus making it to where she recalls the incident, Beatrice is seen as the "witch in the forest".
Rosa's trauma has led her to become neglectful and abusive to Maria. I theorize that she lost her previous job, she had to resort to becoming a prostitute. She would then face more abuse by her "pimp" and clients. She hid it under the guise that she was on "business trips" when she was gone for days because she didn't want Maria to know how exactly she made money.
But isn't the Ushiromiya family wealthy? If you recall, Kinzo had stated that all this children failed him because he wanted them to make their own wealth, not leech off of his wealth. Therefore, it is believed that Kinzo was very stingy to sharing his money with his family.
Rosa truly wanted the best for Maria. However, after losing her previous job, which is assumedly an office job of some sorts, the "bad witch that took over mommy" started to appear. Maria, being neglected her mom's love and attention and due to bullying at school had left her to become very childish. Maria would throw tantrums and have several imaginary friends, namely Sakutaro. The very child-like, almost "sheltered" Maria distinctly reminded Rosa of Beatrice, which reminded her of the manslaughter she commited. This is why when Maria resorts to child-like tatics (having Sakutaro "speak" for her, Going "uuu!" all the time), Rosa flips out and starts hitting her to try to make her stop.
All this time as her human appearance, Chiyo was infuriated with the Ushiromiya family on the fact that they didn't even acknowledge her daughter. After all, it was not Beatrice's fault she was born, and she shouldn't have been treated like how she was. Chiyo, switching to her witch form, Virgilia, appeared before Beatrice. She promised to revive Beatrice, however she must remain a witch. It is unknown to Beatrice that Virgilia is technically her mother, but she agrees to follow the condition, based on the fact that in her human appearance, she was rejected, but in her witch appearance, she can take revenge upon the family that rejected her, and she would be both feared and respected by them. Virgilia chooses to make her agree to this condition because she knows that if Beatrice remains as a human, she would return to the gullible, stupid Beatrice, who would continue to be rejected by her family.
When it comes close to Kinzo's death, Beatrice must be the one to carry out the witch's epitaph since she is the new Golden Witch. This is the main reason why Beatrice has become so cold towards the family and kills them in the harshest ways she can think of, excluding Maria. To Beatrice, Maria reminds her of her when she was younger, so surprisingly feels sorry for Maria.
Maria, like her, was rejected the love of a parent (Rosa for Maria, and Kinzo for Beatrice). The both of them were loners and relied on furniture to keep them company. Maria also tends to show high respect for Beatrice, despite Beatrice violently killing her family members. When it comes to the epitaph, it would appear Maria is usually one of the last ones to die, and when she dies, Beatrice tries to make it painless (such as strangling her).
This is why Beatrice takes Maria under her wing like a mother figure. Beatrice didn't have any other friends other than furniture when she was little, so she hopes Maria will be happy with an actual human for a friend. However, Beatrice had to lie to Maria about Sakutaro. The reason she lied is because if she revived Sakutaro, she knew Maria would become attached to furniture, and then learn that furniture was nothing more that figments of imagination in the future. Beatrice then made up the story that Sakutaro could not be revived because Rosa rejected him. Thus, this is why Ange was easily able to do it and Beatrice's lie was seen as if Beatrice was a really weak witch.
Like Maria as well, Beatrice hates Rosa. She believes that Rosa was always hateful, and that Rosa purposely killed her when she was a human, simply because she thought Rosa knew they were related and that Rosa hated her like Kinzo.
Beatrice thus became nothing more than a killing machine, finding creative ways to use her magic to take revenge on this family. Even though many situations revealed it was obvious that magic caused the murders, Battler refused to believe it, making her interested in him. Perhaps the reason she insisted on this game was to get in touch with the relative she never knew.
This is the reason why I believe she truly felt sorry when Battler got angry and left the game. She really wanted to play a game with her relative, even if the game included her twisted humor. It is then in my belief at the signing, the Beatrice there was not the true Beatrice, but Virgilia in disguise, or perhaps furniture disguised as Beatrice. Virgilia, unlike Beatrice, does not want to show ANY mercy for the Ushiromiya, because the simple fact that she got involved as Chiyo was what caused so much pain to her daughter. Virgilia didn't want to go behind her daughter's back, but in order to get revenge on the family, she had to use whatever means as possible to get Battler to accept that Beatrice is a witch.
