Video Game: Dong Dong Never Die

Hey, guys! C'mon!

"My personal favorite super belongs to the dainty umbrella-wielding Mian Hua Tang: she calls out to her manservant, ordering him to attack. (Relevant: her manservant is Optimus Prime.)"

More accurately translatable to Dong Dong: the Immortal Legend, Dong Dong Never Die is a Fighting Game that defies all but the heartiest attempts at description. Suffice it to say that just before its destruction, SkyNet sends a more advanced Terminator — the nigh-invulnerable, gun-wielding, super-strong, and water-drinking Sheng Hua Nan — to the past. In response, the leader of the human resistance, Dong Dong, sends back a T-800 Model Terminator that he has reprogrammed to protect his past self. Both Terminators arrive at a time when fighting representatives from all parts of China such as Sun Wukong with a spray paint can, some guy with a huge afro and an inner-tube, and Mario gather together and...

Yes, that's all really part of the plot.

Dong Dong Never Die shamelessly lifts plots, characters, and everything else from all sections of pop culture and blends them into a ridiculous, hilarious, unbalanced, and surprisingly fun fighting game. It's free to download, and is one of the few places where you can have Zhuge Liang order a volley of arrows against a Terminator who celebrates his victory by drinking a bottle of water and singing "I Believe I Can Fly."

Giant Bomb took at look at it here, Let's Try To Play took their crack at it here, and Joel from Vinesauce streamed (and fell in love with) it, as partly shown here. A quick look at it can be found here.


Dong Dong Never Die contains examples of...

