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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Homestuck Alpha

One of the kid's planets will be the Land of Curtains and Clockwork.
Lord English was floating through a space in Caliborn: Enter that was full of the same curtain/clock mechanisms that begin and end each act, so it's likely that one of the lands will be this.
  • This is highly unlikely, but this troper thinks that maybe uu's Land would be that.
  • Jossed in fact; we know the initials for all the lands and none of them line up with Lo Ca C.
    • Could it not be under a different name, such as the Land of Gears and Drapery?
      • None of the kid's land names line up with that either... (and I doubt it's Caliborn's either, as that was flashing multiple colors.)
      • Perhaps it is what Hussie's world was?
Jake will not be revived via prototyping
Jane and Dirk's shirt symbols are modified from those of their prescratch counterparts, but Roxy and Jake's are swapped. Interestingly, that's not the only thing swapped. Rose is responsible for the creation of the MEOW code that created Jade's dog Becquerel. Jake created the BARK code that will presumably create God Cat. Although God-cat doesn't belong to Roxy, and is not the cat depicted on her shirt, it is likely that it's cloned from one of her cats, the same way that Bec was cloned from Grandpa's dog Halley.

Also, I can't be the only person who's noticed that clockwork majyyks handed out by LE to his minions are essentially a pallette swap of the elderitch magics used by Rose with her Thorns of Ologoth, right? It was especially obvious when we saw child!handmaid do it with her cuestick-needlewands. And hussie entertained the possibility of magic guns back when he was working on Wizard Herbert, the story which would later influence Rose's Complacency of the Learned. Hmmmmm..

I'm going to bet that, assuming Gamzee doesn't come and ruin everything, that the prototyping patterns will be reversed between them as well. Either a Mutiecat or the G Cat will end up in Roxy's kernelsprite, followed by her realself or dreamself. Meanwhile, the ashes of Grandma Jade will fall into Jake's kernelsprite. This will make everyone wary of prototyping Jake, due to Jane's experience with Tavriskasprite and the horrors of double-prototyping different people. Meaning that Jake, if dead upon entry as predicted, will have to be revived through another method. Perhaps with clockwork voodoos, creating a x2 callback combo to both Grimdark Rose and Rainbow Drinker Kanaya (who Doc Scratch implied he had a hand in reviving)?

Jane and Jake's Sprites will be Poppop Crocker and Grandma English, respectively.
They seem to be dead, and Sprites attract the dead and doomed. Plus, it seemed like Jade's Sprite was supposed to be Grandpa Harley, but since the universe had cancer, Bec got prototyped instead to create Bec Noir. Grandpa Harley not becoming a Sprite will be one of the wrongs that is righted in the Alpha session.
  • Does Jake have Alpha!Jade's remnants lying around anywhere?
    • Not that we know of.
      • He has her ashes in an urn.
  • Tentatively Jossed. Poppop Crocker's remains are floating out in space around Earth after [S] Jane: Enter. Unless his severed arm is still lying around and is used, it's probably not going to happen at this point.
    • Post-Entry prototyping via a variety of means is still possible.
    • Given we haven't seen the arm since Jane captchalogued it, it is probably still in her Sylladex. And given Nanna's ashes were enough for John's sprite, Poppop's arm should be enough for Jane's.
    • But sadly, this one has been Jossed at Tavros and Vriska's great expense.
      • Though not completely yet. We still have yet to see Jake's sprite.
      • And Dirk or Roxy's sprite could full well be prototyped with Poppop's arm or body (considering that in the future he might have fallen back to earth).
      • With the beginning of Act 6 Act 5, Jake's sprite has been revealed to have been prototyped with the corpses of Eridan and Sollux. Considering Jane's Sprite was prototyped with Tavros and Vriska's corpses, it may well me that Roxy and Dirk's sprites will be prototyped with the four other post-scratch trolls corpses. My assumption is that that the other sprites will be Aradia-Feferi and Equius-Nepeta. Tavros and Vriska were matesprites, Eridan and Sollux were kismesiss, Nepeta and Equius were morails, and I believe Aradia and Feferi were part of a auspistice relationship with Sollux as the in between. It is most likely that Equius-Nepeta sprite would belong to Dirk (considering his similaritys to Equius), and Aradia-Feferi sprite would belong to Roxy.

Pony Detective is not the only book Bro has defaced.
Strider sending Jane a defaced book for her birthday recalls multiple similar gifts given by Andrew Hussie himself, the introduction of which into Homestuck canon would nicely mirror that of a certain comic meant to make fun of a kid on the Penny Arcade forums. It's hardly a stretch to imagine that Miss Lalonde would appreciate a personalized copy of Wizardology, and The First World Flight would certainly appeal to Jake's wanderlust.

