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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Donkey Kong Country

The ropes in the Donkey Kong Universe are not ropes.
They're some kind of living organism with the ability to levitate in the air. This also goes for the rigging in DKC2, the vines in DK64 and possibly the conveyer ropes in DKC3. When they die, they turn into ghost ropes (as seen in DKC2's Ghostly Grove).
  • Adding to that, the "vines" in DK64 have leaves on top that resemble helicopter propellers.
  • And now, thanks to Returns, proven. Any vines that move around unnaturally are part of bulbous living things.

The Kremlings themselves have no real vendetta against the Kong Clan.
Look at their track record, so far; two if their members (at least) have agreed to at least surreptitiously help the Kongs (Klubba in DKC2 and K. Lumsy in DK64), and they have deposed their own leader at least once (in DKC3) due to how bad his plans to get at the Kongs keep screwing themselves over. Clearly, if the Kremlings didn't have a grudge against the Kongs themselves, they certainly stopped having one sometime during the series' timeline; it's K. Rool, stubborn Caligula that he is, that is keeping the war alive by pushing his own personal Kong hatred on his subjects.
  • This seems very probable. Wrinkly Kong apparently teaches Kongs and Kremlings alike so that, even if they get along uneasily, they aren't enemies in any real sense.

King K. Rool was overthrown specifically because of his war with the Kongs.
Think about it - those factories had clearly been running for a long time. If their goal was just to take the resources of the island for themselves, they were on the fast track to getting it! Why would they instigate a war with the only person who could stop them, and what possible need would they have for his bananas? They took it because K. Rool hates the Kongs, and it was a proverbial "Screw you" to the clan. This led to their entire plan failing, and during the Kremlings' revenge plan, their home turf got torn through. Now, who would ever keep a leader that incompetent in power?

The Donkey Kong Country games are hypnotic
Rareware released Donkey Kong Country as a mass hypnosis device disguised as a video game. Thousands of players fell under the spell of the game. Rareware were planning to control the minds of gamers to take over the world. Miyamoto saw through their plan before it was too late, and sold Rare off to Microsoft so they could no longer work on the Donkey Kong Country license. That's why Nintendo don't make any more Donkey Kong games - it's not because they don't give a shit about the fans, it's because they're trying to save us.
  • Also, the Game Boy Advance was designed to have awful sound quality and a dark screen - it weakened the power of the "games" when they were ported onto the system.
    • And the backlight/better sound on the SP, micro, and DS all secretly broadcast reverse subliminal messages. Also, since the games are based on real happenings, Miyamoto also liberated the Kongs from their secret mind control.
  • Certainly explains Stickerbrush Symphony...
this is obviously not true this is more of a case of being paranoid the reason you believe that is because people all around the world wanted to play this game because of the graphics well your wrong rare would never do such a thing like that and if they wanted too they would've unleashed their take over right that in 1994 if they were hyponotic they the games would certainly not be released on virtual console unlike the gameboy advance verison that verison is unedited and selling them to microsoft would not stop their plan they would have already succeeded and even if they didn't they would just make another hyponotic game for the xbox 360
  • Cool story bro!

The Zingers were the result of genetic engineering by the Kremlings
Take a look at them. They're giant bees. With spikes on them. And large wings too. They later went rogue, explaining the beehive in DKC2 (which I haven't played but only read about).
  • It's not the Zingers that were genetically engineered by the Kremlings; they're simply a large species of bee native in the Donkey Kong Country world. No, the insects that were created by the Kremlings were the Buzz, instead; notice how they have working buzzsaws on their backs! Most unnatural.
    • Fridge Horror moment: The Buzz appeared in DKC3 and the Zingers are nowhere to be found. In the first DKC, one of the bosses was the "Queen Bee", followed by King Zing in DKC2. Did the DKs just commit genocide against the Zingers?
    • Theres more:The Zingers are never shown attacking other than the King and Queen. That means that you've been killing a species that's just working on instinct that K.Rool placed where it would be convenient for you to die. Now granted it was still self defense but the Queen attacked because you killed her children and the King attacked because your attacking his hive and one of you killed his wife. The Zingers may not be extinct though, just endagered, but the lack of them led the Kremlings to create a new race.

