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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Seltzer and Friedberg
Seltzer and Friedberg are just aliases for a really good writer/director showing how easy it is to manipulate Hollywood.
I don't know which one, but after years of making really really good movies and making money every time, he started to wonder if he even had to make good movies so instead just made really bad ones showing that the film business isn't actually about films.
  • Maybe it's Stanley Kubrick, since Seltzer and Friedberg started making movies around the time that Kubrick supposedly "died".

The films are all part of the Joker's newest "Social Experiment."
This time, he's trying to prove that viewers really are morons only deserving of mockery and destruction. He's even more successful this time around.

The films are all part of Dogbert's latest social experiment.

Seltzer and Friedberg don't exist and are just a Moustache de Plume for Carmen Electra.
Why else would she appear in all these movies?
  • They made DVD Commentary. Voices should be proof enough that they exist.
    • Random hobos plucked from the street and thrown into a recording studio. Electra was probably feeding 'Seltzer' and 'Friedberg' lines through autocue.
  • Apparently she's not appearing in Vampires Suck. Jossed?
    • She's on to us!

Seltzer and Freidberg are just an AI program.
And it's been instructed to make the worst possible comedies. It keeps doing it because it hasn't quite succeeded yet.

Seltzer and Friedberg are one thousand monkeys with one thousand typewriters.
Anything even slightly coherent that they produce is put into a script and turned into a movie.

Seltzer and Friedberg are trying, and failing, to pull a Springtime for Hitler.
They juuust squeak evading illegality each time, and they are doggedly determined to make it big off of a flop. Unfortunately, the viewing public persists in viewing them non-flops.

Seltzer and Friedberg don't exist in this dimension.
All the movies are from an alternate dimension with a really bad sense of humor. They're the #1 movies of all time there. All four of them. And Carmen Electra is an AAAAA-list celebrity. The execs accidentally found a portal to that dimension and have started bringing over the movies because it's still cheaper than making their own.
  • Logically flawed, actually: in order for these pseudo-comedic atrocities to exist in another universe, the films that they "parody" would have to exist in this universe too - and since quite literally all of these films are better in every sense of the word, S&F's could not logically be the #1 movies there.
    • Double Logic Flaw: The films also exist in the alternate universe; however, the versions there they are either of a much lower quality, or they're regarded as flops by the alternate universe's audiences. This almost, but not quite, actually makes Seltzer and Friedberg legitimate comedians in the alternate universe.
    • More likely, the portal works both ways. They see our films from this dimension, and decide to rip them off in their dimension, and we take them and release them in our dimension. It's a vicious cycle.
      • Sending from our dimension is much more difficult than getting from their dimension (like a satellite internet connection, it is faster one way). They can generally only send a minute or two at a time at most, hence why it mostly parodies the trailers; the trailers are all that they see.
  • Alternative theory: They come from a universe with a Bizarro Universe opinion of entertainment. They consider Citizen Kane to be the worst movie of all time, and The Garbage Pail Kids movie to be the perfect masterpiece.

Seltzer and Friedberg are incredibly successful Trolls.
They know their films are terrible, and they're making them just to annoy you.
  • Or they're actually good directors, but intentionally make horrible films to troll people.

The films are all The Forresters' new plan for dominating the human race.
By making these movies, they're testing to see if the worst movie ever made will be bypassed, making a conquest of Earth easier.
  • So, we need to make more wisecracking robots?
    • Yes.
    • Why weren't we making wisecracking robots in the first place?
      • Because most of us are more like Mike (the character) than like Joel.
  • I don't know... There were a few times that even Clay Forrester and TV's Frank were shocked and disgusted with the films they showed to Joel, Mike and the 'Bots. (Remember their reactions to The Castle Of Fu Manchu, "Manos" The Hands of Fate and Red Zone Cuba?) Maybe it's Dr. Erhardt getting his revenge for being so easily forgotten by everyone else. (Don't tell me Erhardt can't be behind this because was eaten by a giant spider; that's just what he wants you to think!)

Seltzer and Friedberg are a front for Uwe Boll.
This is where he gets enough money to do what he loves - making crappy video game movies.
  • Naah, even Boll knows better to work with these two "directors". Addendum: That would be an insult to Mr. Boll.