The alcohol that Alpha!Rose leaves around for Alpha!Mom isn't actually alcohol.
Likely everyone (especially those in countries with a lower legal drinking age) is aware of the stereotype of social glorification of going out and getting hammered present in many teens. It's entirely possible that Alpha!Mom buys into that stereotype and sees getting drunk as, to quote Jade, soooooooo cooooooool. Meanwhile, Alpha!Rose is aware that that's how her daughter seems to think, so what she does is she goes and buys non-alcoholic beverages en masse, disguises them as alcohol and puts them in the cabinets where Alpha!Mom can get to them easily. It's a placebo - Alpha!Mom thinks she's drinking alcohol so she thinks she's getting drunk as hell, and her belief in getting drunk being soooooooo cooooooool helps her act like she's drunk without her ever realising that she's not. So it could be sort of a deconstruction of this pedestal upon which young people place alcohol, with an emphasis on how it makes people look like asses?
  • Meaning that pre-Scratch Mom was never really an alcoholic? SHOCKING.
    • Not sure how that follows. Rose obviously was not buying Mom's liquor pre-Scratch.
  • There might be some confirmation of this in how class/aspect powers work. If you recall Rose's conversation with Doc Scratch, he implies that she possessed her abilities before even entering the game, and that the tools that she thought "granted" her those powers really didn't do anything beyond letting her feel comfortable with using said powers. In this case, the faux-alcohol would be serving that purpose.
    • Then again, so could real alcohol.
  • Pretty sure this is jossed. UU revealed that, in her theory at least, the drunker Roxy is the more her void powers are held back. The reason why UU and uu can't skip to a point in time after the session starts to view the kids is because Roxy is completely sober, thus her void powers are in full effect. Kind of a lame way to put an end to this, but I don't think "mind over matter" would work on something related to the game, especially something Roxy didn't even realize she was doing in the first place.
    • It's possible it contains something else that would inhibit Void powers. What probably josses it more is the earlier revelation that Roxy's "mom" lived hundreds of years before her and that Roxy is one of only two humans in existence in her timeframe and so probably would not have gotten any peer pressure from anybody.

Roxy will pull a Gamzee and go batshit crazy in the Medium.
Think about it: Nobody knew what Gamzee was like off the sopor slime before they played Sgrub, and it turned out he was a terrifying bastard. Eventually the alcohol will run out for Lalonde...
  • On a related note, perhaps running out of alcohol will also lead to Roxy either 1) going Grimdark or 2) realizing her Void powers (or both, really, since she'd probably need the Void attribute without the Horrorterrors to do the work for her)? Because a moment of "why is the rum gone?" leading to her descent would be amusing, that's why.
    • Dirk is a far more likely candidate given his already shown instability and having Cal nearby.
      • Cal has been lost for starters, and what do you mean his "already shown instability"? He actually appears to be the most stable character at this point, unless I missed something...

ALL the Alpha Kids will go batshit crazy in the Medium.
Jane? Manchurian Agent? Jake? Sudden brainwashing or full blown Demonic Possession through his helmet computer. Lalonde? See above. Strider? Either A.I. Is a Crapshoot or he ends up like Vriska (which is not batshit crazy but still pretty unstable). And just to make things worse, they won't go after each other either - they're going to go after the Beta!Kids. They spend the session preparing for the arrival of gods, so they can properly commit deicide when they arrive. It can't be that hard to engineer a heroic or just death...
  • This troper just realized Jane's English helmet makes him look like the Masked Man of Mother 3. Hello, Whole Plot Reference.
    • Hussie has never played Mother 3.
  • Hello Tricksters!

Jake will kill John at one point.
Jake's Chumhandle is golgathasTerror, Golgatha meaning "The place of the skull"; However, Golgatha is also the place where Jesus was crucified. John is what most people would call the Messiah.

Now look at all their known chumhandles.

The Terror of Golgatha will kill the Ecto-Biologist, and will make him into a Ghosty Trickster. See? Symbolism!
  • Yeah, but who has the initials "JC" here? Jane Crocker.
    • Jake will kill Jane... in order for her to go god-tier.
      • Jane will die... so that everyone else can live.
      • This troper doesn't think that Jane will be killed by Jake - at least, not peremently. Alpha!Jack Noir tried killing her, and in the end, she did the lifey thing and came back to life.

Bro's sprite will be tier-two prototyped by his auto-responder.
Thereby becoming a full-blown Expy of Davesprite.
  • Throw in a gull and call it a day.
    • Tenatively jossed, as the Alpha Session seemingly won't be able to Prototype.
      • Pre-entry, probably not. Post-entry? Who knows...
  • Considering how Davesprite is described in Act 6 Intermission 2, this is looking rather likely.

Jane's going to have a hard time with her transforming Fork / Spoon kind strife specibus.
Think about it, what will happen when she starts getting fork / spoon weapons that cannot transform like her Crocker Corp weapon? Every time she transforms her crocker corp weapon, every weapon in the strife specibus that cannot transform will be ejected.
  • There's an abundance of unusual strife specibi that nonetheless can make multiple weapons; 2x3dentKind and 1/2bladeKind being examples. Who's to say that she can't find another transforming fork-spoon weapon that doesn't come from Crocker?
  • Actually, IIRC the way specibi work, there is a strife portfolio in which all the specibuses of a character are stored. You can only use one specibus at a time, but the ones you aren't using, and the weapons contained therein, are merely stored away.

