Characters Franchise Fridge Funny GUG Headscratchers Heartwarming HighOctaneNightmareFuel Laconic Main NightmareFuel TearJerker Trivia WMG YMMV main index Narrative
|
Indy has bad vision in one eye
Indy is nearsighted in only one eye. His eyes naturally adapted to favor the good eye, giving him 20/20 monocular vision. The "leap of faith" in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade then makes slightly more sense, as Indiana Jones has no depth perception.
Temple of Doom was All a Dream
Ok, Ok, stay with me here. Indiana was poisoned right at the beginning of the film. He then supposedly survived a plane crash, fought people who could pull still-beating hearts from the chests of their victims and was followed around by the whiniest, stupidest female in Jone's history. The events of Temple of Doom were a poison dream that Indy had before he got the antidote. He woke up in America, and went on with his life and the last crusade. Taken this way, the other movies make more sense....they are all about Indy's family. The first one is aobut him and the love of his life, the second about his father, and the the third about the third generation and Indy being reunited with Marion. makes perfect sense. (yeah yeah, but this is WMG, after all!)
Han Solo and Chewbacca crashed on Earth in the distant past, with Han becoming Indy's ancestor and Chewy becoming Bigfoot
This was forwarded by a non-canonical but Lucas Film-authorized Star Wars comic.
Neither Spalko nor the aliens have any psychic abilities.
Lots of bizarre things happen in the fourth movie but, despite all the talk of psychic powers, there's no evidence of their ever working. The crystal skull could easily be just a high-tech hallucinogen, and all the "messages" from it could be imaginary. Even when Ox speaks for the alien, he doesn't provide any new information.
Spalko won in the end.
The great gift the aliens offered wasn't just knowledge, but also a trip to their home dimension. Human bodies aren't suited to the trip. That moment wasn't Your Head Asplode so much as it was Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence.
The series has a reversal of Star Trek's even-odd rules.
The odd-numbered ones (Raiders and Last Crusade) are usually regarded as better than the even-numbered ones (Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull), forming an inverse of the rules which determine which Star Trek films are good.
Indy is a distant cousin of James Bond.
Indy's dad was Scottish; Bond is of Scottish descent. It is not out of the realm of possibility for a cousin of Henry Jones Sr. to be part of the Bond Family. Also, Indy's father and Bond have an uncanny resemblance...
Alternately, Indy is a distant cousin of Alan Quatermain.
Quatermain looks suspiciously like Indy's dad, too, and he's also a Gentleman Adventurer.
The Aliens are of the same race as those from Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Besides the similar appearance, they both are willing to give knowledge. The imagery of Spalko being absorbed is similar to a cut scene from CE3K in which Richard Dreyfuss entered the spacecraft.
Indy wasn't poisoned in Temple of Doom.
The glass he drank didn't contain any poison, and the antidote was fake. The whole thing was just a bluff used by Lao Che to get the diamond back. Indy felt pains from the supposed poison because of the power of suggestion. This explains why Lao was Carrying the Antidote.
Indy could have stopped WWII from happening in Europe.
The war in the Pacific was going to happen whether we like it or not. HOWEVER if Indy failed to destroy the plane that was about to take the Ark to Germany, Knowing how impatient Hitler was, he would have demanded to see it upon arrival without Belloq's approval. They would have opened the Ark before Hitler and most likely it would have melted his face off. The Ark would have been locked away in a giant secret warehouse/bunker anyways because the Nazi's can't use it.
Indy escaped the worst consequences of being blacklisted by McCarthy because he drank from the Grail and rescued the Shankara Stones.
In the beginning of Crystal Skull, Indy is blacklisted. This is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Thing, and not just in terms of narrative; people's lives were ruined forever by the blacklisting. When we see him at the end of the movie, the whole thing seems to have been forgotten. Either he managed to slide out of the country while the FBI and CIA were still trying to figure out what exactly happened in South America and lived as an ex-pat, or his blacklisting was somehow undone. We know the Grail didn't make him immortal because his father died, but maybe some sort of protection was extended to him anyway; after all, he'd done (several) immense services to the "unreal" world. Maybe someone Up There had an eye out for Indy; we've seen that the supernatural is a potent force, no matter what Dr. Jones believes. The Ark doesn't count, alas, because he didn't really rescue it, you know?
