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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Despicable Me
Minions are ermaphrodite and sterile
Gru sees them as males because...he‘s a male and the Minions themselves don‘t mind.

Minions don‘t understand any concept related to gender and sexes.
That was made by Gru so that they wouldn‘t underestimate enemies because of gender.

All Minions are either asexual or gay.
They‘re all males. And there were two Minions kissing each other.

Ubisoft will make a crossover video game called Rabbids Vs. Minions
Since Rabbids and Minions are so similar to each other, Ubisoft might as well use it to their advantage and make a licensed Despicable Me game which involves the Rabbids fighting against the Minions in a kid friendly online team-based action game.

The children will become the next Addams family
. Eventually the kids will have seen so many aspects of Gru's job, that they'll consider it normal.

Gru and his crew could become crimefighters by the end of the sequel.
Think of it, Gru has been more than cut off from support by The Bank of Evil, he may have also inadvertently killed the Bank President's son.

Doubtless, the bank president is going to retaliate and that could mean targeting the girls to draw him out into a place to make an example of Gru. Now, imagine a open battle where Gru and his Minions are fighting the Bank President's forces where the media sees them and interpret it as Gru appearing to performing a rescue operation for children against long odds. Furthermore, there could be collateral damage, and Gru has a crisis of conscience and sends minions to deal with the damage since the girls would never forgive him if he didn't.

After Gru wins, rescues his daughters and exits the area, the authorities follow him to his house and make him a deal: since he obviously has made some powerful enemies with the criminal underworld and he himself has several pending charges himself, he could become a work release contractor providing his expertise to counter the massive international crimes that the governments can't seem to stop themselves and they will fund his operations.

Gru accepts on the condition that his daughters will be protected and he decides to start teaching them with special tutoring to enable them to defend themselves. The girls understand the situation and they nurse the idea of becoming Gru's Angels when they are older.
  • Love this idea, but Vector didn't die. He was seen dancing on the moon (Yeah.). He'll probably be rescued by his father and be back in time for the sequel.
    • It would still work. Even if Vector is alive, I can't see his dad being very happy about Gru ruining his plans and getting him stuck on the moon.

Alternative scenario leading to Gru turning superhero: After Vector is rescued from the moon by his dad, he accidentally maliciously lets it slip, to an entire convention of supervillains, that he knows Gru's weaknesses. All three of 'em. Suddenly, every supervillain in the world starts scheming at once—if they can get Gru's kids, they'll have him in the palm of their hands (or at the very least, can set traps for him). The way's opened for every villain who's ever had any beef with him. Ever.

Cue Gru suddenly realizing he's in the center of a very big bullseye as the attacks start piling up. Gru has to focus all of his technologies on defending himself from them instead of doing new evil deeds, and he eventually figures he might as well start making preemptive strikes on some other villains while they're still busy finishing off their last moves. Cue one of the girls (I'd imagine Edith) pointing out that—hey, if he's fighting supervillains, doesn't that make him kind of a super... hero? Liiightbuuulb. Superheroism might not be quite as lucrative as supervillainy, but you get much better PR, and—and—the Bank of Good offers much lower interest rates on loans!

The movie would then be about Gru's attempts to reinvent himself, all the while playing an effective Tower Defense Game with his home base to keep the girls safe. Unfortunately, in the list of skills Gru could bring to heroism, "not being a jerk" isn't really one of them, and he turns into the ultimate Hero with an F in Good. ("Note to self—after rescuing baby, do not take their candy!") And, of course, attempting to stop other villains makes him even more of a target.

Just for kicks, the title could be "Impeccable Me."

  • Confirmed to a degree with the sequel trailer. Gru gets abducted and hired by a secret organization to fight against some new evil. There isn't much more information than that.

Gru's mother really wanted a daughter, not a son.
The reason she's so hard on him is simply because he was born male instead of female. The only time she gives him her approval on anything is after he adopts three girls.
  • That would explain why she would dress up young Gru to look like a girl.

Gru trains the girls and they become a family of supervillains.
Well, the opposite idea has been posted, why not this one? The movie never really says that Gru cut off all ties with the criminal underworld, and the Bank of Evil can't be the only way to get funding for villainous plots.
  • They didn't seem to upset about Gru's plan to steal the moon, after all. You'd think if they cared they might say something like, "Hey, uh, what about the Tides and Weather?" But no, they don't.
    • Well, Agnes is too young to really understand why stealing the Moon is a very bad idea, Edith might be too young, and Margo is old enough, but...yeah, I wondered about that too.