Get Up will be the music used for Jake English's ascent to the God Tiers.
It does seem appropriate for a funeral procession.

The Alphas are going to die doing things mirroring what the main cast had done in the past.
Jane had already died trying to get the game in the mail. If thisheadcanon is to be correct, R will make a walkthrough; however, Rose also mentioned that all the walkthroughs she had seen ended at the moment the meteors impacted their homes. Following this, R dies when she runs out of time on her cruxtruder. D will probably die falling off his building trying to retrieve his item, what with no Rocketboard to break his fall, or he gets impacted with the meteor if his brother didn't cut through it.
  • In this scenario, it's a possibility Jake's failure would be to not prototype his kernelsprite before entering, as Jade and John nearly failed to had Bec not intervened (albeit they might have succeeded without Vriska's interference, but I digress).
  • If the alpha session people all don't have cruxite items, the way Jane did, then Roxy couldn't have had an 'eggy lokin thign' or however it was misspelled. And it's looking like Roxy might not get a meteor either.
  • The first part is Jossed. Jane didn't actually die from the mailbox explosion.

The Alpha Session is a practical guarantee of success
  • Alongside the fact there are two Seers, two knights, and two heros of space, every element is represented in the party except doom.
    • In fact, maybe they will be successful because they don't have a Doom player.
    • On the other hand, there is no evidence so far that the trolls will count.

Andrew Hussie will not show us most of the events of Act 6 thanks to Roxy
UU has stated that she can't see most of what happens during the Alpha kids' session because Roxy has blacked out the session with her Void powers. It's been made clear on multiple occasions that our ability to view Homestuck is tied into one or more of the same mechanisms used in-universe for pseudo out-of-universe entities to view and meddle with things, e.g. by shutting off the fourth walls or closing curtains over them, blowing up exile terminals, scratching the disc, etc. Whatever Roxy does will probably affect us too. Otherwise, it would have to leave a loophole for in-universe meddling.
  • Additionally, Hussie has used these events to fast forward the story telling on at least one occasion (Doc Scratch's narration takeover), and Hussie has said on his formspring account, "[A]ct 6 will be considerably shorter, and act 7 will be minuscule."
  • Plus, if many fan theories are right, and UU is a stand-in for the MSPA readers, then we are as vulnerable as she is to anything that blocks her ability to see. This is our warning and the first foreshadowing of (non)events to come.
    • We saw what Rose did when she was blacked out though, so tentatively Jossed (besides the fact this would probably make the comic something of an anticlimax).
  • And now the Author Avatar is dead, adding more fuel to the fire.
  • Potentially Jossed; it has now been shown that Roxy blacking something out in-universe does not necessarily black it out for us the readers, as she blacks out a bucket brigade to protect UU's innocence, but we can still see it.

Dad will punch Jack, hard.
WG and Dad was killed by Jack back in the kids' session. Here, WG got to whack Jack. In which case, why not have Dad punch Jack?

Jake is going to die.
Did anyone notice a few of his levels? "One tomb, many suitors" for instance. This could pertain to his already dead dream self, or it could be foreshadowing. Furthermore...
  • Presumably just refers to many many instances of "One x, many y" across literature and his plundering of the Frog Temple.
  • And of course, a pun on "One too many suitors."

Dirk is going to fuck things up royally, and possibly cause Jake's death
First off, Dirk has been revealed to be in a class that rivals the Bard. UU (if she is to be trusted) has stated that Princes and Bards can cause... odd things to happen in game. Our examples being Eridan and Gamzee. Secondly, while he has told Jane that he will be pulling the strings for the entire group, a few of his conversations have implied that he actually knows very little about the workings or goals of the game. If he actually ends up running the show, he may fuck up the proper path that the kids are supposed to take. (In comparison to Rose, who nearly fucked up the game by trying to learn too much about it and trying to break it apart) Alternately, he doesn't end up running anything because, let's face it, how many of them are going to be listening to him once they enter the game? Roxy is going to to her own boozed up thing, and Jake is going to be like a kid in a very dangerous candy shop, reveling in his adventures! Jane may or may not hold a bit of a grudge against him for providing an alternate route for Jake's affections. However, when his carefully calculated plans all fall to shit because no one will listen to him, he's going to do something that earns him his class title. (Perhaps not a raging rampage, because that doesn't seem like his style. But something that will accidentally screw everyone over)
  • Well there's been at least one team member in every shown session who is a detriment to the team, and it's fairly likely to be Dirk at the moment. But the assumption that Princes are odd is a false one. Bards are weird and hard to classify, but both they and Princes are completely in line with other classes.