The grail doesn't just extend your life, it makes you immortal.
In the previous films, Indy always tries as hard as possible to scrabble out of the way of anything potentially lethal (whether or not he succeeds). But in the fourth film, he finds the deadly merely unpleasant. He is almost fearless. He knows that Ox was talking about two more possibly deadly waterfalls after dropping down the first, but he doesn't seem to try to avoid them. He balks at grabbing the snake and makes an offhand remark about hitting the bottom of the sandpit. He says that he should go into the city alone. He almost never tries to escape the Russkies on his own initiative. He survives an atomic bomb blast at almost point blank range with only a refrigerator for a shelter. He ends up taking just as much of a beating as in his previous films; but he never seems to feel as battered and exhausted, even though he's older. Oh, and his dad? They never show him; he isn't dead because he can't die. Neither of them can. His only worries in this film are protecting the lives of others, keeping his Healing Factor-based immortality secret from everyone, and avoiding especially unpleasant “deaths.”
The Holy Grail only gives you one extra life
The Grail basically gives you "another guy" in video game terms, or a single "Get out of Jail/Death Free" card. Henry SR was almost dead when he drank from the cup, so he cashed it in then, healed his wounds, he then grew old and died. Indy was perfectly healthy when he drank from it, so it gave him an extra life, which he used to survive the atom bomb blast.
The Crystal Skull was magnetic
Gold isn't magnetic. But a magnetic substance, especially an alien one, could look like gold.
The Grand Alien Theory...
The Musical Aliens (in Close Encounters of the Third Kind) have been locked in a deadly war with the Crystal Aliens for millions of years. The Crystal Aliens made contact with the humans first, intent on looking for some advantage against their cousins.
The Musical Aliens have a major weakness — they are unwilling to interfere with other cultures and are benevolent to a fault. After learning that the Crystal Aliens secretly invaded ancient Earth, the Musical Aliens, too busy fighting elsewhere to act directly, chose to observe rather than risk causing further damage to humanity.
The Crystal Aliens quickly learned that Earth gave them no major advantage, but a few rogues did discover that humans are... well, tasty. Earth's rich geological resources also intrigued them, and so they become obsessed with grabbing everything in sight and screwing with humanity... for fun. This never was approved by the Crystal Alien leaders. They allowed the humans to disable the largest hive mind on Earth with some simple trickery, resulting in the members of Akator's 13 being trapped on Earth.
The rest of the rogue Crystal Aliens were promptly arrested by the grand emperor, who found it pleasing to let the Akator 13 suffer for their indulgence. Their glory faded. The captured rogues were sentenced to death. But a few managed to convince the emperor that humans are... well, tasty. So he agreed to allow several science teams to abduct humans through the centuries, performing tests on them while they were in cryostasis. These people were eventually rescued by the Musical Aliens when they got a foothold on Crystal Alien territory and started kicking ass with music.
Unfortunately, in the 1950s on Earth, Indiana Jones unwittingly returned the missing member of the hive mind, allowing the Akator 13 to escape. The 13 staged a coup and killed the emperor, leading the Crystal Aliens in a new attack on the Musical Aliens. But the 13 chose to ignore Earth right then, and the Musical Aliens slipped in and contacted humanity in the late 1970s. They released the people who had been kidnapped by the Crystal Aliens and imparted information to a young child, information about their civilization in case they are annihilated. They also picked up a brave man who they discovered could offer his services as unofficial ambassador.
The Musical Aliens continued to wage war against the Crystal Aliens and eventually drove them back far into space until both civilizations were decimated, becoming nothing more than a memory, a record in the mind of a person who was now an old man on Earth...
Irina Spalko was the protege of Rasputin from Hellboy
Ever notice how similar Spalko is to Rasputin? And why would the Communists have any interest in the paranormal? Answer: Spalko is Rasputin's protege.
Hellboy himself was a protege of Indy's
Because that would just be too cool.
Lara Croft was also a protege/student of Indy's
Because that also would be too cool.
