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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
The New Kid is from Cleveland
  • And his name... is Larry Bobinski.
    • Jossed. His name is Dohvokiin.

The New Kid and his family are Mormon.

  • Everytime when you die and get Game Over, you are sent to the gates of Heaven. According to South Park lore, only Mormons get to go to heaven. Everyone else gets sent to hell.
    • What if he's a Jew?
    • In the episode where Kenny commanded Heaven's armies against Hell's, it was said that Heaven began making exceptions to this rule to boost their numbers for the battle.

Mr. Hat is the real villain.
Hat, with Garrison nowhere around, is revealed to have constructed all of the events in the game for some reason.

  • Jossed. Mr. Garrison can be found in the community center, and Mr. Hat can be found up Mr. Slave's ass.
    • Eww.

There will be a side-quest where you can strengthen or weaken Stan's relationship with Wendy.
The show doesn't really pay that much attention to their relationship, and in some recent RPGs, you can change relationships however you please. Maybe they'll add this into the game to try out that kind of thing.
  • Jossed. No such thing occurs.

Princess Kenny will have Magical Girl-like powers in the game
Especially given the events of "A Song of Ass and Fire"
  • Sort of. Although Kenny still has the Zelda-like appearance and the ridiculous theme music, his powers are more along the theme of Friend to All Living Things, summoning his "animal friends" to attack.
  • He does gain a Rainbow Beam as the final boss, having gone through the anime sequence from the Black Friday trilogy.

The Black Friday trilogy is the prequel to this game
The reason why the Stick was originally created was to prevent another war like it from happening again.
  • Semi-confirmed. The trilogy is indeed the prequel to the game, but the Stick is just a Plot Coupon for their new LARP game.

The New Kid is or was a protected witness to a particularly nasty crime.
His/Her parents seem to be walking on eggshells around their child in the opening, and it could be a justification for his/her Heroic Mime status. Knowing the weird sort of things going on, it could be something like a gang murder or the like.
  • It may be something insignificant being blown way out proportion. You have to remember, this is the South Park universe: one of the episodes had a bunch of rich white dumb assholes with Mahalo Rewards Cards who referred to themselves as Hawaiian natives just because they either moved there or they owned freaking timeshares.
    • Nope. If they were, his big secret was his ability to make Facebook friends really quickly.

Possible summons
  • All the Super Best Friends (except perhaps Muhammad). Past previews have confirmed Jesus (armed with an assault rifle) and Moses, so there's a possibility that we could also see Buddha, Krishna, Lao Tse, Joseph Smith and Sea-Man get used in battle.
    • They can add Muhammad, censored. His power is censoring the player's character which makes him invulnerable to enemy attacks for a few turns.
    • Jossed. Jesus is the only one who makes an appearance. Although Sea-Man is very briefly mentioned.
      • Moses appears as the highly upgraded form of the Whirling Doom.

The New Kid will deconstruct Heroic Mime trope.
  • In the trailer and the first 13 minute video, the dad is shown to be annoyed by his silence. And later on, one of the kids playing the elves thinks "He's hot shit or something". Eventually, the main boys will probably even call the kid out, believing that he's better than them just because he doesn't talk.

The New Kid moved because he farted on someone's balls.
  • Given the show's nature, this wouldn't surprise me.
  • Jossed. The government is after him because of his ability to instantly make friends on Facebook and wants to somehow use it as a weapon.
    • Semi-Jossed. He gets to fart on Kenny's balls later at the end of the final boss battle with Kenny. Farting on Kenny's balls returns everyone to normal.

A sequel will involve the boys playing something else
Except you have to make a new character since your old one "screwed those guys and went home."
  • The boys will be playing their "Coon and Friends" personas and antagonists will include Professor Chaos, the DP oil company, and Cthulu.
  • Or possibly they cave and do a sci-fi LARP, with Kenny as The Lizard Queen or something, and ample chances to parody things like Mass Effect, Metal Gear, Start Wars, Star Trek etc.
    • Kevin Stoley will finally LARP in a fantasy themed costume when they do this.
    • While the kids lampshade his lateness with quotes like "Damn it Kevin, that style's too old.".
    • Cartman as the Darth Sidious-based evil space emperor and Kevin Stoley as a buddy for some reason.
  • The New Kid from the first game comes back after things get crazy, and helps the player gain more friends using their extreme popularity, to fight that game's Big Bad.
  • A Steampunk setting where they poke fun of the cliches of the genre.
  • One of the things they mentioned in the end of the game, for foreshadowing.
  • A general South Park setting, where you can choose a class for yourself and each buddy and have it affect their abilities and stats. For example, Kenny can be his usual self, Princess Kenny (with his abilities from this game), or Mysterion (with Combat Pragmatist abilities).

