Kingdom of Loathing
Ascension is a scam perpetuated by the Council of Loathing and the Naughty Sorceress working together.Once you beat the Naughty Sorceress and free King Ralph; the Council will no longer be in power (something they comment on.) You are then pushed to "ascend" which results in the Reset Button being pushed. Sure, you may have some extra power if you did the previous Ascension run at a high enough difficulty, but for a while the Council and the Naughty Sorceress are back in power.
There are four different political powers trying to control the players, with each having its own agenda in regards to the Naughty Sorceress and Ascension.There is of course the Naughty Sorceress the current controlling power in the world, that would rather you not get in the way of her plans. If you defeat her she would like you to ascend so she can put herself back into power. There is then the Council of Loathing, that desires the Naughty Sorceress to be defeated but don't want King Ralph to be set free, as without him or her they are now in power and happy. Should you go and free the King then they would like you to ascend so perhaps they can find a new chance to get back into power. Then of we have King Ralph that wants the players to set him free and NEVER come back (unless he gets trapped again). When he's in power there is no need for Adventurers and they only would disrupt his hold on power. Lastly there is the Penguin Mafia that tries to control as much of the meat economy as they can. Presently they like the players to not Ascend as it means that they are bringing more meat into the Kingdom. The more meat people have the more likely they are to spend it on extravagancies that they provide.
The Guild wants the Telescope Coupon on level 500 of the Basement of Fernswarthy's Tower.As opposed to that training manual you find. But hey, it literally costs millions of currency to get that, so finders keepers.
Every adventurer is some sort of experimental lizardman.Think about it for a moment. Missing fingers, for example. Entirely temporary— they just grow right back. Missing kidney also seems to wear off, but that might be a bug. Either way, we seem to have some sort of regenerative power. The obvious conclusion is that the Council has created a race of superpowerful lizardmen which they use as a workforce and as an organ farm— every rollover, they take out all of our organs. It's okay, we have a redundant set, and the other set grows back by next rollover. This may overlap with the "Ascension is a scam" theory, as it's a good way to keep the lizard people from getting bored.
All adventurers in the Kingdom are half-siblings.They all have the same archaeologist as a father, after all.
The Hermit is Frank Vivala, in cahoots with the NSThink about it. Frank Vivala disappeared through a temporal rift (alluded to as a possibility on the Ko L Wiki) and, finding another person who wanted to overthrow the King, formulated a plot. The "worthless" objects he accepts are really magical talismans which create horrible monsters, which the Scream Queen creates to cause havoc. By trading trinkets which increase monster power (and hence adventurer power) for items which help adventurers finish quests, he not only provides the Kingdom with a steady stream of monsters but avoids creating suspicion of the conspiracy.
The game takes place in the Dark Tower multiverseFrom what I know, the series ends with Roland ending up exactly where he started, but slightly better equipped for the events afterwards. Sound familiar?
Hodgman and his Lieutenants are all aspects of Nyarlathotep.Hodgman is clearly the epitome of insanity and all t/he/y requires to Back from the Dead is for the sewers to reflood; something clans want to happen. All the while, they read more and more of his Tome of Eldritch Lore and acquire his artifacts and becoming more and more Hobo.
In that case, the Slime Mother is Shub-Neggorath.A shapeless blobby thingie that spawns indescribable horrors who are so profane, they get their own damage type that bypasses normal elemental resistance? That sounds pretty Lovecraftian.
The True Holy MacGuffin is still out there, hidden in Seaside Town.Just because you accidentally burn down the wooden model of Seaside Town doesn't mean that is what was supposed to happen. Ed's MacGuffin that he was personally guarding and the one that his staff and map pointed to are two different things. You are "digging in the wrong place."
The ultimate prize for the new Nemesis Quest are a pair of Legendary Epic Pants.Your guild member says that the Legendary Epic Hat (what was the old reward for the old quest) isn't the artifact they were looking for. The basic outfit formula is generally Hat, Weapon, and Pants. You forge the Legendary Epic Weapon and get the Legendary Epic Hat as a reward, so the last reward will be Legendary Epic Pants, creating Legendary Epic Class outfits.
Your Adventurer causes the Naughty Sorceress to become Naughty.23. So you go back in time to the The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past, and you interrupt Fernswarthy's class on the Ethics of Magic. Now, the Naughty Sorceress is in the class. She spends the rest of the class daydreaming about that strange man/woman who stumbled in, so she doesn't learn how to use magic ethically, becoming the very threat that Adventurer was tasked with defeating, who accidentally created her in the first place.
