The Mythology we know is extremely exaggerated fan fiction.It was a multimedia franchise that got really, really popular, and the fans were so devoted they made statues and temples and fan fiction. All of Zeus's lovers are OC's. Today, we are making fanfiction of fanfiction. The reason the gods are so imperfect was because fans wanted to Flanderize the characters for the sake of humor.
Atlantis was the capital of the TitansIt was said that the Titans lorded over a golden age of human civilization, which probably meant Atlantis, which was an advanced utopia. During the Golden Age, humanity never had to work for food, because the earth (a metaphor for technology) provided everything for them. But because of their hubris, Atlantis was destroyed by the "Gods", and so were the Titans. The "Gods" referred here might as well be Zeus and his siblings, who led a rebellion against his father, Cronus, who in his hubris tried to kill off his children and rule forever. However, the destruction of Atlantis meant the end of the Golden Age, and now humanity had to scavenge under the tyranny of the Olympians who are still too immature and childish to lord another golden age, paving the way for Prometheus giving humanity fire to restore their Lost Technology (and perhaps allowing humanity to rebel against the Olympians just like how they rebelled against the Titans).
Haruhi Suzumiya is the last descendant of the Greek Gods.Specifically, the last child of Hera (Haruhi) and Zeus (Suzumiya). And because the Greek Gods are all dead thanks to Kratos' rebellion, Haruhi got all the Gods' Powers combined and became a near-omnipotent Reality Warper, and to escape the rebellion, hijacked a TARDIS and time-travelled to present-day Japan where she had amnesia. And of course, she also inherited the cosmos-sized ego and lust to boot, and that's why the other characters of the series should maintain her amnesia, lest.... Well, every WMG page should have at least one connecting it to Haruhi and the Time Lords.
Adjusting the above slightly, Yahweh simply got fed up of the Greek godsHe normally doesn't have much a problem with other gods until they pick on us, then he handles them.
The Titans actually represent another pantheon worshipped before the OlympiansThey weren't even demonised, since Chronos was apparently benevolent enough to lord over a "golden age". They simply were were buried by newer traditions, so mythology took that to a literal level.
Apollo and Dionysus are the same person.This is actually less a WMG than a potential bit of theology that is invoked by some Classical writers (I don't remember who all, could link later). We have two gods who are both gods of destruction (literally in the case of Apollo [Apollwn works best, I think, from Apollumi, "I destroy," given how vengeful and related to "acts of God" his cult is; more figuratively in Dionysus, who destroys as in removes structure) who occupy Delphi and grant prophecies (Dionysus occupies it during the winter months, or so the story goes). As such, both share a prophet/seemingly submissive role with a fertility goddess (Gaia in both instances; Dionysus occasionally when associated with Demeter/Cybele/etc.). Both are renowned for their good looks (Dionysus is a Bishounen while Apollo is the god of beauty) and are patrons of gays (Dionysus is specifically listed as the patron of what is the Greek equivalent of BLGT matters and would be the patron of such modern things as Mardi Gras; Apollo's most memorable loves are those with his [usually doomed] male lovers). Both have a thing against Thebes (Dionysus: Pentheus as Apollo: Oedipus, but then again everything happens in Thebes). Both are associated with retinues of musical women (Maenads and nymphs, and Muses and other nymphs)...the list goes on, from how the origin myths make the two foreign gods (Dionysus is the alien god who has been with the Greeks since the Minoan era, while Apollo is the native god with contradictory paths of origin and no record in Linear B) to various symbols (snakes, musical instruments) and an association with youth.
Aphrodite is a time-traveler.She wasn't born rising out of the foam; that's just the earliest time in history where she exists. At some point in her personal timeline after she's fully grown and incredibly beautiful, she gets her memory erased and is sent back in time to her "birth".
Athena would one day overthrow ZeusThe prophecy just stated that the child of Zeus and Metis would overthrow Zeus. Everyone just assumed this would only apply if it were a guy; because of cultural perceptions. A woman be the King of the Gods? As if.
