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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves is a Time Lord.
Aside from playing Ted in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, take a look at this video. He never ages. If those two facts together don't scream "time lord," I don't know what does.
  • So, wait, Keanu Reeves was Tutankhamun?
    • The body you saw was

Hence explaining not only why he doesn't age but his emotional range. Reeves was built by aliens to infiltrate primitive human society, hence why he became Charlemange. However they didn't know much about human emotion, leading us with "woah" as a standard reaction.
Elvis PresleyWMG/PeopleRick Riordan

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