Grand Unifying Guesses Conspiracy
This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
All of fiction is an elaborate conspiracy.
All fictional universes are being manipulated by a shadowy cabal in order to further its schemes. The cabal consists of R2-D2
, Havelock Vetinari
, Jean-Luc Picard
, Jonas Venture Sr.
, Princess Zelda
, and Princess Peach
. They also have unwitting agents in other universes. Their goal is probably to find the Ultimate Question
, after their pawn Arthur Dent failed in his task. The TV Tropes wiki is another part of their plot.
Except Yog-Sothoth, who runs it.
- Also, Jeeves is part of the Cabal, but not part of the main council. He's too busy training Bertie Wooster, who is actually The Chosen One.
- The Patriots, who created the TV Tropes inside Arsenal Gear, and SEELE, whose Unification of Mankind Project was obviously an attempt to improve the Earth Supercomputer, are either fronts or branches of the cabal.
- This group caused The Great Crash in an atempt to hide their existence. They failed.
- Alternatively, that's what they WANT us to think. What would be a better idea, shutting down a possible means of success, or just throwing us mere mortals off the trail?
- It is theoretically possible that the TV Tropes wiki is a part of the cabal itself, created by the cabal to create a form of mass intelligence in the hope of emulating the Earth that produced Arthur Dent while providing ideas for other places to advance.
- So Deep-Thought is R2-D2! (He thinks he might be able to help whith the answer now)
- Yes, but chances are they're being played for chumps by Azula, who masterminds everything that everyone does in every reality, except what Haruhi Suzumiya does.
- But she's being played by Light Yagami, who is being played by Darkseid, who is being played by...
- Vickey Gurrero, who also secretly controls the WWE in her spare time (all that stuff thats been going on for the past... like... what two and a half years, at least? Yeah. Nothing more than a Gambit Roulette set in motion by her).
- Tzeentch, who is playing everyone and everything from the beginning of time.
- Pfft, he's being quietly manipulated by Bat-Mite.
- Who is an unknowing puppet of Doom!
- But then, Tommy Westphall just dreamed Doom up, just like he dreamed the rest of television up, so everyone is his pawn in that big chess game in his autistic mind...
- Who is a himself a collective of the minds of all of them.
- The main Cabal is controlling everyone who is supposed to be controlling them, but their plans are such that they require a large amount of people to believe that they are manipulating the manipulators.
- Considering the above list, it's probably more likely that, apart from Haruhi, every single member of the Cabal is the same Time Lord during different regenerations.
- And they're all being lorded over by Nerissa, whose fantasy of ruling the universe that was supposed to be just a delusion projected by the Jewel of Meridian is actually real, and she's got everyone else trapped in the Seal of Nerissa and is deluding them, Matrix-style, from her throne at the center of the universe.
- And she's being used by Dr. Wily.
- Who is being backstabbed by Vetinari, because he's just that awesome.
- And all this proves once again Xanatos's plan to become a Higher Deity are another step closer to completion.
- And ALL of them are being lead by the nose in endless circles by The Doctor. Because he's VERY GOOD.
- And Kane is playing every single one of these people for his own benefit.
- Meanwhile, with everyone else occupied, Shockwave has infiltrated the upper echelons of the organisation (Remember that friendly blue robot who waved to you on the stairs? Think; was he here last week?), and is currently biding his time and waiting for the right moment to strike...
- How could anyone believe that what transpires does not unfold exactly as Kane plans. Of course Kane could not have planned for an ambush BY HIS OWN FORCES!
- Which is just what Xanatos planned all along.
- And everything that has transpired is just a part of Aizen's bankai.
- Or so he thinks, after a visit from Charles.
- Who was "convinced" in turn by Charles.
- And their all being manipulated by The Joker in his grand master plan to show all the schemers how stupid and useless their planning is. For very soon from now, he and the forces of Chaotic Evil will rule all of existence!
