[[WMG:''The Star Wars Holiday Special'' is in-universe propaganda.]]
TheEmpire created it to torture Rebel sympathizers and make them so annoyed by the Alliance heroes that the Rebels would never want to see them again.
* Some of it was probably also part of the unseen torture that Darth Vader used on Princess Leia in ''Film/ANewHope'', especially the parts with Chewie's family. The scene at the end where she's singing? She ''is'' singing, alright... alone in her cell under the influence of whatever that hovering droid injected her with.
** That would certainly explain [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs her appearance and behavior]] in the special.
** It's even more likely it was used too as part of the torture used on Han Solo in ''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack''.
* Or that it is a weapon designed by the Sith to turn Jedi to the dark side.
* It's an Imperial propaganda film that was a botched attempt to discredit the Rebellion in the wake of the Death Star's destruction and how Life Day was portrayed was just typical Imperial racism. Instead, it became a source of SnarkBait in-universe and Vader then gave the director a slow and excruciating [[YouHaveFailedMe telekinetic throat hug]].
* It was meant to justify committing genocide against the Wookies.

[[WMG:''Life Day'' itself was created by the Empire to keep the Rebellion too discombobulated to be effective.]]
* It's celebrated with colorful holographic dancers, psychedelic 1970s-style music, and drugs (note the drugged-out look on poor Leia's face). The men were also required to wear thick makeup (as seen on Luke), and those not able to wear the makeup (such as Wookiees) had to watch long pointless instructional videos instead. Or porn.
** [[Theatre/AvenueQ The Viewmaster is for porn/The Viewmaster is porn/Wookiees won't have their hair shorn/But the Viewmaster is for porn.]]
** Old, decrepit Wookiees get to use the Viewmaster for that this is a way for TheEmpire to {{Squick}} out anyone and everyone nearby.
** Said porn consists of weird, quasi-psychedelic weirdness with mermaid-human ladies chatting at you and singing in sexy fashion.

[[WMG:The entire thing was just a nightmare that was had by one of the characters.]]
Because you know, I had a nightmare after watching it!
* Lumpy? Is that you?

[[WMG:Imagine the special had come out before VHS tapes or other home recording happened...]]
''Franchise/StarWars'' as a franchise goes along like it normally would, as does for the most part its fandom and expanded universe... but in the 1990s, rumors start to go about in the more hardcore sects of the fandom about a holiday special that supposedly aired in the late 1970s, how apparently it had Bea Arthur and Art Carney in it, and Wookies talking for 20 minutes. But, sadly, no known copies of the special exist, and the only thing people have to go on is testimonials or maybe some still photos.

Can you ''even imagine'' how much of a legend the special would become, even moreso than it is now? It would surpass ''Film/TheDayTheClownCried'' in reputation as the most horrible film nobody ever saw. Books would be written, documentaries would be made, countless people would spend countless hours of their lives trying to unravel the mystery. Carrie Fisher stating that the drugs blocked out all memory of the production would take on a whole new significance. The cels from the animated segment that were auctioned in our world would go for three times their original price in this world, as would the 45 single pressing for the Jefferson Starship song. People would constantly wait for the day Creator/GeorgeLucas either dies, has a change of heart, or slips up on security enough that the original masters of the special get released/leaked, upon which they will pass from hand to hand underground for ludicrous prices.

Then, when somebody has enough of a generous spirit to forego their profits and copy the master onto the Internet for all to see, all of those who spent a decade or two trying to unravel the great mystery that is ''The Star Wars Holiday Special'' will inevitably scratch their heads and go "''This'' is what all the fuss is about? ''This'' is the animation I spent my kid's college fund on to get a single frame?!"
* Television shows were still being distributed via 16mm film in the late 70's. It would not be unlikely if an enterprising Star Wars fan got a hold of a network print and made copies.

[[WMG:The special will NEVER be released.]]
Creator/GeorgeLucas will state so in his will. Not that that will have any legal backing, but they will do so out of respect for the dead.
* Well, lets hope he included a clause when he sold LucasFilm to Disney prohibiting the sale of the Holiday Special.