Kinzo died far earlier then we've been led to believe.
The only time Kinzo has been confirmed to be alive in red was in 1967. I propose he died shortly after Rosa's Beatrice died. The reason no one would mistake someone else for Kinzo is because they already know he's dead, or they've never actually met him. All of the adults and servents (besides Gohda) have been covering his death for Reason X. The subplots that rely on some of the adults believing Kinzo is alive are completly made up by Beato and Lambda in order to troll Battler.
Kinzo's mistress, Beatrice I...
...was secretly a practitioner of the occult, herself. She sold her soul to Beatrice the Golden, and then claimed to be her human form because:
Bernkastel's equivalent of Beatrice's Stakes of Purgatory are the Higurashi Nakama
Because something tells me we haven't seen the last of them. Also, with Hanyuu, who is implied to be a Creator, they could bring them from any given world. Their uniform would be Angel Mort's waitress outfit.
...yes, even Keiichi.
Battler's overlooking something completely obvious in the examination of the cases
The witches have not defined in red what constitutes a "person". This creates a loophole in which "furniture" can be left out of the statement "There are no more than 17 people on Rokkenjima." and thus making a huge gap in which 18th Person X can appear.
The deaths are caused by 'Rokkenjima syndrome'
A mysterious disease that causes people to hallucinate they are being attacked by witches. And then explode.
Kumasawa is the original Beatrice
The Beatrice Kinzo loved but couldn't marry. Mother to Rosa's Beatrice. Much, much smarter than she lets on.
Sometimes I think it was my twin that drowned; sometimes I think it was me
Rosa met a living Beatrice when she was a child. One died. One lived. Rosa's body broke on the rocks. Beatrice escaped out into the endless world. They were most likely half-sisters; it's not inconceivable that one estranged sibling could pass for another. Maria, if only you knew how near Beatrice is to you even now...Now I'm just becoming paranoid. Unless that's what they want me to think?
Rosa's little turns...
...aren't her fault. She just couldn't say no to that all expenses paid bed-and-breakfast holiday in the picturesque town of Hinamizawa. So sorry...
The next chapter is going to be 'Turn of the Battler'
Where Battler uses his meta-capacity to reconstruct the murders in an uber-clinical CSI: Crime Scene Investigation fashion, and Beatrice has her turn to express moral outrage. "How could you be heartless? Your own mother...how could you suspect your own mother like that, Battler? You're a monster! A monster!"
Beatrice (as in the Beatrice who supposedly gave Kinzo the gold) never existed
It's a popular Epileptic Tree of the Divine Comedy that Dante's Beatrice never existed: a female muse and a fashionably tragic love life were almost required for a poet at the time, and so Dante Alighieri invented Beatrice from whole cloth to give himself something to emote about. Is Kinzo enough of a moody Europhile git to try the same thing? Maybe! There's something very ironic about killing in the name of a woman that never lived.
Jessica is Beatrice
I have been kicking around the theory that Beatrice is in fact a hidden personality of Jessica, born from her own frustration at her position, Kinzo's madness, and perhaps Battler's percieved abandonment of her. I'm going to try and put my complete theory down in this thread, as I've only posted bits and pieces of it in various threads.
First of all. This theory assumes the information from Episode 3 concerning Beatrice is correct. Kinzo met her years before, and after borrowing the gold, fell in love with her. Kinzo, undeterred when she rejected him, simply took her by force, building a hidden mansion on the island he bought and imprisoning her there. Unable to escape, she eventually commited suicide.
However, she had a child, or Kinzo found an infant that bore a high enough resemblance, and this child was kept on in the hidden mansion for her entire life, looked after by Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo checking up on occasion. Years later, Rosa stumbles across the hidden mansion, and meets Beatrice II who has been desiring to leave and see the outside world. She leads that Beatrice out, only for her to fall from a cliff and die on the rocks below.