Athena was a wholesome crossdresserGoing to above theory, Athena was actually a man, and knew that the best way to survive was to pretend that he wasn't the son that would overthrow Zeus.
Ares overthrew Zeus, with Athena and/or Hephaestus' help.Depending on the myth, Hephaestus may not have a father. Father-son competition and the prophecy would prevent Athena from overthrowing Zeus. This leaves Ares, however he wasn't the brains behind the operation. Athena wanted the position of Top God, but because of Greek opinion couldn't directly become one. Hepaestus wanted to get back at his Karma Houdini of a father. They teamed up to train Ares to assasinate his father, which Athena planned to use as a puppet ruler. Mars is the chief god of Rome because its Ares, who has ascended to that role. Athena is either subtly manipulating Ares/Mars, or Ares/Mars got smart and removed her. His Papa Bear tendencies is him being Genre Savvy to prevent what happened to his male ancestry happening to him again.
Hades really is planning to take over Zeus's throne, but for benevolent reasons.The God of the Underworld, being much more decent than the rest of the gods, is disgusted by their Jerkass tendencies and hates them all. He became ruler of the Underworld to both get some time away from the rest of the gods, and to have a good secret base to plan in secrecy.(His Helm of Darkness is handy too.) Building on this interpretation, Hades generally leaves man alone because he wants to avoid bad publicity with them, so one day when they get tired of the rest of the Jerkass Gods of the pantheon, Hades will suddenly be much more beloved and be in a good position to take over. He's building an army in the Underworld in secret from all the souls of the dead who come into his domain, hence why he is so harsh on anyone who dares try to cheat death or bring someone Back from the Dead, thus depriving him of new recruits. He kidnapped Persephone in order to have an accomplice with which to plan, and a way of ensuring her mother Demeter's loyalty when the time comes to actually move against their brother, which is why he is so protective of her; in addition to being his wife, she also knows a lot of crucial information about his scheme and is too valuable in influencing Demeter to lose. However, one of the other gods(or perhaps a mortal) found out about the plan, but wasn't believed by the other gods. So, they launched a campaign of Malicious Slander in an attempt to make Hades look like a God of Evil, which is why Everybody Hates Hades. However, the backlash against this slander will cause the intelligent fans of Classical Mythology to try to improve Hades's reputation. Phase one is his positive portrayal in The Percy Jackson Books. All of the above is part of Hades's plan.
Hephaestus is somehow related to the CyclopesBoth:
Hephaestus is an early Spark, possibly a HeterodyneIt fits in with his general characterization. Hephaestus's robots could have been clanks, and his assistants and/or the Cyclopes could have been constructs.
Caeneus asked for that gender flip not simply so that no man would victimize her, but to get revenge on Poseidon.
Tartarus was a Lovable TraitorOne of the lesser known facts about Tartarus was that in addition to being the closest thing the greeks had to Hell, he was also a deity like Gaia (and shacked up with her a few times, as well). He was also the go-to guy for the head god whenever they needed to imprison someone or something, first Uranus, then Cronos, then Zeus all had enemies to lock up in Tartarus. There's no record of Tartarus ever rebelling or fighting against the most recent usurpers, where-as Gaia rebelled against the reigns of each of them, and the fact that Tartarus was powerful enough to hold each of the beings that were imprisoned within him suggests that he probably could have put up a fight if he wanted to. None of the new God-Kings ever start to question Tartarus' loyalty, either; they all just seem to accept that he'll willingly act as a jailor for them. Anyway, end result of this theory; Tartarus is mentioned a few times in the New Testament, interchangeably with Hell, which suggests to me that Tartarus was simply a go with the flow type of guy who was perhaps biding his time, surviving the downfall of the Greek pantheon by being adopted into Christian lore as Hell.
