Video Game: Don't Shit Your Pants
Don't Shit Your Pants
is a humorous text adventure
game. However, the game jokingly brands itself as a survival horror game. It can be found on Newgrounds here.
As the name suggests, you play as a man who desperately needs to defecate and must guide him to the bathroom using text commands
. There are ten different endings to unlock
, and many of them require thinking outside the box. The game is short, and only takes a few minutes to complete, but getting all of the endings without cheating requires some thinking. Getting all of the endings will earn you the title of Shit King.
This game provides examples of:
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: The protagonist isn't drawn with a penis when he has his pants off, although that's probably for the better.
- Bottomless Bladder: Averted.
- Cluster F-Bomb: The word "shit" is used quite liberally...
- Door Dumb: "You try PUSHING the door open but it wont budge." You PULL it open. "Oh, Right."
- Earn Your Bad Ending: It takes a bit of work, certainly the most in the game, to figure out how to get two achievements. First you have to find the stomach pills, then you have to learn how to delay the impending Potty Emergency to give the pills time to work. And then they end up not working anyways.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The main goal is to make it to the restroom without shitting your pants, as the name would suggest.
- Game-Breaking Bug:
- Entering "fart lightly" three times, or doing the "Stomach pills" achievement, will cause the player to shit his pants even if his pants are already off.
- Entering "don't shit" while on the toilet will cause the player to still shit in their pants/on the floor instead.
- Gross Out Show: This game sure likes to make you crap yourself...
- Have a Nice Death: Well, have a nice Potty Failure.
- Interactive Fiction: A rare modern example.
- Loophole Abuse: The player will get a victory chime for taking off their pants and shitting on the floor. Hey, technically you didn't shit your pants.
- Multiple Endings: Ten of them!
- No Dead Body Poops: In an interesting nod to realism, killing yourself will lead to a game over as you lose control of your bowels, thus (wait for it) shitting your pants.
- Non-Standard Game Over:
- Entering "Fart" will cause the player to shit his pants by farting too hard.
- Entering "Hit" will cause the player to exert himself and shit his pants.
- Potty Emergency: The main plot of the game.
- Potty Failure: All of the endings except for one lead to this happening....
- Press Start To Game Over: You normally type in "play" to start the game. But instead, you can type "shit" to immediately soil yourself. There's an achievement for that.
- Press X to Die:
- Typing in "die" (Or "suicide" or "seppuku" or...) will result in you dying, ending the game.
- Commanding the man to "shit" will automatically end the game.
- Pyrrhic Victory: Committing suicide with your pants off results in a technical victory, but even the game questions if it should count.
- Reverse Psychology: Entering "don't shit" will make the player shit anyway.
- Take Your Time: Averted, as there is a time limit - despite the fact that most text adventures are slow paced and don't have time limits.
- Timed Mission: So you'd better hurry to the bathroom!
- Toilet Humor: Well, what did you expect?
- Unexpectedly Realistic Gameplay: Just like in real life, it turns out that deciding to take a shit with your pants still on or taking a shit outside of the bathroom isn't such a good idea. The game is very precise, and often players get a bad ending on their first playthrough.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: It's a shit indiscretion shot.
- Vulgar Humor: Who knew there were so many ways to use the restroom incorrectly?