This is the wild mass guessing page for Kpts4tv's run of Death Note Abridged.
Please be mindful of spoilers, unmarked or otherwise.
Light was framed. Souichiro killed L.
- The real L is revealed to be alive in Ask the Cast and Crew #3 but then Light shoots him soon afterwards. With a gun. Light Doesn't Like Guns — understable given that his own father once held a gun to his head and pretended to execute him. His dad, however is a Gun Nut and has been shown to have the ability to possess other people's bodies. He's also a Heteronormative Crusader giving him the motive for why he would kill L. He's trying to "cure" Light of his homosexuality from beyond the grave.
Step 3 is "seduce L" or if not Light wanted it to be.
- Yeah, "Seduce L" was Step 3 of another plan but then after losing L, Light always gets hung up on "what's step 3"? Perhaps it's out of the trauma of losing L...
and turn Near into a giant blueberry and become God of the New World.
Naomi is actually a hermaphrodite.
- Well (s)he has a very busty bod but hir voice is very masculine...
Near was a Shinigami plant at Wammy's House.
- And he subtly manipulated L into danger when the Shinigami decided He Knows Too Much.