Again, she may have been pregnant, or another child was acquired. The timing here is important. Battler and Jessica were both born in 1967 roughly, since they are both 18 in 1985. In '67 Krauss and Natsuhi had been trying to conceive unsuccessfully for more than a decade. Since Kuwadorian wasn't used after Beatrice II died accidentally, Kinzo must have wanted to keep the newly born Beatrice someplace she could be kept under observation and not so isolated. So, he gave the child to Krauss and Natsuhi, sternly ordering them to look after her as their own. He may have even told them not to worry about proper succession, as she carried his blood. This might be why Krauss and Natsuhi are somewhat distant from their daughter.
Battler is born at roughly the same time, Rudolf's son, though not to Asumu. Asumu probably miscarried instead of Kyrie, and the Ushiromiyas forced Kyrie to turn over her child to Rudolph and Asumu. As the miscarried child was also going to be named Battler, that name got passed on to Kyrie's firstborn (this is also why Battler and Ange look so alike). It has also been theorized that Jessica is actually Rudolf and Asumu's daughter, and was given over to Krauss for reasons unknown. Then Battler was taken from Kyrie, and she may have been led to believe her child died.
As time passes, Kinzo's mind slips further into madness. Jessica is raised normally, though as she gets older Kinzo begins paying more and more attention to her, convinced she is yet another Beatrice. When Jessica and Battler are about 12, Battler says something to Jessica that leaves a deep impression on her, even if he thought little of it. He might have bragged that he'd come charging to the rescue if she were ever in trouble, or he'd help her escape from her oppressive family, something along those lines.
Shortly after, Asumu dies. Rudolf remarries quickly, to Kyrie, who is pregnant with Ange. Battler can't accept this turn of events, and leaves the family to live with Asumu's parents.
Kinzo's madness worsens. Jessica feels like Battler abandoned her. Kinzo starts visiting Jessica more often, telling her about the previous Beatrices, and revealing many of his secrets to her. At some point, Kinzo makes a move on Jessica. Given Kinzo's personality, he's not likely to ask. Also recall what Beatrice said about Kinzo's interests... This may have happened more than once. At some point, Jessica's mind, unable to accept what was happening to her and despairing over Battler, who never came back, broke down and a new persona was formed, taking the name of Beatrice.
Sometime before the family conference in 1985, Kinzo dies. Jessica may have killed him, perhaps trying to resist him. Krauss might have done it as well if he found out what was going on with all of Jessica's visits to his room (remember, like Rudolf told Kyrie once, even though he brags and blusters, Krauss can become the most reliable of the siblings when the chips are down. If he found out Kinzo was raping his daughter, I don't think Kinzo would be around much longer.). Either way, it was necessary to conceal Kinzo's death, in order to protect his family and also prevent the distribution of the inheritance. In all likelihood, all of the negative memories and emotions Jessica had experienced got shoved onto Beatrice and locked away.
A few more years pass. Beatrice spends most of the time dormant, though she does come forward to speak to Shannon, sadistically urging her forward deeper into a relationship with George, which she thinks is bound to fail. She even tells Kanon as much when he catches her before she regresses after one of her meetings with Shannon. Which makes the relationship Jessica wants to make with him rather...awkward, since he's afraid this is another cruel joke of Beato's. George and Shannon's relationship seems to be poised to succeed despite all odds, much to Jessica and Beato's envy.
Then word comes to Rokkenjima: Battler is coming back into the family. Beatrice awakens, and begins forming a plan to take revenge on Battler for forgetting his promise to her.
Jessica is in the perfect position to set the ball rolling. From her father, she knows that all the siblings are in a precarious position financially. The tensions regarding the succession of the headship are getting high, especially with the rumor being spread among the siblings that whoever solves Kinzo's riddle will become the next head. Confirming this is enough to get people all hot and bothered.
Now throw in some wild cards. Through Kinzo, Jessica knows where the gold is. She knows the servants, probably better than her parents. She knows where Kinzo keeps Beatrice's old clothes. She knows about the emergency funds Kinzo set up, and where he kept all the keys. She can get out from her parents supervision for days at a time under the pretense of bad weather. She knows the ins and outs of both mansions. And don't forget, she knows Maria will believe just about anything if you say you are a witch.
