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troperville

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tools

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toys

Celebrities do it in the public eye:

• Stephen Colbert doesn't do it - he puts it on notice.
  • He also thinks that bears are deliberately doing it to destroy America.
• BRIAN BLESSED DOES IT WITH A LARGE HAM!
  • And so does William Shatner.
    • No... Shatner... does it... with... dramatic... pauses.
    • And... also... with... SCRREEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!!!
    • Alternatively, William Shatner does it with KHAAAAAAAAAN!
• Grant Morrison does it in the most confusing way possible.
• Garrison Keillor does it on the radio.
• Jeremy Clarkson does it in the best cars... *dramatic pause* ...in the world.
  • As you'd expect, James May does it properly.
  • Richard Hammond isn't tall enough to do it.
    • Or that he does it faster than any other Englishman, only to crash out half way.
  • Some say he's equipped with a V12 where it counts... and that he needs half a quart of oil to perform properly; all we know is... He's called the Stig.
• Schrödinger's Cat did it... or maybe not.
• Robin Williams does it fast with lots of improvisation.
• When Chuck Norris does it, everybody feels it.
• The Beatles do it Eight Days a Week.
• Ben Folds does it in the suburbs, just like Quiet Riot and Michael Jackson did. Except that they were talented.
• Dr. Seuss won't do it here or there; Dr. Seuss won't do it anywhere.
• The Mythbusters replicate it, then duplicate its results.
  • Then they keep on doing it until they do it right.
    • Or until they get a big explosion.
    • Adam Savage rejects your 'it' and substitutes his own.
• Mike Rowe does it as dirty as the viewers want it.
• H.P. Lovecraft does it with eldritch abominations and his thesaurus.
  • H.P. Lovecraft does it rarely but with adequate excellence.
• Bill O'Reilly says "Fuck it"... He's gonna do it live!
  • Bill O'Reilly can't explain how to do that!
• Joe Quesada does it with the help of Mephisto.
• Keith Olbermann does it with the clown and the manatee.
• P!nk does it in a net, fifty feet in the air. While singing.
• Jim Henson did it with hundreds of puppets.
• Jensen Ackles does it beautifully with Jared Padalecki (in a badass manner) for the ladies, while tied down to something.
• James Marsters does it villainously, every time.
• Tom Hanks does it comedically, then dramatically.
• Tom Cruise did it on a couch (and in the closet).
• Neil Gaiman used to do it in England, but now he does it IN AMERICA!
  • Once, he did it with Terry Pratchett, and now everyone owns a record of it.
  • Sorry, ladies, now he's doing it with Amanda Palmer, and we have a book of photos to help prove it.
• Sigmund Freud does it with trains and tunnels.
• Kanye West would like to interrupt and say someone else does it better for all-time!
• Rick Astley shows you how to do it in this video.
• Horatio Cane does it... *dramatic pause* With his sunglasses.
  • [YEEEAAAAAH!!!]
• Bryan Adams does it for you.
• Lady Gaga does it with her disco stick.
• 50 Cent does it In Da Club.
• Eminem just drank a fifth of vodka. Dare him to do it?
• Daft Punk does it harder, better, daster, stronger.
  • Alternatively, Daft Punk is doing it at my house...my house.
• Terry Pratchett does it*

* with footnotes.