Hephaestus was destined to overthrow his father.Something of the Spear Counterpart to the Athena WMG. The prophecy that Prometheus was said to know, concerning Zeus's fall from grace in the future? That history would repeat itself: Zeus's last "true" heir (i.e. a child born within his wedlock) would devise the means to destroy him, and take his place on the throne. Chronologically, Hephaestus- lame, blind, arguably hideous, industrious, and technologically ingenious- is Zeus's and Hera's last son. Hera locked her ugly little son in a volcano out of disgust, but Zeus enforced this because of the prophecy.
The stone that Cronus ate so long ago has some deep connection with Zeus.Besides it being an Omphalos stone (used to denote the "navel" of the world), why else would the oracle at Delphi had found it and saved it?
Hepheastus isn't actually ugly.In fact, he may even be a bit handsome. Why do they say he's ugly? The gods' true forms are the absolute perfection of human physique, while Hepheastus looks more like us. By their standards, he's hideous(even more so, since they expect their own kind to have stunning beauty.) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all...
Heracles had stomach cancer.In the Roman version of the 12 Labors myth, Hercules was attacked by a crab that distracted him from his tasks. Under the premise of the guess, the Romans heard "Heracles' task was made difficult by a bout with cancer" and thought that "Giant Enemy Crab" was a better translation than "stomach pains".
Hera founded the Amazons.What better way to show up her adulterous husband and the other male deities than to create a society in total contrast to the sexism and misogyny of the time?
Athena has some connection to hive insects, ants in particularFirstly, there's her origin story. Her mother was turned into an ant and eaten by Zeus to stop her from giving birth, but Athena was born anyway, and burst out of Zeus's head. Secondly, Athena is sometimes viewed as a symbol of feminism, second only to Artemis, and most hives are ruled by a QUEEN. She is also the goddess of wisdom and battle, and hive insects are notoriously well coordinated. Finally, there's the famous myth about her and Arachnea, where she got jealous of her weaving skills and turned Arachnea into the first spider. Now think about it, what kind of animal preys on insects like the ant? Is it possible Arachnea's children are trying to take revenge?
Originally, guiding the souls of the dead to Hades was divided between Thanatos and Hermes. Thanatos took adults, and Hermes took children.
The Greek gods are part of the domains of the Desire realm in Buddhist Cosmology
Atreus died on his knees, pleading with Aigisthos for mercy.To which Aigisthos would have replied with something along the lines of "Like you showed my brothers? I will free the world of a poisonous thing.!" isolated inside Cronus. At no point would that allow them to learn any self-control, and due to being gods no human could punish them doing wrong. As a result, the Olympians must have developed a rather screwed up sense of morality, or more likely no sense of morality whatsoever. The Titans dealt with something similar(being stuck in Gaia's womb for god knows how long), and the Protogenoi got no lessons from the grandpappy of all things, Chaos. And when the Olympians reproduced, the cycle only continued. The reason who the Greek gods can treat humanity as their personal toys the one minute and be benevolent, wise figures is because they're immature and amoral, instead of malevolent and immoral. If they want to do something nice, they'll do something really nice. If they want to do something selfish, they'll do something really selfish. Basically, the gods are incredibly immature, and their actions reflect that.
The Greeks got screwed because they forsook HeliosAfter a beginning as a popular deity, Helios seems to have been delegated to a minor role, often assimilated by Apollo, because Greeks disdained astrological cults. Fast forward some centuries latter, and what divinity that uses most of Helios' imagery and symbolism surfaces and ends Antiquity? To add even more to this, the latest classical pagans began to exalt Helios above the other gods (most famously in Emperor Julian's theology), almost as if desperately calling for the god's favour...
Hades didn't object to Persephone's relationship with Adonis because he was in love with him too.First off, it's Ancient Greece. Second off, it would make sense, after all Zeus and Poseidon had their share of male lovers (Ganymede and Nerites, respectively), so why shouldn't their brother? The difference is that unlike Zeus and Poseidon, Hades is fairly faithful to his wife (unlike Zeus) who actually likes him (unlike Amphitrite) so what is a guy to do? Why, share the guy with his wife, of course!