Despicable Me takes place in the same universe as The Incredibles.
One of the common It Just Bugs Me's on the Incredibles is to wonder what happened to the supervillains. Well, here's your answer. Since the heroes were all in hiding, Mr. Perkins was able to set up the bank of evil, and Gru and Vector are able to run amuck with almost no opposition, except from each other.

It also takes place in the same universe as Phineas and Ferb
Gru is one of Doofenshmirtz's relatives, hence the neglecting mother and similar personality. He killed his neighbor's dog partly out of spite, partly because he's his nemesis.

Miss Hattie is a supervillain in hiding
She uses the fact that she runs an orphanage to do two things at one: get money from cookie sales and provide cover from suspicious eyes. She could possibly be still saving up for her grand unveiling, and may even be training some of the girls to be her minions.
  • That is actually the only reason for a tightwad like her to shell out money for the dance classes. It would teach her future minions coordination and agility so they can more easily master martial arts later on.

Miss Hattie is Dolores Umbridge
The physical appearance is uncanny, and the personality definitely fits. After the fall of Voldemort, she knew she would no longer be tolerated by the wizarding populace, so she fled to live amongst muggles. She took the name Miss Hattie and opened up an orphanage. It was an orphan that caused her downfall, so now she hates children (especially orphans) more than ever, and this is the best way to get back at them.
  • Actually J.K Rowling herself said that Dolores Umbridge was sent to Azkaban for her actions while Voldermort was in charge.
  • Maybe she broke out of jail.
    • This could very well be true. Who knows what happened to the dementors after the events of the seventh book? Rowling never really cleared up who or what is guarding Azkaban now.
      • Umbridge looks middle aged in Harry Potter. Miss Hattie looks like my grandmother. There is about a ten year gap from Deathly Hallows and this movie. And the accent... it sounds like someone who has spent some time in America, but is actually British. This makes so much sense and someone should go write a fanfiction of it.
    • Not to mention; the books make it clear that Umbridge despises muggles. So hiding among muggles would be the perfect thing to do to stay out of the hands of the wizard authorities, since it would be the last place they would look for her considering her reputation.
  • I have a theory similar to this. We never find out Miss Hattie's last name. Who's to say it isn't Umbridge? Miss Hattie is Dolores's Squib sister, made evil and bitter by being mistreated and looked down on by her family.

Vector will return in the sequel.
He'll get back to earth by holding on to the antigravity'd minion. And pushing himself. Somehow.
  • Jossed. Vector doesn't make any appearance in the sequel.

Dr. Nefario is Gru's Father
Gru doesn't know, of course. Ironic in the sense that Gru always wanted the attention of his mother, while neglecting the attention of his father.
  • When I first watched the movie, I actually thought that he was canonically his dad and that the mom had left him, because he thought he was a failure as well.
  • Seconded. The whole movie I was staring at their noses and there's a definite resemblance in their shape, even if Nefario's nose is angled differently. Nefario could be another relation, if not Gru's father. Uncle, maybe?

The Minions are a result of inbreeding and the girl in pink is a transvestite.
...what?
Gru and Vector are supposed to be Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, respectively
I mean, look at their styles, you can't tell me that Vector's stuff didn't come from Apple.
  • If you go after physical appearances, it's exactly reverse: Vector looks very much like Bill Gates, and Gru's appearance is definitely closer to Steve Jobs than Vector's.

Vector didn't really want to be a super villain... at first.
In the picture we see of him as a child, he is holding a shark toy. Perhaps he originally wanted to have a job involving marine life. However, his father thought that villainy would be a much more lucrative job (or he himself wanted to be a super villain and failed so he attempts to do so through his son). Vector gives in and does what his father tells him, eventually growing to like it to an extent. His inventions of the Squid Launcher and Piranha Gun (as well as the shark tank that serves as his living room floor) are his way of keeping his original interest in his new job as a villain.

There will be a tv series starring the minions.
Well, they ARE an Ensemble Dark Horse.

Gru is the Penguin.
Seriously, look at the nose. The body build. The habit of wearing a dark coat. Those minions? Really hyper-intelligent birds in minion costumes, who've learned to understand human speech and even created their own 'language' outside of birdsong. The reason for Gru looking more muscularly built than the Penguin? Oswald's lost a little weight during his time undercover. Something obviously happened to make the Penguin leave Gotham and take up a new alias, new villainous goals, and new gimmick - and whatever it was, it probably wasn't something very pretty...

