Too Dumb To Live / Jokes

  • A blonde having a medical examination didn't want to take her headphones off. She kept telling the doctor, "If I take them off, I'll die." Her doctor assured her she wouldn't, so she took them off. After a few minutes, she fell over dead. The doctor put the headphones to his ear to listen. It was a recorded instruction, saying, "Breathe in.... breathe out. Breathe in.... breathe out."
  • A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are chased by a Serial Killer. They find a barn and hide in potato sacks. The killer comes and shakes the first bag. The brunette goes "Meow! Meow!" "Just a dumb cat" says the killer while shaking the second bag. The redhead goes "Woof! Woof!" "Just a dumb dog" he says, and then shakes the third bag. And the Dumb Blonde goes "Potato! Potato!"
  • Two men were walking through the woods when they found tracks. One said they were deer tracks, the other said they were elk tracks. They were still arguing about it when the train hit them.
    • Another variant of this is three drunken men stumbling around on railroad tracks: the first one complains "these railings are way too low", the second one adds "and these steps are way too far apart" and the third one finishes with "it's OK, judging from the noise, the elevator will be here shortly".