Video Game: The Legend of Zelda CD-i Games
aka: Legend Of Zelda CDI Games
Link: Gee, it sure is BORING around here!
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!
Link: I just wonder what Ganon's up to!
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!
Link: I just wonder what Ganon's up to!
— The opening conversation of Link: The Faces of Evil.
"How could they fuck up Zelda this bad!!?"
"What the hell are we playing?"Mah boi, this description is what all true tropers strive for!!A series of games based on The Legend of Zelda (as Philips didn't have the rights to the franchise name, none of them actually use the name "Legend of Zelda" anywhere) made in the early 90s, as part of Philips Electronics' deal with Nintendo's SNES CD-ROM. The idea fell through, but Philips had been given the right to make several games based on Nintendo characters (not their respective franchises, just the characters), in this case from Mario and Zelda. So, along with Hotel Mario, they made three games for the Philips CD-i system: Link: The Faces of Evil, Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon and Zelda's Adventure. These are not regarded as canon by Nintendo, and are ignored by the timeline inside Zelda's 25th anniversary artbook Hyrule Historia.The most infamous by far are the two sidescrolling platformer games reminiscent of Zelda II. In Faces of Evil, Link had to travel to the island of Koridai to liberate it from Ganon's forces; Wand of Gamelon featured Zelda traveling to Gamelon to save her father — King Harkinian — and Link. The games are quite famous on the internet due to their animated cutscenes, often regarded as hammy, bizarre, and unintentionally hilarious; as a result, they are one of the sources most often used for humorous remix videos known as Youtube Poop.Less (in)famous is the top-down adventure game Zelda's Adventure. In a reversal from the norm Ganon has kidnapped Link and invaded the Kingdom of "Tolemac", plunging the Kingdom in an Age of Darkness. Princess Zelda sets out to save the young adventurer, and learns from the astronomer Gaspra that she must first collect the seven celestial signs before she can conquer the dark king and bring Tolemac to an Age of Lightness. Zelda's Adventure featured live action full-motion video cutscenes and rotoscoped sprites, and was generally more reminiscent of the very first Zelda game for the NES.
— Mases from Zelda Dungeon.Net
These are the examples of evil. You must read each:
- AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle: Every single character.
- Achilles' Heel[: The cause of the bosses being so anticlimactic in the first two games."Here's a shroud that scares the wraps off Gibdo."
- Action Girl: Zelda in Wand of Gamelon AND Zelda's Adventure. Lampshaded in Wand of Gamelon:"Aren't you a mite puny to go up against Ganon?"
- Adipose Rex: Harkinian, no doubt from all the dinner.
- All There Is to Know About "The Crying Game": When poopers still went to Quebec Gamers to obtain material to edit, the only scenes most knew about were the beginning and end. It wasn't until later when the rest of the games went memetic.
- Almost Kiss: The visuals near the end of Faces Of Evil suggest one of these between Link and Zelda. Of course, what those visuals actually intended to accomplish is unclear.
- Ambiguous Gender: Agwanda in Zelda's Adventure.
- Ambiguously Human: Gwonam in "Faces of Evil" and The Fisherman/Blacksmith in "Wand of Gamelon" have yellow skin for some reason.
- Amplifier Artifact: Doesn't seem to work, though.King Harkinian: I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me.
- And I Must Scream:
- The woman in Faces of Evil who is frozen. When Link thaws her, she thanks him by giving him a drink of Water of Life — then promptly freezes again. And you can just keep rethawing (and refreezing) her whenever you want. Fridge Horror much?
- Goronu threatens to do this to Link:Goronu: I may be hideous, but after a year of being frozen, you will beg to join me!
- Ganon's fate in the end of Faces of Evil and Wand Of Gamelon is being trapped in a book for who knows how long.
- And That's TerribleImpa: Oh my, it looks like everyone's being taken to Tikogi Tower!
Mayor Kravindish: This is illegal, you know.
- Aristocrats Are Evil: Duke Onkled looks a lot... mmmm... richer than Harkinian and Zelda.
- Artistic License – AstronomyAstronomer: The stars are made of ice, thus the night is cold.
- Authority Equals Asskicking:
- In Wand of Gamelon...Link: That old Ganon is no match for the King!
- Needless to say, that old King is no match for Ganon, coupled with Onkled's betrayal.
- In Wand of Gamelon...
- Bag of Holding
- Bag of Spilling: Hand Waved.Link: Great, I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time, your sword is enough!