The final title of the sequel will be Despicable Me Too!
It's just too much of a clever, awesome title to resist.
  • Lol, I was thinking just that.
    • Heck, they should make a prequel movie called "Despicable Me First"

Gru's mother is an aged Natascha.
Yes, that Natascha.
  • So that would make Boris Badanov his father. It explains the accent and why he wanted to go into villainy.
    • Not necessarily. Maybe his father is Bullwinkle. It would explain his long-suppressed heroic tendencies, and terrible luck.
      • That still describes Boris, though. Boris wasn't necessarily evil, just following orders.

Gru will be hunted down by a superhero in the sequel.
A superhero will start to clean up the crapsack supervillain world, but but wants to hunt down Gru, despite his heel face turn because he still caused a lot of damage.

The girls will find about his villainy and which will cause drama. And Gru will be punished because we can't just tell kids they can wreck havoc and get away scotch free be becoming a nice guy.

  • Although, if the hero is a James Bond expy, he will be the girls' real father and probably Lawful Stupid and/or a Inspector Javert. (The girls each have different mothers, because hey - Captain Ersatz James Bond). Then the girls have to choose between a Jerkass real father and Gru.

    • This could be resolved by the hero finding out about Gru's turn and how he saved the girls and lets Gru go free. Alternatively, he could make a full report about Gru's change of heart and his new dependents, and his superiors see an opportunity, leading the first idea on this page.

    • Now imagine that spy and/or superhero is female, which could give the sequel a romantic element to go with the crisis of conscience.

Vector is Mandark
Think about it. After getting foiled by Dexter repeatedly in his plans for world domination, Mandark moves to a new place, takes the named Vector, and commits crimes to get the mansion with security measures.
  • Whoa. Mandark's dad went from super-hippie to Lawful Evil supervillain/ bank manager in the space of about 15 years? What the hell happened to him?!
    • Maybe he's adopted.

Agnes is Boo from Monsters, Inc.
She's cheerful, loves fluffy things, and isn't phased at all about Gru's occupation (well none of the girls were). She also accepts Minions as people, possibly from her experiences with monsters. The only things that really upset her (besides being kidnapped by her guardian's arch nemesis) are being betrayed by people she loves, much like Boo was with Sully.
  • Oooh, I like this! Especially with the way she gets scared when she thinks the minions are a monster in her closet! (Mainly because their shadow is shaped similiar to Randall, you know, thin with skinny arms.)
  • Jossed (even though I would love this to be true), Boo's real name is Mary in Monster's Inc cannon.
    • Maybe Agnes is her middle name.

The girls will grow up to be super villains.
Or at least Edith will. Plus it would be cool.

The Minions are mutated clones of Gru
The first clue is when he calles the Minions his cousins. And then in the bonus short film it is said that all of the minions are mutated from the same DNA strand.

The one-eyed Minions are prototypes to the two-eyed ones.
In one scene, a minion blueprint is seen on the wall, marked "FINAL". The Minion on the blueprint has one eye. Now take into acount that all the one eyed minions basically all look alike, with the only noticable differences being hairstyles. Gru later created ones just like the one-eyed minions, only with two eyes, then went further on to create the fat and tall, skinny Minions. This could be evidenced by how the one-eyed Minions are the dumbest while the Tall, skinny ones seem like the smartest, which could imply updated intellegence through each version of Minion.

Vector was/is really a Woman.
Might just be me, but every genetically permanent sign of a female is there, the smaller ribcage, the larger hips...Also, you cannot deny that Vector ALREADY looks like Velma Dinkley with a bad haircut. SUPPORTING TROPES:

The banks finance the villains to distract the government from regulating the finance markets
After Lehman Brothers folded, there was a movement to establish stronger rules for banks and investment firms. To combat that, they established the bank of evil (by using Lehman Brothers as a starting point) and are investing in villians to spread as much fear as possible so that the governments have to deal with the villians first. If they make some profit while they are at it they wont complain about it, but it isn't a priority - not that they tell the villians that. But because Gru has brought hope back to the masses, he is now the #1 target of wall street.

Mr Perkins is the Evil Twin of the original Pointy-Haired Boss.