The WILD CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN will get a new section
That Pesterchum symbol looks awfully like a window tab.
  • Probably UU and uu when we get to them. Maybe the exiles too.

Jane is going to die in her Session and become a ghost.
Just a hunch; there's enough Foreshadowing going around that it could happen. Speaking of which...

Dirk will retrieve Bro's sword.
Presumably Bro's sword is still on LOWAS and when everyone meets up, He will succeed where Dave failed and then Dual Wield two inter-dimensional copies of the same sword like Glenn from Chrono Cross.
  • John and Jade have buried the many corpses around the scattered lands. Bro's sword is left where it was impaled however, as a monument to him. Davesprite would freak if they moved it.

The other three planets will be Land of Tequila and Krypton (Roxy), Land of Puppets and Neon (Dirk), and Land of Monuments and Xenon (Jake).
The Alpha Kids are referred to as "Nobles" by the consorts of the new session, forming a stealth pun with the Land of Crypts and Helium, Helium being a noble gas. The other three will probably follow this pattern as well. The first part of each speculative name is just based on the interests of the corresponding kid.
  • Gotta invert the order of Dirk and Roxy; the lanterns on Jane's land implicitly confirm that the order is Jane-Roxy-Dirk-Jake. Moreover interests have no real reason to show up as no previous land has done so (with possible exception to Nepeta, a Joke Character). My own hypothesis is that it's going to be "Crypt" and "Element" (see below) so perhaps:
    • Land of Polyandrium (an archaic term for a mass grave) and Neon, Land of Tombs and Krypton, and Land of Mausoleums and Xenon.
    • LOPAN will look like a red light district or Las Vegas (with neon lights everywhere), while LOTAK will have at least a few Superman references (possibly even to the point of eventually being destroyed).
      • Perhaps LOMAX will have some kind of emphasis on nuclear power? If LOPAN uses the light theme, anyway. Given Jake's and Jade's use of uranium and radioactive material in advanced technology, it would fit the theme pretty well.
      • Considering Helium was used for Balloons, Hussie may go with the popular conception of each element, ie, Neon lights, Superman Krypton (Especially considering all the other comic book shout outs), and Nuclear Xenon (though Xenon has nowhere near the presence in pop culture as the others).
    • Pyramids fit in LOPAN, don't they?
      • Luxor Hotel, anyone?
      • That fits far better than Polyandrium.
  • OP here. The first words in each name were really not the important part of the theory, but it just looked unfinished to leave that part blank, and I didn't have any better ideas. The flash itself says that LOPAN will be entered before LOTAK, and it makes more sense for Dirk to enter before Roxy, because he is Jane's server player, so LOPAN is probably Dirk's planet. Once again, the main part was the noble gas theme. The crypt theme seems like a good idea in hindsight, though.
    • Again, the flash shows that the order is Jane-Roxy-Dirk-Jake implicitly by the order of the lanterns, Cyan-Pink-Orange-Emerald. Besides, Roxy is in more immediate danger as her neighborhood is ablaze, and there's already been weird shenanigans with servers, given Dave is both Rose and Jade's server players.
  • I'm curious as to why Argon was left out.
    • This is a stretch, but Argon lights have Mercury in them, too. uu has been associated with Mercury in many, MANY theories, so maybe that has something to do with it?
      • Note too that the narration specifically says LOCAH and LOPAN, and then LOTAK and LOMAX, seemingly acknowledging and skipping over Argon at the same time. Considering the last noble gas is Ununoctium, connections with UU and uu might not be unfounded.
      • Well, if we include Ununoctium, then what's to be done about Radon? Possible connection to Lord English?
I asked my chemistry teacher, and she said that Argon is found in the spectroscopy of dying/doomed stars. Could that have some connection to uu/UU, since their planet is completely destitute? And if we're on the topic of uu/UU=being the missing Argon, then I'd like to point out that Argon is used to shield from radiation. Could it be that uu/UU wants to protect the others from Lord English? Of course, that wouldn't fit very well with uu being Calmasis, but I'm just thinking out loud at this point.
  • It was mentioned above that the order would be Jane->Roxy->Dirk->Jake because of the lanterns, but that doesn't seem to be the case; Jane's lamp is opposite Jake's, and Roxy's opposite Dirk's. An alternate possibility may be that they will enter in the order their pre-Scratch counterparts were prototyped. This would give Jake LOPAN; if it's (as some people are guessing) Land of Pyramids and Neon, then he'll likely have an Egyptian-themed area with flashing lights; Dirk would have (the supposed) Land of Tombs and Krypton; and Roxy would have (again, currently just a fan nickname) Land of Mausoleums and Xenon, which ties in with Jasper's Mausoleum and, possibly, her alcoholism/element (Xenon is sometimes used as an anesthetic, according to Wikipedia).
    • No matter how much you rotate, the order in sequence is always Teal-Pink-Orange-Emerald-Teal-etc. Dirk and Roxy's lanterns are adjacent as are Jane and Jake's. The ones "opposite" each other are Jane and Dirk and Roxy and Jake. The planned order was Jane-Dirk-Jake-Roxy, which Dirk organized so he could meet Jake, but events have since spiraled out of control and Roxy's neighborhood is in immediate danger much like Rose's was, while Dirk seems to still be busy and Jake is knocked out. Sure it involves some server and player shenanigans but Dave and Dirk have already shown that's perfectly fine. And that method of entry still corresponds to the relative locations of the Beta Kids and their entries in order.
      • The discrepency is finally acknowledged and rectified in one fell swoop. While the characters still complete the chain in the planned order, it seems the actual entry order differs slightly. Nevertheless, it seems to be implied that Jake, Roxy, and Dirk will enter near simultaneously anyways.
  • I'm convinced that LOMAX has to be Jake's planet, whatever the full name is. His echeladder includes the rung "Revenge of Bernie Lomax", which is both a reference to Weekend at Bernie's and the same letters as the planet's acronym.
    • Foreshadowing! Also as mentioned above, Xenon is an anesthetic, which fits with the frequently knocked out Jake.
    • The auto-responder is trying to get Dirk and Roxy into the game as fast as possible. He tells Roxy to connect with Jake, but he still probably considers that a low priority compared to the other two. So Jake=LOMAX is pretty much confirmed.
  • The pages after [S] Dirk: Unite confirm the order as Jane->Dirk (via Sawtooth)->Roxy (via Squarewave)->Jake (with the rest of the group). The lanterns were only placed in the same positions as the planets within the incipisphere would be (ie Jane's, the closest to Derse, is opposite Jake's, the closest to Prospit).
What just hit me is that Jane's planet (which has clear Air and Water themes through the water-filled Helium balloons) is between John's (the Air planet) and Rose's (the Water planet). Perhaps LOPAN will have a Water and Fire theme, LOMAX will have an Earth and Fire theme, and LOTAK will have an Air and Earth theme.
  • It will be Mounds and Xenon, Tombs and Krypton, and Pyramids and Neon, because of the pesterlog on this page.
    VRISKA: We've explored ancient crypts, networks of 8urial mounds, dusty old tom8s, giant pyramids, you name it. Hints a8out the endgame are hidden all over the place.