[[WMG:The special is the true reason why SOPA and PIPA exist.]]
SOPA and PIPA did not come about as Hollywood's ultimate plot to [[DigitalPiracyIsEvil stop online piracy]] and copyright infringement forever. It's actually George Lucas's ultimate plot to remove the Holiday Special's existence from the internet forever.
* Why did they need to keep that fact secret? No one would object, everyone would support it.
** Because there's always one nutter uploading it to YouTube for the sheer heck of it/to satisfy people's curiosity that is the exception that proves the rule, 'tis why.

[[WMG: The bartender is Dorothy Zbornak.]]
Series/{{The Golden Girls}} kept their promise to Rose that when they die they'll be frozen so they can be cured and get back together in the future. Well, it took them a really long time to get thawed, and they found they'd been transported to a galaxy far, far, away. The four opened a cantina on Tattooine; they clearly like hot weather and Blanche just loves bad boys like smugglers and men in uniforms like Stormtroopers.
* This theory makes more sense than the entire special did.

[[WMG: Greedo is the Hans Moleman of the Star Wars Universe.]]
Not literally, of course, but his presence indicates that while he may have indeed died as a result of his encounter with Han Solo, he was fine the next day, in the tradition of Hans Moleman, Fearless Fosdick and other slapstick characters. He just... didn't have anything to do in the next two films, but it's not unthinkable that he died a few more times since.

[[WMG: That Imperial Guard that visited Saun Dann's shop was on leave with PTSD following a battle with the Mon Calamari in which his entire squad were wiped out.]]
It would explain why he hated fish.

[[WMG: Disney is planning a big-budget remake of this special in order to rehab its reputation.]]

[[WMG: Mark Hamill crashed his car on purpose to get out of the special.]]
It didn't work (and it necessitated some truly frightening makeup), but it was worth a try.

[[WMG: Princess Leia really was on drugs, and almost everything in the special takes place from her point of view.]]
Going with the RealLife fact that Carrie was on drugs when they did the special, Leia would have been on some Star Wars drugs at some point before the beginning of the Holiday Special. This would explain why she doesn't remember being at Chewie's planet before during ''Literature/TheThrawnTrilogy'' books - she probably never took the drugs again between the first visit and the second. Think about it: when a person is on drugs when they're doing something, they will not remember it when they're sober. For example, when a person is drunk and leaves their keys somewhere, they won't remember where they left them when they're not drunk, and it will come to them when they get drunk again. The drugs aspect might also explain why "Kashyyk" was misinterpreted as "Kazook", why Greedo appears after dying, all the {{Big Lipped Alligator Moment}}s. All because of some GRatedDrug in the Star Wars universe.

[[WMG: The announcer in the placeholder commercial is Boba Fett]]
The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6re5fLsELE commercial]] was animated by Nelvana, and the PSA the audio comes from must also be animated by Nelvana. It's random, but it might be plausible. The backwards part is Boba speaking in Mandalorian, and the forwards part is Boba speaking in English. The voiceover sounds nothing like Don Francks, but still...

[[WMG: Life Day is the one day when all the galaxy's drugs are made legal by the Empire.]]
Like a toned-down, more hilarious version of Film/ThePurge. Plus, it would explain about 99% of the special itself.

[[WMG: What the hell is Life Day?]]
Post all guesses about exactly what happens on this holiday here.
* Every year when Ceraxian's Comet reaches its perihelion the kindly old galactic trader Saun Dann comes down to the planet's surface in a starship pulled by pygmy nerfs and delivers toys to all good sentients before returning to the comet and his workshop, where his Toydarian employees make all the toys for the next Life Day.
** The Saun Dann seen in the movie was in fact simply a Rebel agent smuggling weapons to the Alliance while undercover as, essentially, an "office Santa".
* In ancient times Wookiee holy men would make a sacrifice on a stone slab at the base of the tree of life as part of a ritual to bring a symbolic end to Kashyyyk's harsh winters.