Since the minions are genetically engineered corn kernels, as said above...
...so, in other words, they are... Children of the Corn?

The pillars of the Bank of Evil, styled like assorted people being crushed under pillars, really were people crushed under pillars.
Someone sold the Bank of Evil the copyrights to a petrification ray (or knows where to get the liquid-metal stuff from Space Chimps), which the Bank used to punish anyone who couldn't repay their loans on time - but not before triggering the crushing pillar first to see how long they would last. The building's actual pillars are elsewhere. Seriously, those things cannot support any building.

Despicable Me takes place in the same universe as Kim Possible
. And Gru and Drakken are related to each other. Throw in Doofenshmirtz whilst we're at it. Imagine the girls growing up bad like Gru, and having to be taken down by Kim, Ron and Wade.

The sequel will be called "Despicable She".
Featuring a new (female!) supervillain who becomes Gru's rival.
  • But it will end with her falling in love with Gru and she becomes the kid's mother. Or maybe it'll just stick to Foe Yay.

Margo will grow up to be Mari Illustrious Makinamu
I mean, she looks like a tiny Mari. She will learn to be a Blood Knight due to her exposition with the villany of Dr. Gru.

Gru and Dr Eggman are related somehow.
They do look alike, don't they? Both are bald, have similar shaped heads, legs and body type. Give Gru a Badass Moustache, a few dozen pounds, some glasses and he'd look like Eggman. Either Gru is an ancestor(perhaps an uncle, since Gru has no reason to have any biological children), or he's a countepart. Specifically, a version of Robotnik from a universe without Mobians.
  • It's more likely that Gru is related to Dr.Evil
Gru used to be Johnny Snow.
After his Freeze Ray was mocked by Dr. Horrible (calling it an "ice beam"), Johnny became a villain, changing his name to Gru. His first theft: stealing the name from Dr. Horrible's Freeze Ray.

The girls will grow into the Beauty Brainsand Brawn trope.
As they grow older together, they'll adopt the standard girl trio differences from each other. That is if they don't take a bath in Chemical X first.

Vector didn't originally steal the Great Pyramid.
His mode of operation seems to be letting other villains do the work for him, robbing them, and then taking all the credit...yet we're supposed to believe Vector stole a pyramid all by himself? Methinks some other hardworking villain got screwed over by Vector and his dad before the start of the movie.

The Freeze Ray and Fart Gun will appear in the sequel.
They didn't get to be Chekhovs Guns in the first movie, but maybe...
"Under what circumstances would we use this?"

Despicable Me is an alternate version of Wanted.
If supervillains are actually able to set up a friggin' bank, then what the Hell else do they have? Could it be that the Bank's of a community very similar to the Fraternity...except that it's rules are like those of the Guild from the Venture Bros.

Vector's pyramid-stealing plan was actually stolen from another villain.
His father gave him Gru's moon-stealing plan. Who's to say he didn't rip off the pyramid heist from another client?

Gru's going to be a hell of a lot better as a villian...
Now that he has the girls to take care of. Gru only seems to work at his full capacity when the girls are at stake. Now that they rely on him for financial support, Gru's going to be pulling out all the stops in his heists and making sure that every attempt raises at least some profit.

Does "Super Silly Fun Land" still exist?
Consider: It's an Amusement Park that allows obviously rigged games, while Gru is a Papa Wolf with access to heavy artillery and no compunction about using it. They obviously spent a long time there, given all the stuff they come home with. Could the management afford to replace all those games, even assuming that the location isn't a single giant crater?
  • I presume it's not. I mean don't you ever try to play those carnival games at amusement parks? I haven't. But anyone with the sense knows those kind of games are rigged. I mean Agnes WAS getting upset and she's only like 3 years old at the most.

Minions are Mutated Kerbals
Or vice versa. They are the same size and look, the only real difference is Minions are yellow and Kerbals are green. Plus the Minions really liked the idea of stealing the Moon.

Minions is an in-universe children's book that Gru made.
The trailer states that Minions have been around since the dawn of time, but Orientation Day briefly implies that they were genetically modified. Why would the movie choose such an odd backstory for these creatures? Because it isn't a retcon. It's part of a story that Gru made one day in order to entertain his children. And what do children love more than these goofy yellow Minions? (probably a lot of things, but we're getting off track here.)


DC: The New FrontierWMG/Western Animation (Film)Despicable Me 2

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