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Parson will survive the destruction of Spacerock by climbing inside the corpse of a red dwagon.
Because red dwagons are immune to fire, and he's seen Return of the Jedi and Charlie hasn't. Later, he'll thank Charlie for giving him the idea by mentioning the red dwagons in their Eyebook conversation.
Shmuckers act more like phlebotinum than money.
Sure it is the standard of trade but thats because its the most constant and versatile resource out there. Money has no real value except that everybody else believes it has value. Shmuckers raises cities, creates units, promotes people, and maintains life without a second party. I'm sure it does many other things too.
Ossomer is going to Turn, throwing Wanda's supposedly perfectly loyal and titanically mandated army into chaos
Just look at how conflicted he is. And since it was already established that executing their prisoners to decrypt them is terrible for the armies morale and killing certain units can affect a whole side's loyalty, Ossomer turning (and being killed for it) might be enough to break Wanda's hold over her undead legions. This has great potential for future plots as well, since Parson has been working on how to create a side that can pay it's upkeep without looting it's neighbors.
Don's personal bat in the Spacerock tower will do something important.
Because it's the little things that make a difference sometimes. We keep getting references to the fact that it's there, and we know how strongly Don feels about the battle. At some pivotal point, its miniscule contribution to the battle will be what the tipping point that decides a key fight.
Tremmanis is going to either win this battle or fight Parson to a draw, leading to a final confrontation at Jetstone.
Tremanis is showing far more strategic sense than either of his brothers, and his diplomatic skills mean that he can bring leverage to bear on Parson that is unrelated to the military situation. This is especially likely if, as above, her manages to turn Ossomer.
When the four Arkentools unite under Parson's control, he will use them to "break" the rules and bring peace to Erfworld.
Wanda believes, at least, that the Fate of the Arkentools is to be brought together and used. Marie and Janis believe that Parson is the warlord Fated to bring peace to Erfworld, but the current physics of Erfworld (the upkeep mechanic mainly, the generally warlike nature of all units as well) make peace impossible. Parson could be the Perfect Warlord who is Fated to bring the Arkentools together, and using the four artifacts that created the world, change the rules of the world - break things hard enough - to allow peace to exist.
Each Arkentool is drawn to someone with a similar mindset of that tool.
Stanley wields the Hammer. He is also blunt, dense, and fond of using simple, direct, and crushing plans and has no head for subtlety. Wanda wields the Pliers. She's subtle, multi-purpose as a caster, and enjoys twisting and bending people to her will.
Charlie uses/is the Dish. s/he's aloof, mostly neutral, and works with mostly celestial beings, there's not a lot yet really known about Charlie, but I bet they'll tie it tighter as we find out more.
Stanley really is holy, although he'll have to share the limelight
We know from Parson's Klog No.9 that royal empires can split into new sides; the implication is that overlord-led empires do not. Two arkentools have attuned themselves to commoner overlords; a third refuses to attune to Ansom, a royal (though it does end up attuned in Noble hands). Therefore Stanley and Charlie do have a holy mandate: to conquer all of Erfworld and win the game in a way that the royals never can. This also provides Parson with a way home; if Stanley wins the game, Parson's duty to serve as a perfect warlord will be obsolete.
Parson is in a hospital
He had a heart attack while preparing for his greatest Table Top Strategy Game scenario. The whole thing is his Dying Dream, not a result of a coma like he suspects.
Parson is not insane, nor is he dying. It's all real.
This is a whole hell of a lot scarier than the idea that Parson is hallucinating. What if it's all real? It would be weird for a world to be a bizarre mix of our culture's cliches, but what if? What if he's really murdering people and ordering armies and doing horrible things because he has to?
That's a lot more brutal than it was All Just a Dream, Dorothy...-Silverlocke980
In the style of Digimon, Erfworld is a simulation turned real
It was a simple strategy game with a real damn good framework and artificial intelligence (well, that's new), but Erfworld eventually became a full-fledged parallel universe without need for grounding in the 'real' world but still running on the simple strategy game rules.
