WMG: The Star Wars Holiday Special
The Star Wars Holiday Special is in-universe propaganda.
created it to torture Rebel sympathizers and make them so annoyed by the Alliance heroes that the Rebels would never want to see them again.
- Some of it was probably also part of the unseen torture that Darth Vader used on Princess Leia in A New Hope, especially the parts with Chewie's family. The scene at the end where she's singing? She is singing, alright...alone in her cell under the influence of whatever that hovering droid injected her with.
- Or that it is a weapon designed by the Sith to turn Jedi to the dark side.
- It's an Imperial propaganda film that was a botched attempt to discredit the Rebellion in the wake of the Death Star's destruction and how Life Day was portrayed was just typical Imperial racism. Instead, it became a source of Snark Bait in-universe and Vader then gave the director a telekinetic throat hug.
Life Day itself was created by the Empire to keep the Rebellion too discombobulated to be effective.
- It's celebrated with colorful holographic dancers, psychedelic 1970s-style music, and drugs (note the drugged-out look on poor Leia's face). The men were also required to wear thick makeup (as seen on Luke), and those not able to wear the makeup (such as Wookiees) had to watch long pointless instructional videos instead. Or porn.
The entire thing was just a nightmare that was had by one of the characters.
Because you know, I had a nightmare after watching it!
Imagine the special had come out before VHS tapes or other home recording happened...
as a franchise goes along like it normally would, as does for the most part its fandom and expanded universe...but in the 1990s, rumors start to go about in the more hardcore sects of the fandom about a holiday special that supposedly aired in the late 1970s, how apparently it had Bea Arthur and Art Carney in it, and Wookies talking for 20 minutes. But, sadly, no known copies of the special exist, and the only thing people have to go on is testimonials or maybe some still photos.
Can you even imagine
how much of a legend the special would become, even moreso than it is now? It would surpass The Day the Clown Cried
in reputation as the most horrible film nobody ever saw. Books would be written, documentaries would be made, countless people would spend countless hours of their lives trying to unravel the mystery. Carrie Fisher stating that the drugs blocked out all memory of the production would take on a whole new significance. The cels from the animated segment that were auctioned in our world would go for three times their original price in this world, as would the 45 single pressing for the Jefferson Starship song. People would constantly wait for the day George Lucas either dies, has a change of heart, or slips up on security enough that the original masters of the special get released/leaked, upon which they will pass from hand to hand underground for ludicrous prices.
Then, when somebody has enough of a generous spirit to forego their profits and copy the master onto the Internet for all to see, all of those who spent a decade or two trying to unravel the great mystery that is The Star Wars Holiday Special
will inevitably scratch their heads and go "This
is what all the fuss is about? This
is the animation I spent my kid's college fund on to get a single frame?!"
- Television shows were still being distributed via 16mm film in the late 70's. It would not be unlikely if an enterprising Stat Wars fan got a hold of a network print and made copies.
The special will NEVER be released.
will state so in his will. Not that that will have any legal backing, but they will do so out of respect for the dead.
- Well, lets hope he included a clause when he sold Lucas Film to Disney prohibiting the sale of the Holiday Special.
The special is the true reason why SOPA and PIPA exist.
SOPA and PIPA did not come about as Hollywood's ultimate plot to stop online piracy
and copyright infringement forever. It's actually George Lucas's ultimate plot to remove the Holiday Special's existence from the internet forever.
- Why did they need to keep that fact secret? No one would object, everyone would support it.
The bartender is Dorothy Zbornak.
The Golden Girls
kept their promise to Rose that when they die they'll be frozen so they can be cured and get back together in the future. Well, it took them a really long time to get thawed, and they found they'd been transported to a galaxy far, far, away. The four opened a cantina on Tattooine; they clearly like hot weather and Blanche just loves bad boys like smugglers and men in uniforms like Stormtroopers.
- This theory makes more sense than the entire special did.
Greedo is the Hans Moleman of the Star Wars Universe.
Not literally, of course, but his presence indicates that while he may have indeed died as a result of his encounter with Han Solo, he was fine the next day, in the tradition of Hans Moleman, Fearless Fosdick and other slapstick characters. He just... didn't have anything to do in the next two films, but it's not unthinkable that he died a few more times since.
That Imperial Guard that visited Saun Dann's shop was on leave with PTSD following a battle with the Mon Calamari in which his entire squad were wiped out.
It would explain why he hated fish.
Disney is planning a big-budget remake of this special in order to rehab its reputation.