Let's jam with Bodyslam!
The year is 2068. Things have changed. The Millenium Wars ruined the World's cities. The Grey Tremor Plague of 2017 reduced the population by a third. Radiation from the Thanatos Meltdown radically altered the gene pool. Technology advanced. Bioengineers have created Animal-Human hybrids. Athletes are commonly enhanced with bionics. The Cybernet, a fiber-optic communication network, links everything. The rage of the Cybernet is Bodyslam!
— Opening Narration
A Beat 'em Up made by Animation Magic for the Philips CD-i in 1994.
The story begin as a team unusually composed of pure-breed humans called the "Naturals" join the popular show Bodyslam, hosted by L. Wolf Jam (often called "L. Wolf" in-game). This doesn't please current champion Hectro-Genocite, who vows to defeat the Naturals to prove his belief that humans are obsolete. The story is presented by interviews conducted by L. Wolf with Hectro-Genocite and the other teams between each fight.
Made by the same animators as I. M. Meen and the first two CD-i Legend of Zelda games, it features the same brand of deranged animated cutscenes
and terrible acting, along with obnoxiously repetitive dialogue and ridiculous racial stereotypes.
This game provide examples of:
- After the End: The game is set in the future year of 2068, set after "The Millennium Wars," "The Grey Tremor Plague of 2017" and "The Thanatos Meltdown."
- The Alternet: "The Cybernet, a fiber-optic communication network, links everything."
- Animation Bump: The part of the intro where L. Wolf introduces the Naturals is actually quite good, especially in comparison of the rest of Animation Magic's output.
- Artistic License – Biology: Apparently, radical alteration of the gene pool means humans can suddenly give birth to pterodactyls.
- Balance, Speed, Strength Trio: Daemon Stone is balanced, Tory Swift is fast but weak, Rack Saxxon is slow but strong.
- Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Sort of. The one female member of the Naturals merely has a couple of teeth knocked out at the end of the game, as opposed to the two male members, who both have black eyes and are clearly bleeding.
- Broken Record: Hectro-Genocite. You'd think his opinion on the Naturals would change.
- Captain Obvious: The unfortunate doctor in the intro.IT'S A MUTANT!
- Cat Girl: Tina Felina, one of the bosses.
- Deadly Game: The "game" in question being urban gang-warfare.
- Deranged Animation: To be expected by the animation team that gave us the other infamous CD-i titles.
- Face Palm: L. Wolf does this whenever one of the mutant team members is defeated.
- Fantastic Racism: The mutants hate humans. Given how Hectro-Genocite often talks about "the better breeds", it seems that there is racism between different kinds of mutants as well.Masher Komodo: Humans, we love to hurt them!
- Full Motion Video: The animated cutscenes were provided by the same people who made the cutscenes for Link: The Faces of Evil & Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon.
- Gay Paree: One of the locations you fight in.
- Great Offscreen War: The Millennium Wars.
- Idiosyncratic Difficulty Levels: Easy is “Wimpy”, medium is “Savage” and hard is “Insane”.
- Mirror Boss: One of the enemies in the Beijing level copies your character during the boss battle.
- Ms. Fanservice: Tina Felina, the Cat Girl boss, wears nothing but a skimpy yellow bikini and has obviously erect nipples.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: L. Wolf Jam is a furry caricature of the late Wolfman Jack.
- No Indoor Voice: HECTRO-GENOCITE.
- Production Throwback: One of the generic enemy types is called "Impa".
- Proud Warrior Race Guy: The Street Sharks:Budo Shinkage: The other teams, Mister Jam... lack the will to destroy. For us, it is a matter of honor... and enjoyment!
- Scenery Gorn: Some of the levels backgrounds are rather impressive for the time.
- Signature Line: THE KOMODOS WEAR SISSY PANTS! or THE NATURALS MUST BE USING SOME KIND OF GUN!
- Stock Footage: The same two bits of animation for both L. Wolf and Hectro-Genocite are endlessly reused.
- Strictly Formula: Never mind the animation, the dialogue itself seems to have been written by a mad-lib program.L. Wolf: Ooh-wee! The Naturals left the [defeated team] in the [x]! What's your hit on these Naturals?Hectro-Genocite: [Defeated team] are [x], L. Wolf! Wait until the Naturals fight somebody [y]!orHectro-Genocite: Cheaters, L. Wolf! The [x] must be [y]! There is NO WAY humans can [z]!
- Transhuman: "Bio-engineers have created animal-human hybrids. Athletes are commonly enhanced with bionics."
- Verbal Tic: OOH-WEE!
- You Are a Credit to Your Race: After you win, L. Wolf Jam says "Congratulations, Naturals! You guys surprised us all!"