To be precise, Roxy and Dirk are 413 years ahead of Jane and Jake.
In other words, 2424, which is pretty much what the fans seem to have settled on anyway.
  • Confirmed if this took place two years before the currentnote  time.
    • Dirk opens that conversation with a "Happy 13th" for Jake. Assuming Jake's birthday matches Jade's pre-Scratch birthday, Jake would be 15 by the beginning of Act 6. So... confirmed.

Jane will eventually restore life to the lands.
This is at least part of her role as the Maid of Life.
  • Looking at least a little bit confirmed, following the Trickster Mode events at the End of Act 6 Act 5 Act 1.

By the time the Beta kids arrive to the Alpha session, another thousands to millions of years would pass.
The same tablet that states that millions of years passed since the Consorts died also states the Nobles will have to wait even longer before the Beta kids arrive. Even without a Noble of Time, Weird Time Shit keeps screwing with things.
  • Maybe just a little bit. After all, we know John and Jade are (probably) entering before Dave and Rose, and the wait may just be enough to make everyone an even 16, while the meteor takes it's time to catch up.

Jake will at some point somehow go God Tier...
And when he does, his lantern will spontaneously reignite, lighting the way to the last puzzle Jane's required to solve.
  • His body was carried to his tomb, which is presumably on his Prospit Quest Bed. Furthermore, it was his (pre-Scratch) grandmother who self-prototyped her Dream Self, so this is a very real possibility.

The Blood potions will work exactly as Gamzee described them...
And the one made from Tavros' blood, which Jane threw over the cliff, will somehow make its way to The Batterwitch's hands, where it will prove key to the plot.
  • If Jane said 'no' to the Bronze Potion, Gamzee just gives her a few bottles anyway, which she doesn't mention throwing off the cliff. I'm calling this unlikely, as she only threw it over the cliff in text, so use of it likely isn't canon.
  • The blood potions after the creation of Tavrisprite were probably gotten rid of as quickly as Jane could.
    • Maybe even harvested for grist, if that's possible.

Gamzee likely gathered the remaining bodies of Equius, Nepeta, Eridan, Sollux, and Feferi, and will give them to the the other 3 kids for prototyping.
I know there is five trolls, but I theorize Gamzee will visit the other three planets and will use the other dead corpses of the slain trolls to prototype the other kids sprites. Nepeta/Equius (Nepuius?) for Roxy, Eridan/Sollux for Dirk, and Feferi for Jake (assuming he didn't die). It's also arguable that Equius could be flung in Dirk's since both have similar personalities, but it looks like this was Gamzee's plan.
  • Alternatively, Eridan and Feferi will be put together. "Feferidan" is an easy enough amalgamation to put into a sprite name.
  • My guess is he'll either leave Sollux's sprite alone to deal with his bifurcation, or Gamzee will jump into the final one himself.
  • A thought occurred to me. Doesn't anyone else think Hussie is using this to make fun of the shippers pairing trolls and giving the odd names?
    • That's the joke.
      • Confirmed in idea, but not in specifics. Jake gets Erisol, Roxy gets Fefeta, and Equius is paired with Dirk's autoresponder to give A Rquiusprite.

