[=MonkeyPhysics=] was named for the term he and his brother came up with to describe the various ways SuperMonkeyBall would make the late Isaac Newton [[{{Angrish}} incoherent with rage]] - which, independent of himself or his sibling, has already made it on to [[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=monkey+physics other areas of the Internet]]. Consequently, [=MonkeyPhysics=] curses "Stuart J".

25-year-old science nerd and jazz pianist/saxophonist, [[TopGear loves]] [[BatmanArkhamAsylum to]] [[MassEffect pothole]] [[BlackBooks anything]] [[RedDwarf and]] [[BrainBleach everything]] [[EightBitTheater to]] [[VGCats his]] [[TheGuardsMustBeCrazy favourite]] [[OverlyLongGag pages]].

Tropes present in his being:
* {{Angrish}}: Happens a lot. His playthrough of IWannaBeTheGuy was inundated with incoherent screaming.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Not actually ADD or ADHD, just easily sidetracked.
* BerserkButton: "You play an instrument? You're so ''lucky''!"
* BiTheWay: More like 80:20 straight:gay, but still applies. Kind of.
* BlindingBangs: First thing in the morning.
* BrainBleach: Let's just say he has poor choice in housemates.
* BriefAccentImitation: All the time.
* BrilliantButLazy: Supposedly.
* BuffySpeak: All the... er... what's the word? You know what I mean.. clocks... sundials... TIME!
* CarpetOfVirility: Subverted. He's got the carpet, but isn't particularly manly.
* CloudCuckoolander: At least among his lab group. Frequently forgets where he is, what he was doing, why he's holding a piece of filter paper...
** Acts like this around his family, too.
** And now, actively giving free rein to cuckoolanderism in his capacity as a "poor man's BillNyeTheScienceGuy just without the camera... or the funding... or the accent... or most of the awesome... but SCIENCE! Science is a thing I do! I'm sorry, I've forgotten the question. Who are you again?"
* CrowningMomentOfAwesome (sort of): Was at a "Saxophone Day" at a specialist music university, and wandered into a jazz improvisation workshop. After about an hour of failing to produce anything even vaguely noteworthy, he managed to pull a solo [[AssPull out of his backside]] that was later described by the tutor (who'd been rather... unafraid to criticise) as "excellent". Cue a gaggle of vaguely-cliquey students asking why they hadn't seen him before, assuming he was also studying there. The looks on their faces when he told them he was a chemistry major...
* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: A common result of pressing his BerserkButton.
* DamnYouMuscleMemory: Ever try moving from a keyboard with non-weighted keys to a full-blown piano (or vice versa)? Owie!
* DeadpanSnarker: To his friends. When hanging out with a few former housemates he quickly becomes the OnlySaneMan complete with FacePalm, YouKeepUsingThatWord, FlatWhat and occasional SarcasmFailure.
* DitzyGenius: According to his mates, anyway.
* ForgetsToEat: Not as a result of being intensely focused on something, more like his brain being, er, [[IncrediblyLamePun out to lunch]].
* GuiltComplex: Keeps him in NeutralGood territory.
* IWasToldThereWouldBeCake: Practically a RunningGag.
* JustAStupidAccent: It lives in a triangle of sorts - the corners are rural Galway, relatively generic Oop North and suburban New South Wales. It likes to wander around the triangle a lot.
* MadScientist: Sort of. Is both a scientist and slightly mad, but doesn't fit the trope.
* MotorMouth: When talking science.
* MustHaveCaffeine
* NeutralGood - or at least trying to be.
* NiceHat: Two - a dark brown fedora and a white trilby.
* ScreamsLikeALittleGirl
* SidetrackedByTheAnalogy: Side...tracked? Am I a train? I don't think I'm a train...
* SpellMyNameWithAnS: Well, a Y.
* [[WhiteHairedPrettyBoy White Haired Not Particularly Pretty Boy]]: Sort of. Greying rather worryingly quickly.
* WideEyedIdealist on a good day. As an example, he decided to add this as the [[SugarWiki/MostTriumphantExample Most Triumphant Example]] of [[SoCoolItsAwesome So Cool It's Awesome]]:
-->You. Every last one of you. Nothing more than an organised mass of molecules, and, well, just look at you! You're commanding countless electrons just reading this entry. You've taken a collection of noises and squiggles and arranged them into something with definite meaning. You can think, you can reason, you can imagine, you can dream - and I'm honoured to share this universe with you.