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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Ensign Sue Must Die
Ensign Sue was a Puella Magi at some point
Because it will be obvious for her to go for the God route like Madoka. This also explains why there was that last bit in the comic. It's like Madokami.
  • I have no idea what you're saying.
    • What the previous troper means, I think, is that the 'God Sue' at the end of the webcomic was in fact, Future!Ensign Sue, who'd done an Abstract Apotheosis, thus becoming a godlike figure, like Madoka in Puella Magi Madoka Magica, who uses the wish that will make her a Puella Magi into becoming the concept of hope. Sue did something similar, thus becoming God-Sue from the end.

Ensign Sue is really Q
Think about it. Which character in Star Trek is both a reality warper and a huge pain in the ass?
  • Trelaine? The REST OF THE Q CONTINUUM? Q isn't the only member of his race, you know...
    • They're all named Q.
  • Well, Anne May is claiming to be half-Q.

This series is a self-insert fanfic
That's why God is Sue.
  • Confirmed as of the finale of Ensign 2: The Wrath of Sue. She's also the real Big Bad.

Ensign Sue will become a normal person
She's already lost her Reality Warper powers, but is still an annoying, Sue-like person. Without her powers, the universe won't warp to conform to her view of the world, meaning she will have to change to suit it.

Kirk is not a Sue
  • The comic will have an in-depth look as to what equals a sue and what equals just another character, such as Chekov's new girlfriend or even Kirk himself and contrast them against Wolverine and Wesley for reasons. We might even get all philosophical with "all characters have the potential to be Sues" but that it's all in the execution.
  • Example, no true Sue would lose as many fights as reboot!Kirk does, or get so much shit thrown at them and only barely survive like in Into Darkness.
  • Another example: One of the key points of a Mary Sue character is that he/she is perfect, and so Sue is never wrong. No Mary-Sue ever doubts herself. In order to go into the Heroic BSOD at the end of comic 2, Kirk would have had to have doubted himself. And no Mary Sue ever does that.
  • Chekov's girlfriend will be used an example of a good original character, she doesn't overly interfere with the stories of the others and usually only shows up when needed, unlike say Wesley who was seemingly always needed.
  • And the person pointing all this out will be the original Sue.

Canon!Logan is not Woverine-Sue
The sue appearing in the comic is a Copycat Sue, mimicking all of Logan's powers and personality, but being "better" than him. Canon Logan has character flaws, and had black hair, whereas Wolvie-Sue probably has no flaws, and has blonde hair. (That, and I sorta think that Canon!Logan would spit take on seeing what he looks like in Ensign Two)

God!Sue is the spirit of Lt. Mary Sue
  • Well, think about it! She talks about returning to "their" world—presumably the Trekverse and specifically, the Enterprise, which although her origins lie in fanfiction is still technically her home canon. She is also the first character to refer to "Mary Sue" as opposed to simply "Sue". Admittedly, Ensign Sue herself is named Mary, but maybe she's just the reboot version of the original Lt. Mary Sue? She did seem pretty eager to think Kirk was ill and try to take command of the Enterprise... Perhaps God!Sue/Lt. Sue is bitter about her death in A Trekkie's Tale or that Ensign Sue isn't being accepted like she was. It would also fit the God motif—Lt. Sue was, after all, the original Mary Sue, initially a pastiche of annoying female self-inserts everywhere but ultimately the progenitor of an entire literary race: the Sues. Which basically makes Lt. Sue the Creator and God (Goddess?) of all Mary Sues.

Kirk and Spock will be able to shake off their Sue status.
  • The third volume will depict their slow realization that it isn't certain idealized traits and unlikely events that make one a Sue, but poorly handled characterization and writing. Kirk, Spock, Wolverine and the Doctor will acknowledge that they carry many warning signs for potential sues with their traits and backstories, and accepting this will give them the strength to challenge the Sue menace who lack their strong characterization. Perhaps even Ensign Sue will properly redeem herself after gaining some legitimate character development.

Ensign Sue is the daughter of God Sue.
  • God Sue “blessed” a mortal woman with her child, who happens to be Ensign Sue, much like how the Virgin Mary was blessed with a child of God (Jesus) in the Bible. Ensign Sue inherits her looks and psychic powers from her mother, who secretly takes away the latter when she’s brought back to the Enterprise from the Harry Potter universe. Plus, this would make a great Luke, I Am Your Father moment in Ensign 3.

Only one Sue can affect the universe at a time without being noticed.
That's why the Enterprise crew didn't fall for her charms: they already had Kirk as a "resident" Sue. The future crew was able to boot Anna Mae because Wesley occupied their universe's Sue slot. It's been speculated that the longer a Sue remains in a universe, the more they warp the characters' minds, but when the original landed in Harry Potter, her power was in full effect the moment she arrived, so that can't be it. Picard's...mannerisms...have some other explanation (maybe because Anna Mae, unlike Mary, seems to be malevolent instead of Obliviously Evil).

Sue!Spock is The Mole to the sues.
That's why he tried to get them to tell him their full plans. And if he were truly converted, wouldn't he be more enthusiastic about marrying Wolverine!Sue?

Ensign Sue would be the only able to defeat God Sue.
Ensign has started to go through a painful but necessary Character Development and has been gradually losing her Sue-ish-ness, but she's still the prototype God Sue created so she's the only one who can face the Sues' reality warping/mind alterning powers. Thanks to Character Development and discovering real empathy, she'll because an actual Chosen One.

Denny Crane is actually Prime!Kirk.
With Prime!Spock subdued and frozen in carbonite, Captain James T. Kirk attempts to reach his alternate counterpart without attracting the attention of the Sues. After all, who is more likely to be noticed? The famous prime counterpart of James Kirk, a possible Sue, or an attorney agent from Boston in the early stages of Alzheimer's?

Alternatively, it's the man himself, using an alias from one of his previous roles.

Prime!Kirk will appear at some point.
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