Huh? What are-what are you doing here? Why are you here? I'm-I'm-I-I-...
You know what? Welcome. I've been here since about 2010. Twelve years later, I'm just making a page. It's about how things go in my life. I'm a linguist, so, if you wanna ask me questions about languages, I'm game to field them.
Tropes I've encountered via Truth in Television
- Air Guitar: Usually accompanying a Bill & Ted reference.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: Probably once thought this about my sister. As adults, it has been inverted, as I'm most definitely an irritant to her.
- Big Brother Bully: Not to a seriously-damaging level, but it probably helps explain why my sister doesn't take people's shit.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Given appropriate amounts of caffeine and tasks that are meant to occupy my mind, I can say some pretty outlandish things.
- Conlang: Love 'em. Love making 'em.
- Cut Myself Shaving: My default explanation whenever someone asks me why I have an injury but I can't remember how it happened. Especially if it's a bruise.
- Dangerous Clifftop Road: The reason southern Ohio scares me.
- Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: I sometimes can't tell when I've said something stupid aloud or not. I tend to get strange looks whenever I ask people what I just said because I didn't actually say anything.
- Dope Slap: Done carefully since they aren't my kids.
- Duck Season, Rabbit Season: Only seems to work on two-year-olds.
- Duct Tape for Everything: While I'm not entirely useless with tools, it is easily the first thing I reach for to solve a problem.
- Dude, Not Funny!: "Why are you laughing?" has become my go-to statement when it is clear that someone's awful joke is about to get their ass handed to them.
- Face Palm: If it's not covering my exasperation, it's because I'm trying not to laugh.
- Honorary Uncle: Probably due to actually being an uncle, many of my sister's friends' children readily refer to me as "Uncle".
- Insistent Terminology: I will start an argument with one of my nieces when they're using Internet slang.
- It's for a Book: I will attempt to gather information on strange things because I am a creative writer who likes to have the facts. I only have to say anything if people notice I'm paying attention to something that sickens others.
- It's Probably Nothing: Children have taught me that it is never nothing.
- Kill Steal: I will reluctantly admit to doing this in MSG: Battle Operation 2. Mostly because I tend to come out of nowhere after respawning and am trying to get my teammates to focus on the enemy unit that keeps targeting me.
- Leeroy Jenkins: I have been known to charge the enemy in MSG: Battle Operation 2 to provide my teammates an opportunity to get a better field position. I have yet to survive this tactic.
- Literal-Minded: I will respond to people literally even if I know what word they intended to use.
- Meaningful Name: My middle name is derived from one of my great-grandfathers. By extension, so is one of my nephews' names.
- Must Have Caffeine: Developed a dependence due to college.
- My Car Hates Me: Somehow, I always seem to regularly drive a vehicle with a faulty air conditioner. Which has now become a sign of impending malfunction of something unrelated.
- Narm: I have laughed at least five times for each one of my nieces or nephews throwing a temper tantrum.
- Never Live It Down: Ooooooh, yeah...
- Punched a wall in high school. My parents were merciless because I broke my hand in the process.
- Have microwaved food into fire three times. The only way it's been downplayed is that one niece is equally ditzy around microwaves.
- Oh, Crap!: I will sometimes force myself into this mindset if I'm running behind on the day's activities and there isn't a viable source of caffeine available.
- Omniglot: Not yet, but I do have at least a passing familiarity in a number of languages.
- Only in Florida: My dad has developed a game where he will read me an absurd headline and ask me if it was Florida, our state of residence, or (on occasion) Japan. I've got a pretty good record.
- Persona Non Grata: Not me, but my dad and grandparents have been thrown out of the exact same Mc Donalds for complaining about a messed-up order. I can only guess that shouting was involved.
- A Rare Sentence: I have a list of the stupid things my nieces and nephews make me shout at them.
- Soda Can Shakeup: My family tends to treat shaken soda bottles like live grenades.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: My mom was deaf in one ear and had hearing problems in the other, so she was often victim to this even when it wasn't intentional.
- In spite of my size, I can actually move very quietly and have a tendency to accidentally startle people.
- Take a Third Option: It took some time, but I have learned that the easiest way to prevent children from smacking dinnerware against a table, rather than trying to talk them out of it or acting like I'm gonna bear with it, is to just take the dinnerware away.
- TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life: One niece hates the fact that I read TV Tropes and can tell her about things before she can tell me. Of course, I point out that she only knows things about TV shows and video games because she watches You Tube.
