Sorting Algorithm of Deadness
Using the scientifically Infallible power of the Sorting Algorithm of Deadness, who do you think is the next in line for being brought back from the great Bus in the sky?
To use the Algorithm, simply add the Column's "Death Value", and divide by the number of applicable rows.
If the character hasn't died yet (but seems likely to), see Sorting Algorithm of Mortality. All of this is trumped by the First Law of Resurrection.
Currently, Shirley from Code Geass and the real Caulder from Advance Wars: Days of Ruin have scored 4, the highest possible. The latter is more notable by having 4 in every category instead of getting the CLAMP bonus that the former got. Bowser is the leader of the death-defying derby at 1.5, even beating South Park's Kenny. However, some of the later deaths in Smallville could get scores lower than that. Chloe Sullivan's death in Fracture manages to get the perfect score of 1, but no one takes it seriously now that she had "died" about five times.
Baseline Example: The death of Superman.
Cause: Heroic Sacrifice, so he's not coming back from that too quickly, or the sacrifice will be cheapened. 3.
Average: So add it up... we get a pretty high score, 19! Since it's not a videogame, divide by 7, and we get... 19/7 = 2.7, meaning supes isn't coming back for at least a few months, maybe even years. In actuality the Death Of Superman happened in January 1993 and he came back some time before May 1994.
Total: 22.5/8 = 2.8125 — Maybe back later (but sometime soon)
Oh look, she comes back early in the next season!
The show-runner has claimed he wanted us, in the gap between seasons, to ponder Starbuck's highly ambiguous post-mortem appearance. Is she an Obi-Wan style hallucination, or properly Back from the Dead? Let's see if the algorithm can tell us.
Cause of Death: Redemption/suicide, so 3.
This show has previously been at pains to establish that Anyone Can Die: 4.
Body: Never Found, and the search was called off, on the always suspicious grounds that No One Could Survive That. Looking more hopeful. 3.
Characterization: Some fans characterize Starbuck as The Hero (with a low chance of permanent death) while others see her as the fracked-up The Lancer to Apollo's more straight-arrow Hero (which would make her much more expendable).
But: we've been frequently told she's The Chosen One, and tellingly, we still haven't seen what this might entail. So lets give her a 1.
Died and come back?: Not unless you count her surviving a crash landing in season 1, so 4.
Final, non-algorithm bit of evidence? She's an asbestos-coated Plucky Girl.
Average: (19/7 = 2.71) Conclusion? A fine effort at keeping us guessing, but still, very probably back in the flesh.
Starbuck is an uncertainty lich. She has been observed in the same shot, at the same time, as being both dead and alive. We just haven't observed which version 'is' Starbuck, as one must wonder if one can be in both states at once...24
Cause: Killed by the guy who killed his wife... I'd say that counts as a Bridge Drop, he really wasn't sacrificing himself for anything. 4.
Reaction: No Really Dead Montage (though in 24, only Teri got one of these), no silent clock. I'll count it as He's Dead, Jim. 3. (For what it's worth, there was a bit of a "Really Dead Montage" for him. But still, no silent clock ...)
When did he die?: Right now, the same year in the 24 timeline... 2.
Average: 2 + 4 + 3 + 1 + 2 = 12, 12/5 = 2.4... somewhere between Back Next Episode and Back Next Season. 24 fans begin to wonder why the writers chose TONY to be the one they brought back for season seven...
We'll go ahead and do Jack Bauer (end of season seven) too.
Cause: Heroic Sacrifice, he contracted a deadly disease to stop the deployment of a bioweapon. 3.
Body: Ended the season comatose. I'll count that as Frozen. 2.
Reaction: "I'm not ready to let you go." Indication that his daughter will do anything to save him... quite hopeful... 1.
Last Words: A series of final speeches given to both Renee Walker and an imam. 3.
Characterization: Protagonist. 1.
When did he die?: Same arc. 1.
Died and came back?: Twice, technically. 2.
Average: 3 + 4 + 2 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 = 17/8 = 2.13. Of course they're not going to kill Jack Bauer off. He'll be back probably the first hour of season eight. They MIGHT have him spend a couple hours in a coma (if they want to highlight Renee some more), but he's Jack Bauer, he'll be back snapping necks and killing terrorists by hour three at the very latest.
And finally, Teri Bauer.
Cause: Killed by her husband's coworker/ex-lover. Bridge Drop 4.
Reaction: He was a third tier character and has had only his sister angsting over his death with an "It's Personal". (2).
