After writing here for three hours power went down for the whole city block (happens to me a lot), so now i have to recall all of it back. Damn. So hi, people call me Shaddy and
i'm 20-ish okay i'm 21 now, big deal. Let me get the obvious stuff out of the way first: i like video games, a few TV series and heavy music. This time i'll lead with my interest in sciences, physics and psychology in particular, so that the psych-profile wall of text that will follow does not appear out of nowhere.
I'm a very introverted person, INFP, according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and it shows a lot - my lifestyle consists mainly of spending hours upon hours upon days by myself and i have maybe three two friends total note (somewhat by choice) and i very much suck with people. I'm generally very skeptical of anything outside my comfort zone, which means i replay the same games, re-watch the same shows and grind the same music over and over again, except when by some stupid accident or forced "recommendation" from a friend i discover something new. I also forget things a lot, which ties neatly into the point above.
I find the universe fascinating and i'd very much like to understand the way it works, which is why i'm interested in natural sciences like physics, on marco- and micro- scales - particle physics and cosmology mostly (i tend to be black-and-white like that), but also the human mind. I figure it's natural from a human point of view to separate reality into "people" and "the universe", so i guess that's why it's physics and psychology. I wanna know everything - from the next-to-nonexistent interactions between the lowest states of matter and energy, to the way the universe evolved (maybe from.. the multiverse..), to the way the chemicals flowing through our neurons translate into emotions that drive us (if someone wants to get me a birthday present i want the Hubble Space Telescope or a couple tons of LSD, thank youu).
I have a contradictory personality, i'm generally a nihilistic cynical misanthropic wreck of depression, but lapse into occasional idealistic/atruistic episodes. The better part of my life so far has consisted of trying to find out which of the two is my "true self" and which is the antidote. Maybe mom loved me a bit too much too, since it turns out 70% of my brain is "female" (i might have forgotten to mention that my genes seem to disagree). It shows too. Probably why me and the world can't stand each other, having the worst of both genders distilled into my personality and all. Okay, I just wrote a whole paragraph's worth of self-deprecation and realized this is starting to sound like a bio on a dating site, so enough of that. Let me move on to
Places where i can be found
- What remains of my artistic days
- My YouTube channel, which i still maintain for some reason.
- I also listen to music..
- ..and play video games.
Tropes i associate with
- A Shared Suffering
- Cynical Mentor - was one to my best friend for 10 years, after which he betrayed me and went his separate way. I expect he'll become one to someone else in the end.
- Extreme Doormat
- Intertwined Fingers - love, love this. Did i mention i love it?
- The Philosopher, with bursts of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness
- The Slacker
- While Rome Burns
- The Eeyore
- And Lonely Together is my kind of romance i guess
Music i like..in general
- Behemoth, a bit
- Blood Red Throne
- Bolt Thrower
- Cradle of Filth
- Cryptopsy - very much, but only stuff before "The Unspoken King"
- Dimmu Borgir
- Iniquity (you shouldn't have heard of these guys, but if you have, my hand goes out to you in respect)
- Lamb Of God
- Pig Destroyer
- The Scourger (you shouldn't have heard of these guys either, and they
arewere even cooler, so if you have i'll bake you a cupcake or something)
TV shows i likeDescending from my all-time-fave
Games i likeAlphabetically i guess
- Assassin's Creed
- Diablo 2 (occasional episodes lasting up to a few months, separated by years typically)
- First Encounter Assault Recon (unlike most people, i liked Project Origin better)
- Fallout 3
- Grand Theft Auto 3
- Ground Control 2
- Mass Effect (currently my favourite)
- Painkiller (my general favourite)
- Prince of Persia (Warrior Within, The Two Thrones, 2008)
- Quake III: Arena
- S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (great game, despite it's flaws; all installments)
- World in Conflict