- Bare Your Midriff: In Wand of Gamelon and Faces of Evil, Zelda is wearing a crop top that alternates from being tucked in or showing her stomach. Interestingly, she doesn't seem to have a navel.
- Behind the Black: In Wand of Gamelon, if it wasn't for Impa telling you, you would have no idea that the mayor and the baker were being captured by Ganon's mooks because they're not shown in that cutscene.
- Big Bad: Ganon, of course.
- Big Eater:
- Right after swallowing someone:Glutko: Mmm... it tastes like a daira, perhaps just one more?
- Link too.Baker: [holding a loaf of bread] Your friend Link could eat ten of these.
Zelda: At least!
- And of course:Link: I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
- Omfak could count, too.Omfak: Whatever I see, I shall devour!
- Right after swallowing someone:
- Big Good: The King. Also Gwonam in Faces of Evil
- Big "NO!":Ganon: NOOO! Not into the pit!! It burns!!!
Ganon: The chains! NOOO! You haven't seen the last of me!
Goronu: You can't kill me! No! NO! NOOOOOO!
Wizzrobe: Not the disintegration spell! NOOOO!
- Bookends: Link trying to get Zelda to kiss him in the beginning and final cutscenes in Faces of Evil.
- Boss Rush: In Zelda's Adventure.
- Breathless Non Sequitur: "My ship sails in the morning. I wonder what's for dinner?"
- Canon Discontinuity: Nintendo dumped all endorsement of Phillips's games as soon as they hit shelves, and the attitude has only gotten stronger since then. Nintendo Power advertised Spirit Tracks as the first time Zelda actually joins the adventure instead of waiting in the background to be rescued. Zelda was the player character in two of the Phillips games. Also, they aren't mentioned at all in the Hyrule Historia book, not even in footnotes.
- Nintendo Power occasionally did acknowledge the existence of the games, but only to mock them.
- Canon Foreigner: Everyone except Ganon, Link, Zelda and Impa, and the King, who comes from the comics and TV series.
- Canon Immigrant:
- King Harkinian first appeared in the The Legend of Zelda comics and The Legend of Zelda cartoon.
- Unintentional, but lamp oil, which first appears as an item in Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, becomes a real Zelda item in Twilight Princess. There was a lantern in A Link to the Past, but it ran on Link's magic power.
- Characteristic Trope: For YouTube Poop fans, every king with a fondness for food is immediately compared to King Harkinian.
- The Chosen One:Gwonam: It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.
- Climax Boss: The battle with Ganon's dragons in both games; Lupay of Faces of Evil is the only boss other than Ganon that isn't repeated, while Hectan of Wand of Gamelon precedes an important plot point (Duke Onkled being revealed as a traitor).
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: Duke Onkled's punishment for assisting Ganon is to scrub all the floors in Hyrule.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: All the bosses in Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon (yes, including Ganon) can be beaten by throwing the right object at them once.
- Crystal Ball:Impa: The Triforce of Wisdom promises the King will safely return.
- Damsel in Distress:
- Death Is a Slap on the Wrist: If you die in the first two games, you are simply put back on the stage with all of the items you've collected. This is in stark contrast to Zelda II The Adventure Of Link, in which Continuing Is Painful.
- Declarative Finger: King Harkinian uses this in Faces Of Evil, while saying "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"
- Defeat by Modesty: Militron's armor shatters when you defeat him, revealing an old man in his underwear.Militron: Oh my goodness, this is awful!
- Dem Bones:Goronu: Wake up, sleepy bones! Find the living and cut their vile throats!
- Denial of Diagonal Attack
- Department of Redundancy Department:
- Depth Perplexion: Sometimes the perspective of the game, platforms, and the enemies make no sense.
- Deranged Animation: The cutscenes are some of the most horrible in gaming history.
- Disintegrator RayWizzrobe: Not the disintegration spell! NOO!
- Disney School of Acting and Mime
- Disproportionate Retribution
- Ganon and light.Ganon: You dare bring light into my lair?! You must die!
- Inverted then Subverted in the ending of Wand of Gamelon. Community service seems like a light sentence for treason, but the exact sentence is "After you've scrubbed all of the floors in Hyrule". Hyrule has many monster-filled dungeons (That have floors), so King Harkinian is basically sending Duke Onkled to his death.
- Ganon and light.
- Distressed Dude: The King and Link in Wand of Gamelon. Link gets kidnapped again in Zelda's Adventure.