From here, events depend upon the exact conditions of the game. She might carry out some of the killings herself, or it might not even be neccessary. She could be the person putting the magic circles and whatnot around the house, since she and Nanjo are the likeliest to know how to make proper symbols (and she knows Maria can read them).
In the case of Episode 2, after she or her accomplice killed all the parents but Rosa, Kanon may have confronted her while she was alone with him. He stabbed her, she retaliated, and wound up killing him. She moved the body out of her room and hid it someplace, then locked herself back into her room, and later died.
Though, could she have been faking? I remember Beato saying Kanon was dead with the red, but was Jessica's death confirmed in the way? I don't recall as much, but if she knew where Kanon's body was, she could have dressed in his bloody clothes and a wig to fool the servants, however briefly, while she waited for a chance to attack them.
Not much red was used in Ep4, and none regarding Jessica really. She could have worn Beatrice's clothes and greeted Battler from the balcony. Despite Battler's certainty that it was 'Beatrice', his outlook was warped after the converation with Kyrie. Plus, I don't know if it was a translation error or not: she was described as coming out of the second floor balcony. But Kinzo's room is on the THIRD floor, right? Jessica's is on the second floor if I recall correctly though...Either way, Battler was looking up at her from 10-20 feet or so, in the dark, while it was raining hard. I'm not going to begrudge him for fooling himself into believing it.
So anyway, that is my theory. There are holes in it, and plenty of things are still not explained. I'm not even touching who the 'Kinzo' that appeared in Ep4 was. But it covers alot pretty well I think.
Meta-Battler isn't Battler.
In fact, Battler isn't Battler either.
A short time before the start of the story, Rudolf contacts his illegitimate son by Kyrie (call him Our Battler) to impersonate his vanished half-brother (call him Other Battler* ) at the family meeting. Male heirs are a big deal in Kinzo's eyes: it could be the deciding factor in the inheritance fight. In return, Rudolf will legally recognise him as 'Ushiromiya Battler'. It takes a few months of coaching, but while several express incredulity at Battler's changes, nobody calls their bluff.
Then the murders happen. The purpose of the murders is to drive Battler to confessing his sin of six years ago. The real Battler would have leapt up and cried: 'Yes! I confess, I did it!' Our Battler just sits there in a passive lump thinking 'Why am I here? These people are insane!'
But... Meta-Battler doesn't know any of this. The metaworld characters are impressions of realworld people or objects. He isn't 'really' Battler - he's somebody's impression of Battler! Complete with an inferred history which would have proved impervious to anything but the red text. (Take it a bit further and it can also explain why Meta-Battler is a supercool action lawyer, and Our Battler is almost comatose).
It's no coincidence Meta-Battler vanishes in a puff of logic in the same scene that Beatrice realises Our Battler is unable to remember his sin. As Sakutaro demonstrated, a metacharacter 'dies' when their creator can't sustain belief in them anymore.
The mastermind isn't even on the island at all
Why bother coming up with a brilliant plan to eliminate the entire Ushiromiya clan at one shot and get all their money, and then ruin it by getting caught up in the bloodbath? Nahhh. Whoever the mastermind is, he or she is enjoying a nice drink and waiting for the whole mess to be over.
Kinzo's running a secret cloning facility on Rokkenjima
He certainly has the money and the insane tenacity to do it, and it would explain the whole myth of 'furniture' if they really were artifical humans. Beatrice and Jessica could be sisters, one an imperfect copy given to Krauss and Natsuhi, and one raised to be Kinzo's perfect woman.
Battler never returned to Rokkenjima
Hold onto your hats, because things are going to get cracky.
Battler and Maria are practically joined at the hip. Try and count the number of scenes with Battler where Maria isn't already present 'playing by herself', or doesn't appear partway through. Note how in the only arc where Maria doesn't live to the end of the ritual, Battler retreats to his room in the guesthouse and the plot focus shifts to the adults and Meta-Battler. Note how many dynamic and plot-relevant interactions his cousins have with one another, and how quickly his role collapses into passive observation.
