Video Game: Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
"YOU'RE WINNER !"Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is a "brake jammin', CB talkin', convoy rolling" action "game" for the PC, "developed" by Stellar Stone and released in 2003. The player controls one of four semi-trailer trucks on one of four (plus one, as another level was added in an "update") tracks, wherein the objective is to drive through the checkpoints and get to the finish line.Features never-before-seen freedom, as the trucks can go up cliffs, through buildings, and into an endless void. The AI is infamously brutal and unrelenting, so a challenge is guaranteed.See it for yourself.See also Euro Truck Simulator, which takes the basic premise of a Big Badass Rig driving game and goes in another, less hilariously broken but just as enjoyable (for a select few anyways) direction.
—The victory screen
This "game" provides examples of:
- A Winner Is You: The three-handled "YOU'RE WINNER !" trophy. It doesn't even spin: Rather than a 3D model, it's a static image. And the entire game (including the audio) pauses when it appears.
- Artificial Stupidity: In the base game there is no AI at all. If you download the patch, the opponent rig will move... and then stop short of the finish line because there is no code for what happens when you lose a race. If anyone but the player happened to win, the game would crash.
- Awesome, but Impractical: If you accelerate backwards to 12.3 undecillionnote miles per hour, all checkpoints light up and you automatically win. But considering it's impossible to lose anyway...
- Broke the Rating Scale
Johnny: We're not going to give it a score, it doesn't deserve one.
- GameSpot reviewer Alex Navarro kept his rating within bounds. He commented that the only reason the game received a 1.0 out of 10 (the lowest score ever given by GameSpot) was because they couldn't go any lower. His video review grants the "No. Just... No" Reaction rating as well."We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing"
- Net Jack apparently rewrote its code so it could award the game a zero.
- X-Play refused to rate the game. They didn't have a zero, and they were unwilling to give this game anything higher. As such it never received an actual review, but it was spotlighted in a segment on games that would have gotten a zero if allowed.
- Some Call Me Johnny also refused to give this game a score.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd is reduced to corpsing at the most egregious flaws, particularly at the "YOU'RE WINNER!" screen. He called it the most unplayable game he's ever reviewed."'YOU'RE WINNER' is the kind of stuff that turns horrible games into legends. It's the cherry on top of the diarrhea shake."
- A common problem that reviewers who tried to review Big Rigs have had is that, to even review it under normal constraints, one must acknowledge that it is in fact a game. Big Rigs commits so many violations of what should be allowable in any gamenote that it becomes difficult to categorize as a game more than it is a very incomplete and work-in-progress game engine with a few assets that somehow ended up on store shelves. As such there is no metric that can sufficiently describe it.
- GameSpot reviewer Alex Navarro kept his rating within bounds. He commented that the only reason the game received a 1.0 out of 10 (the lowest score ever given by GameSpot) was because they couldn't go any lower. His video review grants the "No. Just... No" Reaction rating as well.
- Covers Always Lie: A truck with flamesnote spouting from it rammingnote a police carnote with the tagline "18 Wheelsnote Of Thundernote ." Even the concept of this game as carrying cargo is debatable, as all vehicles end where they start. The back of the box◊ has advertising so blatantly false you'd almost think it was a satire. It mentions "features" such as "three levels of difficulty" and avoiding police, neither of which are in the game. The screenshots are also obvious mockups if you have seen any actual pictures of the game. The most laughable thing, however, has to be its mention of the AI that will supposedly challenge the most experienced driver (hint: read the rest of the page). About the only thing it actually gets right is the environments it lists off, and even that's making an exception for the track that will always cause the game to crash when it's selected.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Well, you ARE a big rig, racing over the road. The back of the box, on the other hand...
- Faster-Than-Light Travel: What you eventually achieve if you continuously accelerate in reverse. And when you release the reverse key, you stop on a dime.
- Foregone Victory:
- You absolutely cannot lose. Even if you download the patch to make the opponent rig move, it still stops short of the finish line. If it did somehow cross it, it would crash the game (or sometimes do nothing at all) because there is no programmed failure state.
- Sometimes the game's code has trouble distinguishing between starting and finishing, so you might win the race the moment you begin.
- Game-Breaking Bug: So many that it would be easier to count which things work properly than things that don't.
- Gravity Barrier: Averted, as gravity doesn't work.
- Invisible Wall: Non-existent. You can drive off the edge of the world and stay there.
- Long Song, Short Scene: The game contains some surprisingly catchy music... if it plays.
- Ludicrous Speed: Just how fast can your truck go in reverse? It depends entirely on how long you're willing to keep your finger on the Down Arrow or how long the game can run without crashing.
- According to one curious user on YouTube who went the distance, gameplay ends at 12.3 undecillion MPH (that's about 36 zeroes in that number). At that speed the truck can traverse the diameter of the observable universe in under 160 picoseconds. At that point the vehicle is traveling so fast the game considers it everywhere at once, so it trips the finish flag—including the checkpoints—and ends the race.
- The Mockbuster: The game has "18 Wheels of Thunder" on the bottom of its box. This could be seen as an attempt to fool people into thinking that it's an entry in the 18 Wheels of Steel franchise due to how similar the two titles are.
- Obvious Beta: And a buggy one at that, as shown by other examples on this page. For the sake of perspective: programming-wise, this "game" represents less than a day's work for an experienced game developer. In a desperate further attempt to pass it off as a real game, the devs released a patch fixing the opponent trucks' immobility and a broken map... and nothing else. And the opponent trucks now stop before they reach the finish line, and the "fixed" map only turned it into a mirror of the first map.
- The game is completely devoid of collision detection, and aside of the ground itself, you can drive through anything you encounter. This includes even bridges, which should allow you to drive on them, but instead you just sink into them and drive on the bottom of the dry lake.
- The game is an utter memory vampire - if you pull up Task Manager, you'll see that the game somehow uses 50% of available memory, way more than it should.
- The AVGN called it a charitable "pre-alpha" test.
- Unwinnable: Inverted. It's impossible to lose in this game, because your opponent does not even move.
- Zero-Effort Boss: Your opponent doesn't even move. Folks, it can't get any more zero-effort than this.
YOU'RE WINNER !