DLC Packs will focus on the other "factions" of South Park
During the game, the Goths and Girls were mentioned as separate factions from Kupa Keep and the Drow Elves, and Stan mentions recruiting "The Pirates" (i.e. the kindergartners following Ike) and "The Federation" (i.e. Kevin Stoley role-playing as Spock). Assuming each faction gets their own DLC pack, it'll probably go like this:
  • The Goths: A Dark Fantasy spoof of franchises like Dragon Age and Dark Souls. The plot will have the Goths throwing down with the Vamp Kids (potentially lampshading how the original game doesn't highlight their old rivalries when the Vamp-Kids join Clyde's army of darkness). Other parts of the DLC may include seeing the kingdoms of the Underpants Gnomes and Crab People (which were What Could Have Been in the THQ version of the game), and even a detour to South Park's version of Hell.
  • The Girls: A Sugar Bowl fantasy, possibly in Imaginationland. Expect the girliness of Princess Kenny and the Camp Gay-ness of Mr. Slave to be taken Up to Eleven just for starters. Assuming the DLC is in Imaginationland, the plot will pit the good and evil sides of Imaginationland against each other.
  • The Pirates: A Wind Waker style RPG of sailing and island hopping. Expect pirates ranging wildly from the stereotypical swashbuckling era contrasted by Somalian Pirates with Ak-47s and RPGs (the OTHER kind of RPG!)
  • The Federation: A Sci-Fi LARP spoofing Mass Effect and Knights of the Old Republic, among other sci-fi works. See the "A sequel will involve the boys playing something else" WMG for more details.

A sequel or future DLC quest will star a female protagonist
She'll be almost entirely identical, but all "magic" will be queef-based.
  • There'll be a choice where you side with the boys, or the girls. The boys want her because of her breasts like in Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society and the girls want her because they don't want her to be a stupid spoiled whore.
  • That, or she'd be a Canadian companion that replaces Cartman or some of the other boys.
    • Like Terrance's daughter Sally. (For those who don't know what I'm talking about, watch Not Without my Anus)

The reason for New Kid's single line being "Screw you guys, I am going home." isn't because he didn't want to play anymore, but because his mind wasn't on it anymore.

He had just learned that his true name is Dovahkiin, that he had billions of Facebook friends once, and that his family had moved in running away from the government, so being the Only Sane Man, he was thinking on the implications of that, so he went home to question his parents on that, and to do some actual research, which is why he is cool with everyone the following day, things were a bit more sorted out, and he wanted to play with them again.

Chef was resurrected when Douchebag farted on Kenny's balls
Everyone else who was zombified was, so why not?
  • Though, we only see "live" zombies resurrected, not defeated ones.

Douchebag's parents are Cthulhu cult members
  • Douchebag was squashed by his dad's testicles at the end of the Underpants Gnomes level. He wakes up in his bed the next day. Does that sound familiar?
  • He also wakes up in his bed after surviving the UFO crash. It may be that he only revives if he dies at night though.

Douchebag is Dutch or of Dutch descent
Because the description for the Old Dutch Beard item says it's of the "Old Country."

Before the game began, everyone decided that the final boss fight would be Kenny.
To provide more realism to the LARP. He's the one person that could be actually killed by the good guys without actually dying, so he agreed to be the final villain and let them kill him at the end.

The Prince/King of Canada is being possessed by Saddam Hussein
It would explain his weird behavior, like wanting to kill a Bishop for no reason and promising something but not keeping his promise. However, Saddam got wiser from his last two attempts to take it over; while he still acts crazy and random, he no longer is trying to do random and crazy things throughout all of Canada, because otherwise it might give it away. When Saddam Hussein completely possesses the Prince of Canada, he will try to take over the world!

And Future DLC will have you stopping him with Terrance and Philip's help.

Barbarian armour is not Canadian.
Rather, it is an import from Denmark, the Canada of Europe.

There will be a DLC pack featuring the characters' alter-egos
From the Coon episodes. All the playable characters will become their Coon and Friends alter egos, and may have altered special attacks.
  • Cartman will be the Coon, Kenny will be Mysterion, Stan will be Toolshed, Kyle will be Human Kite, and Butters will be Professor Chaos.
  • Jimmy will have a new identity created for the pack, or will be replaced by Clyde as Mosquito for the pack.
  • Douchebag will be able to choose from different superhero costume pieces for equipment and weapons.
    • There will be a set of equipment based on Captain Hindsight and the non-playable heroes from Coon and Friends (Mint-Berry Crunch, Mosquito, Tupperwear and Iron Maiden).
  • The Cult of Cthulhu will be the major enemies, with Cthulhu himself as the last boss fight.

Douchebag is the human incarnation of Stan's Facebook account.
In the show, Stan once had nearly a million Facebook friends after just a short amount of time with no effort. (A few days or maybe a week at most.) When he tried to delete his account, he found that it had become sentient and wouldn't let him. Eventually, he did manage to reset it by beating it at Yahtzee.

After a while, however, it managed to re-create itself and gain over 3.2 billion friends. At some point during this, it became powerful enough to gain a physical form as Douchebag and somehow tricked Douchebag's parents into thinking it was their son. Alternatively, Douchebag is possessed by or has merged with Stan's old Facebook account. In any case, this is where his ability to make an incredible number of friends on any social network came from.

Hitler himself was affected by the Nazi Zombie goo.
However, when he touched the goo, his transformation was incomplete and allowed him to retain his sentience and skin color.
Soul SeriesWMG/Video GamesSpace Channel 5

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