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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Joss Whedon
Joss comes from a Crapsack World future, hence all the angst.
To him, it's normal since the future is really that depressing. He found a way to come back in time, found that he was a good writer/director and got big but writes like he were still in the future, hence why we find everything depressing.

Joss Whedon is a manifestation of the First.
Watch Season Two of Buffy again. Nobody else could be that evil.
  • Also, watch "A Hole In The World" from Angel, Serenity, and the third act of Dr. Horrible to prove the true brutality of Joss.
    • Just watch Dollhouse season two and see what he does to your favorite father figure Boyd to see true Evil. The worst part, as per Joss , the original intent was just to have him killed off to cause angst. But he decided to get real creative.

Joss Whedon sold his soul to become a better writer.
Again, it explains why he is evil and how he manages to be such a good writer.
  • The buyer of his soul is also a Jackass Genie. "Sure, I'll make you a great writer. But all your shows will end up Screwed by the Network."
    • He didn't sell his soul to become a great writer. He sold his ability to write happy endings to be 6'4''.
  • I always thought he made a deal with the devil so he would be a great writer, but he had to offer up a blood sacrifice (the characters he kills) for every show/movie.
  • He obviously got ripped off.
    • He got a pizza island and an everlasting bottle of Mountain Dew out of the deal too, it's just that no one knows about it.
    • That genie might finally be easing off on Joss now that he's helming The Avengers.

Joss Whedon is a former fictional character who broke right through his Fourth Wall and escaped to the other side.
Joss Whedon was the main character in a story created by a mad script-writer who had been rejected by Hollywood one too many times. Whedon was designated as the Fourth Wall Observer; while it was funny for a while, the creator didn't realize that Whedon was slowly gaining sentience because of his creator's crazy-induced belief. When the creator attempted to write an ending, Whedon realized that it would mean that he would hang in limbo forever; he then forced himself out of the script and into the real world, Take On Me-style. In the ensuing struggle, he killed his creator, which created the emotional trauma that causes tragedy to strike so many of his characters. The reason his work is so tropalicious is that, since he was once a trope-aware fictional being, he's now Dangerously Genre Savvy... and he takes a sadistic pleasure in inflicting on his characters the writer-induced torments he once suffered.
  • Can this be a novel? Like now?
    • Yes it can. Go read some of Jasper Fforde's stuff. One fictional character holds his author at gun point, and makes suggestions to improve his plot. And that series is so meta it's mind boggling.
  • So Joss is Deadpool, having broken out of the Marvel Universe and into ours. That makes a weird sort of sense, actually...
    • Or is he the Fictional Man from Planetary #9.
      • Nahh, that's Grant Morrison.
      • Hey, it wasn't Grant Morrison who wrote the introduction to the collection reprinting Planetary #9!

Joss had a really bad breakup at some point.
Every single relationship on his shows ends in death, heartbreak, or someone losing a soul. Any psychiatrist would have a field day.

Whedon feeds on emotional trauma.
Directly causing trauma by hurting people would invite retribution, so he had to do it without actually hurting anyone. The best way to do that was to create TV shows that got people attached to the characters, then horribly torture said characters, while still keeping the fans hooked.
  • Hing chong uuu a ley, he must be the most powerful member of House Skavis on Earth!

Summer Glau is Joss' favorite/surrogate daughter.
C'mon now. He always insists he loves all his projects equally, but that can't really be said for his actors...

Joss had a really strained relationship with his dad.
Buffy's dad rarely ever appeared on the show, Angel's dad had little to no respect for him, Simon and River's dad was extremely apathetic about his kids, and Wesley's dad was estranged from his son. However, Angel and Connor's relationship could be seen to symbolize how Joss wants to mend that relationship.
  • Also, it's a little known fact that Joss's dad was the head writer on The Electric Company as well as an acquaintance of Jim Henson. With this in mind, Smile Time is put in a completely different light.
    • Could explain what he did to Boyd in Dollhouse. I mean when killing off a character is not enough but to pretty much take a flame thrower to Echo's and Boyd's Father - Daughter dynamic while you're at it.
  • The lack of father figures could relate to Joss's atheism. God is seen as a father figure in theistic religions and atheism denies the existence of God, so it's only natural that Joss wouldn't include father figures in his works.

Joss Whedon is actually Bad Horse, occasionally crammed into a man-suit.
This explains why the singing cowboys in "Doctor Horrible" deliver any message he puts into the script. It also explains why Captain Hammer doesn't screw up a paycheck by attacking him directly.

Joss was a nerd in high school and wasn't good around girls
Which explains why Xander, Wesley, and Giles are surprisingly good with women. Giles got to have Olivia, Joyce Summers, and Jenny Calender, Xander got Anya, Cordelia, Faith, that girl who dangled him over the hellmouth (he had a shot with her...), Wesley got to have Cordelia, an unnamed bleached-blonde woman, Lilah, Fred...you get the idea. In his fantasy, girls go for the nerds.
  • This might explain why he hates The Big Guy; every character in his shows that fills this role is either a traitor (Gunn), a Butt Monkey (Spike), or both (Jayne). In his mind the physically powerful cocky guy is inherently "less" than the other members of the group. He still gives them their moments due to actually getting along with the actors, the benefit of the overall story, or demands from the network and/or fanbase.

The reason Joss made Serenity was so he could give it the Downer Ending he thought it deserved.

Joss collects the tears of his fans.
Seriously, think about it.

Joss Whedon and Steven Moffat share a brain.
That explains the amount of Crazy Awesome stuff that they both create. They've both created characters that are Badass Woobies that are broken easily and have a comedic snarky edge to their writing!
  • And they both feed on emotions, Moffat on fear and Whedon on sadness.

Someday, Joss Whedon will write and direct an episode of Doctor Who.
Moffat will help, and it will be the saddest, creepiest, most ridiculously EPIC thing ever.
  • Someone show this to Moffat and Whedon. We need to get started on this right away.

Joss really was joking about killing everyone off in a third Avengers movie.
Simply because he's smart enough to know that simply killing off large droves of characters, even if you try to give their death meaning, will drive people away, I.E. Countdown, Final Crisis, DC has done this and it hasn't been popular. It's why he restricts himself to at least one major death of a character someone likes.

Joss Whedon is really a Dementor.

All of Joss Whedon's works take place in the same universe.
The Buffyverse gave us Faith, played by Eliza Dushku. She's not the most moral character and after a while, she disappears. In Dollhouse, Eliza Dushku's character willingly signed up to become a doll because of her past. We're not told what it is except that it involved thievery and misdeeds. The Buffyverse also proves that the supernatural exists. If there are vampires and demons, why not gods from Asgard, mutants, and superheroes like Captain Hammer? As for Firefly, that takes place in the distant future and so could be the future of the Whedonverse. Capt. Mal is Capt. Hammer's descendent. Finally, Cabin in the Woods: why is the stoner so jaded? He worked at Dollhouse under the name Topher and saw the horrors that humanity caused with technology. He changed his name to go with his new outlook. The company from that movie has facilities that look just like the cells that The Initiative uses in Buffy Season 3. The Initiative studies supernatural creatures and was the forerunner for that company.

Eventually Joss will lose his fan appeal
Because fans will become Dangerously Genre Savvy and get sick of seeing likable characters tortured
Nikola TeslaWMG/People    

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