You can't. No, seriously. Good luck.
A Jerk with a Heart of Gold
(who keeps it hidden
of course), doubling as a Genius Ditz
with a pinch of Brilliant but Lazy
. Has his lulzsorandom
That is of course, All before you deliver him a nice glass of cold, hard, tasty reality.
Hey, man. Don't diss the pirate.
Oh, I'm also a Pirate
. Both Type 1 and Type 2.