This might mean that, as the game goes on, Parson will realise how much of a Crapsack World this truly is, with literally no point to existence but war, and end up trying to change things despite its going against all his instincts and experience.
The Arkenpliers will attune to Wanda
It just seems both appropriate and ironic. The pliers affect uncroaked; perhaps the awakened powers involve croakamancy.
Wanda is working with Stanley because Ansom wiped out her tribe.
The cast page
Parson's world was created by the Summoning Spell.
As soon as Wanda was ordered to cast the spell, it created a world from which to draw a warlord who fit the terms. Parson's anagrammatic name is a clue that it's he who is artificial, not Erfworld. Another clue is that the narrator asserts facts about Erfworld, but not about Parson. This means that, for example, Elvis was created so that the Titans would seem to be Elvis impersonators, and so on.
Loyalty and Duty don't affect Parson at all
Everything he's done has been of his own free will. Hearing that he was compelled just gave him an excuse to try the tactic he'd wanted to, even if it was terrible. He'll have his own Heroic BSOD once he discovers this.
Wanda engineered the downfall of both Banhammer and Saline IV
Think about it. She now claims to have ruined and destroyed more than Parson did with the volcano. Clearly, she had a hand in the destruction of Faq by selling them out to Stanley. She then engineered the Gobwin uprising and arranged for Stanley and the casters to be conveniently absent.
There is going to be an Arkensaw
Had to be said.
Wanda is going to form her own side
She now has an Arkentool of her own, just like three of the other faction leaders. Also, while she originally uncroaked units under the banner, colours, and "crest" of Lord Hamster, the Chief Warlord, she can now decrypt them wearing her red-and-black colour scheme and with her skull logo. Since Ansom and she both seem somewhat loyal to Parson, she'll take him and Sizemore with her, and possibly Maggie.
The current "strategy game" is a prequel to an RPG-style plot
Parson plays (played?) tabletop games, so it's not much of a stretch to think that he played role-playing games as well as strategy games. The Arkentools would be the Plot Coupons of said RPG. Note that all three known arkentools are owned by characters who could be seen as villainous, regardless of whether they are. Stanley is a huge jerk and pretty nasty; Wanda is a croakamancer; Charlie has no problem with backstabbing. Parson, as the usual GM of his group (or so it appears), would most likely be the Big Bad. Who would the players (or player characters) be? Other people from Earth, or perhaps Jillian and Vinny and other assorted characters; note that Jillian has a Big Fancy Sword and is described as a barbarian, a common RPG class. And, of course, it's only Part 1, so it has to go somewhere after The Battle for Gobwin Knob.
Charlie is also an emigrant from "Stupidworld", like Parson.
Maggie warns Parson (on page 88) that "Charlie follows his own rules. He has an unknown agenda. He is really quite impenetrable and... bizarre." She then explicitly describes Parson's pop culture references as "a match for Charlie's strangeness". A recurring theme in the story is the mutual perception of ridiculousness between Erfworld and Parson's... and as we see at the end of Book 1, Parson is capable of breaking the rules of Erfworld - hence, "following his own rules" - if sufficiently motivated.
The Titans don't "look like Elvis" . . .
Elvis was a Titan! And he returned home!
The Titans are the ones who're manipulating the game against Parson.
We know they didn't intend to leave behind that one extra gemstone, so they probably didn't intend for Parson to be summoned. We also know that Parson's been rather unlucky in battle. Perhaps they've realized that he could wind up ending wars on Erfworld, thus denying them the entertainment of watching said wars.
The Arkenpliers will turn out to have a limitation that prevents them from making Parson's life too easy.
At a guess, any given individual can only be revived once with the pliers. That way, they're still a great aid to Parson, and they give him leeway to risk the lives of his troops.
Bogroll will be back
This one sort of depends on the regeneration rules, but he was established as having that ability. Wanda said he couldn't be raised because there wasn't enough left, but he is a troll. His body was incinerated, but that may not be relevant in this setting.
Charlie isn't attuned to the Arkendish, he is the Arkendish.
