Main Sandbox WMG main index Narrative
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Barack Obama is an avatar of Nyarlathotep.
He's black. DECISIVE EVIDENCE
Barack Obama is a Doll.
Oprah hired him to become President. He's programmed with public speaking skills, political knowledge and — this was Topher's idea — tech savvy.
Barack Obama is Jewish.
After all the claims that he's a secret Muslim, wouldn't it be funny if he turned out to be Jewish?
Barack Obama is an atheist.
He was raised by one and is the first major US politician to refer to atheists as a group to be respected in the public sphere.
If you read The Audacity of Hope, he explains how he decided to get baptized when he was doing all that community organizing. He talks about how he still has doubts about God, but that he loved the community of the black church he joined. He seems genuinely spiritual, but he's never as fervent about God as previous presidents have been. This theory might hold water. It's not like anyone can get elected president in America without swearing up and down that they're Christian.
Barack Obama is an avatar of Tzeentch.
Hope and change, anyone?
Barack Obama is a Marty Stu.
Athletic, Intelligent, Family man, One of Us, has a very stable marriage with an equally intelligent attractive woman and the worst thing Fox News has managed to say about him is that he likes Dijon mustard. The man is seemingly flawless. Now this raises the question as to whose Sue he is?
Barack Obama can shoot lasers from his nipples.
In a recent episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert claimed that Obama could shoot lasers from his nipples. Well it turns out Colbert wasn't kidding. Obama can do that!
Barack Obama is Neo.
Cool in a sort of suave way. Went from relatively unknown nerd status to most powerful man in the world in a relatively short span of time. Has a tough female love interest. Oprah (clearly the Oracle) called him "The one." Ted Kennedy is obviously Morpheus. McCain, being a seemingly boring as dirt, but very tough, ultimate adversary is obliged to be Smith. Lieberman is Cypher for going to the other side. Let's not forget Keanu Reeves is of mixed ethnic background (plus his dad is from Hawaii). Coincidence?
Obama is Japanese (or Irish)
There's a town Japan called Obama, and if you transliterate Barrack in japanese, you get Baraku. What other word is transliterated the same way? Black. Also, Hawaii is ropughly halfway between the US and Japan, and historically important to US-Japanese relations.
Or his real surname could be O'Bama, and first name Barry.
Obama was created as the physical manifestation of the collected sum of a human emotion
Namely, hope.
Obama is a human being like anyone else, not the übermensch people would have you believe.
Yeah, I know, I just blasphemed.
Obama is the Avatar/Reincarnation/manifestation of Bob the Builder
Aaa-merica! Can we fix it?
Aaa-merica! YES WE CAN!
Obama is Superman's real secret identity
Why would Superman be dumb enough to adopt a secret identity that looks almost exactly like him? Clark Kent is just a lookalike who works for Superman.
Also, we have this statement from Obama himself:
 ◊
And...
And... ◊ I mean, Alex Ross!!!
There is a very good reason Obama didn't close all the infinite detention facilities
...but its classified. So classified, he didn't receive access to the relevant data until achieving office. Presumably, a few days in, the CIA handed him a few documents that forced him to change his mind.
Barack Obama is Satan
Look at how good the man looks in a suit. Would Satan really be the old stereotype of a white man in power? Think about it, maaaaaaan.
Barack Obama will gain enough popularity, and turn us all into a Planet of Hats
The Hat will either be hope, change, or being a Democrat.
Barack Obama is an Alien Lizard Man
David Icke thinks so and I've heard that this is essentially the premise of the new V series.
There is no such thing as a true American Birth Certificate
Its all a massive Gambit Pileup on the part of the doctors and parents, all of whom are trying to sneak their own bunch of people into the country.
Jon Stewart was right, Barack Obama is a Jedi and he actually knows how things will play out in the years to come.
None of can understand his ways or methods because we are all mere mortals. One day we are just gonna wake up and he will have solved all of the problems the United States is facing right now and none of us will be able to explain it.