Characterization: Red Shirt from day one (apparently confirmed by the actor as well), only barely hinting at Mauve Shirt, it only got worse when he and his sister ran into Sylar, at which point he was the third wheel in a tertiary plotline. (4).
When did he die: Same Year, so (2).
Average: 19/6, Add it up and you get... 3.16. Bye bye, Alejandro.
Died and came back: Only one of the Doctor's regenerations could really be considered "dead" (Seven-to-Eight), and even that's more of a heavy anaesthetic. He was also in his Ninth incarnation erased from time by some Clock Roaches (and got better). - 2
Average: 16/8. 2.00. He wasn't dead. And he didn't post the letters personally either.
Characterization: Protagonist; however, Generations was a torch-passing movie. 1.5
When did they die? 10+ years ago. 4.
Average: 19/6 = 3.166... Sorry fanboys. Your only hope to see the good captain alive again is if by some miracle they greenlight a movie covering her maiden voyage. And we all know that's a crazy notion.
Or IS it? (Although that's an Alternate Continuity. And even though it features the original Spock, the producers stated they discarded featuring the original Kirk because he died)
The Borg Queen (The Voyager death, not the First Contact one)
(4+2+4+3+3+1+3+4)/8=24/8=3. Since the "time" aspect of it will increase over the course of the next season, and, unlike Artie, there was no way for him to come back yet established, he might just be gone. If he does come back, it will almost definitely be because of H.G. Wells' time machine (it will be Mac Phearson earlier in life, of course, but same guy).
S3 finale was quite a massacre of characters. Let's see, chronologically:
Cause: Pure irony, considering Dexter postponed their honeymoon in order to kill her murderer after he had already killed Rita, who was supposed to leave early specifically to AVOID THIS. Basically the definition of a 4.
Genre: Death is usually limited to the Big Bad of the season and Dexter's victims. 3.
When did they die?: Eko's brother died many years ago, while Jack's father just died before the series began. Splitting the difference, it's about 3.
"Died" and come back?: Not until the series starts, so 4 (until the series begins, after which it changes to 3). 3.5 works best.
Average: (4+3.5+3.5+4+3+3.5)/6 = 3.5833333333333333333333333333333. They're definitely coming back. Then again, we know that since it's already happened. (Note that most or all of them were actually the smoke monster/The Man in Black in disguise.)
Genre: With his death, the series has reached the official Anyone Can Die status, 4.
Body found? Dead but not buried, 3,5.
Characterization: One of the main protagonists, 1.
When did he die? Same arc, 1.
"Died" and come back? Thrice, when he was thrown from the eight floor, when the hatch exploded and when Ben left him for dead in the pit, 1.
Average: (3,5+4+3,5+1+1+1)/6 = 2.33. The black shirt dude who has taken his appearance better be careful, 'cause Real Locke is quite likely to come back with vengeance.
Just for fun, Nikki and Paulo.
Cause Of Death: Death by Irony. It was Nikki's own stupid fault that she didn't listen to Arzt when he told her that the scent of the spider would attract others, plus the whole "Paulo lies"/"Paralyzed", plus just opening your eyes as the first shovel of earth hits your face when your friends bury you. Pretty darn ironic. 4
Genre: As stated above, 3.5
Body found?: Paralyzed and buried. Paralyzation practically over when the rest starts burying them, so I count this as a left for dead. 1.
Reaction: Not really a montage, but they get a really long funeral scene and the whole episode is centered around them being buried alive, so 4.
Last Words: Nikki gets a pretty Famous Last Words: the whole "Paolo Lies"/"Paralyzed" thingy. 3
Cause of Death: Redemption/heroic sacrifice (after being turned into a Replicator, she "destroyed" herself (and all her non-violent Replicator followers) because "Replicators are too dangerous to exist"), although since she stepped through a Stargate into space, technically her cause of death was Jumping. I give her a 3 anyway.
Genre: Stargate Atlantis has had manyAnyone Can Die moments, especially with regard to Mauve Shirts and other supporting characters. Since they brought back Dr. Beckett, however, the status of main characters has changed from Anyone Can Die to Disney Death. I give her a 2.
Body Found?: Her body's drifting in space, but since she's a Replicator, other than boredom that might not be that much of a setback. Definitely Frozen. 2.
Reaction: A lot of extremely sad expressions from the entire cast. She's Dead Jim. 3.
Characterization: Was a main character with top billing, but as the civilian leader she wasn't part of the Five-Man Band. I'd give her a 1.5.
When Did They Die?: Same Year. 2.