Battler Ushiromiya? More like Bat-Tyler Durden! Battler's objective testimony is actually Maria's testimony! Battler is a figment of her imagination, a big-brother image she invented to protect her after the witch image turned sinister.
George and Shannon aren't lovers
It may sound strange to question this premise, but consider that all of their romantic narration is marked by a lack of credibility, given that it happens outside Battler's narration and is rendered specious by the presence of magic and witches. Furthermore, ask yourselves the following question; why have George and Shannon never been the victims of the second twilight, in spite of being the most obvious pair of victims for it? Keep in mind that whether you're anti-fantasy or anti-mystery, the killer is attempting to follow the epitaph to make the murders (appear) occult and the fact that the most obvious choice has been overlooked 4 times in a row seems strange.
Maria doesn't have a father - she Has Two Mommies, Rosa and Beatrice
Rosa didn't want to marry and give up the family name, but she wanted a child. Either with or without her knowledge Beatrice heard this and gave her a child ala Star Wars and Anakin, and Rosa was too freaked out by the sudden pregnancy to try to get help from anyone. She thought this was a blessing until Maria started acting strangely, so Maria is simultaneously a blessing and a curse to Rosa. It also gives Beatrice a shoe-in in the family to have Maria there.
Prior to his sin, Battler was Beatrice's apprentice.
In other words, he was just like Maria once: not only did he faithfully believe in magic, he wanted to be a witch (or warlock, or madan), so he became Beatrice's apprentice. He trusted her completely, certain that he had nothing to fear - Beatrice would make everything better. Or help him make things better. Even as he grew older and was supposed to 'outgrow such silly superstitions', he still believed in Beatrice.
Then something horrible happened. Maybe Asumu grew ill and passed away, even though Battler pleaded with Beatrice to save her. Maybe his relationship with Asumu wasn't that great and he cursed her before her death. (This could've been accidental: maybe he heard his parents fighting and cursed the 'other woman', the one who wasn't his mother... and whoops!) Whatever the case, he took out his anger on Beatrice, blaming her for everything and declaring her an evil, heartless witch.
He may even have been the one who originally taught Maria that Beatrice was a good witch before having his falling out with Beato six years ago. He could even have gone on a rant in front of his impressionable cousin afterwards, disavowing Beatrice as evil and horrible and scarring poor little Maria's mind, skewing her pure-hearted belief in the Golden Witch towards a more old-school fairies mindset.
Kinzo is Battler.
He was supposedly about Battler's age when he first met Beatrice, and "miraculously" brought the Ushiromiya Family Back from the Brink. What easier way to create a miracle than knowing everything in advance?!
The Gold represents Love (The Story will end when the entire Family can get along)
Higurashi is generally considered to be about atonement and, by extension, forgiveness. That loop ended when everyone was forgiven.
Umineko follows a similar pattern, but clearly has a different theme. That theme is likely love, therefore when the family starts loving each other, instead of bickering, the family will receive their good end. Thoughts?
The typhoon causes a landslide at the end of every game
This appears to happen in every game, and explains several mysteries:
In Episode 1, this is what kills the cousins in the end, and does so in a way that makes finding bodies extremely difficult.
In Episode 2, this is what Rosa and Maria are running from in the final scene. If you watch the entire banquet scene with this in mind (and assuming the Unreliable Narrator bases scenes on reality), it makes a lot of sense.
In Episode 3, Eva survives the landslide by being in the hidden mansion at the time (although this is only confirmed in Episode 4).
In Episode 4, this explains quite a few things, and is indeed strongly hinted at. The reason the police could find no evidence, and closed the case as an accident? Well, if the mansion and the surrounding areas were flattened by a huge landslide they would be unlikely to find any bodies, and thus no evidence of any homicides!
Again in Episode 4, when Ange travels to Rokkenjima, she could not reach the mansion due to what appeared to be a landslide. In-game this is said to have possibly occurred over the years since the original events occurred, but...
Finally in Episode 4 again, the "final challenge" put to Battler regarding who killed him in the end, despite no other humans being left? The landslide did it.
At the end of EP 4, We have all been fooled by a simple play of words.