- And he, in turn, is stymied by basic human decency and goodness, which powers the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann! Which the council planned for all along. They are VERY good at what they do. They only missed one person in their accounting: Vic Sage.
- And everyone is being manipulated by Scrappy Doo. Puppy Power, indeed.
- In fact, the entire conspiracy has been orchestrated by Asterisk Corp., the largest provider of asterisks in the multiverse, in order to increase the demand for their product. How? Just look at the page source and count the asterisks here and above!
- However the positive power of Gurren Lagann is being converted into negative energy used to destroy the universe by the Daleks!
- Who are secretly creations of Unicron.
- All of this, of course, is being masterminded by Yui Ikari.
- People have noticed this cabal and are attempting to gather as much information as possible to destroy it. For instance, in our reality, the internet holds the information.
- When you say "their pawn Arthur Dent", you mean the man who runs the galaxy, right, as is known to six people in it — and we have seen six people who know? You may have underestimated this "pawn"'s subtle game of Gambit Fizzbin. Prak has not. Fortunately, he is part of the cabal.
- From my limited knowlege of current events, Mr. Dent has gone into hiding in New York and is assisted with his assistant, John Munch. Munch was assigned to New York from Baltimore to protect Arthur and fight any civil-liberty-threatening laws that come up in his work, as they would reveal his presence. (SVU is the department that usually ran into these laws first.)
- I have some interesting new information on my theory, and I'll post it on the Fora within the next few days. If someone whose username isn't 'Moogi' posts it, it's a red herring put there by the cabal.
- Where does Haruhi Suzumiya fit into this?
- Wherever she wants.
- Haruhi is just a front. The Cabal use her as a distraction to draw speculation away from the real source of power - them.
- Whatever the case is, The Question knows all about it...
- The Countercabal (which attempts to destroy all information) include the following:
- In addition, Jasper Fforde invented his literary police to keep the Countercabal in check. So, the question is, where does he fit into this?
- The same place as The Question and Dr. Henry Killinger - an independent agent trying to preserve lifekind from the mad ambitions of both the Cabal and the Countercabal.
- Yukari Yakumo is manipulating all of them with "Boundary between free will and mind control". Since she is the ultimate aspect of Haruhi, this makes sense.
- And the Cabal never saw Helen Magnus coming.
- However, Tommy Oliver saw it all coming, and has personally stopped both cabals with his sheer awesomeness.
- All of which, Cabal, Countercabal, and independents; God, Nyarlathotep and Xanatos; the Guild of Calamitous Intent, the Boy Scouts and the Vatican; every person, being and concept in the Pantheon; every US President, Roman Emperor and Egyptian Pharaoh; every person with power they put there, every plan put forth by their will, every revelation made with their permission; all of them are know to be incarnations, cells, sub-groups, dupes or agents, knowingly or obliviously, mortal or infinite, of the same omnipresent, inscrutable and immortal Ordo Illuminati.[[supersecretspoiler:fnord]]
- Yes, even that one.
- Which is being masterminded by Keyser Soze, who is in turn being puppeteered by Artemis Fowl.
- And FINALLY (really, this time), Artemis Fowl is manipulated by... the Cabal. Yes. There is no true Man Behind the Man. The hierarchy of puppeteering, the chain of gambits... just loops around.
is aware of or in on every single
conspiracy throughout all fiction.
Hey, he figured out the fluoridated toothpaste/spy satellite connection, not to mention that sinister
aglet thing. It's not too much of a stretch.
- This makes him the Anti-Xanatos.
- Au contraire! His conspiratorial knowledge only goes back to Ancient Egypt. HOWEVER! The oldest known work of fiction (The Epic of Gilgamesh) goes back to Sumer, before Ancient Egypt! The Pan-Fictional Cabal (above) is outside the realm of his knowledge!