Seltzer and Friedberg are imperfect clones of Uwe Boll.
Due to their corrupted and degraded nature, it is possible that they are capable of making even worse movie than Boll himself (some of Boll's are good for riffing on; the movies Seltzer and Friedberg make are just painful). Realizing this, Boll released them into society rather than have to deal with them.

Seltzer and Friedberg are super-serious performance artists.
Their movies are elaborate pranks to make a statement on how low the standards for art have become.
  • Also, "Seltzer and Friedberg" are just aliases, so they (he? she?) can do serious work without being tainted by bad reputation.

Seltzer and Friedberg are obsessive crossover fans.
Their films are just excuses to have Intercontinuity Crossovers between as many films as possible, with a few token elements of "humor" so they can pass them off as parodies, thereby preventing themselves from being the victims of the biggest trademark infringement suit possible.

Seltzer and Friedberg are employees of Ralph Bighead, who is still anxiously trying to get out of his contract.
To his chagrin, however, it's "Wacky Deli" all over again. He may have gotten out of the contract with Disaster Movie, though.
  • Or perhaps not, they're coming back with Vampires Suck.

Seltzer and Friedberg are just trying to simulate, or create their own, Grand Unifying Guesses.
However, Viewers Are Morons, so instead of putting more TV Tropes-style Mind Screw, they do it using "humor".

Seltzer and Friedberg and their movies are all part of the Daleks' failed masterplan.
The Daleks saw the popularity of films in human society, so they created two androids disguised as film directors(thus explaining why we know next to nothing about them) and dangerous weapons disguised as their movies that destroys human mentality and intelligence, making the planet easier to conquer. However, the Doctor saw it through and stopped them at the last minute, making the movies less lethal than originally, but still didn't have the power to actually stop the movies from spreading.

This also supported by many other facts: Due to their lack of imagination and reliance on logic, the Daleks lack the necesarry deeper cultural understanding of film in general and how comedy works. Daleks' research on films only limited to objective facts, such as how references to popular movies and comedies are considered a positive trait and attracts audiences, which is why the film is chocked full of references. The reason the films are unintelligent is due to Daleks' superiority complex, believing humans to be far more stupid than they are. Daleks' are also proven to be very skilled in android technology.
  • This must be what was used to stupify people in the 2001st century by the Dalek Emperor.

These movies will eventually be Vindicated by History by some horribly warped people.
Following examples on how:
  • One day, a bunch of hipsters will rediscover these movies and consider them nostalgic pieces of the Noughties. Thus, they'll become cult classics.
  • Thirty years from now, some art critics dig up the films and consider them forms of extreme modern art. And the complete anonymity of Seltzerberger would automatically lead to a Dead Artists Are Better mentality.
    • Alternatively, they're labelled as post-modernist satires of the shallowness of pop culture.

Seltzer and Friedberg are irrefutable proof that God not only exists, but has a sense of humor.
No.

Vampires Suck is going to be mediocre-okay.
Maybe they've learned and done their search.
  • Sadly, no. It has a 3% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with only one Fresh review. They haven't learned very much.
    • Most people who have seen it have at least said that it's better than their past work (not that it's saying much).

These parodies will eventually devour themselves.
When Seltzer and Friedberg finally run out of ideas, they'll just make "Movie Movie" which will parody their own stupid parodies. And every person on the planet with die a little inside. Coming the summer after that: "Movie Movie Movie".

Seltzer and Friedberg created Encyclopedia Dramatica.
It's certainly in their style.
  • No, no, no; you've got it the wrong way around! All the malevolent hatred generated by people who took the Stealth Parody seriously retroactively gained physical form as Seltzerberger! It's true! They're on to me! Tell the people before mdfndeufba;idfvksvxissdf bmn

Vampires Suck was a plot by Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment to discredit parodies of Twilight.
They knew that these guys couldn't even make a funny parody of Twilight, so they hired them to make the movie, preventing anyone else from making a funny vampire movie.

They disliked the end result, which is considered fairly decent, and have dedicated their lives to making sure nobody enjoys it ever again.