We all remember that epic red text.
"My name is Ushiromiya Battler. It was from Ushiromiya Asumu that Ushiromiya Battler was born. It was from Ushiromiya ...... ......nguh ............?! ......?!?! I am Ushiromiya Battler. It was from Ushiromiya Asumu that, ah, ngagh, ......nnnggghh......!!!"
"You are not Ushiromiya Asumu's son!"
Apparently, this Mind Screw fuel has spawned many theories, including Battler secretly being Kyrie's son. Nearly everyone believes that in fact there were originally two Battlers. Except this troper, who shall present the following theory:
It is true that Kyrie had a miscarriage. There was born only one Ushiromiya Battler - Asumu's son. However, Battler was not born from Asumu.
How come? We already know that Meta-Battler and Game-Board Battler aren't the same person. He actually pulls the same trick as Rika - splitting into a real-world and witch/meta self. Thus, he couldn't repeat it in red because it was adressed to the wrong person.
"It was from Ushiromiya Battler that BATTLER was born."
This should be the statement. So the truth can be THIS simple. Pukukukukuku...!
...unless it got Jossed/confirmed in EP 5 already, and i just didn't get as far in the game yet.
Amakusa is the baby that Natsuhi wanted to adopt
Beato stated that it would have taken a miracle for the servant and the baby to have survived falling off the cliff. Who's to say Bernkastel didn't do her thing? We never get a confirmation on his age. Maybe he's 31 and is just older than he looks?
Battler will deny Bernkastel
In order to take the game back from the Voyager witches, Battler needs to take the fight directly to them. Fighting them on the gameboard isn't enough anymore, as he can only attack their pawn, Erika.
Here's what will happen: Battler and his furniture will fight against Bernkastel, Lambdadelta, Erika, and their furniture in the sea of kakera. At one point, Battler will question Bernkastel's credibility, which will then lead to an all out denial of her existence. Being a Voyager-level witch, this takes a tremendous amount of effort, more than enough to deny Beatrice, but eventually she is crippled by their arguments and in a terrible state. Just before the final blow is dealt, though, Lambdadelta steps in and cuts them a deal: Battler and crew stop denying Bernkastel's existence, and Lambdadelta will no longer allow her to interfere with the game, nor will she intervene in any way herself. This is eventually considered fair, and the board is restored before the final game is set up.
If nothing else, there needs to be a kakera fight at some point.
The story isn't a mystery.
One of Dine's commandments states that there "must not be a love interest". Normally, I would think that I was being silly and looking at things from a shipper's point of view, but even if Battler doesn't reciprocate her feelings, Beato certainly seems to like him. The feeling doesn't have to be mutual for a love interest to become a love interest. Therefore, that rule has been broken, and the story can no longer be referred to as a mystery. If we say that the commandments simply don't apply, then it still can't be referred to as a mystery. Therefore, it is not a mystery - but that doesn't necessarily confirm the existence of witches. What does this leave us with? Anti-Fantasy With A Witch and Pro-Fantasy With A Witch?
Battler is the man from 19 years ago is Beatrice's child
Ninteen years ago, Kinzo came up to Natsuhi with an infant that she was to "welcome as my grandchild". Nineteen years ago is approximately the time Rosa's Beatrice fell to her death - Natsuhi is even kind enough to note that "Rosa was still living in the house back then."
The kid was Kinzo's child by that Beatrice, of course. There's no way the old man would allow a stranger with inferior non-Ushiromiya genes into the pinnacle of the inheritance hierarchy. A suddenly orphaned child and a childless heir was too convenient to pass up.
When he was told that the kid had died, his only response was a senile-sounding ramble about how he 'expected' that, and they had 'escaped again'. So far as Kinzo knew, the previous Beatrice also died from randomly falling from a cliff. He might have come to feel it was his 'fate' to lose every part of Beatrice that way* .]].
The still-living child was squirreled away by Rudolf and/or Kyrie and/or Asumu as a trump card against Kinzo. A genuine illegitimate Kinzo spawn would be of great value, just so long as he never learns the truth and becomes bitter and vengeful.
