This person is a Time Lord.This one is a bit more justifiable than some of the other ones. It answers a couple of the key questions about Santa. First, how can he visit every house in the world in one night? He's a time traveler. How can he fit billions of gifts into his sleigh? The sleigh is his TARDIS. How does he fit down chimneys? I'm gonna go with some sort of sonic technology. Flying reindeer? Part of the TARDIS (his chameleon circuit is pretty sophisticated). Okay, I need to stop watching Doctor Who and reading the WMG pages.
Santa is Chronos.Santa Chronos uses his power of time control in order to stop time at exactly 12:00 midnight. Then he borrows Apollo's chariot and delivers presents over the course of several years.
He's the Doctor
Santa is secretly a Corrupt Corporate Executive.He's the primary agent of commercialization in Christmas. He locates his base of operations at the North Pole, where he can get cheap elf labor and evade taxes. It is unknown how he supplies his factories, and he has most of the children in the Western world begging him to visit their houses. This positively screams Villain with Good Publicity. In fact, he's probably an incarnation of Satan. Look at that name.
Santa Claus is Satan's good twin.He's based off SAINT Nick. Nick is a name used on occasion for Satan. Therefore, Santa is Satan's good twin.
Santa deals in insider trading.He has a lot of resources that come from nowhere, but no visible form of income. He obviously plays the stock market or invests in some other way. However, a depression functions as nothing more than a minor setback for him rather than wiping him out entirely (and individual corporations going under has no effect on his income), so it stands to reason that he is somehow able to anticipate a market crash and sell off all his assets before it happens. He does this by exploiting his ability to see how people act to get inside information on various corporations, and sells off his stock before they fail.
Santa is at war with Atnas.Atnas is Santa's opposite, a righteous exponent of asceticism living at the South Pole. She has been attempting to combat the commercialization of the holiday season and restore the former multi-religious overtones of the winter solstice, with little success; her main plan is conspicuously failing to give anybody presents, which is not exactly a raging PR success, since nobody even notices. It is believed that she is currently training tap-dancing penguins to convert the masses.
We are foils in Santa's purgatory.In life, he was the epitome of greed, and is now forced to work it off through generosity. He has been at it for decades, either due to the sheer volume of avarice to counter, or simply because he hasn't worked any off yet. (I mean, have you gotten anything from him?)
Santa is a victim of Adaptation Decay.The real St. Nicholas is renowned for his generosity and kindness to those less fortunate; one of his most famous miracles was to turn three brass balls into three sacks of gold to prevent a father from turning his daughters to prostitution to make ends meet. While the tales of his generosity and gift-giving survived, the meanings behind them grew twisted as the general human population grew to embrace material wealth above faith and morality, hence why most of his exploits other than his giving out gifts to people are no longer remembered. The elves, reindeer, North Pole workshop, etc. are just things thrown in by Corrupt Corporate Executives to make him more appealing to the materialistic populace, after they realized he is a salable commodity.
Santa is actually an evil warlord bent on conquering the world.These two Dragon-Tails comics say it all.
There is not one Santa, but an army of clonesSanta is actually thousands clones, which explains how he can deliver toys worldwide at the same time. The original Santa (St Nicholas?) has been taken apart and each cell turned into a clone. Santa clones rest as Human Popsicles under the snow and are thawed on Christmas eve. Also, the elves are actually robots powered by coal. Excess coal is given away to those undeserving of presents.
Santa is trying to get his hands on a Death NoteHe's the entity best suited to using it. To kill someone, he requires a name and a face. and as everyone knows, he sees you when you're sleeping. He's also prepared. He's making a list...
Chiyo's Dad really is SantaAnd by extension, everything he claimed about himself if true, he is actually paid by the government and flies at Mach 100.
Santa is a quantum particle.He's in an improbably large number of different places at the same time, but actually looking for him collapses the wave function and he isn't there.
Santa really does give gifts to all the good children, but there are very few of them.Christianity (for some value of Christianity) holds that there will be a total of 144000 good people during the 3000 years between the comings of Jesus. This works out to 48 born per year, and about 480 in the 5-15 range that receives presents. Since some of those good people were naughty as children and repented later, the number of good children is smaller. It isn't really that much of a burden to do the deliveries.