Donkey Kong killed Mario's father
I'm sure by now we have all made friends with the fact that if the Donkey Kong Arcade Donkey Kong (alias Cranky Kong) is the current DK's father, then the explanation for why Cranky aged so much whereas Mario still seems the same is that Jumpman is current Mario's father. If that's the case, then the current Donkey Kong, back when he was just a wee little Donkey Kong Junior, killed Jumpman to rescue his old man in Donkey Kong Junior. This has two Unfortunate Implications: one is that Mario is now palling around with the ape that murdered his father, and the second is that Cranky treats DK like crap even though he murdered his arch-enemy and saved his life.
  • Actually, Jumpman never died. He and Pauline got married and eventually gave birth to Mario and Luigi.
    • Which means Mario Vs. Donkey Kong and it's sequel actually feature the original Jumpman and Donkey Kong.
    • Or it's possible that Jumpman is Mario, and whatever kind of ape Cranky and DK are simply ages faster than humans. After all, humans live much longer than most other animals in Real Life.
    • Or maybe both the Mario universe and the Donkey Kong universe are separate, and that Donkey Kong Jr. as he appears in Game Boy Donkey Kong is exclusive to the Mario universe (his DKU equivalent would be Diddy Kong, except that he is not DK's son).
    • Or maybe Super Mushrooms are some kind of anti-aging drug and Mario is waay, waaaay older than he looks.
  • Or, if the original theory is true, Mario forgave DK for what he did, because to be frank, Jumpman kinda brought it on himself when he kidnapped Cranky.

DK is the result of Parental Incest.
  • Ever notice how Cranky Kong is sometimes said to be his father & other times his grandfather? Why not both?

Donkey Kong Jungle Beat is a prequel to the Donkey Kong Country series!
The Donkey Kong in this version is in fact the original Donkey Kong, the one from the arcade game that tussled with Mario / Jumpman. After that series was over, he went traveling, and discovered DK Island. This is where Donkey Kong Jungle Beat is in fact set, but before any of the familiar DKC characters were born or (in the case of the Kremlings) had arrived there yet. The original rulers were the Kongs from this game, which DK / Cranky defeated. Having become the King of the Jungle, he renamed the Island after himself and raised a family there...
  • That may explain the absence of his Animal Buddies.
    • ...as well as DK's more aggressive personality in DKJB. He had just recently quit kidnapping people and was still working through some anger issues.

The species we know as "Kong" is related to Pokemon...
...and has a highly divergent evolution line. Hence why they're all Kongs, yet clearly of wildly different species, how DK somehow to the chimp Junior, and so on. At various times in their lives they evolve into a new form resembing a different species, which species depending on personality and such.

Donkey Kong Jungle Beat is actually a theatrical re-enactment.
Here are the things supporting this theory:
  • The game begins with a curtain made of leaves, and you hear an audience indistinctly chattering. Clapping brings up some spotlights, you hear a buzzer, and the audience bursts into applause when the curtain rises and Donkey Kong first appears.
  • The first level of the game is named "Opening Ceremony".
  • Whenever transitioning to a new level, menu, or what have you, the curtain drops, then raises to reveal the next screen.
  • As Donkey builds combos or whenever he's preparing to give beatdowns to enemies, you can hear the audience cheer him on.

To paraphrase a similar theory on Super Mario Bros. 3, Donkey Kong Jungle Beat never happened. It was all just a stage show. A play. Donkey Kong was never once in any real danger. You were merely the audience.

Dixie Kong is Haruhi.
Krocodile Isle was just a world of her own creation used to spend time with her love, Diddy Kong. Kaptain K. Rool just happened to take Donkey Kong there thinking it was a safe haven for Kremlings.

Diddy Kong is retconned into Donkey Kong Junior.
Originally for the first DKC, DK Jr. was gonna be a monkey. But Executive Meddling want them to either make him a new character or use DK Jr.'s original design. So Rare changed the monkey's name to Diddy.

Now that its said the DK who's the main hero is the same DK who fought Mario, it could be possible that Diddy was the one who fought Mario and rescued DK.
  • Except that this has been Jossed by every single game under Nintendo's full ownership of the series since Mario vs. Donkey Kong.

Klubba and Kudgel are related.
They just not only look identical, they could be brothers, even twins.

What Knocka, Klasp, and Kuchuka really look like.
Knocka is Kobble, Klasp is Re-Koil, and Kuchuka is Skidda.