This one is simple: The Arkentools are implied to be self aware, and the Arkendish is one that has an unparallelled command of Thinkamancy. So what do you get when you have a sentient artifact with the powers of telepathy and mind control?
Charlie is an atheist
The most recent summer update shows he doesn't believe in toolism, he never seemed particularly keen on the idea of a royal mandate in the past either. It has been implied that some units (although a minority) may not believe that the titans exist so it's not that far out there, I think.
Charlie is Parson on the 'outside'
Playing as the killer GM that he was planning to be. Setting up no losing situations for himself? No way to win for Parson in Erfworld except exploding the volcano and breaking rules? That's the only way Parson was willing to lose his game to his friends. And he's never shown and doesn't follow the same rules as everyone else.
The Royals would have gone after Stanley regardless.
Even if Stanley had been a complete saint, he still would have become a target after Saline IV named him Heir, because he wasn't popped as one. Being Heir is a special status that can be conferred to anyone, defying the conventional method of going through a long popping process. It's completely legal, but rarely used because it flies in the face of what's perceived as "normal" for Erfworld. If that rank can be given to a "commoner", well... doesn't that make it just a little bit less "special"? If it's not the exclusive dominion of those who were literally popped for it...
Therefore, even if Stanley had simply been a ordinary piker who rose through the ranks to Warlord — even if Saline IV had named him heir without the Arkentools being involved — even if he had been a completely outstanding, wonderful person and modestly accepted whatever role he found himself in — the Royals still would have viewed him with distrust and as a threat, because he wasn't one of them. His very existence was a threat, because it proved you didn't have to be Royal to become Heir, and that you could rise above your station.
Charlie is responsible for the death of Saline
Facts we know so far. Stanley hates Charlie with a vengeance. Charlie planned if not played a role in Jillian's coup involving the swap of natural allies over to Faq's side. Gobwins broke alliance for no known reason which resulted in Saline being killed when Stanley was out of the city. Now Stanley isn't exactly bright so this is the way I see it going down. Stanley naturally trusts the only other wielder of an arkentool and Charlie tells him there is another close to Gobwin Knob, so Stanley takes his dragons to hunt it down, as Charlie causes the natural allies to change sides. The reason for this would creating a conflict between Stanley and the royals because it looks like he committed regicide. This allows Charlie to make huge amounts of money and possibly get his hands upon another arkentool.
Either Erfworld molds itself to those in it, or their perceptions mold to its rules
It's been a while since I read the early strips, so forgive me if I've got some things wrong, but we know for certain that "time is relative" in Erfworld, and in the earliest strips we saw the end of Stanley's turn coincide with nightfall. Stanley's comparatively early in the turn order, and we know of no units—not even the vampires of Transylvito—that move at nighttime. My interpretation of this is that when someone's turn has long since ended and they should be asleep, if still awake they'll see stars when they look up. When an enemy soldier engages someone whose turn has ended, though, the sun is hanging high in the sky, having presumably teleported up there when enemies entered that hex. In case of TL;DR: whether or not the sun has set depends on whether or not you've been ambushed! The more complicated explanation for this would be that the sun physically moved in response to the soldier entering the hex. The simpler one would be that nobody here is really seeing the sun, and only their perceptions changed, which opens up some unpleasant possibilities. The only upside here is that we've seen scenes that lacked Parson and Charlie but maintained the basic structure of reality, so most people are seeing roughly the same thing.
Charlie is an avatar of Tzeentch
Let's see. He has some of the most powerful magic in Erfworld, seems to know everything, and is trickier than [[GargoylesXanatos.]] His units wear blue, Tzeentch's signature color, and Charlie himself is never seen, remaining a mysterious faceless figure. He's a Lord of Change, using the conflicts of Erfworld for his own inscrutable purposes.
In order to combat Parson and the forces of Gobwin Nob, the Royalists will summon the perfect warriors to fight against him. Namely, Parson's players.
I'm not entirely certain how this would play out, but, I feel like this would be an interesting turn of events. Parson gets to play out the game he wanted his players to experience, but with high stakes involved.