Santa is Jesus.It would make sense of the weird transportation - if he can walk on water and transmute matter, flying reindeer should be trivial. He's already omniscient, so he does see you when you're sleeping, and the whole present thing is just his way of celebrating his own birthday.
Santa is real, but not what he's cracked up to be.Santa Claus is a factual entity, immortal and of unclear origin. However, there's very little proof of this to the modern world. Despite the promise of good presents for every girl and boy, that's unrealistic. Instead, he anonymously donates Christmas gifts to toy shelters. He gets the money to buy and produce the toys via various small hidden licensing fees most companies don't realize they're paying whenever they use his image every December. The actual amount taken from each company is small, but enough to distribute a sizable amount to giving a small number of needy children toys every year. Most of the other fantastic stuff such as flying around the world on reindeer or having an army of elves is embellishment since he got started.
Santa is a NINJA!!Ninjas cannot be seen. Santa is never seen. Ninjas are quiet, lending itself to the stealthiness needed for present distribution. How quiet can a fat man going down a chimney be?
Santa used to be Satan.Old Nick became Saint Nick after his Heel-Face Turn. Before that, "Old Nick" was just Nick, no modifier.
Santa is a wizard from Harry Potter.The thing that made me think of this is because he travels via chimney, which is similar to the Floo powder used in the Harry Potter books. Also, his ability to go to all those places in one night could be explained by use of a Time-Turner, and his flying reindeer could be a magical species that only wizards know about.
Santa is an the slave of his elves.Santa was once human (St. nick) but was kidnapped by elves. Elves, according to mythology are both good and evil at the same time and their wish is to kidnap human children a they can't reproduce. This is hard to do however as elves can't go about during the day and can't enter human dwellings.... But they can enter a home if they are invited or if the humans have something of theirs. This is how they manage to steal human children. The children invite Snta into the house, even give him offerings and Santa leaves a "gift" Santa can enter the house because he is a human (or was once) This means that the elves can enter your home whenever they like and steal your kids because they are invited and you have their stuff
Santa is actually Sauron.Think about it. Sauron once claimed to be "Annatar, Lord of Gifts." Both Santa and "Annatar" are on good terms with the Elves, and both Santa and "Annatar" give you what you desire with no obvious strings attached. On a related note, if Santa is indeed Sauron, this means Melkor has broken the Door of Night and revived his greatest followers, which means Dagor Dagorath is right around the corner.
Santa is the head of Kringle, Inc.The first Christoper Kringle began Kringle Incorporated over 4000 years ago (he had great foresight when it came to the stock market). Four millenia of business has allowed Kringle Inc. to become a super-conglomorate mega-corporation that doesn't actually produce toys; it's actually the owner of all other toy companies on Earth. However, in order to create the illusion of capitalism, generations upon generations of Kringle (all named Chris) have been forced to keep the head company a secret. As for the elves they supposedly employ, they simply head all the toy companies Kringle Inc. controls (Hasbro, Bandai, Toynami, etc.), rotating shifts every few decades to create the illusion of death, take some time off, and create new personas for their next shift.
Santa is T Vtropes.Makes as much sense as anything else on WMG.
Every single Christian father works with Santa.That's what my dad told me, anyway.
Santa is Odin and St. Nick fused togetherLong ago there was a battle between the forces of good and evil. Odin and St. Nick teamed up to take them on, but proved ineffective separately. So they fused together, and Santa Claus was the result.
Santa is SatanHe is decieving the world with those presents, but in reality those cakes are lies.
Santa is The FlashThe red suit, and it explains how he gets around the world so fast.
Santa is white aligned, and quite into itSanta came from one of the planes of the MGT universe and is applying the philosophy of the colour he is aligned with to this world. Problem is, he is quite in the extremes of the colour; White clearly values society over the individual, and as such Santa is trying to make us all single minded, giving us presents and promoting a belief in him. Meanwhile, White's worst traits are being authoritarian and dogmatic, to the point of xenophobia and ruthlessness; Santa perceives kids who don't conform to his image of "nice" (Black and Red in personality) as a cancer to his perfect society, and actively eliminates them in secret. With time, his constant culling with result in a peceful society...where no one has the smallest piece of individuality. Possible alternative alignments are Green/White (sharing the extremism in favor of lack of individuality) and/or Red/White (the colour motiff probably lampshading this).
