Video Game: Protect Me Knight
"Save me... my hero! Defeat f$%kin' goblins!"Protect Me Knight
— The Princess
(まもって騎士) is an indie Tower Defense
game by Yuzo Koshiro
's team of game developers at Ancient with Yuzo composing the game's music. The game pays homage to the classic 8-bit days of gaming
styled visuals and MIDI chiptune music. The game's start-up sequence even has the player attempting to get the cartridge to work by blowing into it.note
The gameplay premise is simple: Pick one of four character classes — the Fighter
, the Mage
, the Amazon
, or the Ninja
— and protect your cute, happy-go-lucky Princess
from harm. The problem: everything is trying to kick her cute little butt
. All sorts of enemies, from goblins, zombies, minotaurs, demons, and even mischievous succubi, will have at you for defending the Princess. If that wasn't enough, dragons, giant lizard men, and other bosses will show up on occasions to stomp down anyone and
anything in their path. Luckily, our brave heroes can fight off these enemies with their weapons of choice and special abilities, and by spending Heart Points, they can unleash a wide-area attack
. Unlike other tower defense games, players can also move the princess out of harm's way and to set up a defensive perimeter around her if things way out of hand.
Up to four players can either participate in the Arcade Mode where they advance through progressively difficult stages and use the leftover Heart Points to level up their hero's abilities, or the Survival Mode to test the player's ability to withstand an endless wave of enemies.
The game was released to Xbox LIVE
on May 14, 2010 under its Japanese name in the Xbox LIVE Indie Games section for $2.99. An old PC demo can be downloaded on the Japanese website here
A sequel was released for the Nintendo 3DS
on September 2014 that introduces a new Knight and Archer class.
This game provides examples of:
- Affectionate Parody / Homage: Of the NES era of video games.
- Amazonian Cutie: The Amazon, given the anime art-style of the game. She also fights with a spear and boomerangs.
- American Kirby Is Hardcore: Parodied with the game's "packaging" to reflect the box-art of old NES games such as the original NES Mega Man. Take a gander at the English◊ box-art◊ and its Japanese◊ one◊.
- Barbarian Hero: The Fighter, complete with an axe and an upgradable Spin Attack.
- Bare Your Midriff: The Amazon, thanks to her Chainmail Bikini, and the succubi who are sporting equally skimmy outfits. The Mage and the Princess in the game's parodied packaging also show off their midriff.
- Black Magician Girl: The Mage, and she specializes in fire magic.
- Blush Sticker: On the Mage and Amazon.
- Combos: The game lets you juggle enemies after defeating them for a few extra Heart Points.
- Damsel in Distress: The Princess, and it's your job to protect her.
- Difficulty Levels: Easy, Normal, Hard, and Hell.
- Doppelgänger Attack: The Ninja can upgrade his attacks to use one.
- Endless Game: Survival Mode. You fight many waves of enemies and your heroes randomly gets an upgrade after completing a wave.
- Everything Is Better With Princesses: The game has you trying to protect a princess.
- Everything Is Trying To Kill You and The Princess: Goblins, the undead, demons, dragons, and more want a piece of her.
- Excuse Plot: All you need know about the first game is that our heroes rescued the Princess from goblins and are trying to return her to her castle.
- Fantasy Character Classes: The games' heroes as follows:
- Fire-Breathing Weapon: An attack upgrade for the Mage allows her to fire a stream of flames from her staff.
- Gainax Ending: At the end of the Arcade Mode in the first game, it ends with our four heroes and the Princess putting on a concert show at her castle, with the Princess as the Idol Singer, the Barbarian and Amazon playing the guitar, the Mage on keyboard, and the Ninja playing the drums.
- Girlish Pigtails: The weakest variant of the succubus have them.
- Genki Girl: The succubi. They are upbeat about shooting magical energy (and later fire) at the Princess and anyone protecting her.
- Harder Than Hard: The first game has a Hell difficulty where players face off much more agressive enemies than the previous difficulties.
- Healing Factor: One of the Mage's MP upgrades lets her regenerate HP as long as her MP meter is full.
- Highly-Visible Ninja: The Ninja, and he's not afraid to provide some eye-candy for the ladies.
- Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: Except they want to wreck you (and the Princess).
- Instant Awesome, Just Add Ninja: The Ninja, obviously.
- Intentional Engrish for Funny: The game parodies the poor Japanese-to-English translations commonly found in some NES games.
- Katanas Are Just Better: The Ninja's go-to weapon.
- Life Meter: The HP meter.
- Life Drain: One of the Amazon's upgrades lets her absorb the damage she deals to her enemies.
- Mooks: And they come in these varieties.
- Cute Devil Girl: These succubi wants ruin the Princess' day.
- Degraded Boss: The minotaurs, undead knights, et cetera after the first time fighting them.
- Elite Mooks: Usually the third palette swapped version of the enemies.
- The Grim Reaper: As a mook that shoots fireballs.
- Night of the Living Mooks: Did we mention the undead are also after the Princess?
- Smash Mook: The goblins, the very same goblins the Princess wants you to "f$%kin' defeat".
- Mook Maker: On occasions, a goblin-like UFO appears to spew more goons for our heroes to tackle. The Goblin King will spew goblins for you to deal with.
- Mr. Fanservice: The Ninja, clad in mask and a thong and not much else.
- Ms. Fanservice: The Amazon and the succubi. The Mage and Princess are depicted as one in the parodied Japanese and U.S. packaging respectively.
- Mystical White Hair: The Princess in the fake U.S. packaging, except in the game her hair is actually purple.
- Palette Swap: In true old-school fashion, enemies come in different palettes. Players can also change their color palettes before starting a game as well.
- Playing with Fire: The Mage and most of the enemies abuse fire.
- Red-Headed Hero: The Fighter, with the default color palette.
- Retraux: The classic 8-bit visuals and chiptune music fits this bill quite nicely. The players can even construct their faux NES / Famicom box. Get the print-outs here.
- RPG Elements: In the Arcade Mode, the leftover Heart Points that weren't used or lost can be spent to upgrade your heroes' abilities.
- Save the Princess: It's what this game's all about.
- She's Got Legs: The Mage, as depicted in the parodied Japanese boxart.
- Smart Bomb: At the expense of some Heart Points, players can unleash a wide-area attack against enemies.
- Stripperiffic: The Amazon and the succubi. The Ninja serves a male equivalent to this. The Mage and the Princess also wear revealing outfits respectively in the game's parodied Japanese and English packaging.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Try "Walking In Your Thong of Shielding Scene" as the Ninja.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: This also includes pink, green, red, and a few other anime hair colors.