The Arkenpliers aren't attuned to Wanda, Wanda is attuned to the Arkenpliers.
How can I word this... Basically, Wanda of book 1 and Wanda of book 2 are COMPLETELY different, in more than just Character Development ways. Radically different personalities, so much so that Parson comments on it and is now scared of her, when he initially thought of her as one of the few sane people that he can talk to. I don't think that the tool became attuned to her, she was attuned by it. For some reason, it chose her.
There are infinite universes. The 'support plan' was meant to sift through the options.
Okay, the spell itself only costs 350,000 shmuckers. The support plan was 150,000. That means that the support plan was probably really important. So let's assume there are infinite universes. (We already know there has to be at least two.) So there are multiple universes that fit Stanley's specifications for the perfect warlord. Such as, say, a universe where there's an incredible leader that literally eats the 'marbit' creatures for breakfast. The support plan sifts through the possibilities to find the warlord that fits the spirit of the summoning, instead of just the letter. So some where out there is the perfect warlord Stanley wanted...
Ansom is a brilliant tactician... when in his element.
This
Wanda and Jillian represent Parson's conflicted feelings over Ashna.
Apart from differences in coloring and hairstyle, Wanda and Jillian could be clones of each other, and they both share some resemblance to Ashna, Parson's girl-gamer friend from the real world. Wanda appreciates his intellect and tries to look out for him when she can (like protecting him from Stanley's wrath after disrupting the linked Thinkamancers) but is ultimately dispassionate; Jillian is hot-blooded and fiery but couldn't care less that Parson exists at all. The two sharing a Fate and a sexual relationship only links them further, as they really are two sides of the same coin.
Parson and Maggie have romantic feelings toward one another.
Parson particularly enjoys conversation with her, and she's his most frequent partner on his "rounds" during the summer updates between Book 1 and Book 2. n these same updates, he repeatedly complements her fashion sense, resulting in her coyly looking away and smiling. He's teaching her to loosen up and actually joke around a bit. And then, there was the whole "sex" conversation they had, during which:
-She raised the issue of his sex life.
-He asked if it was possible to command an Archon to have sex with him, hypothetically.
-Her eyes //flashed// and she emphasized that he could do this with ANY unit. (which, what with the eye flash and the smile, is somewhat suggestive on its own)
-He expressed distaste at with the entire possibility, finding it morally abhorrent. She found this odd, but "charming".
-She then took him by the arm and continued chatting/joking with him about his sex life.
And during this time, she has risked arguing with Stanley on his behalf when he was demoted/resigned from his position as Chief Warlord... And actually took the risky initiative of utilizing a loophole to brainwash Stanley into returning Parson's position.
The Arkenpliers didn't allow Wanda to uncroak/decrypt the new types of units.
Her experience with one of the most unorthodox uncroakings in existence did. The Arkenpliers just turned the uncroaking into decrypting.
The fourth Arkentool is a Dirtamancy-aligned shovel, but it's not the Arkenshovel, and Sizemore doesn't get it (at first).
It's called the Arkenspoon, and Charlie took it from its original resting place. It's a spoon sized for the Titans, and Charlie can't use other Arkentools, being an Arkentool himself or having attuned to a different Arkentool and only having Archon units.
Charlie is Parson's dad.
Because that's just how these things go.
The story of Erfworld is really about the struggle between Parson and Charlie.
The leader of the Hippiemancers claims that Parson will break the rules of Erfworld that keep it in a state of perpetual warfare that makes true peace impossible. Charlie is an amoral war consultant who uses this warfare to increase his own power and fortune and he knows the rules of Erfworld inside and out. He is an embodiment of the system that Parson is meant to break. This is probably one reason Charlie is so unnerved by Parson: he knows that Parson can potentially ruin the system in Erfworld, and Charlie needs that system to survive.
Charlie is a living embodiment of Erfworld's principle of endless conflict.