- However, upon reading the above statement, he has now become aware of the gap in his knowledge and is working on filling it.[[supersecretspoiler:fnord]]
- As much as I hesitate to bring... rationality to this page, The Epic of Gilgamesh's 2000 year writing process starts about 1000 years after what we call Ancient Egypt started. The Epic was finalized at about the same time Ancient Egypt was falling. So the Question is good actually. Unless this accepted history stuff is just what they want you to think...
has planned all of this
He is also Xanatos
in disguise. He has planned every work of fiction, all crossover, and all of this speculation we are doing, leading to an, as of now, unknown end.
- Which explains why he hasn't finished his plan yet. Vic Sage is close enough to spot and defeat the plans before they finish.
- No, no. It's simply that he's Tzeentch, and thus his plan will never end.
- Furthermore, Xanatos is a natural evolution of Batman's "Matches Malone" personality, created so he couldn't foil Batman's (the dominant personality) plans. Yes, Batman created a massive fictional conspiracy to test himself.
Batman shouldn't have been hiding in the shadows all this time. Shikamaru is controlling him with his Shadow Possesion Technique, as well as any other conspirers that hide in the dark. Even SEELE
All of fiction is really a cabal as mentioned above, and is trying to turn everyone into Hikikomori (Introverts)
The only one who has figured this out is Satou Tatsuhiro from Welcome to the NHK
- Who, being fictional, is actually a part of the conspiracy. He's faking being a victim as a sort of Sarcastic Confession to throw of suspicions.
- So, Satou is really a red herring who works for the Cabal?
The Cabal is the fandom of reality
Think about it. Why would all the myriad universes have lasted so long if the Cabal is behind everything, ever? Why can nobody agree what the Cabal is doing, let alone the Cabal itself? Why is there so much Ho Yay
all over the place? Why do people become Flanderised
? Why do people have UST
but nothing happens
? Because the Cabal are the fans of reality - bickering constantly with one another over what is "true" and what isn't, writing more and more stories and arguing about them. The only thing that keeps them together is their love of reality and their desire for it to continue.
- So, the Cabal is US. All of us. All human and other sentient beings that exist, ever existed and will ever exist are THE CABAL.
- Another theory: Our reality is actually a work of fiction, written by humanoid beings living in an utopian universe where there is no murder, war, disease, poverty, despair, etc. — in other words, an incredibly boring universe. Also, everything in that universe is homogeneous and identical, from the inhabitants to their cities. So when one of them has a moment of inspiration and describes a fictional universe where new challenges to overcome pop up every day and there's always something new and different to discover, the most obsessive fans of this work began to constitute the Cabal.
- If something particularly weird happens, it's because one of the Cabal members wrote a silly fanfic about an universe they don't completely understand.
Everything that has happened in fiction either has actually happened, or is a simulation run by various governments
Basically, the entirety of fiction was started centuries ago as a defence mechanism against other governments, should they ever get hold of certain secrets and try to disseminate them amongst the public at large - the idea being that the public would simply point out that it had been used as the plot of a film/tv series/book/play/whatever, and therefore disbelieve the person disseminating the secrets. Project Fact and Fiction, as it became to be called, entailed turning every possible government secret into the core of a work of fiction: this therefore explains the mystery surrounding Shakespeare's plays - they were part of Project Fact and Fiction, and thus were actually written by playwrights working for Queen Victoria. Any work of fiction that couldn't possibly be based on Earth, either due to the necessities of the genre (e.g. fantasy, sci-fi) or due to anachronisms with established history (anything set in WWII, 1984
) were generated via simulations to gauge human responses to such situations, and also provided a useful smokescreen to hide the actual government secrets in.
- Gibberish! That was exactly the plot of... oooooooohhh!
The Cabal transcends both reality and fiction, and the following are in fact the Cabal:
, The Illuminati, Anonymous
and The Internet. CABAL
can also be involved.
The most bitter rivals of the Cabal are:
Those Wacky Nazis
- If that's true, we should root for the Cabal.
of it. Ever
Just The Templars