Post-Scratch!John isn't Crocker at all - he's George Washington.
Why else would he have prophetic dreams - unless he was related to SBURB in some way?

Something's gonna break the Condesce's psychic hold onGCat.
And he might have a My God, What Have I Done? moment when he sees everything the Condesce made him do. (bonus points if Tavros is somehow responsible, given he and Vriska {mainly Vriska} are planning to "fuck shit up".)

Jake isn't going to become Lord English, but Hussie will still play that WMG up to the point that even Jake himself will start to briefly believe it.
This may cause Jake to become scared of himself and worry he poses a danger to his friends. There'a already implications that he is either subconsciously already afraid of himself and his potential or subconsciously believes that Dirk is.
  • Mostly Jossed; we now know the origin of his name and his Lord English-y stuff, and we also know who Lord English started out as.

The session will not recognize the beta battlefield as fully prototyped.
Jade didn't bring the shell, what separates 3x from 4x prototyping.

There is a real meteor called "Betelgeuse" in the alpha session.
Just because "ignore all future input from Betelgeuse" from Jailbreak can be mirrored in Jack!Jailbreak.

Sawtooth was an attempt to make a Brobot.
This one's half a joke, but it (in my head, at least) holds some water. Sawtooth is an unmatched rapper, much like Dave. Maybe Dirk made him after he found out about his 'ancestor'?
  • Sawtooth is more of a parallel to an idealized version of Dirk himself. Remember Squarewave speaks in red, like Dave, while Sawtooth is an untouchable badass, like Dirk likes to think he is.

Jane is going to go yandere for Jake.
This WMG is mostly a joke, but given which comic we're talking about here, I could see it actually happening.
  • I think this has just been sort-of confirmed with her trickster self...

Once the pre-Scratch kids show up, the post-Scratch kids will stop being viewpoint characters.
Revising a WMG given above. Only now, at a point probably very late in Act 6-3, is Roxy spending time as a viewpoint character... at which point UU tells her that she's been blacking out more often. What if the only real viewpoint character introduced in Act 6 has been UU, and maybe Noir and DD? Once Roxy blacks out the session, and UU loses the ability to see it, we'll lose the ability to see anything from the eyes of the post-Scratch kids; since the pre-Scratch kids are viewpoint characters in their own right, they won't be a problem. Note that the introductory flash to Act 6 ends with a zoom out to the screen UU is watching events from, followed by her continuing to a pseudo-"opening screen" of Homestuck. What if that's a way for us to start following her watching the events leading into the session? When Roxy blacks out the session, we will immediately get UU deciding to walk away from the console for whatever reason (by or at this point, UU will have been or will be fully revealed), as a way to transition out of this device.
  • Core of the theory mainly confirmed, if not the execution, as we skipped A 6 A 4, and Caliborn reveals he can see everyone again near the start of A 6 A 5, so he effectively becomes the viewpoint character.

Calliope and uu are from the universe that fell in Jade's forge.
The idea here is that each successive session we've seen so far contains less starting players (Trolls = 12, Kids = 4, Cherubs = 1). A possible reason for their session being void and their sun being in its red giant phase could refer to the universe burning up in the lava. On the other hand, their sun is even older than Alternia's so there's also a possibility they precede the trolls.
  • Somewhat Jossed - they appear to be from the far furture of the B2 session. Note the huge amount of shitty JPEG artifacts which could only have been made by Alpha!Dave.

Dirk will be killed by Gamzee.
Either his dreamself or his real self upon his arrival into the Medium. Why? Because Heart powers "make you extremely likely to get beaten to death by a rowdy juggalo."
  • After the events of [S] Dirk: Synchronize, there's no way Gamzee will be able to kill his real self - he already gone and killed himself already, although not without getting things set up for the session.
  • Which leaves with the possibility Gamzee will kill Dirk's dreamself in the Medium or Derse's moon... right on a Quest Bed.
  • That statement was clearly referring to Nepeta. Or, rather, was intended to be interpreted as such...

God Cat, being the First Guardian, sent Dirk the Fenestrated wall intending for him to use it to save Roxy later.
Yeah, I know Auto-Responder doesn't trust that cat farther than it can throw it (and given it's a pair of sunglasses without arms to throw with, that's not very far), but don't you think it was rather...convenient that GCat's one little action there that made Roxy's revival possible?