Erfworld is a system designed to constantly drive war between its inhabitants. Charlie is the embodiment of that system; he lives only to drive conflict between Erfworld's sides, since that is what Erfworld is for (and hence, what he is for). He still needs to work within Erfworld's rules (embodying the rules means he needs to follow them), which is why he has to work as a side (albeit a side which stretches the definition of the term as far as it can go and still apply). He also has the Arkendish and almost exclusively uses archons because they are most suited to his purposes. This is why Charlie was initially excited by Parson (he imagined Parson's patently unique take on the rules could be used to drive conflict like nothing else) and ultimately horrified by him (upon realising that Parson is not only not constrained by the rules, he exists to actively break them).
Parson will get the chance to destroy Jetstone by killing its leadership, but he won't do it.
At the end of book 1, it's shown that Parson's sick of warfare and killing. Currently, Parson is in the middle of exploiting the rules in order to mount a comeback after Charlie's stunt left Wanda in great danger. Interestingly, however, the current Chief Warlord on the Royal's side is Tramennis the diplomat, who wanted to meet Parson and has also called for parley to discuss surrender terms (under the assumption that Wanda's position is hopeless), and Parson has decided to use the portals to and from the Magic Kingdom to supervise the battle in person. After Parson's little "food fight" is over, the Royals are going to have the tables turned on them, ending up surrounded by enemies and unable to retreat - at which point Parson will go onto the battlefield himself and take Tramennis up on his offer to negotiate.
Caesar will stage a coup.
During the summer updates, Don King really bought into the Royal line of thinking, and even tried to get his Heir Designate Caesar killed in a trap battle with Carpool. One of the drawbacks to a royal side is that a Royal heir can splinter off and form their own side, but one of the theories about how to "end" Erfworld is the elimination of Royal sides. Caesar would be more than likely to just stand aside in the Tool War, and let other factions beat the snot out of each other while strengthening his side, maybe even becoming completely neutral.
All units affected by Arkentools are loyal to their masters in the Stupidworld sense of "loyal" not the Erfworld sense of "Loyal"
This is why Ansom is so immune to normal Turnamancy: Jillian needs to convince him to turn away from what he sees as "the path of the Titans" instead of just using Vanna to zap him back to her side. Likewise, Charlie takes pains to make sure that the Archons worship him unconditionally, without relying on the innate Loyalty to a side that all units are imbued with upon popping. Stanley has it easy, as the dwagons he tames or pops are non-sentient and therefore can be controlled easier than sentient units.
The four Arkentools combine to activate some sort of creationism spell.
Possibly Retconjuration, if that's not a Red Herring Author's Saving Throw. The Arkenpliers give true life (if fragile, assuming you don't consider uncroaked units to be Came Back Wrong and decrypting to be a Cast from Hit Points version of normal life), the Arkenhammer gives spirit/souls (with the power of rocking out, and the difference between a world of golems and a world of beings), the Arkendish gives Natural and unnatural Thinkamancy (and natural Mathamancy, yadda yadda)... And the fourth Arkentool is based on the Stuffamancy side of things (Dirtamancy?), the actual "let there be erf" stuff, the fashioning of bodies from clay.
Alternately, they let you through the most wicked Rock concert ever, awesome enough to alter the work of the Titans. The Arkenhammer provides the rockage (and lead guitar), the Arkendish amps everything up (and is a drum), the Arkenpliers provide the backup dancers and archgroupies (their instrument depends on that of the Arkenwhatsit. Perhaps keytar?), and the Arkenwhatsit provides something (an actual stage, to be imbued with the idea of a stage that the Arkenhammer projects? If a dirtomancy shovel, it is obviously the bass). If this is the case, there's a two-to-one chance against it simply being a way to call down the Titans.
There are exactly four titans.
I always assumed so, but according to the Erfworld wiki there are only confirmed to be "at least three". It fits with the four (known) Arkentools that were left behind.
There is a fifth Arkentool, unknown to Gobwin Knob and the surrounding sides.
It's completely and utterly unimportant, but also completely and utterly inaccessable, and its only purpose is to subvert the Gotta Catch 'Em All mindset that Stanley and Wanda seem to have gotten into. The world is bigger than just the local conflicts (we know that supposedly nobody actually knows how far the land extends), and why else would the Stupid Meal have said "four known Arkentools" when it so rarely gives usefully comprehensive information?
