Tropers / Dorpadin

Dorpadin is the name of a small, terrier-like female human meatsack who spends more time than is healthy connected to the internet. She has a near-photographic memory, which causes her to place in the "genius" range on most standard IQ tests, yet still retain the attention span and general poise of a brain-damaged chihuahua. She is also narcoleptic, requiring prescribed amphetamines to remain conscious for more than a few hours at a time.

When faced with this creature, one is advised to approach slowly. Sudden movements may draw the Dorpadin's attention to you. If the Dorpadin notices you, do not panic. Remain calm, and attempt to engage the Dorpadin in friendly banter. When her guard is sufficiently lowered, quickly grab the Dorpadin around the waist and place her atop the nearest tall object. Her tiny stature and short, weak legs will ensure that she remains trapped indefinitely.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Dorpadin