Hanyuu will set Bern right in the Good Ending
There will be hugging and crying.
At the end of Umineko Meta-Battler will find himself in the same position as Bernkastel after Higurashi
He will become a separate entity form his human self, a Sorcerer wandering the sea of kakera for all eternity. He will be forever separated from everyone he cares about, his only companion being the enemy he fought all this time, and came to love......after all, now they have only each other.
The baby from 19 years ago is a Red Herring
We know it was possible for the games to be solved after the first four. The existence of the baby wasn't even implied until the 5th game, so it's unlikely that the child's existence is important to the mystery.
Ange isn't Battler's little sister...
... she's his daughter. This theory is only viable if Battler is the child from 19 years ago, pushing up his age. Battler would have been around 13 to 14 years old when Ange was conceived (Battler's supposed to be 18 + 1 year between when Natsuhi received the child and when Battler was born + 1 year for the child having existed prior to Natsuhi being given it rounded up -7 years = ~ 13) it's possible for boys to produce viable sperm at that age. He's also shown that he believes acting pervy is something a man's supposed to do. He and one of the servant girls go at it, girl gets pregnant. Nine months pass, servant gives birth to Ange, but by this point Asumu is dead, so Rudolf hurries Kyrie into the registry in order to make it seem that Ange is their child conceived by affair before Asumu's death. Battler gets angry, doesn't realize his sister is his daughter and leaves the family. Six years later Ange's real mother takes revenge on the Ushiromiya family because Battler stole her heart, knocked her up, and then forgot all about her.
In relation to the above, Ange's mother is Beatrice.
It was implied at one point that Beatrice used to be furniture, so she could have been a servant for the Ushiromiya household prior to becoming Beatrice. She could have been the servant girl whom Battler slept with, and the one to give birth to Ange. However, this was back when she was a sweet, naive girl who knew little about how the real world worked. She would not fully understand the social ramifications of a young woman (never mind a twelve or thirteen year old) having a child out of wedlock. She is the mother who wants revenge on Battler not only for knocking her up, but (in her eyes) for stealing her child away from her.
The "Battler is Kyrie's son" theory, and the "Battler is the child from 19 years ago theory" are compatible.
Asumu and Kyrie gave birth around the same time. Asumu's child was stillborn, but if Kyrie gave birth to a son and Asumu didn't Rudolf would have to leave her for Kyrie. So Asumu has someone take Kyrie's child and put it up for adoption. Unfortunately for her, they put him in a certain orphanage that has close ties with the Ushiromiya family, causing Kinzo to find out. He tries to have Natsuhi raise the child but that doesn't go well. Then Kinzo puts Battler with Rudolf and Asumu and has them act like the child was born a year later then it really was.
Kanon is Bernkastel
Kanon is frequently and in an oddly deliberate manner compared to a cat. Bernkastel has a cat tail and at one point actually shows up as a cat. Kanon compares himself to a duck when talking to Jessica. Bernkastel said that she fell into Lambdadelta's trap like a duck in the extra Bernkastel's letter TIP. Bernkastel's obsessed with exposing Beatrice. Kanon expressed a former desire to "disclose her True Colors" should he find her in the Gohda diary TIP, and still now dislikes her. He is also implied to be sneaking around throughout significant portions of the episodes - perhaps gathering clues? Both are also pretty calm, collected, and snarky, except when they get pissed.
Bern's beloved piece Erika is also wearing Jessica's old clothing - a lingering fetish perhaps?
Kinzo isn't dead.
In episode 4, it's stated that someone else can be recognized as Kinzo. If this is so, that person could be the Kinzo who is dead before the beginning of each game. Whoever they are, the real Kinzo is impersonating them or has paid an outsider to do so. It's most easily applicable if the dead Kinzo is Kanon or Shannon since the (mostly jossed, but not impossible) Shkanon theory could support this. If Kinzo is alive, he could be the one who caused the massacre in the dining hall in Alliance, thus making it easier to believe that his children believed it was him. Think about it, how willing would you be to accept some random person was the successor to your Disappeared Dad?
Maria is Kinzo's daughter.
Because he's a bastard. That'd also explain why Rosa is so broken. That doesn't mean that she's the murderer though.