The Arkenhammer is a Carnymancy artifact.
It's been guessed on the Erfworld wiki already. It looks like a carnival prize (compared to the more realistic-tool looks of the Arkenpliers and the Arkendish), it does flashy things, and its ability to tame Dwagons is a reference to lion-taming. I'm mostly adding this guess to post the sub-guess that its ability to turn one in three walnuts it cracks into doves is a reference to not only making doves appear, but even more so that it is a reference to the shell game where something is hidden in one (or none) of three walnut shells, or a round nut is hidden under one (or none) of three containers. Additionally, mallets like less-squeaky versions of the Arkenhammer are used in Test Your Strength games at carnivals.
Guesses for the remaining Arkentool(s).
Most of these guesses assume that the visual aspect of the Arkentools have some relation to their function. Feel free to disregard the physical aspect portion of guesses for what the remaining Arkentool(s) might be able to do. Feel free to add your own ideas to this guess!
Each Arkentool has a Unit Type associated with it, and may govern the existence of the species throughout all of Erfworld.
There are no Gobwins left, and/or Charlie has nothing to do with their absence.
It's a common theory in other places that Charlie has something to do with the lack of Gobwins in Gobwin Knob after Book 1, and that it is either to mess with Parson or serve some additional purpose. I thought it might be worth an "In B4" guess.
That's why his(her? its?) stand-in image during Thinkamancy calls takes the form of Marshmallow Bits when not providing some more blatant real-world reference indicative of a deeper meaning!
Charlie's real appearance will be based on Charles Xavier
Well, he is a Thinkamancer called "Charlie". Plus, Arkendish is like his Cerebro.
Jillian is/was a typical rebel teenager.
The way she discribes herself and the fact that her description was as blatently as contrary to her father as possable reminds me of that steriotype. She appears to love her father deep down and genuenly share his ideals. If you listen to the Don Kings description of what she is like it sounds like she rejects all the royalty stuff just to reject it, she actually seems to buy the Don Kings description of how the world should work. As she grows up and her rebel phase is coming to a close she is now becoming something like the daughter her father wanted.
The fourth tool is a teapot or kettle and somebody from TV will attune to it.
The Titans are the real villains of the comic
The Titans created a world where conflict and suffering are the inevitable outcome of the world's mechanics for their own entertainment — taking the hobbies of a wargamer like Parson and playing them with living, sentient, suffering lives instead of bits of pewter. When, in spite of the odds, some societies apparently managed to develop into more than military machines (e.g. Faq under Banhammer), the Titans decided to stir the pot, so to speak, by leading people to the Arkentools stir up wars and challenge royalty. Toolism and Royalism are both correct in terms of the Titans giving both a mandate to rule. The problem is that the Titans are moral monsters who gave mandates to both the Attuned and the Royals knowing full well that the contradictory Titanic mandates would lead to war and death — which is the reason they created Erfworld in the first place.
Both Toolists and Royalists are playing by the Titans' rules. Parson's ultimate battle will be to reject the Titans, help the Erfworlders claim the world as their own, and find some way of breaking the rules so much that the Titans lose their power. Both of the Titanic factions (Toolist and Royalist) will reject this (although whether they will put aside their differences and make peace with each other to stop Parson is another question — most likely not). On the other hand, Parson will not be without allies who see that there is more to what's right than the Titans' will. Sizemore is one probable ally, along with Janis. Other less expected allies might be Ossomer* and Charlie *.
More than one person can attune to the same Arkentool, and/or one person can attune to more than one Arkentool
Parson, for example, would truly be the Perfect Warlord if he could attune to all the Arkentools. He seems to have managed not to touch the 'hammer or 'pliers yet, somehow, so it's still on the table.
The Real World puns and shout-outs will eventually become unrecognizable to Parson
As time moves on in Earth society, memes and puns will show up that puzzle Parson instead of being instantly recognizable to him. He'll realize that Erfworld shares a connection to this world, and either try to figure out what it means for both worlds or what it means for him personally. Probably both.
