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Alan Moore is Sauron, except he has shitloads of rings instead of one.
That's where he gets his power. The only way to kill him is to flush every single article of jewelry he has down the private toilet of the current DC ceo. Oh, and Grant Morrison is Saruman.
Ron Moore is Alan Moore's Californian-bred clone.
He's got the hair, the last name, the conflicts with executives, and the stuff going on in his stories. But he's definitely gotta work on his beard.
Alan Moore is Rasputin
He used infernal magic to fake his death back in the day and couldn't stand being out of the spotlight for as long as he had been. Not a "wild" guess; more a logical conclusion, but it bears saying nonetheless.
Watchmen is a true story. Dan is a surrogate figure for Alan Moore himself.
Not my theory, but my sister's. Has its own theme tune, to the tune of "Dennis Moore".
Alan Moore, Michael Moore and Patrick Moore are brothers.
They gather for nice brotherly meetings every now and then to play the xylophone.
Alan Moore is a transguy.
No reason.
Alan Moore still works with DC Comics (and mainstream comics in general), but uses pen names and actors pretending to be the writers.
He is in fact Geoff Johns, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, Ed Brubaker, and Grant Morrison (eventually, a man who actually went by the name of Grant Morrison popped up and was assigned to work on Batman).
There is a comic industry-endorsed program with the objective of training people to become future Alan Moores.
Since Alan Moore has sweared off doing DC and Marvel, it would be natural for the two to try and get the closest to him. Thus, they just decided to make their own. And naturally, Warren Ellis was the prime result.
Alan Moore is Hagrid.
Those large rings Alan Moore wears are actually cybernetic fingers.
His real fingers are in a jar at DC's main office.
Alan Moore is actually engaged in a sophisticated public relations campaign to make himself appear to be difficult,moody and unpleasant in a low cost bid to attract attention to himself.
Think about it: Every time it seems like the public is forgetting about Alan Moore,he says or does something that turns the spotlight back on him. Every time.
Like JD Salinger,methinks.
Alan Moore is the son of Glycon
He, however, is no longer a demigod, for he embraced true godhood much like Hercules. He's also the real messiah.
Alan Moore is a member of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
He is a character based on the works of HP Lovecraft, who created himself through a maddening paradox, and decided to remove himself and his role in the group from the Graphic Novel version of their chronicles.
Alan Moore is a Time Lord
You know it.
Alan Moore and Grant Morrison are the same person... from different universes!
Moore is from "our" universe, Earth-1, while Morrison is from Earth-2 and was stranded here after Crisis on Infinite Earths. They're both mystic anarchist comic writers with bizarre personalities; the difference is that Moore is very hairy while Morrison is very bald. If you shaved Moore's hair and beard off, you'd find a slightly older Grant Morrison. This is also the source of their legendary rivalry.
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