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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Chuck Norris
The only person who could defeat Chuck Norris was Patrick McGoohan
If you watch The Prisoner it becomes obvious that McGoohan could do anything. However, when he was alive he took a pacifistic "no fighting unless forced" stance. Then he passed away and now there's no stopping Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reincarnation of Tomás de Torquemada

Seriously, both are hyper-violent and hyper-homophobic people.

Chuck Norris is not god
And to claim that he is is an insult to the infinite power and might that is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is more powerful than every god ever heard of COMBINED.

Chuck Norris is from Prussia
Because it explains a lot.

Chuck Norris is not from Prussia
Because Prussia is from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee are the same person
They are both the most powerful people ever known. In Way of the Dragon, Lee split himself for the scene and made one half his Lee form and the other his Norris form, the Norris half lost because the only person who can beat Bruce Lee/Chuck Norris is himself.

Rory Williams is Chuck Norris.

Molly Weasley is Chuck Norris's cousin/sister/mother/whatever.
Both redheaded Badasses. And yes, this would make Chuck Norris a wizard. I wouldn't put it past him.

Chuck Norris is the Emperor of Man
PRAISE HIM AND STRIKE DOWN HIS FOES!!!

Chuck Norris is amused by "Chuck Norris Facts".

Chuck Norris is the reincarnation of Daniel Webster.
Because no one else could do what Daniel Webster did.

Chuck Norris is blood brother to Fred Rogers.
  • Because both ultimately prevail, both use their powers only for good, and because you do not talk smack about either of them. EVER.

Chuck Norris "facts" are actually real...
He's just too modest to admit it.

Chuck Norris is Haruhi.
Self-explanatory.

When an irresistible force meets an immovable object.....
...is when a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is delivered to BRIAN BLESSED's beard. The result will destroy the universe.

The reason why virtually every political candidate Chuck Norris has endorsed ultimately loses is...
...because when he gives somebody an encouraging slap on the back, it leaves them in a daze that lasts for months, meaning they don't recover until after the election is over.
Christopher NolanWMG/PeopleRick Perry

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