  • The Ahnold: Gouki, especially during his bazooka super. He even has the accent.
  • Alternate Universe: This seems to be another alternate timeline of Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Da Lan seems to be some kind of authority figure (one of his followers lights his cigarette post-match) and is the only member of his crew fighting.
  • Big Damn Heroes: During the final battle against Sheng Hua Nan, either Dong Dong or Terminator help you out in a second match. Oddly, Sheng Hua Nan doesn't power up or call an ally of his own to boost his own power, so the second match is comparatively easy. Perhaps this is intentional so as to compensate for the first battle, which is rather grueling.
  • Bullet Time: One of Gouki's supers slows time and releases doves.
  • The Chosen One: Dong Dong is apparently the only one who can save the world (according to Time Magazine).
  • Combat Medic: Jie Mei Hua are two nurses who, despite throwing scalpels, otherwise attack with typical fighting game moves.
  • Competitive Balance: Completely averted with Sheng, with regards to his gun attacks. Infinite range, infinitely chainable, and can combo any opponent from full health. The only way to beat him is to get lucky with his machine gun spread, and then never let him fire his guns again. Its only weakness is that all of his projectiles aside from his machine gun super are high enough to completely miss ducking opponents, allowing a canny player to roll towards him and...probably get caught by his ludicrously-damaging and self-chainable breakdancing sweep kick.
  • Confusion Fu: Jie Jie has a Doppelgänger Spin teleport and one of his supers involves using his inner tube as a teleportation device to dive at the enemy repeatedly.
  • Enemy Summoner: Aside from the aforementioned Mian Hua Tang, Mo Shu Shi summons spirits to attack, while Terminator summons five human missiles for one of his supers.
  • Evil Laugh: Violent Dong Dong and Sheng Hua Nan have suitably hammy ones.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: Averted for Sheng Hua Nan. He's a tenor.
  • Expy / Shout-Out: So many. Just a few of the more notable ones...
    • Several of the stages are recreated expies of various Street Fighter stages.
    • The intro is more or less King of Fighters 98.
    • Dong Dong, Terminator, Sheng Hua Nan, and the entire plot are tied to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
    • Ken is...Ken.
    • Yin Yin's outfit might be a reference to Aya's from Oneechanbara. She also begins matches by riding Kokuo-goh onto the stage.
    • Liu Mang seems to be a huge reference to Shaolin Soccer and Dodgeball.
    • Mario is Akuma. And, well, Mario.
    • Da Lan has several mannerisms and animations homaging Michael Jackson.
    • Arcade mode has a bonus stage where you beat up a car, and a few bonus stages where you fight characters from Streets of Rage, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs , and a beat-'em-up possibly based on Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
    • Mian Hua Tang summons Optimus Prime.
    • On a related note, Xiao Pan wears an Autobot T-shirt, but otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with Transformers. Instead, he has Guile's move set.
    • Dong Dong, Violent Dong Dong, and Mario all have Akuma's winpose. Oddly enough, Gouki doesn't.
    • Fei Fei is basically a female Iori Yagami.
      • Speaking of which, Dong Dong has a move that looks like Iori's Shiki Aoi Bana and a move similar to Akuma's Shun Goku Satsu, but otherwise seems to be a pastiche of Ryu and Kyo Kusanagi.
    • It might also be notable that all of the music in the game is taken from various sources.
  • Extendable Arms: Wu Liao Jun stabs his arms into the ground and stretches them upward.
  • Eye Beams: A Shuang has them, and is something of a Cyclops Expy
  • Flechette Storm: One of Jie Mei Hua's supers surrounds the target with a ring of scalpels that then home in for loads of damage.
  • Funny Afro: Jie Jie has a huge fuzzy one that marks him as something of a crazy funster.
  • Gratuitous English: Mian Hua Tang sometimes says "Hey, guys! Come on!" and all of Yin Yin's lines are in English.
  • Gun Nut: Gouki dresses in camo and has plenty of guns (and a rocket launcher).
  • The Gunslinger: Gouki performs a few trick shots with his pistol during one of his supers and is about as direct an example of The Woo as anyone can be during another.
  • Historical-Domain Character: Zhuge Liang is in the game. And he starts fights by showing some leg.
  • Improbable Weapon User: Aside from Mian Hua Tang using her umbrella, there's Jie Jie, who uses a pink plastic inner tube, and Ming Boy, who uses a flute and paper airplanes.
  • Lady of War: Mian Hua Tang is dressed in a frilly and elegant getup, and is one of the few who fights with a melee weapon.
  • Les Yay: Jie Mei Hua seem to be a couple, though they're among the less overtly fanservicey members of the cast.
  • Lethal Joke Character: Ming Boy looks ridiculous, has a short melee range, takes noticeably more damage than anyone else...and has indestructible multi-hitting projectiles that might be the best out of the entire cast.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Yin Yin and Fei Fei have very fanservicey getups, and one of Fei Fei's winposes has her teasingly unzip her pantsuit halfway.
  • Multi-armed and Dangerous: One of Wu Liao Jun's supers has him stab his two arms into the ground, only to unleash a flurry of at least six.
  • Naked on Arrival: Terminator sometimes does the Terminator-style time travel entry.
  • Ninja Run: Ming Boy has possibly the least cool-looking version of this ever shown on screen.
  • Parasol of Pain: Mian Hua Tang's melee weapon is an umbrella.
  • Pint-sized Powerhouse: Mario is much smaller than the other characters, but just as dangerous. Sometimes even more, as his small size makes many attacks against him miss.
  • Power Floats: Huo Chai Ren and Ming Boy have floaty win-poses, while Violent Dong Dong has a floating pose for one of his supers.
  • Promoted to Playable: The usual depower is completely averted with Sheng Hua Nan and Violent Dong Dong. The playable versions are exactly as overpowered as when you fight them.
  • Public Domain Character: Sun Wukong is in the game. With a spray paint can.
  • Rain of Arrows: One of Zhuge Liang's supers has him call for a volley of arrows.
  • Rated M for Manly: Jian Ci Lang has a bit of Zangief's move set, fights at a construction site (to Ai wo Torimodose), considers two heavy-duty crossed chains an adequate replacement for a shirt, wields a claw hammer, wears another heavy-duty chain wrapped around his forearm as a bracer, and his winpose has him take the place of Kenshiro alongside Bat and Lin. Yes.
  • Sexy Backless Outfit: Fei Fei's pantsuit is open all the way to her hips in back, and her intro makes sure you get a good look at it.
  • Shotoclone: Dong Dong, Ken (naturally), Fei Fei (albeit SNK style), and Mario.
  • Spam Attack: Jiang Bao likes to use bicycle kicks and rapid-fire punches.
  • Stick Figure Animation: Huo Chai Ren.
  • Stout Strength: Jian Ci Lang.
  • Superpowered Evil Side: Violent Dong Dong is...Dong Dong's.
  • Time Travel: Naturally, given that the game's plot is Terminator 2.
  • Throwing Down the Gauntlet: The machines are kind enough to disseminate confirmation that "We Will Attack You Again" to at least one major newspaper.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: Yin Yin is the deeper-voiced grappler, while Mian Hua Tang is the frilly-dressed umbrella-user.
  • Weird Chinese Thing: Oh hell yes.
  • Wrestler in All of Us: Yin Yin and Jian Ci Lang are grapple-heavy characters.
  • X Meets Y: It's essentially Street Fighter meets Terminator 2: Judgment Day while severely intoxicated.