Santa currently works as a pimp.Ho! Ho! Ho!
Santa Claus delivers toys to every child on earth who lives in a Christmas-celebrating family, including the ones that believe an old woman or Jack Frost bring the gifts, whom he assists.It's just that your parents (yours specifically) are horrible, horrible people who re-label some of the gifts and all of the coal you get from him, sell some to fund their bribing of other people to keep you in the dark, have your housekeeper brownie spend all his time on being an Orwellian Editor to eliminate any proof of Santa on the sites you visit, and have been keeping you in a dark, Santa-less world For the Evulz.
NORAD tracks Santa, and every year in December they set up a comm line with him.Big Boss said so, it must be true!
Santa only lives Christmas Eves, and does not exprience days in between.After he took up the mantle, he struck a deal with a cosmic supervisor. So instead of living hundreds of years after becoming Santa, he's lived a much more bearable hundreds of days, only existing on Christmas Eve and skipping the year in between.
Santa is a Green LanternHe was originally green instead of Red, he just changed it to look friendlier. That's how the gifts are made so easily, of course his power ring can do more than just green things.
There is a Santa for every country.Or at least, every country where Christmas is celebrated on a fairly large scale. If not, then the Santa from the neighboring country takes over. The guy at the North Pole? He's the head honcho, and takes care of most of the manufacturing and the special cases, orphans and other such people.
Santa funds himself via sponsorships.Clearly, running his business must be quite expensive for Santa (maintaining his workshop at the North Pole, paying and housing all the elves, buying the raw materials for countless toys and letting them be delivered to the North Pole, tending the reindeers...), so who are his financial backers? The answer: Ever noticed how many brands use Santa as their spokesperson in their Christmas advertising? You may think, this is because he is a Public Domain Character, but no! They pay him for endorsing their products, just like they do this with other famous, although less supernatural people, like actors, athletes, ect. (Santa's main sponsor is of course the Coca Cola company, they having a fruitful business relationship with him for almost 80 years now.)
Santa is a Space Alien.With reindeer powered by Ion Propulsion, as explained in excruciating detail by this video.
Santa is either not real or dead.The only evidence I need is I stayed up all Christmas Eve and did not see one sign of him, bitches. And this can only mean he is now Zanta Claws.
Star of Bethlehem was the photic boom from the sleigh going faster than light.150,000 B.C., there were only 100 Humans. Santa was Uncle Nick, in a red suit, creeping around the village. As the Human population grew, Santa had to use magic transport to complete his mission in time. Now, there are about 2,000 M children, Santa goes faster than c. Sonic boom happens when a plane goes faster than the speed of sound, therefore, when the sleigh exceded c, it left a photic boom
Santa is a pedophile.These facts say it all:
Santa is the Hive Mind of all parents of Christmas-celebrating families.They only merge on Christmas Eve, natch.
Santa is Gabe Newell.The figures are about right, and they're both pretty generous. Too bad Episode 3 is delayed once more.
Yes Virginia.There is a Santa Claus. Oh, come on! Someone had to do it!
Santa can deliver all his presents in one night because ...... red wuns go fasta. Enforced by all the children who believe in him.
Old gods do new jobs.]] Santa Claus is a god whose origins are based around the winter solstice and the return of the sun. He's taken up the job of delivering presents to good children on Christmas Eve because he needs the belief.
Santa is a vampire.He comes only at night, he only enters your house in the one night when he is invited and he [[Twilight watches you when you sleep.]]
Santa and the elves have a crappy work ethic.They always get the job done on time but they're always shown hard at work in December trying to get ready for Christmas, when you'd think they would already have a big backlog of toys and only really have to worry about packing.
Santa Claus isn't real - he's really your parents buying the toys and putting them under the tree.No, never mind. That would be just silly!