Elsa Schneider was a virgin.
Indy didn't care for her — he certainly doesn't spend much time mourning her death — and yet she says of spending the night with him, "I'll never forget how wonderful it was."
Building on the Indy Is James Bond's Cousin guess, Indy Is the original James Bond's Son.
The second James Bond (third 007 or later) used archaeological expeditions as excuses for his extended absences, and MI 6 gave him crash courses in archaeology to make it plausible. After Henry Jones retired and was replaced, losing the accent he used for cover on missions, he went into archaeology for real. (The James Bond played by Sean Connery would be a different Bond than the one who was Indy's dad.)
The child Maharaja is the father of Khan from Star Trek.
Well, why can't Zalim Singh be related to Khan Noonien Singh?
The majority of the fourth movie is Indy's Dying Dream as he is killed by the nuclear blast.
Let's be honest: No One Could Survive That. Assuming that Indy is, despite his adventures, still an ordinary human, then there's something fishy going on here. This can be backed up by the plot of the movie: the reappearance of his old flame Marion Ravenwood (whom he marries at the end of the film), the son he never had (after losing his own father not long before), his vindication by the government and promotion at school (after a fashion), and one last grand adventure (with aliens!) all point to Indy's subconscious giving him everything he most desired before he finally bit the big one. The True Ending of the film is either Army personnel finding a charred corpse in a refrigerator at the test site, or Indy dying of severe radiation poisoning some hours or days afterwards.
The spirits in the Ark of the Covenant are of all the people who had previously opened the Ark.
The bodies of Belloq and all the Nazis are swept up into a whirlwind, which goes back into the Ark.
Marcus Brody suffered a degenerative mental disease
Spalko didn't die in Crystal Skull.
She was beamed up to the ship and brought to a psychic library in their homeworld. If their treasure was knowledge (and knowledge was their treasure), and they were willing to share it rather than punish her for trying to steal their treasure, it makes sense that they would try to accommodate the one human being who appreciated their treasure.
The skull is literally selectively magnetic
Indy started carrying two guns after Temple Of Doom
The Ark of the Covenant found in Raiders was France's April Fools joke gone horribly wrong.
Related to the Hetalia theory above, Indy is related to Alfred F. Jones.
Indy and his father's line descends from one of Alfred's early "adventures" in courtship. It explains the otherwise daring, brash and headstrong attitude of the explorer. It probably also helped in letting Indy into government secrets in the events leading up to Crystal Skull.
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull isn't a Genre Shift- every film has aliens.
Temple of Doom is a Deconstructive Parody of the first film.
Drinking from the Grail gives you more than immortal life.
The aliens did give them a gift.
Indy is a jaegerkin with his teeth filed down and his accent covered up.
Mac was having a relationship with Spalko.
Money wasn't the only reason why he was going back.
Spalko wished to "know" everything, and got her wish.
Along with everything else, she knew pain , then death. Firsthand. She may also have known eternal life, depending on the aliens' power, whether or not they gave her an Eternity Inside, Instant Outside experience, and how the afterlife works in the Indiana Jones multiverse.
The Secret Government Warehouse at the end of Raiders isn't Area51.
This does contradict Crystal Skull, but anyways. The warehouse they put the Ark into is just a perfectly normal warehouse full of paperwork, boots, cartridges, paperwork, engine oil, paperwork, and paperwork. The Ark isn't lost again because it's in some Government Conspiracy base; rather, the well-intentioned but not terribly on-the-ball people in charge just dumped it into the bureaucracy, whence it was swept away, never to be seen again. The Ark is probably in Newport News, except that one time they accidentally shipped it to Sacramento in place of an engine block.
Twilight Sparkle and Timon from "The Lion King" are incarnations of Indy.
Ex. 1: Twilight Sparkle hates snakes.
Ex. 2: Timon says "Hyenas. I hate Hyenas," right before he's forced to be live bait.
The Grail's effects are temporary.
The knight was still alive because he kept drinking from it. This also explains why the knight didn't completely stop aging. Henry Sr. died because the effects of the Grail wore off.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Privacy Policy
0