Skaia assigned the kids their roles knowing there would be players from other sessions coming in to fill in the blanks.
The most obvious evidence of this is in the lack of space and time players- Jade and Dave respectively. A significantly more subtle bit of proof is in the shoes of the various god tiers. As seen here, each aspect has a complementary counterpart. In God Tiers for most classes, the color of the complementary class is reflected in the shoes. Jake is a hero of hope, and his complement would be a hero of doom- Sollux (and it would make too much sense for him to be part of two sessions, with his theme of duality.) Dirk is a hero of heart without a hero of mind, who will turn out to be Terezi.
  • That image is non-canon. We still have no idea what Doom shoes look like. Doom has been suggested to be the counter-element to Life in fact, and Void and Hope are seemingly counterparts. Additionally, we have yet to see a God Tiered Hero of Void or Mind, and the image also shows errors. Hope has been shown via Eridan to be purple, Life via Feferi pink, and Blood via Karkat to be black. Hussie likely hasn't been going with an obtuse and confusing code for shoes, and is probably just picking out nice counter colors rather than specifically matching counterpart elements. It's also possible that specific classes or species simply have different colors of shoe: Dave and Dreambubble God Tiered Karkat both are Knights and have Black shoes, while the shoes of Feferi and Eridan match their blood colors.
  • Calliope said that you don't have to wear all of the god tier outfit, and Vriska probably changed her shoes to red ones. Eridan and Feferi could have changed theirs to fit their blood colours.

Jane's alchemy session will be on or around Christmas 2012.
  • Similar to John's in 2009 and Jade's in 2010.

Lord English isn't the true villain; Dirk is.
  • In royalty, Lords serve under a higher power, in this case, a prince.
  • Each incarnation of Dirk owns a Lil' Cal, which may or may not resemble Caliborn.
  • Dirk's title means Destroyer of Souls, and Lord English kills ghosts.
  • Dirk's opinions on his class and aspect make references to him becoming a "cartoonishly evil sorcerer.
    • Plus Caliborn has a sort of admiration for Dirk. This might carry over to his Lord English incarnation.
  • Tavros foreshadows the possibility of there being a bigger bad.
  • Also it seems weird for Dirk to be such a perfect character in physical and intellectual terms.
  • Dirk's bed has snooker ball sheets.
    • Of course, this could be taken as a joke. He wants to have an English in his bed.
  • Dave is being heavily foreshadowed as being the one to slay lord english, and considering his relationship with his Bro.
  • Bro "Pimp"ed his puppets.

Whatever the secret weapon that Vriska is trying to find really is, it's hidden in the Alpha kids' session.
Because, after all, X marks the spot.
  • Jossed.
Dirk's sprite is a combination of Equius and the Auto Responder.
Equius seems to be the only remaining body.
  • Confirmed. Hilariously.

Dirks sprite is a combination of Equius and Gamzee.
This assumes that Gamzee jumps into the sprite with/after Equius's body.
  • Pretty sure this isn't possible, since according to Hussie, after dickin' around in Jane's session, he enters Caliborn's somehow. The bullet-riddled Gamzee is the most recent iteration of him available.
  • Alternatively, he kills kanaya shortly after she kisses rose, and prototypes her, leaving only the trolls that correspond to the cardinal zodiac signs un-prototyped
  • Jossed. It's Equius and AR.

The Trickster Mode Alpha Kids will fight the God Tier Beta Kids at one point.
  • Probably Jossed.
Dirk is going to stop the Trickster madness.
Let's be real here, Dirk is not gonna have any of this, and his Flash Step abilities are gonna make it impossible for any of the Tricksters to get him. He'll probably either KO them or just go "fuck no" and stop it.
  • Unfortunately Jossed.

Dirk will do the Hearty Thing and let one of his split souls go Trickster.
If he can't escape them, he might as well pull a gambit to let them get what they want and still get out of the tight situation. He might then get ARquiussprite to try and find a way to stop them from spreading the mode any farther.
  • Jossed as far as we know.

Trickster Dirk is Camp Gay

If Dirk does go Trickster, he'll look SBAHJed.
He'll look poorly drawn with noodly limbs, have JPEG artifacts sticking out everywhere, and talk with excessive SBAHJ-style typos and in Comic Sans. There can be no finer way to express the utter craziness of Trickster Mode as far as it concerns him.
  • Sadly Jossed. It's not enough to change him that drasticly.

Gamzee will put an end to the Trickster madness
  • This is actually plausible. Consider what we know;
1. Gamzee HATES the Tricksters for some unknown reason(maybe because he didn't intend for it to happen and he thinks it might screw up Caliborn advancing in the game).

2. He's also murderously insane.

3. And on top of that, he's been seen in both sessions and is a clown, which could offer immunity to the Trickster Touch.

