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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
They Might Be Giants
"Experimental Film" and "Dr. Worm" are both from the point of view of the same person

Drumming and film-making were both Fleeting Passionate Hobbies.

Kendra McCormick no longer lives in this dorm because TMBG killed her
Oh my god, they killed Kendra! You bastards!

Particle Man is one of Dr. Wily's creations, and he's weak to whatever Triangle Man is packing.
Let's see... The song features Particle Man, Triangle Man, Universe Man, and Person Man, all of whom fit the naming scheme for Robot Masters, and their varied and bizarre descriptions suggest that they're just the kind of weirdoes that a mad scientist would assemble. What Particle Man himself is like is, the song says, "not important", which suggests he doesn't have much characterization beyond how he moves across the screen, "doing the things a particle can", i.e. the standard theme-based move-and-attach patterns of a Mega Man boss. Even less is said about Triangle Man, but "they have a fight, Triangle Wins", in the case of both Particle Man and Person Man. Not Triangle Man, necessarily, just Triangle, and most bosses in the Mega Man series give you a weapon that's named after them: Metal Man gives you Metal Blades, Top Man gives you Top Spin, etc. Universe Man is the largest of the level bosses, but "usually kind to smaller man", so as intimidating as he seems, his weapon isn't likely to be very strong.
  • Or Smaller Man is another level boss, friends with Universe Man, and got his name because they hang out together and Universe Man is so huge. Although that does make me wonder what Smaller Man's weapon would be.
    • A shrink ray!

Alternatively, Particle Man is a retelling of the story of Watchmen by Alan Moore.
Particle Man is the second Nite-Owl, a man of science with a submersible flying machine and an inferiority complex, Person Man is Rorschach, a seemingly disturbed individual with a very mysterious identity he no longer sees as being his true self ("What's he like? It's not important."), Universe Man is the godlike Dr. Manhattan, and the pyramid-themed supergenius Ozymandias is the victorious Triangle Man.
  • But "What's he like? It's not important," refers to Particle Man, not Person Man.
    • Still fits, as Person Man 'lives his life in a garbage can', alluding to Rorschach's poor sense of hygiene.
  • Alternately, Particle Man might be the Comedian. "When he's underwater, does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead?" I.e., did a callous, degraded society make him into a ruthless killer, or have his activities caused society to be more callous and degraded than it otherwise would have been? Besides, what's the very first thing that happens in Watchmen? They have a fight. Triangle wins.

"Particle Man" is a retelling of the Elric family tragedies from Fullmetal Alchemist.
Inspired by this video, but while Particle Man is Ed, and Triangle Man is Envy, Hoenheim is Universe Man, as evidenced by his mastery over Alchemy and immortality (second hand is his life and family amongst the mortals, millenium hand is his immortality, and eon hand is the Truth), and Alphonse is Person Man, comparatively the normal observer, no special powers and not a very outstanding personality for most of the time, with his most noticeable feature is living his life as a garbage can.
  • Debunked. The song was written before FMA.

"Particle Man" is the story of Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man.
It warrants mention. Death is Particle Man, "doing the things a particle can" like being in two places at once, being two things at once, moving through walls. The Auditors, who hate Person-ness and Death after he gains a personality, as well as existing in threes, are Triangle Man. Azrael is Universe man (he's got a clock with a second hand, millenium hand, and an aeon hand) and is the only one not to be even temporarily defeated by, or even challenged by Triangle Man (the Auditors). And Person Man is people.
  • Particle Man is older than Reaper Man - Terry Pratchett has gone on record saying that he is a big fan of They Might Be Giants. He even took Foul Ole Ron's catchphrase from the song.
    • Shh! Do you want Terry Pratchett to get sued for plagiarism?

The statue kills the singer by atomizing him. Also, the song makes reference to a "monolith."
  • Jossed. It's apparently about Dr. Fate.

Talking rocks, sirens, Your Head Asplode? What do you mean it's not drugs?

The Bee Of The Bird Of The Moth is Cthulhu or an Eldritch Abomination
Just listen to the song. It's either about a very confused hummingbird moth, or something far more sinister...

The singer in the first verse of "Turn Around" is an assassin (or the person who decides who dies), who knows he's about to die.
Explains why he could say he was working in the office, and that he had recently (thought he) killed a man isn't a big deal. The man he talked to on the phone is also an assassin and is pointing a gun at the singer ("...the same obsequious manner which is the reason I had him killed").

The narrator of 'I'm your boyfriend now' killed the object of his affections.
The song gets progressively more sinister, beginning with admiration and progressing to physical stalking and the singer confessing he listens to voices in his head. The particular verse "You don't have to say it, I can see it in your eyes, I can read it in your heart and I can hear it in your silence" is what convinces me. After that, the narrator continues to question why his beloved won't act like he's her boyfriend. The answer, whether he's rational enough to know or not, is because she can't; she's dead.
  • The original demo said "And I know that the restraining order wasn't meant to be" rather than "I can read it in your heart, I can hear it in your silence"...which actually makes this interp even more plausible. And it's not like they're any strangers to fucked-up pseudo-love songs.