Santa delivers one present per child per year...If they deserve it, of course. These are also the presents that the child most needs that Christmas (something smaller and symbolic rather than something expensive). Parents assume that some other relative or friend got the present for their child, explaining why (most) adults don't believe in Santa. Also, kids who are already receiving lots of presents one year might be skipped over in favor of children who have less, explaing how Santa can reach everyone in one night.
Sants Claus is Acrofatic.
Santa is a Cyborg.When the population increased, Santa's body was unable to keep up with the number of good and bad boys. To fix this, Santa replaced most, if not all of his body with state-of-the art cybernetics. For example, his arm was replaced by a candy cane prosthetic limb(candy cane because Rule of Fun.) Other technology included an artificial digestive system to eat all those cookies and milk, and a brain enhanced with a computer chip so that he can decided who's naughty and nice in a single day.
Santa used to be slim and trim, but got fat when he started delivering presents in AmericaThe European versions of Santa always look pretty fit; and get things like carrots in exchange for gifts. When Santa decided to deliver gifts to the Americans, that obese culture started forcing things like cookies and coca-cola on him, and now he's a bloated diabetic.
Santa Claus is OdinPrior to Christianization, the Germanic peoples (including the English; Old English geola or guili) celebrated a midwinter event called Yule. With the Christianization of Germanic Europe, numerous traditions were absorbed from Yuletide celebrations into modern Christmas. During this period, supernatural and ghostly occurrences were said to increase in frequency, such as the Wild Hunt, a ghostly procession through the sky. The leader of the wild hunt is frequently attested as the god Odin and he bears the Old Norse names Jólnir, meaning "yule figure" and the name Langbarđr, meaning "long-beard".
Santa doesn't live at the North Pole anymore.Santa always has his workshop someplace relatively close to human habitation but beyond where human explorers have made it, to ensure privacy. At the time Thomas Nast was drawing his cartoons in the late 1800s, this was the North Pole, so Nast showed Santa as living there. After the North Pole was explored and mapped in the early 1900s, though, Santa moved elsewhere. In the 1960s, the workshop was on the moon, but then he was seen by the Apollo 8 astronauts and realized humans could now reach the moon, so he moved somewhere even farther away, maybe Mars. It is unknown if Santa moved directly from the North Pole to the moon or if there were interim workshop locations in the first half of the 20th century. (At the South Pole, on top of Mount Everest, etc.)
Santa is Jesus' response to Christian extremism.Whether God Is Evil or not, there's no denying the fact that Jesus Was Way Cool and somebody to look up to. Being a symbol of hope and love, one could imagine how annoyed old Yeshua would've been when he found out that certain people were turning him into a symbol of war and/or intolerance. Jesus was sick of this, and instead of kicking their assess found a way to discredit them: create a symbol representing his core principles(charity, loving thy neighbour, ect) that could branch out to any and every belief. "Naughty or nice" is an easy and universal type of morality that doesn't have any bias, which is something Jesus majorly wanted to avoid. Santa is either Saint Nicholas made into a supernatural entity by Jesus, or The Lamb Himself using his Jesus powers to avoid capture. As for being fat and jolly, that's because Jesus/Saint Nick doesn't want to disrespect kids by not having those cookies given to him. Ironically the very people who want to put the "Christ" back in Christmas are missing the point entirely, and Jesus is disappoint.
Santa is dead! Father Christmas(Embodiment of Christmas) is the real gift giver at Christmas.Why do you think the parents and others seem to be the ones actually giving away presents? Father Christmas uses the parents and others to give presents for him. As for Santa his bones are buried in Bari and have been examined by proffesionals so he is outright confirmed to be dead.
Santa Claus has a Persona, and he gives out gifts during the Dark Hour, which is why no one sees him and also why he can travel the world in one night.His Persona gives him immortality.
Santa Claus is an egregoreAccording to the egregore theory, something or someone becomes real if enough people believe in. Given the millions of children who do, Santa must exist, but not as pictured and not in physical form, rather as Christmas Spirit personification. It could explain why the ghost of Christmas present look so much like him.
Santa Claus is real.