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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Josef Stalin
Stalin was the reincarnation of the Old Testament God

Joseph Stalin was a Straw Nihilist and Omnicidal Maniac
One of Stalin's most famous quote is "Death solves all problems - no man, no problem" which would suggest that he was an Omnicidal Maniac, all he really wanted to do was to kill as many people as possible and wipe out the human race in an attempt to start World War 3, which would lead to the death of even more people, which would explain his "A Million Is a Statistic" philosophy and why he allowed the systematic genocide of 50 Million people under his rule.
  • The extreme Orwellian oppressiveness of the Soviet Union is in fact just Stalin's experiment on how people will rather survive in such a Crapsack World than say "I can't take it anymore!" and commit suicide. After all, former parts of the Soviet Union have the highest suicide rates, he did encourage his son to kill himself (going to the point of criticizing him for being unable to shoot straight) and atheistic countries, without the heaven and hell schtick, can never stop them......
  • According to Wikiquote he said that "true conformity is possible only in the cemetery." And considering how Stalin wanted his populace to "truly conform".......
  • And like any classical Straw Nihilist, Stalin had a crappy childhood. When it turned out that Lenin didn't better the lower class, Stalin decided this meant that Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids! and no leadership could fix this Crapsack World. Thus he decided to exterminate his people and end the Vicious Cycle

Stalin was good, and all you know about him is malicious slander
It was made up by the global capitalist plutocracy because the USSR was actively fighting them. Demonizing your enemies, you know. Everyone in the Gulags was legitimately guilty. The Trotskyite conspiracy really existed. The Bukharinist conspiracy, the military coup plan, the Doctor's Plot - all totally real. The kulaks actually were sabotaging collectivisation, and foreign spies actually were infiltrating the Soviet Union.

Stalin was reincarnated from Ivan the Terrible.
  • Funnily enough, Stalin always held that particular tzar in high esteem.
    • The most definitive biography (to date) is called Stalin: Court of the Red Tsar, making this WMG almost mainstream.

Stalin was one of the aliases of the Emperor of Mankind
  • He alternated between Hitler and him for some unfathomable end.
    • Nah, only Stalin was the Emperor. Hitler was to inefficient (and unsuccessful, to boot)in his cruelty to be him.

Stalin was a Georgian patriot.
  • He decided to prove it by becoming the greatest slayer of Russians ever.
M. Night ShyamalanWMG/PeopleNikola Tesla

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