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Squirrel Girl doesn't have squirrel powers.
Those are trained squirrels. She's Veruca Salt. After being thrown down the garbage chute she became obsessed with getting an army of squirrels. Daddy got her one squirrel, but she traveled the world, getting more squirrels to join her and she trained them to attack whoever she doesn't like. She went through Character Development and chose to be a superhero later.
Squirrel Girl doesn't have squirrel powers.
Squirrels have Squirrel Girl Powers.
Squirrel Girl is the daughter of the Beyonder.
Her powers have not fully manifested themselves, but she unconsciously warps reality around herself. This allows the fourteen year old girl to beat heavy hitters of the Marvel universe who should otherwise mop the floor with her.
Squirrel Girl's real power is Plot Armour.
This is a minor power for almost all super heroes but she has made it her primary tool. That squirrel stuff is stage dressing, she would still win of she spent the entire time naked, bound and gagged and at the bottom of a volcano.
Squirrel Girl is a student of Miaowara Tomokato, the Samurai Cat.
Tomokato was the original practitioner of the martial art based on the Dark Side of Absurdity, which allows the wielder to exercise effective omnipotence and beat any foe, however cosmic, but only if the audience is laughing. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Add in that Tomokato is himself a time-traveling and parallel-timeline-travelling anthropomorphic furry animal, and that his first candidate as his protege (his nephew Shiro) is a hideously unlikeable psychopathic brat, and its not unlikely that at sometime throughout his wanderings through all time and space, he met the utterly charming Doreen and decided that she was a more worthy successor to his school. (The character of Miaowara Tomokato is from the Samurai Cat novels by Mark E. Rogers).
Abilities pertaining to Squirrels are the ultimate power.
Power over Squirrels is no laughing matter, Doctor Doom, Maelstrom, MODOK, Terrax, and Thanos never really had a fighting chance. An army of Squirrels is far more formidable than any force of Doombots, Hydra, Skrull, or Mutants. Thank god Squirrel Girl is on our side or we would all be kneeling before our tiny furry Squirrel overlords.
Squirrel Girl is the daughter of The Janitor
Undefeatable squirrel army? Mighty fearitude? Please. It's obvious.
Squirrel Girl's using an infinite loop.
Obviously, she has Earthcraft, Squirrel's Nest, and a Forest in play.
Squirrel Girl's secret is she's a DC character trapped in the Marvel Universe
She's able to do everything she does witha happy-go-lucky outlook on life, is confident, well-adjusted and straightforward, and manages to do it all with no Angst. The excessive Angst typical of Marvel characters, such as Speedball becoming Penance, drives her crazy. If she was in the DC Universe, she'd be utterly unremarkable and typical.
Squirrel Girl is Doom's next target.
The closest thing Doom has to a gimmick is stealing the powers of superbeings (Silver Surfer, Galactus, Beyonder, Haruhi Suzumiya). Doom seeks to steal the power of the being that defeated him with mere squirrels. Surely such power would be the best weapon in his neverending battle against RICHARDS!
Forcing Squirrel Girl to learn the word "impossible" will rob her of her powers.
She accidentally blabs about it ◊ during a battle with MODOK. What do you mean, I'm being too literal?
The Thanos Squirrel Girl defeated was neither a clone, nor the real thing.
He was a Skrull. Possibly anal.
From Mighty God King: Squirrel Girl is Ratatoskr
In essence, Marvel is all about the Norse Mythology. Ratatoskr, a squirrel, is a relatively minor figure who relays messages between the top and bottom of Yggdrasil. The comment in question isn't too specific, but I think we're supposed to make something of the fact that, despite the 'messages' being primarily insults, Ratatoskr came out of it all okay, without any maiming, or the like.
Squirrel Girl will be directly responsible for undoing One More Day (and much more).
In the first page of the Crisis Crossover, Deadpool will provide Squirrel Girl with information about One More Day, and Squirrel Girl's fangirlish attitude towards real superheroes like Spider-Man will make her furryious, thus she embarks on her quest to defeat Mephisto, whom she defeats in the most epic and breathtaking fight ever shown. The ramifications of this event will affect the Status Quo of the entire Marvel Universe. Firstly, it will reveal that Peter Parker never sold his soul to the devil, he just divorced Mary Jane and accepted his child with her like any normal, sane, goodhearted person would do. Secondly, it will show that all of Reginald Hudlin's work of Black Panther will be revealed as a patriotic Wakandian's own deal with Mephisto in a foolish attempt to make Wakanda greater than it was. Thirdly, it will reveal that Norman Osborne and Aunt May, who were both revived during the Clone Saga, are really was clones all along, made by none other than Mephisto.
Squirrel Girl has some relation to the Lady of Pain
The Lady of Pain and Squirrel Girl are both, mysteriously, more powerful than just about anything else in their respective multiverses. And one source theorizes the Lady of Pain is six squirrels and a ring of levitation. Obviously this means they're cross-dimensional equivalents or possibly Squirrel Girl is the Lady's daughter.
Squirrel Girl really is half squirrel.
Her mother made up the "mutant" story to hide the shame of the Interspecies Romance she doesn't like to talk about.
Squirrel Girl really is a super powerful meta-human...
It's just that she's gotten so sick of the world that had become such a bleak, dark angsty place that she's decided that if she had to save the world, she might as well be a Bunny-Ears Lawyer and have some fun with it.
Squirrel Girl isn't a girl with squirrel-like mutations, she's a squirrel with human-like mutations.
Her mother is adoptive.
Squirrel Girl's mutation is a result of her mother eating a radio-active hazelnut during her pregnancy. This is also why Squirrel Girl's lips taste like hazelnuts.
Squirrel Girl will be reinvented as a Darker and Edgier Anti-Hero when a sufficiently bad enough writer gets their grimy hands on her.
I'm sorry. But given Marvel's track record in recent years, it's inevitable. Soon, SG teams up with The Punisher. They Fight Crime.
Squirrel Girl's father is Chuck Norris.
Because Rule Of Cool.
Squirrel Girl's actual power is Reality Warping to follow the Rule of Funny
So long as she keeps the situation completely ridiculous, she can make anyone her bitch. Since commanding squirrels always makes the fight weird, she can beat Doctor Doom and the like.
Squirrel Girl's power comes from having Spiral Power
Because no one else in the Marvel Universe has access to Spiral Energy, she's the most powerful being in it. She also expresses her Spiral Power in a slightly different way, just by being upbeat, cheerful, and genuinely happy, rather than hot-blooded. In other words? She's Nia, but with squirrels.
Thanos was lying.
If his duplicates can supposedly fool even the Watcher, he can remain tecnically undefeated from the point of view of anyone in-universe. Mostly, he just didn't want to admit that he got his butt kicked by a girl with a fluffy tail.
Squirrel Girl's so powerful because the Marvel Universe runs on the Dwarf Fortress engine.
Someone made the squirrels too hardcore.
There are super-squirrels.
She controls these squirrels, and they have the best powers: invincibility, invisibility, creating alcohol, giving people a temporary Weaksauce Weakness...
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