Stealth Pun: Jokes


  • There are a number of riddles of the form "What's the difference between a X and a Y?" where only the first half of the punchline is ever given, to avoid speaking profanity. Suffice it to say there are many half-punchlines with the word cunning in them, followed by a word that rhymes with hunt and doesn't start with the letter C.
    • What's the difference between (annoying female celebrity) and the Panama Canal? Well, the Panama Canal is a busy ditch ...
    • What's the difference between a smart midget and gonorrhea? A smart midget is a cunning runt ...
    • What's the difference between a tailor and a bad viola player? Well, the tailor tucks up the frills...
    • What's the difference between a chiropodist and a bad drummer? Well, the chiropodist bucks up the feet...
    • What's the difference between a clever spoonerism and a fart? One's a shaft of wit...
    • What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? One of them shucks between fits...
    • What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer? One of them clucks defiance...
    • What's the difference between a baby and a high-school choir director? The baby sucks his fingers...
    • What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? The pickpocket snatches watches...
    • What's the difference between Barnum & Bailey's Circus and a line of Playboy bunnies? The circus is a cunning array of stunts...
    • What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul...
    • What's the difference between a snake and a goose? A snake is an asp in the grass...
    • What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? Well, one's a sick duck... I forget the rest Trebek, but your mother's a whore.
    • What's the difference between the manager of Barclays having a fight and Inspector Fowler having a conversation? Well, one's a warring banker...
    • What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? A goldfish mucks around a fountain...
    • What is the difference between a tv evangelist and a bottle of fix-a-flat? One heals souls...
    • What is the differnce between a Professional Cobbler and a Tv Evangelist? One sews heels...
    • What is the difference between a lousy archer and a constipated owl? One can shoot but not hit...
  • One interpretation of the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke is the chicken committed suicide, thus going to "the other side" as in the afterlife.
  • A new twist on an old joke, and requiring a bit of a fancy vocabulary comprehension: What do you get when you cross a standard thoroughfare with a common galliform? To the other side. For those who need it explained... A standard thoroughfare is a road, and a common galliform is a chicken, so when you cross a road with a chicken, you also get to the other side
  • A somewhat well-known joke concerns a pair of hikers who die while rock-climbing. As their souls ascend to heaven, they see a pair of eagles and exclaim, "Ah, eagles!" The eagles, to be polite, say nothing.
    • "Ah, souls!" (Say it out loud. Works best with a British accent.)
    • Another variation involves a flounder and a sole who bump into each other on the bottom of the ocean. Same punchline.

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