The Statues are Weeping Angels.
The statue sent a beam into the narrator's eye and then he died. The Angel can imprint an image into your eyes and then an Angel will be in your mind. You die shortly after.

Nyquil Driver is now serving time.
He obviously fell asleep at the wheel and ran someone over.

"Experimental Film," "Doctor Worm," and "Statue Got Me High" take place in the same universe.
The narrator is in college, trying to decide between a medical career or an artistic one. He mentions that something in the film he's working on makes your face explode. He also mentions he doesn't know what makes your face explode. Then, he hears word of the eponymous statue of the second song. So, he films the statue. It doesn't work to the full effect, and when he watches it he finds that his head isn't splattered all over the dorm-room walls. It does, however, cause dementia, causing him to believe that he is a worm. What little remains of his old self is the fact he likes to play the drums, signifying his love for the arts.

Cake's song "Comfort Eagle" is the prequel to "Dirtbike" and The bird of the bee of the moth is one of the deities the cult worships, alongside cthulhu,
and an ethnocentric american rocker who likes to smoke. While that doesn't SEEM very godly, remember the lyrics talking about him handling the money AND serving the food, all the while calling you dude. It takes either multiple bodies or psychic powers and teleportation to do that at a a party where people serve the food as apposed to the self-serve most parties employ. not to mention that his cigarette doesn't seem to ash. On the bird/bee/moth side, we have what seems to (as stated above) an eldritch abomination. The submarine was a sacrifice.

The third verse of "Upside-Down Frown" is a response to "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Just look at the lyrics. "When I'm with you, the landscape goes all weird." "Black is white" (referencing Al's TMBG pastiche "Everything You Know Is Wrong"). And a few comments on his appearance: "the rainbow has a beard", referring to his colorful outfit and having grown a beard as of 2007, and harping on correcting bad eyesight, which Al had corrected with laser surgery shortly after the pastiche.

The "Intellectuals meet" that Gloria mentions in the spoken "Track 13"...
Is a Mensa meeting.

Gloria is having an affair with the man on the phone.
The background voice near the end of the recording is her real husband.

"Turn Around" is about Predator
"Turn around" is one of the English phrases the Predator knows. Moreover, the Predator wears a pale mask and collects human skulls, and it's "a thing there that can't be found" when using its camouflage.

"I'm Your Boyfriend Now" and "Call You Mom" are about the same guy.
Different girls, though. He's had a very troubled past.

"S-E-X-X-Y" is about a transvestite
A common enough interpretation to this song, given lines like these:
Secret agent spy, come to see why
...
You gotta understand / She wants to be your man / She's got another plan

Universe Man is God.

Speaks for itself.

The "Fingertips" suite is the story of one man's life from conception to the afterlife
See a track-by-track breakdown here

"Reprehensible" is narrated by the subject of "When Will You Die"
Both songs seem to be about the ultimate Complete Monster.

"Cloisonné" is about domestic abuse.
It's not unlike TMBG to write a disturbing song with bright music, but the lyrics to this one are creepy even for them. "Don't go callin' law enforcement"? It definitely sounds like something illegal is going down. "Mind your business"? "Keep your voice down"? It's not much of a stretch to assume that that illegal act is abusive in some way, likely towards a child or spouse. (And it's about time Flans got his time to shine as the one to write dark lyrics, anyway!)

"Wearing a Raincoat" is about a man starting to Madden Into Misanthropy because of an extended hospital stay following a nasty injury.
He has trouble recalling anything from before the injury except childhood memories of wearing a raincoat and pretending he's "flying around in a plane made of a raincoat", but it "hurts [his] mind" for him to think about it, and the "friend to talk you down/that comes at a price" is actually a nurse or orderly. He has to eat "food that comes from a pipe" (which he's sick of by this point) because of internal injuries that weakened his digestive system (or perhaps he's in a full-body cast or had his jaw wired shut), and because of chronic pain he has to "turn to drugs to help you sleep". He regards sleeping as "a gateway drug to being awake again" because whenever he's conscious, he feels like he's "swimming around in a lake of the undead", and he's hounded by well-wishers (whom he doesn't recognize because of his amnesia) and hospital staff trying to help him remain lucid: "a bunch of friends that demand constant attention". The line about "playing the drums to help you sleep" might indicate a future happy ending, as he's recovered enough to attempt physical and art therapy, in this case playing with a drum.
Them Crooked VulturesWMG/MusicVocaloid

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