So with those in mind... It's possible that - BRAINSTORM - Gamzee will kill the Alpha kids and leave their bodies. Then the Beta kids will arrive, see the Alpha kid corpses, and put them on their Quest Beds, causing them to go God Tier.
  • Jossed.
Gamzee has manipulated things so he will go Trickster
This will lead to him becoming a bigger bad than Lord English, as foreshadowed by Tavros

The Condesce's request for Roxy...
... is to take Earth into the new universe the kids create, thereby saving it from destruction by Bec Noir's Red Miles. Roxy's power allows her to steal things from the Void for the benefit of others- meaning she can steal objects from other universes and sessions when she Ascends to God Tier, including whole planets.
  • Looking Jossed. The Condesce wants her to recreate the matriorb by stealing the nothingness from it.

Trickster Mode was actually a diabetes induced vision and/or hallucination.
When the two lollipops joined together and force Jane to lick it, two timelines were possibly created. What we saw with all the Trickster Mode comics was the timeline where Jane was actually effected enough to the point were the sugar high gave her reality warping God-tier type powers. The other, correct and unchanged, timeline was Jane merely having an extremely vivid vision of what was happening in the Trickster Mode timeline induced by a near fatal stroke from said sugar high. The latest comic (as of this post) is us, the reader, seeing the aftermath of Jane in the normal timeline after licking the lollipop, quite obviously shaken by what she just saw and the near fatal stroke she had from licking the combined Juju.
  • Jossed

Dirk's UNBREAKABLE KATANA was really forged by an Otaku Master
Said Otaku Master was a paragon of Hot-Blooded Manliness, and had forged pretty much every ridiculous anime weapon ever, but he sought to make a truly unbreakable weapon for a real hard dude. He traveled across Weabootopia, seeking the greatest components, tools and techniques to make his magnum opus.

  • The sword's prototype was found in the Gate of Babylon.
  • The sword's blade itself is made of Super Alloy Z.
  • The flames were ignited by a Getter Beam and a Buster Beam colliding.
  • The fires were stoked with the Red Stone of Asia.
  • The anvil used was made of pure Gundanium.
  • The hammer used was the Goldion Hammer.
  • True to form, what he used to shield his eyes from the sparks and brilliant light of the forging process were a pair of welding glasses that resembled some rad pointy anime shades.
  • Part of the tempering process involved slaying an Angel with the still red-hot blade.
  • After cooling in an enchanted spring where virgin horses nicker and bathe, it was polished to an immaculate shine by three busty catgirls, one a Tsundere, one a Yandere, and the last one a Kuudere.

John will come between HIC and the Alpha Derse Dreamers...with a twist.
John will appear between them, poised for attack. The Condesce will charge at him briefly, but then she'll get a better look at him—and see Poppop Crocker. She'll hesitate, giving John the perfect opportunity to blow her away with The Windy Thing.
  • Jossed
The Trolls' meteor will be sent by Skaia to Earth.
Unable to stop, the meteor will get close to Skaia, and be sent by reckoning portal to the post-Scratch Earth, where the cherubs will live in it.
  • Probable if offscreen, given how A 6 I 5 ended.

The Alpha kids will influence their Beta counterparts somehow
Clearly the Beta guardians had plot-important shit going on. Grandpa Harley was freely traveling the Medium, Mom Lalonde has access to a Skaianet laboratory not unlike the one accessible to Roxy (indeed, she opens the passage to it in the mausoleum for Rose to access), Bro initiates the Scratch, and Nanna...okay I don't really know about Nanna but still (perhaps Jane gets to influence Dad Egbert instead, I dunno). It's been shown that the B1 and B2 universes can still interact somehow through the bunny's delivery and Roxy's appearifying and sendificating Jaspers to and from the Beta universe. Perhaps the Alpha kids let their counterparts have the lowdown on what needed to be done, to ensure their own existence and the proper progression of events. We already have Stable Time Loops everywhere, what harm could one more do?
Dirk will become Lil Cal.
It would explain Cal's mobility, and his affinity with puppets. He will somehow be horrendously transformed into a puppet and subsequently go insane. There are many similarities as well. Cal is a Derse Dreamer, has an affinity with orange, they have the EXACT SAME text color, Caliborn used to not like him then came to favor him, Cal's fanart often depicts him with blond hair not unlike Dirk's, he has an affinity for baseball hats, and even escaped the Red Miles, like Dirk. Dirk even has a mental CLONE of himself named Lil Hal, which is similar to Lil Cal's name. My guess is that he will be sent back in time to create the events necessary to create Lord English. Caliborn may get fond enough of him to not want him to die when he destroys the universe, and so, in Caliborn's only way of expressing friendship, he will take Dirk, and somehow either combine him or turn him into Lil Cal, and send him back in Time, an ability that would be available to him considering his aspect. Dirk has assisted Caliborn in the past, helping creating his robotic leg for him and drawing for him, so why wouldn't he assume that he'd be willing to help him again, whether he liked it or not? Furthermore, Caliborn has connections with Saw, and Saw himself made apprentices of people who have "won" or outsmarted his games, something that Dirk has done before. How is there a Cal in every timeline? Splinters of him.


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