Barack Obama is this universe's Lelouch Lamperouge
This would explain his supporters' irrational fanaticism and why he is so beloved by the liberal media: Obama has used his geass powers given to him by
Barack Obama is actually Baraka
"Barack" certainly sounds enough like "Baraka", and perhaps "Michelle" beginning with the same two letters as "Mileena" has some significance. Obama was sent by Shao Kahn, in a form shapeshifted from his original Tarkatan body, to weaken Earthrealm's defenses as a backup plan in case Goro loses his tenth tournament, which will take place on December 21, 2012.
Barack Obama wasn't born in Hawaii
Or Kenya. He was born when George W. Bush removed the blackness from his soul. But, being Dubya, he didn't remove the right blackness (as in evil) but rather the blackness (as in black guy). This blackness bonded to a white guy named Barry O'Bama (from the earlier WMG about him being Irish) and became Barack Obama. Since the blackness was the opposite of Dubya it became a democrat. As of now it is questionable if Obama may also be the manifestation of some of Dubya's evil since, according to the prophecy, Dubya was supposed to be worse than he actually was.
State of the Union WMG: Barack Obama will give a nod to the Drinking games.
And say something like "Let me be clear, change isn't easy, make no mistake." or another sentence with most of his frequently-chosen-words in it at the start of the speech, and then say "For those of you who are still sober..." and continue as normal.
Barack Obama killed Anna Nicole Smith.
Barack Obama can hear everything with those big ears of his.
Barack Obama has many clones.
Barack Obama is a Blue Lantern.
Barack Obama is a leprechaun.
Well, why not? It's entirely possible, if he's secretly Irish as was speculated elsewhere on this page. The other leprechauns rejected him for being too tall, so he moved to the USA and became a Memetic Badass politician just to spite them!
Biden isn't an idiot, he's seeing how much he can insult Obama and keep his job.
The reason why his approval ratings consistently skew young...
...is his habit of looking around the room while giving a speech rather than looking directly into the camera to "make eye contact" with the TV audience, as politicians have been trained to do since The Fifties. The older a voter is, the more likely they are to actually watch a presidential speech as opposed to simply having it playing in the background while multitasking.
Barack Obama is really Kamen Rider Decade.
Here ◊ is the proof.
Obama will cause Instrumentality.
Second Impact will happen in 2012 in this universe. After that, he will take control of the Eva project.
Barack Obama is The Stig.
Some say he is ineligible to be president because it is constitutionally illegal for a non-natural born US citizen to be elected to that office, Some claim that he was born in a foreign country (Kenya), but no one has yet provided legally compelling evidence that this is the case. All we know is, he's called...
Barack Obama is the Anti Anti Christ, and Michelle Obama is the Second Coming
Might as well. I mean, after all the talk about him being Satan.
Everything the Sun says about Barack Obama is true.
He is gay and having an affair with Oprah. Oprah is a man.
Tupac is still alive, living under the name... Barack Obama.
Barack Obama is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ
Turns out the Hindus were right, but it's cool.
Obama is a dolphin in a human suit trying to undermine humanity as the dominant species on the planet
Obama is Ted Williams' clone
Obama is an agent of Special Circumstances
Come on: this is obvious:
Obama is a Xanatos Gambit.
A group of up-tight liberals wanted to prove (or at least get people to think) that the Conservatives were racist douchebags. So they decided to choose a black man as their president, manipulating this so he would win regardless of his policies, and call the Conservatives out the moment they used Insane Troll Logic like the "Birther conspiracy." To them, it would validate their point. Alternatively, Obama was set up by a completely different group to expose flaws on both sides.
The Birthers were really created to keep Arnold Schwarzenegger out of The White House.
Obama's just some Democrat, but Arnold is the real threat to the "conservative" subculture that runs the post-Watergate Republican Party. Arnold's a charismatic old-school moderate Republican who can win elections. Of course they hate Arnold, & they had to stop the Constitution from being amended to allow him to run for President, because he would win. This took two prongs: One, a media push for venerating the Founding Fathers & the Constitution as infallible. Two, a base worked into a frenzy at the idea of electing a foreigner. By denying Schwarzenegger the potential support of the Grand Old Party's base, they can drive him back into movies & keep the party to themselves.
