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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Face Book
Facebook is the first step towards a 1984 environment.
By ensuring that everyone in the world is interconnected, the World's Government can ensure that Big Brother is watching over every profile and scroll through their social and combined network data to make sure they're compliant. By controlling the revenue of FB games, half of the world is engaged in Double Speak. There is no privacy of personal information- and the FBI now has a whole database of lives at their disposal... Soon everyone will be controlled?

Everyone on Facebook, except you, is an AI.

Think about it. You don't know for sure if any of these people are actually real. You can become friends with people you will never meet in your life, weird people who you will never see. It's all part of 'the Patriots' plan to control the flow of information. By interacting with these "friends", they can slowly change your mind about things, until you start to see things the way 'the Patriots' want you to. Facebook controls all information. Facebook is the Patriots.
  • I saw my own brother edit his Facebook account, so Jossed.
    • Most people I friend, I've met in Real Life, so reJossed.
    • Those who have family on Facebook you talk to regularly, say 'Jossed'?

Facebook was created by aliens in order to gather as much information about humanity as possible in future preparation for a full-scale alien invasion.
By collecting all the social and private data about the human race, the aliens can infiltrate our database systems. This will ensure that the aliens will have an easier time learning about their own enemy. By doing so, humankind shall cause their own downfall... And it's all thanks to logging in... The true creator of Face Book might be the official 'spokesperson' of the aliens in a human body as we cannot comprehend their true selves and the humans will Go Mad from the Revelation...

Facebook's creation wasn't about information at all. It was about distraction.
The huge information database was a fortunate side effect, not the main goal. The idea behind Facebook was to connect people, to let them learn about and communicate with their friends as much as possible. The result? Countless hours of people interacting with each other, especially more extroverted people.

So how could this benefit anyone? Well, say you're a loner Social Darwinist who believes that intellectual progress, such as inventing new things, is impeded more than it is helped by social interaction. Maybe you think talking with people about inane things distracts your thoughts from more important, lofty subjects. So what do you do? You increase people's opportunities to interact with each other through the Internet. Those who love socializing will take those opportunities and spend more time updating their internet status- rather than considering inventing any new devices or even crafting a literary masterpiece. As a result, your own site have less competition from the literary professors.

And not only that, but fellow loner-geniuses also benefit, since their own introversion and gaming tendencies means Facebook has more of an impact on their free time than on that of their more socially-oriented friends and peers. As a result, human progress will slowly come to a halt... But surely they shall come to depend on the introverted 'nerd' who can shun others long enough to focus on his mundane tasks. Human invention will be then considered slowed to a halt.

Society, upon realizing that nothing could be done without these computer nerds, will lift them up and eventually idolize them. Every jock who sneers at a geek will be shunned, children will dream of growing up to lead a computer company pushing yet another exciting new social technology similar to Facebook... And you, Mark Zuckerberg, will be the vanguard of this new generation of popular nerds- as the very website that condemns the socially-inclined masses to inadequacy, brings you the admiration of those same masses...

You'll end up a billionaire with millions of friends, known worldwide, having shaped the very world to your liking.

Bravo, Mr. Zuckerberg. Bravo.


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