- Does Not Like Shoes: Zelda is barefoot when Link rescues her at the end of Faces of Evil.
- The Dragon: Hectan, and a case can be made for Duke Onkled.
- Everybody Laughs Ending: OAHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA
- Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: The King. He's only called Harkinian in the manual.
- Everything's Better with Princesses: Princess Zelda.
- Evil Is Hammy: Everyone is hammy, but the evil characters are more so on average.
- Expy: Philips manages to take this to ridiculous levels by having expies of some of the bosses in Faces of Evil appear under different names in Wand Of Gamelon:
- Iron Knuckle = Militron
- Omfak = Lupay
- Wizzrobe = Goronu
- Extreme Omnivore: Glutko in Faces of Evil. Also:Link: I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!
Omfak: Whatever I see, I shall devour!
- Face-Heel TurnFari: Duke Onkled betrayed the King!
- Face Palm: Zelda does the two-handed variant in Wand of Gamelon's intro. Whether she is crying or not is left ambiguous by the artwork.
- Faux Action Girl: Alma. She tries to stand up to Wizzrobe but fails miserably.
- Feed It a Bomb: Dodongos.
- This is how Link beats Glutko
- Five-Bad Band
- Faces of Evil:
- Wand of Gamelon:
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: In the opening of "Wand of Gamelon," after Zelda tells Link to go find the King, she gives a very brief Aside Glance that practically says "I just know he's going to mess this up." He does.
- Later on, when Mayor Kravandish is searching his coat for a magic lantern, his eyes pop when he sees something in one of his other pockets, but we never find out what.
- Full Motion Video: Zelda's Adventure with live-action video, the first two with budget animation.
- Giant Flyer: In Zelda's Adventure, Zelda reaches the Sky Shrine on the back of a giant bird. The boss of said Shrine, Avianna, is also a giant bird.
- Gross-Up Close-Up: People have noticed that this is a very common — and usually unnecessary — idiosyncrasy of the cutscenes.
- Grossout Game: See Above.
- Hard Levels, Easy Bosses: Of an even worse magnitude than Zelda II. In Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, whereas Link and Zelda have to bust their asses to defeat the mooks, all the bosses die with one hit. Even Ganon himself — Link must must throw the Book of Koridai at him; Zelda must use the titular wand to summon binding chains... and then the book inexplicably reappears again to seal Ganon.
- A curious subversion is the first fight with Militron in Faces of Evil. You dare face him without a Power Sword on full health? FEEL THE FIRE OF WAR! And start that battle-screen again, avoiding the mooks who try to hurt your hearts, thus disabling shooting ability.
- He Knows About Timed Hits:Link: When I'm crouching you can make me do the duck walk! Cool, huh?
- Hitbox Dissonance: The sword seems to have a much shorter range than its usual.
- Hold Your Hippogriffs: Link is "so hungry, [he] can eat an Octorok!"
- The Herald: Gwonam flies in on his carpet from nowhere, explains the plot to everyone, then flies Link to Koridai apropos of nothing.
- The Hyena: A guy in one of the shops in the town of Wimbich in Zelda's Adventure.Man: Is a shrine a thing to be taken lightly? No! And a candle is needed to light a shrine! Hahahahahaha!
- If I Do Not Return:King Harkinian: If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link!
- I'll Kill You!:Ganon: You will DIE!
- I'm a Humanitarian:Glutko: Oh goodie! Mashed Link for the main course!
- I'm MeltingHectan: You've killed me!!!
- Informed Ability:Link: That old Ganon's no match for the King!
- In Harm's Way: The quote at the top of this page indicates Link has this attitude.
- Inherently Funny Words: "Dinner", "Come!", "Boi", "Glutko", "Duke Onkled", "DIE!!"... and most of the other words spoken in the series.
- It Makes Sense in Context: The introductory cutscene for Tykogi Tower. It's supposed to depict how the inhabitants of Sakado were imprisoned here, but instead shows us out-of-context clips of Mayor Kravindish's "This is illegal you know!" and Harbanno's "My cakes will burn!"
- Keet: Link, in spades. Perhaps one should be glad he is otherwise a Heroic Mime in the canonical series.
- Large Ham:
- The King, Morshu, and Ganon.
- Bosses too. Especially Militron.Militron: Worthless Koridian! You must be HARDENED WITH FIRE! GO AND ''KILL!
- Pretty much every single character that has a speaking line.
- Loads and Loads of Loading: In Zelda's Adventure, this happens on every screen.