Charlie's being paid in full for the use of his Decrypted archons
We've already seen that Decryption removes a unit's upkeep cost to its controller without eliminating the goods and services (such as field rations) paid for by that upkeep, meaning that the Arkentools can directly add value into the economic system. Note the implication that a force outside the known world and with potentially unlimited cash is now paying upkeep to and receiving loyalty from the unit. The Decrypted archons believe that their permanent service, including potential opposition to Charlie's forces and following suicidal orders, is being paid for by an extremely expensive standardized contract (such a contract type exists, though Charlie... discourages its use).
The guess is that the easiest way to Decrypt archons (which theoretically means opposing an Arkentool oriented towards mental connection, if not control) means letting this be correct: Charlie is actually getting paid for those archons, and paid highly. In fact, this is the exact reason he can now afford to be doing work that isn't purely mercenary.
Stanley will promote Maggie or Parson to Overlord and become a Warlord
He misses participating in battles. Inner Peace (Through Superior Firepower) reveals casters can also be rulers. Maggie is based on a real-world politician There are eight Arkentools
Given what we know about the Arkentools we can assume that attunement is governed by Fate magic. Now if it turns out that each Arkentool is, itself, a representation of each type of fate magic that would mean that there are eight tools. We can be sure or infer that the Pliers are the representation of croakmancy and that the Dish is the representation of Thinkamancy. The problem is that we don't know what the Hammer represents, but we can make an educated guess that it's Changemancy. However, until we know for sure what changemancy is, this theory has holes. The alternative is that the Hammer is the representation of carnymancy.
Erfworld isn't a single world, it's a collection of worlds
Each different world represents a single aspect of our world. Parson is in the world based around war. Units and objects don't really "pop" and "depop", they are actually teleported between worlds. Schmuckers are the Global Currency for all the worlds, not just all the sides in war-world.
For instance, to elaborate on how farms work The original Slately is the one who died, not the clone
In Book 0, Jillian croaks Olive Branch
Wanda said she was fated to croak "the Ruler of Haffaton". Not that it was the current Ruler, and it doesn't preclude her from croaking two of its Rulers.
Olive Branch got to where she is with a 'uncroaked a volcano' scenario.
Only instead of blowing up a long-dead volcano, she turned a city into a poisonous wasteland, leaving only herself as the survivor of a massive battle.
At least when building royal warlords a simulation of genetics takes place.
I refer to the three princes of Jetsone as proof in order of their age Tramennis, Ansom and Ossomer Tramennis and Ansome have in common blonde hair while Ossomer is a brunette, we know that King Slately was in love with his Dollamancer Holly Shortcake my theory is that any sons or daughters Slately produced while she was alive got at least part of their Sygnamancy, the blond hair, from her as asimulation of the king really conceveing a child with her.
We know that Holly unfortunately croaked at one point and I assume Ossomore was produced after that moment thus not getting any Sygnamancy from her, furthermore we know that Ossomore got along well with Ace Hardware Holly's replacement this might be because he had never met Holly thus he was judging Ace on his own merits and not comparing.
Another aspect of this simulation might be psychological Ossomer is described as militaristic like the city which created him, this might be evidence his "mom" was from the same city and a simulation of growing up in that city.
Parson's otherworldly nature will affect his combat ability
From text updates, particularly Book 0, we see that Erfworld's combat doesn't run entirely on numbers and dice. The decisions people make in a fight do have an impact; Clay the Luckamancer says as much. However, Parson comes from a world where people's decisions are the primary variable. He may be inexperienced in combat, but he isn't going to swing his sword and hope for a crit. He's going to have better situation awareness than similarly inexperienced units. It may work the other way too. Most units have to contend with random chance and Fate fudging their rolls. But Parson was summoned with such powerful Fate magic, he may "roll" natural 20s every time. Or maybe he doesn't even need dice. Charlie's arkendish has sway over more creatures than just archons
Both the arkenhammer and the arkenpliers are linked to a wide variety of creatures. The arkenhammer is connected to, at the very least, all species of dwagons, ohrlies and pidgeons. Considering some of its other abilities (shoot lightning, flying), it may be linked to skyborne beasts in general. The arkenpliers are linked to both the decrypted and the uncroaked, two incredibly diverse groups. However, we have only ever seen the arkendish linked to archons, suggesting we haven't seen its full capabilties.