Obama is the 'winner' in a competition in which both sides were really trying to lose.
Imagine the top leadership of both parties thinking
"Oh god. Eight years of George W. Bush. Two wars, trillions in debt, the start of a recession... We really don't want to be the marching band in the parade slot right behind THAT horse show. Come on, what can we do to throw this election?"
Dems: "I got it I got it...ladies and gentlemen, I present our candidate-a half-black man from Hawaii with names that are homophones for people America was recently demonizing as dictators or terrorists!"
Reps: "Oh...oh yeah? Well, we'll run a 70 year old Vietnam vet, and back him up with a lunatic woman from Alaska!"
Voters: "And the winner is...Barack Obama!"
Dems: "Son of a..."
The Donald Trump presidential campaign is a plant by Barack Obama or his subordinates.
It's actually there to make people think the GOP has gone off its rocker, giving Barack the easy win.
If Obama loses his reelection bid he will make one of the following career moves:
1. He will return to the U.S. Senate. He wouldn't be the first ex President to serve in Congress. Both John Quincy Adams and Andrew Johnson did it. He would still probably have enough popularity to win an election in his home state.
2. He will be appointed to the Supreme Court. Considering the age of some of the justices, it's very likely there will be a vacant seat within the next two or three years and Obama was a lawyer with not to mention a law professor. He wouldn't be the first ex president to serve on the court (Taft) nor the first with no experience as a judge. At the very least he could be appointed to a federal district court.
3. He will pull a Grover Cleveland and be reelected in 2016
Obama is a Time Lord
He made a Stable Time Loop dependent on McCain winning the election, starting October 2008 and ending about Election Day, so he could try over and over again until he won.
Obama is an early experiment by the Pierson's Puppeteers
Specifically, his parents' union may have been engineered for the "luck gene". From his campaign for the U.S. Senate onward, his political adversaries have had a tendency to self-destruct in peculiar ways. (See Ryan, Jack, on the main page for an example.)
Seal Team Six did not, in fact, kill Osama bin Ladin. Obama did.
Obama lied about giving the order to kill bin Ladin. He flew to Pakistan, parachuted in, and personally assaulted bin Ladin's compound, alone, and killed him in a high noon shootout. While riding a triceratops. With a minigun.
When the aliens invade, Obama will pilot the first ever real life Super Robot
The crazy "Obama is ______" people are technically right.
Obama is, in actuality, a high ranking Templar, maybe even the Grand Master. The people scattered around the internet and the media claiming Obama is every unamerican thing under the sun are Assassins, doing whatever they can to make the masses lose faith in him and render his Piece of Eden powerless. Obama is, in turn, using his media influence to discredit said Assassins.
Obama does not exist
Yes, you've seen him on TV and you've heard that world leaders and celebrities have met him, but can you trust them? Have you actually seen him face to face and touched him? Do you personally known someone who has personally seen and touched him? He could be a Hologram for all you know!
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Obama will eventually find this page and read it.
It will either be a Crowning Moment of Awesome for the site or all history of this site's existence will mysteriously disappear.
Obama is actually a Magnificent Bastard and the debt ceiling crisis is his Xanatos Gambit
Think about it. If Congress does raise the debt ceiling, he can portray himself as a moderate who was willing to compromise in order to get things done, and the Republicans as loony wackos who put politics before America. If Congress doesn't raise the ceiling... well, all he has to do is wait for people to not get their Social Security and Medicare checks, and then he can put the blame for that on the Republicans.
Obama is a wizard.
Obama is Captain America.
The two were seen as bringers of hope for America (a fictional America in Cap's case), and are both charismatic speakers who can inspire masses. Obama's just a shield and star-spangled outfit away from really bringing about change in our world.
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