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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Crystal Dragon Jesus
  • For thirty pieces of silver sphinx babies.
  • And then Obsidian Gryphon Judas stabbed himself with a silver stake.
  • In between all of that, he was denied 3 times by Copper Unicorn Simon(Peter), all before one of the 3 suns rose and the 3-headed cockatrice crowed.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is a Mon
  • The signs are all there: the crystals, the wings, living inside of small portable objects, being a dragon. The only difference is this Olympus Mons died for our sins.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is a senshi, or star entity.
Well, it's sealed in dragon form. Like Helios was in the anime or something.
  • Crystal Dragon Power, Make-up!

Crystal Dragon Jesus is actually a dinosaur
He was a vast, reptilian creature in ancient times. Eventually, he died, and the mud around him made a cast of his bones, then petrified. However, this happened close to natural carbon gas deposits, so instead of normal fossils forming, diamonds developed in the cast over the intervening millennia, creating the now-famous "crystal dragon" which many recognize as a savior today.

This explains their affinity with dragons, their tendency to see themselves as saving the world no matter their actions, and the source of their less explained powers - divine miracles! The Second Coming will arrive when one of them manages to return to the true draconic form.
  • Unfortunately, the Second Coming will not be a good thing...
  • Not necessarily, but Westeros had better cross its fingers.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is somehow related to Kamina
Because it might just sound cool. Or not......

He's simply a dragon that appeared as a human Messianic Archetype thanks to the Warp.

It had to be said. Besides, it's a dragon.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is not alone
There is also Crystal Dragon Brian.

Hence why so many universes, despite having little to no connection, have a Crystal Dragon Jesus religion. This is because the Crystal Dragon Jesus is a being who conquerors universe after universe, replacing the original pantheon with his. Sometimes he goes as far as taking the event of creation from them, thus there has always been a Crystal Dragon Jesus. Certain misinterpretations are much like how we interpret our Crystal Dragon Jesus. And why is he doing this? Crystal Dragon Jesus is actually the Jesus of The Bible, and the Crystal Dragon to YHWH Himself. Revelations has already happened, and YHWH is focusing His attention on other universes because either He wants to extend Salvation to everyone or can't take the fact there are supernatural beings not in His plan, and thus must eliminate them.


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