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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Superman Returns
Superman Returns

Lex Luthor is Keyser Söze
Same director, same actor, similar mannerisms, a penchant for disguises and aliases. It all adds up. The Usual Suspects is set in Bryan Singer's Superman universe. Keyser Söze is a myth invented by Lex Luthor to scare people, while Verbal Kint is a simple cover alias.

Jason was not Superman's son.
That was just a really, really light piano.
  • According to the Blue Book of Pianos the average Steinway Pianos weighs between 540 lbs and 990 lbs depending on model.
    • Lex Luthor bought a custom, ultralight weight piano so he can push it around easily and pretend he's Superman.
      • That is, conservatively speaking, an extremely far stretch.
  • Seriously though, has anyone done the math on this? If Richard and Lois (and therefore everyone else) genuinely believe he's Richard's son... it's a pretty small window of opportunity, is what I'm saying.
    • I don't think they DO think that he's Richard's son. It's more realistic to think that Richard met and fell in love with Lois while she was pregnant. The two got engaged, they put Richard's name on the birth certificate, and no one cared beyond Jason now having a father.

Superman Returns is set within the Burton/Schumacher Batman universe.
Superman and Metropolis are mentioned in Batman Forever/& Robin and Gotham in Superman Returns. Plus after Batman Returns the events of Superman Returns takes place. Lex Luthor's crystal continent could have caused damage not only to Metropolis but also (and maybe to a larger extent) Gotham. With most of Gotham in disrepair the city is completely renovated replacing all the gothic architecture with the bright neon lights shown in Batman Forever and Batman & Robin.

Lois Lane has the strange case of Benjamin Burton.
30s years —-> 23 years

Jason, upset by the Parental Abandonment, will become a supervillain.
Because reason to hate hero + superpowers + ostracized by peers = supervillain.

Lois Lane is angry at Superman because she thinks he raped her.
Remember, Superman erased Lois's memory of their time together with his amnesia kiss in Superman II. To Lois's perspective, she never had sex with Superman or anyone else, but she somehow gave birth to a baby with superpowers. What else is she going to think?

Jason is going to become Superboy.
Resulting in a universe with two supermen and a golden age of science and technology because Jason is being raised by his actual parent and will want to help his home world in a different way.
  • Sadly, they decide to reboot the thing for the...god knows how many times instead of expanding this interesting bit.
  • And in the movie, Jason gets an "A" on his report card in science, supporting the "golden age of science and technology" part of this WMG.

Brutus is the Killer Birthday Clown.
Early in the film, Perry White mentions "that birthday clown massacre thing." Following on from this, Brutus has a tattoo of a scary clown face which the movie focuses on as if it means something. Ergo, Brutus is a former Monster Clown who murdered a bunch of people at some kid's birthday party. Which makes his... interest in Jason all the creepier.

Had Superman Returns had been more successful, the movie would have been the setup for a Justice League film.
Think about it - Lex Luthor tries to create a continent in the ocean made out of Kryptonite, probably messing up marine life for thousands of leagues, and pissing off Aquaman. Gotham City is mentioned frequently in the movie - at one point, when Lex Luthor sets off his device, the map shows that Gotham City is not far from ground zero, so it too would have been affected, getting Batman involved. Depending on how far the Kryptonite affected the oceans, it could have affected the Amazons on their island, bringing in Wonder Woman to be sent as an envoy to the "World of Men".

That leaves Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and the Flash - perhaps one of the pilots escorting the Space Shuttle flight was Hal Jordan?

This film didn't have Kryptonite, but Tiberium.
This explains how Superman could lift a whole island's worth of the stuff while still suffering some ill effects.


Man of SteelWMG/FILMSweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

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