- Magic Mirror: Link gets trapped inside one of these in Wand Of Gamelon.
- Malaproper: Philips didn't seem to realize that they're called "rupees," not "rubies."
- Marshmallow Hell: Link endures this from a woman with red braids in Faces of Evil, when she grabs him and calls him "My hero!"
- Medium Blending: Used in the opening of Zelda's Adventure.
- Memetic Hand Gesture: The part where the King says "Strive FOR" and points his index finger upwards. It's known as the "Mah boi" gesture.
- Mercy Invincibility: Sadly averted. Any kind of prolonged contact with an enemy, even if it's just for a second, can result in half of your health getting eaten up.
- Milking the Giant Cow: The animated characters often engage in this (see above).
- Modest Royalty: Played straight with Zelda and The King, but averted with Duke Onkled.
- Moral Dissonance: This exchange from Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon:Hectan: You've killed me!
- Motivational Kiss: Actively defied by Zelda in Faces of Evil.Link: How about a kiss? For luck?
Zelda: You've got to be kidding.
- Mr. Exposition: Gwonam in Faces of Evil, who shows up in every level to invite Link to "look and see" what the Monster of the Week is doing this time, and Impa in Wand of Gamelon. Gaspra, the old man who sends Zelda on her quest in Zelda's Adventure, also counts.
- NameTron: Militron.
- Never Accepted On Any Nintendo Console: All three games, of course.
- Never Say "Die": Averted quite often. They also say "kill" quite a few times. This was unusual for the series at the time as all Zelda materials before that had used that trope.Ganon: Join me, Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai... or else you will die!
Ganon: You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!
Militron: Now, you must die!
Militron: Go and kill!
Lupay: I spy with my eye someone who must die!
Iron Knuckle: You dare defy me?! You will die!
Armos: [after Iron Knuckle is defeated] He's dead. Let's get out of here!
George the Baker: The arpagos will die for them!
Hectan: You've killed me!
- Nice Hat: The King's retainer wears one in Wand of Gamelon. It's practically a pimp hat.
- Nightmare Face: ...Or else you will die!!!
- The '90s: Most apparent in the music, from the synth quality to the style. Much more than was apparent in the canonical games.
- No Hero Discount: Lampshaded by the shopkeepers.Morshu: You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies.
Morshu: Sorry, Link, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little, mmmmm... richer!
Ushrom: Of course I'm on your side, but I still have to sell this stuff. Just pick what you want. I'll handle the rubies.
- No Hugging, No Kissing:Link: How about a kiss, for luck?
Zelda: You've got to be kidding.
- Almost averted by the end of Faces of Evil, when Link awakes the sleeping Zelda and they lean in for a kiss, but they get interrupted by Gwonam.
- Nobleman's Laugh: Non-villainous example: King Harkinian does this at the end of Gamelon, minus the hand covering his mouth.
- An Offer You Can't Refuse: Ganon in Faces of Evil offer Link power and fame and threatens to kill him if he refuses. However, you can't even make a choice in the matter since Ganon attacks you anyway.Ganon: Join me, Link! And I will make you a face the grrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!
- Off Model: Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon's animation.
- Ominous Pipe Organ: Gibdo is playing one during a cutscene, despite being at the top of the church and nowhere near the organ.
- Only Mostly Dead: You fight Goronu twice in Faces of Evil, first in the Face of Goronu and later the revived Goronu in Fortress Centrum who at first appears to be a sleeping Zelda.
- Only Six Faces: All Koridians look exactly the same.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: "Squadala!"
- Plot Hole: The ending to Wand of Gamelon makes no sense whatsoever. How and when did Link get trapped in a mirror? How come The King acknowledges Zelda saving him only after they're back in the castle? What are The King and Zelda laughing at?
- They're most likely laughing at Link's stupidity.
- Power Fist:
- Pre Asskicking One Liner:
- This exchange from Wand of Gamelon:Iron Knuckle: You dare defy me?! You will die!
Zelda: Guess again, Iron Knuckle!
- And who could forget this other exchange from the end of Wand of Gamelon?King's Assistant: Here's the traitor, your Majesty!
Duke Onkled: Pleeease! your Omnipotence! HAVE MERCY!
King Harkinian: After you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!
King's Assistant: Yes, my liege!
- This exchange from Wand of Gamelon:
- Prepare to Die:Ganon: You dare bring light to my lair? You must die!!!