The Kingdom is caught in a loose "Groundhog Day" Loop.There's some level of continuity, since it's acknowledged shortly before you reincarnate that the Naughty Sorceress has kidnapped King Ralph XI again rather than just plain kidnapped him, and that "it's a lot like the Naughty Sorceress had never been defeated", not to mention actual one-time events like, for example, the Grey Plague, but nobody ever mentions any of the stuff that happened in your past life - or one of your past lives, or all of your past lives - like, say, a war between the hippies and the frat boys of the Mysterious Island of Mystery. (Most quest events could plausibly happen more than once, particularly if you apply a bit of Fan Wank, but that's the one where it would be really egregious for nobody to bring it up.) Obviously not everything's reset, though; the Adventurer's class and therefore backstory usually changes, they arrive in the Kingdom already possessing at least one skill from a past life (in most cases), and so forth.
Renatus C. Bigg, Archaeologist Extraordinaire is trying to uncover Hidden Fun Stuff.He doesn't care who gets the artifacts, he just wants you to dig it all out. There's undead corpses of wyrms, bats, serpents, (who come to life if you put them back together, and even if you fight, they still escape plot-wise) and demonic relics that are being uncovered. It's just going to get worse.
KoL is suddenly and for no apparent reason a sequel to Dwarf Fortress.We're about to find the Hidden Fun Stuff. A major portion of it collapsed somehow (probably Dwarven Ingenuity) and Bigg's Dig goes through that part.
The Game Grid Arcade games are all parts of the timeline.Much like the Empty Agua de Vida Bottle, "playing" a game simply boots you into someone in the past/present/future's mind.
The Council lied; the Kingdom was always like this.When you beat the Naughty Sorceress, it is revealed that the monsters won't stop fighting until you leave in a permanent manner. However, you are told this by the Council, who may or may not be trusted.
Mr. Mination is not the Crimbomination.This◊ is what the Crimbomination looked like in 2009. There is no picture of him in Crimbo 2010 yet, but he is described as "...he's got two heads and his skin is green, but other than that, he's your basic executive-looking guy." He doesn't look like a former elf, and it seems that he has regrown the second head he had before The Spirit of Crimbo removed it from him. He also doesn't seem to act like the Leader of Crimbo (who is forced to give everything and receive nothing, as noted in '09). Mr. Mination is an impostor, and the real Crimbomination will appear by the 25th.
Vampire Hunter G is a a sneaky diabolist or a ghoul.Who somehow figured a way of consuming vampire hearts for his fix without the negative side effects. The fact that you can drink the leftover vampire blood with little issue is your crazy half-lizard genetics.
Helga San-Torakiri (From Lars the Cyberian) is the future Naughty sorceress.I just made this connection because she is the leader of a race of warrior women, and when we first see her, she is on a dais.
Every adventurer actually inhabits a separate universe.Hence why things one adventurer does doesn't affect every other adventurer in the Kingdom. One of the Crimbo documentaries implies this.
The Lunar Elves' physical bodies died; and we're seeing holographic/program copies.Hence the TRON refs. You're not really on the moon; you're in a computer simulation in that booth. As they were dying after the comet hit the moons; they downloaded their minds into a cloaked ship and sent it to Loathing. The radiation and monsters are program degradation. The 'transporter transponder' changes your body to be able to temporarily enter the simulation.
The Kingdom of Loathing is a touristic resort.An Adventurer Is You is their advertising slogan. You can go there and enjoy an RPG themed adventure. You create your character, and do the adventure proposed by the kigndom. The Kingdom is sustained through the sales of Mr. Accessory. The council, the Naughty Sorceress, King Ralph XI, and all character, and human or human-like enemies are actors, the monsters are tamed animals, and you can enjoy an extensive Lampshade Hanging, absurdist, parodic parade. And shout outs. LOTS of them. Once you complete the quest, you get the option to... Start again!
Loathing is filled with Places Of Power.Some creatures appear in zones that they are not native to. They are much weaker there than in their home. For example, the Booze Giant is not nearly as tough as the Giants in the castle, and the Frat boy in the Barroom Brawl is weaker than the one in the Orcish Frat House. But the most notable example were the Hobelves. The Hobelves in Hobopolis were as tough as anything else there, requiring Aftercore-level gear and strength to beat. The ones that crawled out of the sewer went down much easier, possibly easier than the Crimbco monsters. Outside of Hobopolis, Hoboes drop like flies.
The Traveling Trader travels in more ways than one.In the Seal Clubber Nemesis quest, you acquire Krakrox's Loincloth, which states that Krakrox was either a Seal Clubber himself, or at least similar enough to count. When you adventure as Krakrox in your ancestral memories, he uses a sword. A Seal Clubber can use a sword as a club, but only with a skill learned from the Traveling Trader. So, for Krakrox to have had this skill, the trader must actually be a Time-Traveling Trader.
