WMG / Hotel Mario

The picnic was just a coverup.
Once FM and GL get to the Mushroom Kingdom, they realize the truth.
  • You mean the two of us were the only ones who thought this?

All toasters do indeed toast toast.
However, toast is not all that toasters toast.
  • And not all toast is toasted by toasters.
  • Toasters also play NES games.

They have a special kind of bread that goes in toasters. It's called toast.
Hence why Fat Mario says "All toasters toast toast". Another name is sourpuss bread (hence "Bowser's Sourpuss Bread"), but most people call it toast.

Gay Luigi is smitten with the player.
Hence why YOU gotta help him!

The Princess is not Princess Peach.
At no point is she referred to by that name and we have no real reason to think they are one and the same.
  • No one ever called her Peach in Mario one either

The Princess never did make Lotsa Spaghetti.
And shortly after the ending, Gay Luigi violently murdered her.

The game was intentionally bad.
The game was Koopa Kingdom propaganda to show how dumb the "Pesky Plumbers" were, but the creators had a little too much fun with the cutscenes, and the laws of the universe prevented from having a game where Mario loses.

Bowser pulled a successful Batman Gambit
He didn't kidnap the princess for the sake of kidnapping the princess... he wanted the Mario brothers to test the security systems for his new hotels (which he otherwise makes a legitimate profit off of) and used the princess as bait to get them to do so. Test results are now in: the security is inadequate.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WMG/HotelMario