- Psychotic Smirk: Zelda after she kills Hectan. See Moral Dissonance. You be the judge.◊
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!Militron: GO! AND! KILL!!
- Pyro Maniac:Militron: Worthless Koridian, you must be hardened with fire!
Militron: Feel the fire of war!
- Recurring Boss: You fight Goronu twice in Faces of Evil, first in the face of Goronu and later the revived Goronu in Fortress Centrum who at first appears to be a sleeping Zelda.
- In Faces of Evil, you fight every boss twice, except for Lupay and Ganon.
- Robe And Turban: Gwonam.
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: The King and Zelda. Duke Onkled does absolutely nothing though.King Harkinian: Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.
King Harkinian: How can we help?
- Scenery Porn: For the time these games were made, it's actually rather beautiful. (1993 and 1995) Zelda's Adventure tried to make things look realistic, and a few rooms in the game actually do look pretty stunning.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After Zelda kills Iron Knuckle, one of the Armos says "He's dead. Let's get out of here."
- Sdrawkcab Name: Zelda's Adventure takes place in the land of Tolemac. There's also Morshu and Ushrom.
- Some Dexterity Required: Controls in this game when to use items etc. are very complex, due to the controller only having two buttons, far too little for a game like this.
- Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: A rare positive example- The Triforce of Wisdom predicts that the King will return safely, but in the end this is only because Zelda set out to rescue him.
- Stupid Statement Dance Mix: "I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!"
- Suddenly Voiced: Link, Zelda and Ganon.
- Super Drowning Skills: Of the Bottomless Pits variety. Should Link or Zelda fall into water at any time, they will instantly die.
- Teleport Spam:Hectan: Am I here? Or here? Or here?
- This Cannot Be!:Goronu: You can't kill me! No! No! No!
- Throw the Book at Them: Link's method of defeating Ganon in Faces of Evil.Ipo: Listen! Such is the power of the Prince of Darkness, that he can kill with a single look! Attacks against Ganon will prove fruitless unless Link attacks with the sacred book.
- Time Skip:[One Month Later]
Zelda: [sigh] A whole month gone, and still no word.
- Tin Tyrant: Militron.
- Tome of Eldritch Lore: The book of Koridai.
- Tragic Monster: If the cutscenes are any indication, many, if not all of the monsters you fight are transformed citizens. Makes you wonder just how much "peace and harmony" will be returning to Koridai.
- Trial-and-Error Gameplay: Many times it's possible to get stuck.
- Unrobotic Reveal: After defeating Militron.Militron: Oh my goodness, this is awful!
- Vague Age: Just how old ARE Link and Zelda anyway?
- Victory Is Boring:Link: Gee, it sure is boring around here!
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for.
- Villainous Harlequin: Um, a freaky pig-faced Harlequin who turns citizens into Goriyas when they lose his game.Harlequin: Do you know what it means when you lose your last RUBY? Now you work for me!
- Villains Act, Heroes React: Link actually awaits Ganon's next disturbance of the peace.
- The Voice: In Zelda's Adventure, sometimes you will hear a voice that provides you with gameplay hints.
- Voodoo Shark. Faces of Evil attempts to justify why Link doesn't have any items: Link is about to grab his stuff only for Gwonam to say "There is no time! Your sword is enough!" This explanation only works if Gwonam is malicious or a total buffoon, as he is incorrect on both counts; you do need the items, and you do have enough time to claim new ones, but you have to do it the slow way thanks to his advice.
- Was Once a Man: The Mooks in Faces of Evil used to be Koridians before they were turned into monsters.
- Weakened by the Light: Possibly the reason why Ganon wants to kill Zelda for bringing light into his lair.
- We Can Rule TogetherGanon: Join me, Link, and I will make you a face the greatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!
- We Will Meet AgainGanon: Aargh! The chains! No! You haven't seen the last of me!
- Who Dares?:Iron Knuckle: You dare defy me? You will die!
Ganon: You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!
- A Winner Is You: "I won!"
- Winter Royal Lady: The appropriately named Ice Queen.
- With This Herring:Gwonam: There is no time, your sword is enough!
- World of Ham: Even shopkeepers and common townspeople deliver their lines in the most poetic possible way. One might wonder if they're this theatrical to everyone they meet.Ganon: In the darkest nightmare hour, when not moon nor sun had risen, I take Zelda in my power, I shall keep her in my prison.
- You Just Had to Say It: Link, in Faces of Evil, remarks, "I just wonder what Ganon's up to!" Roughly a half-second later...
- You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!