Now based on the archons, what category of creatures could the arkendish be linked to?
The support plan was given freely
Since the casters who made the spell to summon Parson did so for their own reasons, it's unlikely for them to have given less service to the buyer, even with decreased payment. Part of the support plan took the form of the items Parson was given at breakfast every morning.
The support plan would not have changed anything
... Besides making Gobwin Knob 150,000 schmuckers poorer. Parson really is the perfect man for the job. Whatever that is.
Parson will wish himself home with the Arkenshoes, though they'll not go with him.
If the Arkenshoes fit with the Wizard of Oz theme of Haffaton's emerald city, (and that Charlie's preference for blue indicated he was involved with that city at some point), the Arkenshoes will wish Parson home. Now to FIND them, there's the rub.
Jack isn't really dead, despite the croaked eyes
He's Just Hiding. Specifically: it makes sense for Foolamancers to be able to change their own Signamancy even if they don't have the juice to do anything else. And Jack is playing dead because a) It makes tactical sense to mislead the enemy at this point and b) He really is a terrible troll who would totally fake being dead just For the Lulz. Third time he dies though, it'll stick.
Charlie originally kept his mercenary base at the emerald capitol of Haffaton, then moved to Charlescomm's new capitol city.
"He prefers blue now." If Charlie is the dangerouser version of the Wizard of Oz, then yes, it is him. He just sold the city for a nice sum to bolster his fortress to a well-defended Level 5 and pay for all those Archons.
Parson will stay in Erfworld permanently
In Erfworld he is a powerful leader and force for change, on earth...he isn't. Plus the fact that he is adapting to his new home, going back could be harmful to him.
Charlie's Archons in Book 0 were intentionally helping Jillian
Consider Charlie's perspective, with what he knows. He knows Olive Branch is with Haffaton. Olive Branch is his patricidal, fratricidal daughter. Assume Charlie also knows the situation in Haffaton (which is likely). That Olive is controlling his old ally Judy, and that Haffaton is a decaying husk of a Side. Now, being that he has no apparent reason to help Olive, why would his Archons have offered to capture Jillian for Haffaton? One possible answer is that it was a pretense to show Jillian something she needed to know, without giving the information directly. By finding her and contacting (or pretending to contact) Haffaton, then doing nothing, Jillian deduced that Haffaton couldn't afford Charlie's services. Which led to her passing the information on to Faq. Which led to Faq invading Haffaton, which led to Judy Gale's departure from Erf and Olive Branch's capture. Charlie may have orchestrated all of this without seeming to have been involved at all. Stanley Will Listen to Parson and Change the Capital
For whatever reason, he will decide to trust Parson and do what he says to save his hide. As of text update 058, this is just about confirmed.
Charlie is the cause of Jack's death
The purple dragon Jack was commanding failed to stop on command. We know that units generally understand the intent of their commander's orders...due to natural Thinkamancy. And we already know Charlie can screw with Thinkamancy.
Charlie is in the Magic Kingdom
The Arkendish, being a satellite dish, may allow someone attuned to it to use it without needed to touch it. This may extend to other hexes, even the Magic Kingdom. The select few archons who are supposedly the only ones who ever see Charlie are actually the ones he trusts most to guard the Dish itself.
And there are logical advantages to being in the Magic Kingdom. As a caster, he has allies there, and the only enemies there don't dare start something for fear of breaking neutrality (remember how they reacted to a warlord in the Magic Kingdom?). And nobody else can even get there; it's a casters only area. It also doesn't contradict his fear of Parson, as Parson is both willing and capable of finding him in the Magic Kingdom and killing him.
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