"Everything happens for a reason; usually, it's because some idiot out there screwed something up."
"It looks like shrimp, smells like shrimp, feels like shrimp, tastes like shrimp... It ain't shrimp."In short, a bastard techno-freak with a Hair-Trigger Temper and a colorful vocabulary. Cali is widely known as a fan of Japanese culture (Anime included) and of sharp weaponry. A friend at school usually supplies her with pocket knives, shuriken, and other things that can fit in a backpack without being noticed - Sometimes, even things that can't fit into a backpack. At eighteen years old, she's more worried about being tried as an adult than anything else. She is set off by even minor things, and she can be fierce in retaliation; if she's quiet, she's plotting. If she's not, then beware of flying textbooks. Cali has extreme tomboy-ish qualities that make it hard to tell which gender group she actually belongs to. As noted by a friend, he "didn't know what [she] was until the school field trip where the rooms were segregated". Also, don't ask her if she wears panties when within talking distance. Even with her bad qualities, Cali is fiercely loyal to those she considers friends, and will defend them (Vocally or physically) whenever they need it. She shows her love via punching, kicking, picking on, and sometimes verbal assault, but it's just her way of caring since the idea of "love" is fairly foreign to her.
- On school lunches.
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Writing and Art
- Mabaka! - Her most popular work, a comedy/romance genre so far. Ongoing status, first posted on September 15th, 2009. Currently revising little by little, since her writing has improved greatly since then.
- Akemi is a first year high school student who lives with her dad at Segawa Shrine; she stresses about school, has a foil best friend, has a tendecy to be ill-tempered at times, and is bored with the normalcy around her. Rokuro is a Type 1 magic student from the second dimensional plane; he's lazy, silly, has trouble controlling certain types of magic, and frequently has a hard time thinking things through. Rokuro gets trapped in something called dimensional transport, which is commonly used to travel in between dimensional planes when one hasn't the ability to do so himself. Unfortunately for Rokuro, he doesn't have that particular ability, being a novice wizard yet, and can't return on his own. As if that weren't bad enough, he's crash-landed on Earth... and in Akemi's yard. Tropes page here.
- Her deviantART. Currently not taking requests of any kind because she still has one to work on, and is procrastinating to impossible levels. Has most of her original artwork and stories on here.
- 3:1 Ratio, which is a short story running congruent to Mabaka!. Was originally supposed to be a oneshot, but then it got to be too long and Cali ended up deciding to split it into chapters. Word of God says there's only going to be five at most. The first chapter went online 8/26/11, and it's better than it sounds. And, predictably, there's going to be word puns. Tropes page.
- A genborei is ghost who was never alive to begin with, who simply manifested in the afterlife one day as ectoplasm. Takumi, just barely a teenager, is one of these. Come his 15th year, his master Yomi decides to give him six months to spend on Earth as a living person for the sake of experience. What Yomi failed to mention was that Takumi would be living with the Ishimura family and their Bratty Teenage Daughter Maiko. He also failed to mention that another genborei, Kenga, wants Takumi's unique abilities for himself. A better summary can be found here.
Tropes That Apply
- Action Girl: Subverted in the fact that she has four years of Shi Do Kan karate under her black belt, but is rather lazy 90% of the time.
- Agent Scully: Also Agnostic.
- Annoying Laugh: She has many different laughs. All count as annoying.
- Asexual: And does not take kindly to being called a lesbian.
- Author Avatar: One story she writes uses characters who are literally characterizations of her closest friends - Just in manga format.
- Berserk Button: Too many to list right here.
- Blue Eyes
- Bokukko: Generally uses masculine pronouns when speaking in Japanese, as she refuses to use atashi, or even watashi sometimes.
- Book Dumb: Incredibly. Her parents don't seem to think so, though.
"You are not dumb, Cali. You read The Chronicles of Narnia when you were four."
- Break the Cutie: Not about to put her whole life story on here, and not about to tell you.
- Brutal Honesty: Don't take it personally unless she tells you to.
- Catchphrase: See the top of the page.
- "I hate when people mistake my sense of humor for cruelty!!"
- "Hey, you wanna know something?" or "Hey, guess what?" are typical conversation starters for her. More than often followed by a "... Nevermind, I forgot."
- Chaotic Neutral: Arguable.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Used to be really bad as a preteen. She's quieted down since then, however.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Will go to great lengths to keep herself entertained.
- Completely Missing the Point: Extremely common, especially when she's tired.
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: As a child, whenever she misbehaved, her mom would hit her with oranges. Nobody's really sure why or how her mother thought of fruit as a suitable punishment...
- Deadpan Snarker: Speaks Sarcasm as her first language.
- Devil in Plain Sight
- Disproportionate Retribution: Offered to her victims at no cost.
- Excuse Me While I Multi Task: Is perfectly capable of watching TV, doing homework, listening to music, talking to her friends/parents, eating, and giving sarcastic comments all at once.