Excepting Kerozene, none of the bosses in DKC2 are affiliated with K. Rool
  • Krow: He clearly took up residence in the Gangplank Galleon. He's simply protecting his territory.
  • Kleever: A cursed sword filled with hate who attacks anyone who enters its volcano.
  • Kudgel: A bayou bumpkin who wants you off his property
  • King Zing: You're invading his hive, killed his wife, and attack his men. Guess.
  • Kreepy Krow: YOU KILLED HIM! He obviously wants revenge.

Tiny Kong was clinically depressed during the events of Donkey Kong 64
In all games aside from that one, she looks like a teen or young adult, but in that one game she resembled a little girl. Remember how "She can shrink in size to suit her mood"?

The Gloomy Galleon and Creepy Castle
Are the result of Diddys Kong Quest, Crocodile Isle sank leaving the ruins the metal island is parked beside and Creepy Castle is K.Rools Keep kept aloft due to whatever magic was blasted into it.

The Kremling Krew killed Donkey Kong Jr.
According to multiple games, Cranky Kong is the original arcade Donkey Kong. This makes Donkey Kong Jr. Cranky's son. The current Donkey Kong is sometimes called Cranky's son, and sometimes his grandson. Most recently however, in Donkey Kong Country Returns, he's his grandson. Cranky also often says that DK will never know what is was like in the 8-bit days, meaning DK's probably not Junior. Junior is probably the current DK's father.

Regardless, Cranky claimed to have raised Donkey Kong in Returns, implying something happened to Junior. So what happened? The Kremling Krew invaded DK Island. While conquering the island, they split the Kong family into two groups, one of which went into hiding and would not come back until Donkey Kong Jungle Beat where they tried to take over the island. The other group of Kongs, led by the original Donkey Kong (Cranky), went to war with the Kremling Krew.

King K. Rool was just a child at the time, and went crazy from the horrors of war. Donkey Kong Jr. and his wife died during the war, and could not raise their children (The current DK, and one of Diddy Kong's future parents). The original Donkey Kong developed anger issues from fighting in the war and the death of his son, and changed his name to Cranky Kong. DK and his sibling(s) were raised by Cranky. Cranky's dispointment in DK and Diddy come from feeling that they don't live up to the expectations set by Junior, who also saved Cranky from Mario.

King K. Rool/Kaptain K. Rool/Baron K. Roolenstein gets up many times because he has extra lives from the bananas he stole from Donkey Kong Island

The blue parrot from DKC2 is Polly Roger from the cartoon
They're even the same color and as the blue parrot has never actually been confirmed as Quawks unlike the purple parrot it's possible the blue one is Polly Roger.

Donkey Kong is Donkey Kong Jr.'s Son
Yeah, this isn't so much a Wild Mass Guessing as it is simple math, but it is mind blowing. Think about it: Cranky Kong is the original Donkey Kong in the arcade games Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. Donkey Kong Jr. Is Donkey Kong's son. And, again, Original Donkey Kong = Cranky Kong. Now, we also know Cranky Kong is Donkey Kong's Grandpa, not his father. We also never really see Donkey Kong's dad. Therefor, it can only be assumed that Donkey Kong Jr. is in fact, Donkey Kong's dad!

King K. Rool created the Crystal Coconut from the cartoon.
In The Legend of the Crystal Coconut when DK asked the tiki god Inka Dinka Doo to tell him all the secrets of the Crystal Coconut and his reply: "To know everything, you must give up everything". As the episode reveals Inka isn't even the creator of the Crystal Coconut and thus would likely only know at the very least who the creator id and judging from his reply to DK about giving up everything in order to obtain the secrets of the Crystal Coconut the creator of the Crystal Coconut isn't someone you want to go anywhere near....

Why do I suspect King K. Rool? When he recieved the Crystal Coconut in The Legend of the Crystal Coconut he acted as if he was already the current ruler despite the fact that when DK recieved it he was merely declared future ruler and not current ruler... In all likelyhood the creator of the Crystal Coconut would be the only one capable of using the Crystal Coconut's full power and so King K. Rool is likely the only suspect especially considering how it was originally stolen by Skurvy's Great Great Grandpappy who was called a prince and would most likely would have been part of King K. Rool's royal court!

Donkey KongWMG/Video GamesDonkey Kong Country Returns

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