The Trapzor is more important to the Kingdom than we are told.Most quests get progressively more important the higher level they are. However, in between stopping an immense evil from being unleashed upon the Nearby Plains and saving an entire Barony, you help out one, unimportant old man, the Leet Trapzor. He has access to Penguin Skins (when all penguins are intelligent mmafiosi) Hippo Skins (Hippos are rare and never fought) and Yak Skins (never referenced otherwise). He is the only known exporter aside from the Travelling Trader, who only appears intermittently. What if he is responsible for the Loathing Economy?
The Logic Behind the Elements.A quick look at why elements are weak to one another.
Avatar of Jarlsberg will have us fighting The Avatar of Boris. Avatar of Sneaky Pete will have us fighting The Avatar of Jalrsburg.We know that Sneaky Pete hated Boris because his boorish nature was off putting to women, making it hard for SP to woo them. That is why he is the End Boss to Avatar of Boris. The, the other two avatar paths will have you fighting the other two avatars. Possible reasons could be that Boris saw Jarlsburg as a huge nerd, and wants to give him a terminal swirly, and Jarlsburg hated SP for all of the chicks he got.
Further Avatar ClassesThe Avatar of Sneaky Pete will feature the skill trees of "Crusing"(Combo-based dance attacks, similar to the disco bandit), "Schmoozing"(Charismatic buffs and debuffs) and "Boozin"(Similar to Boris's feasting). It will also use his suit as his familiar(Which can be decorated to act as a fairy, leprechaun, or potato), will restrict his eating to 5, but boost his boozing(As per usual). He will also be forced to always adventure with his off-hand basket, which provides a moxie and item-drop bonus.
The need for Ascension can be traced back to Ed the Undying and/or Lord Spookyraven.Ed the Undying is immortal, and is still alive when you beat him. Once he pulls himself back together, he'll be right as rain. And we're not sure what sort of Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil kept Lord Spookyraven alive, but it may allow him to come back once you're not looking? One or both of them recover, and since you are no longer around (having already jumped through the Astral Gash), they get to work bringing the Sorceress back to life. Then they bring back all of the other bosses. Then they start causing trouble again, and it's like you were never there. Now you have to come back to set thing right.
Comic theory: Lulcatz was made by Jarlsburg.The item description for the Festival of Jarlsburg mention that it is a celebration of "that one time he got really drunk and turned a kitten into a demon". He is the only cat-like demon we have seen, and Azazael seems to consider him more powerful than his other minions. Being made by the most powerful wizard that has ever lived may do that to you.
The Psychosis of each NPC you can gather are psychosi because...
The GameInformPowerDailyPro Dungeon monsters are all animatronic golems.Each one is of the "object" class; as opposed to being defined as humanoids, orcs, slimes, and other. (You can find this out by absorbed their spiritual residues, or using the Object class One-Hit Kill item.) The character figures the makers of whatever game you read the walkthru for just copied the dungeon. This isn't quite true, the dungeon is the game. It's like a magic Westworld.
Something is manipulating the Avatars to kill each other.The Avatar of Boris kills the Avatar of Sneaky Pete; the Avatar of Jarlsberg kills the Avatar of Boris; and presumably, the Avatar of Sneaky Pete will kill the Avatar of Jarlsberg. Through the magic of Ascension, this will all happen simultaneously; like in Eternal Darkness. After we play as Sneaky Pete; we'll see who it is and this will launch the next arc.
The form that the True Mimes will take when (if?) they eventually appear..."Its cold, emotionless eyes lock onto yours, and you are chilled by the sudden suspicion that its chalk-white face is not greasepaint, but rather it's the facial features — the nose, the staring eyes, the black lips — that are false, painted onto a head as smooth and white as a hard-boiled egg." Sound familiar?
Rene C. CormanWasn't actually the one who forces you into your old body in Zombie Master In his initial appearance in The Cannon Museum, he seems quite vain about all applicable titles and honors, but doesn't mention The Gray Plague, which is a fairly major accomplishment. In addition, there is reason to believe a human necromancer could force a soul into a dead body. All in all, it seems plausible there's some outside force. Perhaps the same force that motivates the Avatar of Jarlsberg to kill the Avatar of Boris.
Dad Sea Monkee used the last of his mind to spare his family.He had some conscious access to the Reality Warping before the end. He spared his family by erasing their memories of the recent darkness; hence their not recognizing Mom's....issues and his continued disappearance. He also arranged for them all to die; to spare them from the Cosmic Horror Story that was to come.
Prince Charming is the son of an alternate monarch figurehead with no power and less ambition.He's too busy balling to run anything; hence the Council of Loathing not concerned about him.