The Film Production process has degraded into a series of parties.
They just stopped caring, and now, instead of making a film, they just buy a bunch of props, sets and costumes, invite all their friends over and just do whatever the hell they feel like. If this was in fact the case, and they were honest about it, the films would actually be more enjoyable.

For every genuinely funny moment in one of their films, they shoot someone.
This is why you may see at least one genuinely funny moment per film (but not often a Crowning Moment of Funny). The writers WANT to do a good job, but don't want to get shot.

"Seltzer and Friedberg" is actually the pen name of Yuuki Terumi.
Terumi's sustained by hatred, and in order to stay at full strength he needs to be hated by as many people as possible. Millions of people go to the movies. Therefore, if he makes the worst movies possible, he'll be hated by millions of people.

The films are all part of the The Joker and Dogbert's latest social experiment.
They realized they were essentially conducting the same experiment and joined forces. The Joker is Seltzer and Dogbert is Friedberg. Now all we have to do is wait for one or both to betray the other, and the franchise will Jump the Shark. (Can it do that?)

All of their movies are elaborate satires.
Think about it; it should not be possible for movies these bad to be made under the impression that it's a good idea to make them. Instead, Seltzer and Friedberg know, in fact, that they're making horrible movies. However, in reality, the movies they make are intended to be absolute crap, because their movies, in reality, are all parodies of the all the other low-budget, low-brow, lowest-common-denominator "comedies". For example, the "Head-On" joke from Disaster Movie could be interpreted as, yes, they can do comedy, but they choose to go for the more subtle route. However, failure takes effect, causing their movies not to come out as brilliant satires of how low the standards have come to be in Hollywood, but just shit.

Seltzer and Friedberg are fanmake writers.
Think about it. They use jokes from other better forms of media, their plots aren't original or creative in any way, they treat their audience like morons by always pointing things out, loads of characters pop out of nowhere, and they parody movies that are parodies themselves.
  • Whoa now, do you need to insult the fanmake writers like that? As horrible as most fanmake writers are, even they have some (very low, screwed up) standards. ...That said, I do see your point. Perhaps Seltzer and Friedberg started off writing really crappy fanfiction that would make even Tara Gillesbie retch in disgust before they moved on to making actual movies.

Seltzer and Friedberg fail at parody because they have no idea what parody is.
It makes so much sense— the reason for the Shallow Parody is not because they're terrible writers, but because they literally cannot comprehend what parody is.
  • If that's the case, then the previous WMG about them being fanmake writers actually holds some water since 90% of the people who write fanmakes can't seem to comprehend what a parody is either.

Seltzer and Friedberg don't make profit from the actual customers - they make profit from advertising rights for all the films they "parody".
As The Nostalgia Critic pointed out on his "Is Parody Dead?" Editorial, the point of Seltzer and Friedberg (and other "Movie Movie" directors, like the Wayans Brothers) jamming in as many pop-culture references as possible in their films is to sucker in people who think they're going to actually watch a decent parody of a film they like, and that the more films and pop-culture icons are parodied, the more suckers will think there's some parody they'll like in the film. Then, when they see just how God-awfully bad the Seltzer and Friedberg films are, they'll naturally run out to buy tickets for all the movies it parodies in order to scrub all the memories of the bad film they watched out of their heads. The fact Seltzer and Friedberg can jam in as many so-called parodies without running across a Frivolous Lawsuit or ten is not because nobody in Hollywood thinks they're below them, but are actually collaborating with them in order to pull the most elaborate Springtime for Hitler ever devised: not just making sure the Seltzer and Friedberg suck balls, but also that all the movies it "parodies" get more advertisement and profit because they're infinitely better (or at least suck less) than the Seltzer and Friedberg films.
Seltzer and Friedberg were inspired by Mightily Murdered Power Ringers
Both the comic and their movies feature weak attempts at satire with an occasional funny joke, a tone that implies the audiences are stupid, mean-spirited and gory violence, and bizzare and idiotic Product Placement. It has to be more than mere coincidence.
Dan SchneiderWMG/PeopleCharlie Sheen

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