Maria has created the story
Maria's powers as a creator witch are far outside her control. Note that she had drawn pictures of all the witches starting from the first arc. She could very well have created all the witches. If this was the case, truly defeating the witches would be done by causing Maria to deny the beings she created, just as her mother denied and destroyed Sakutaro. Not only would this be extremely, painfully ironic, it would also tie into 07ths use of decoy protagonist.
Beatrice and Virgillia are the same person
Just a silly theory based on that one scene where Virgillia takes Beatrice as her apprentice. Just looking at the dialogue, it seems like one person named Beatrice talking in third person.
The true number of people (excluding Erika) on the island is 20.
No more than 17 humans exist on this island!! That statement isn't in decimal, but base 13. 17 in base 13 is equal to 20 in decimal. Knox's 8th. It is forbidden for the case to be resolved with clues that are not presented. However, At one point Kinzo is shown saying that "6* 9=42" which doesn't make sense in decimal, but makes perfect sense in base 13, thereby satisifying Knox's 8th. This allows three more people to be on the island. Furthermore, besides the people confirmed to be alive on the island, anyone mentioned in the first game can be one of the extra people and the culprit without violating Knox's 1st.
Amakusa is the baby that Natsuhi wanted to adopt
Beato stated that it would have taken a miracle for the servant and the baby to have survived falling off the cliff. Who's to say Bernkastel didn't do her thing? We never get a confirmation on his age. Maybe he's 31 and is just older than he looks?
Beatrice will eventually end up marrying every single Ushiromiya.
Suppose Shannon, Kanon, and Beatrice are all the same person. In that case, Beatrice is involved with each of the cousins (as Kanon with Jessica, as Shannon with George, as Beatrice with Battler and with Maria in the Mariage Sorcière). Let Eva get too stressed and EVA-Beatrice appears. And of course, Kinzo was completely obsessed with Beatrice. All we need now is for Natsuhi and Kyrie to get in the act and every single Ushiromiya will either be Beatrice or be married to her.
Erika is Beatrice is Jessica.
We've all heard Jessitrice, so we can leave that aside. We also know that Erika doesn't exist, but that she must in some form due to the Red. The solution most-often speculated is that "Erika" is a sort of ball that's passed around as necessary, meaning it's a title assumed by the appropriate character. In this case, I'm assuming it's Jessica. Not only are Erika and Beatrice thematically contrasted, but everyone compares Erika and Jessica. Not only that, but Jessica is pretty much a non-factor whenever Erika's involved in multiple ways. Jessica's already been speculated to have split personalities by Battler himself, and Erika dissolves into gold Beatrice-style when she dies, satisfying the Epitaph by "sleeping forever" by the game's own text! Ontop of that, this can explain why Kanon was necessary to save Batter. If Jessrika met Kanon, she'd probably go sane from whatever's making her effing kill people and generally being a monster-bitch.
All of the Fukuin children are Beatrice candidates.
Whatever Kinzo wanted from Rosa's Beatrice, he didn't get it. She was like Battler's Beatrice of EP6, an innocent child that had the looks, but not the soul. Thus, when she died, he quite obviously continued trying to revive her. He also started adopting servants from the Fukuin orphanage. We know that someone was going around doing pranks to make the Beatrice legend more believable, and we also know all the Fukuin children were given false furniture names. Perhaps Kinzo (and Kumasawa) were teaching them "magic", such as the furniture of false, maintainable identities, and teaching them basically how to be Beatrice. Shannon/Shkannon may be the "winner." Which would be ironic if this was triggered by Battler.
All the hints towards Shkannon theory being true are just epic trolling.
Note, I'm not really against Shkannon myself, but this would be so Ryukishi07 - made us believe in something just for teh lulz, and then present a completely different solution.
Erika is Maria
As the 'Erika is Jessica' theory above, but:
The Red-dressed person is an androgynous male
Flat chest, masculine clothing, Ryukishi's a troll.
The term "dead" simply means the person isn't thinking.
For example, Gohda is dead., could mean: Gohda is a corpse, but it could also that he is unconscious.
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