- For the Evulz / It Amused Me
- Hair-Trigger Temper
- Handshake Substitute: Knuckle punches FTW.
- Happily Adopted: The "happy" part is debateable.
- Heroic B.S.O.D.: Happened when she was down in Florida, and she saw one of the biggest spiders in the world sitting on it's web in between two trees. She had to bind her lips together with her teeth in order to keep herself from screaming.
- Im Not Angry
- Improvised Weapon: "Anything and everything can be used as a weapon if it's within grabbing distance!"
- "For example; This plain sheet of paper, here... I'll curl it up tight and poke your eye out with it."
- Jerkass / Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Whichever she becomes depends on her mood.
- Knife Nut: Buys katanas, cleavers, and any other sharp object she comes across. Her mom has hidden most of them from her.
- No Sense of Personal Space: When in her Insanity Mode.
"Am I in your personal space? Am I in your personal space? Now? Am I in your personal space-?""YES, YES YOU ARE!"
- Mistaken for Gay: Constantly, with her "I will never date a guy" attitude.
- Otaku: She also believes that there is a fine difference between otaku and weeabo. Don't confuse her with the latter.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: So pale, a friend jokingly calls her transparent. "At least my personality isn't transparent!"
- Slasher Smile: She usually grins like this when she's hyper, in a revengeful mood, or just got an idea on how to piss off her friends. Certain times, it borders on Psychotic Smirk.
- Tempting Fate: Happens way too often for her liking. A recent example would be when she had her flight to Japan booked on March 9th. "You know, I have a feeling I'm about to get screwed, here." Two days later...
- What the Fu Are You Doing?: Tried to use nunchaku as a child. Failed horribly. Complete with some rather un-amusing injuries...
I Can Deal With These...
Hooray for no more third-person speaking.
- Different races and cultures. Despite some jokes I tend to make on the fly, I accept all kinds of people.
- Puzzles. I like trying to figure things out, but if things get to difficult, I quit early on. One of my more negative traits.
- Critics. Because I know they only try to help you.
- Jokes about my ethnicity and such. I usually take to these pretty well.
- Stubborn technology. I hate it dearly, but I'm not about to throw a fit over it.
- Religions. Fine, fine, believe in God or whatever. Just don't try to force your Catholic crap on me, and we'll get along fine.
- That whole "gay rights" thing. I'm pretty impartial to it, but I do have a certain feeling of Squick whenever the topic is brought up. I blame the numerous amounts of yaoi fanart on the Internet.
- Dissecting things. Freaking love it, even though people get nauseated by it. I've done it with no gloves, too - Pulled out a pig's brain with my bare hands.
I don't even.
- Idiots. Holy crap. No. I am surrounded by about 1,600 of these every day in school, I don't need any other nuisances bothering me when I just want to be left the fuck alone.
- Teenage girls. Most of them, anyway. I'm sorry, but I don't understand why they have to constantly put on make-up, why they obsess over good-looking guys, why they fangirl squeal at every boyband and girl singer (I'm looking at you, Justin Bieber), why they get squicked out at the sight of blood, why they have to be so self-concious about their looks, and why they're generally huge bitches.
- This one girl named Alyssa C. Man, that is the first person I've ever thought about seriously murdering, and have actually tried to do it. It was a failed attempt, but I tried to poison her by putting bleach in her water bottle. Still continuously dream up new and creative ways to murder the bitch.
- Spiders and anything else with more than six legs. Just... ... ... Ergh. It depends on the species, however, as not all of them make my skin crawl.
- People who are pussies. Seriously, grow a spine.
- Flamers who say "holy shit this sux ass ur a horrible writer and u have no life experience, i can tell because you write like a weeabo". I especially hate anonymous reviewers who do that. If you're going to flame with little to no grammar skills, at least make up an account and post YOUR writing; we'll see how much better it is. People like this have no balls and can just go die in a hole. On that topic,
- People who don't use proper grammar when typing. I am OCD about this, and will not hesitate to correct you on your lousy writing skills.
- Haters who hate for no reason. Sub-type of flamers, I guess, but I can't stand people like this. And speaking of which...
- Rabid shippers/weeabos. These people make me embarrassed to have anything to do with anime and manga. Just because you like anime does not mean you can go around calling everything "OMG SUPER KAWAII DESUUU~~~!", and sprinkling other random Japanese throughout your English sentences. Watching anime does not make a Japanese expert, and these people are complete morons. Also, don't hate a character just because they get in the way of your OTP, children. It makes you seem childish if you go "HOLY SHIT I HATE CHARLIE BECAUSE HE GETS IN THE WAY OF BOB AND ALICE, THE STUPID BASTARD!!!11!@!".
- Those sexist "women = kitchen" comments and jokes. I fucking hate those. I really fucking hate those.
- Otaku who believe that they are in love with a character. I don't understand these people, and I really don't want to. But if I see these people trying to guess a character's bust size, saying that they write poetry about the character, that they dream about her, that she sets them on fire, we're going to have issues.
- TAG! I KNOW YOU!