Died and Came Back?: First she was brought back as a clone, then in her final, final episode her original mind possessed the city's computer before downloading itself into a Replicator body. So she's done it twice. 2.
Average = 2.21. It seems they could just dial the Stargate and pick her up if they ever need a friendly Replicator to run a mission for them. They could easily bring her back for a cameo in the final episode or even the DVD movie which is going to be the Grand Finale. Then again, they "killed" her off in the final season of the show, so it's entirely possible that was her send-off, and she'll stay dead (if that's true, her manner of demise is truly ridiculous).
The apparent death of Stargate Atlantis's semi-main antagonist, Michael, about 3/4ths of the way through the final season of the show.
Cause Of Death: Thrown off the top floor of the Atlantis main tower. Of course, death by falling counts as Jumping if we don't see the impact. 1.
Genre: Supposedly Anyone Can Die, as they're been pretty free about bumping off Mauve Shirts on a regular basis, although with both Beckett and Weir back from the dead, the show's now 100% Disney Death when it comes to main characters. I'll split the difference and give it a 3.
Body Found?: Apparently not, as it's not mentioned at the end of the episode. They Never Found the Body. 3.
Reaction: Not much, actually. The characters briefly discuss the galaxy being a safer place now that he's dead, but that's pretty much it. He's Dead, Jim. 3.
Characterization: Was pretty much the closest thing the series had to a Big Bad, due to the lack of a central Wraith villain. If the Wraith = the Daleks,then Michael = the Master. I'll put him down as an Archvillain. 1.
When Did They Die?: A couple episodes ago, so Same Arc. 1.
Died and Came Back?: On two occasions, the Atlantis team thought he was on a ship or planet they had just blown up. In both cases, they were wrong. Of course, both times the writers obviously left the door open for him to have escaped, something that's missing from his 1000-foot drop off a tall building. Still, back from the dead twice is back from the dead twice. 2.
Average = 2. Maybe they'll bring him back in one of the DVD movies. With his Wraith Healing Factor, there's a Million to One Chance he might have survived. And he might have had the foresight to clone himself, too, seeing as how he did it to Dr. Beckett.
Genre: Killed Off for Real happens to many side-characters, or at least it did in SG-1. 3. However, characters such as Ford's season two status always die and always stay that way. So, should be 4, but let's go by the book. 3
Body: No. 3
Reaction: Doesn't quite fit any of the choices.
Characterization: Ex-regular. 2.5
When: Last seen mid-season two. Season four just ended. 2.5
Died and returned: Last seen in situations that looked bad before, but never quite this bad. 4
2+3+3+2.5+2.5+4= 17/6. Final death value: 2.833. Ford's chances of returning eventually aren't so bad. However, the writers seem to have forgotten him, which may prove more final than any pesky exploding ship.
Cause of Death: All the main characters get together and unload boxloads of bullets into him, and Cameron finally finishes him off with multiple armor-piercing shotgun blasts to the face (which is powerful enough to rip open part of his metal "skull" and expose the machinery inside). No One Could Survive That (Except Ahnuld already did in T2). Sarah also smashes his "chip", which (being essentially his brain) is about as permenant a death as you can get. 2.
Genre: A pretty Darkerand Edgier show, with lots of side characters being killed left and right (quite a lot of it done by the main characters). However, none of the main cast/Five-Man Band have died (except for Cromartie himself), so thus far it's been Killed Off for Real. 3.
Body Found?: Buried in the desert by the main characters. Sarah says she'll come back later with something to destroy it completely, but we never see her actually do so. 4.
Reaction: Everyone at the burial has an air of finality (and relief!). He's Dead, Jim. 3.
Characterization: Was apparently the main antagonist for most of the show's running (and even made the main cast title credits in Season 2), but now halfway through Season 2 they seem to have introduced an actual Big Bad in the form of Corrupt Corporate Executive Catherine Weaver/the T-1001. So, I'd split the difference and give him a 1.5.
When Did They Die?: A couple episodes ago, so same arc. 1.
Died and Came Back?: Was decapitated by a particle beam rifle and considered destroyed, but pulled himself back together and came back for more. So, he's done it once. 3.
Average = 2.5. I supposed there's an outside chance Cameron switched the chips around, and kept Cromartie's chip for herself while giving Sarah the chip she saved from several episodes back.
Well, apparently Cromartie himself is dead after all, but his body is currently being used by Zeira Corp as a mouthpiece for SKYNET.
Sha're, Stargate SG-1
Cause of Death: Was under control of a goa'uld and attacking Daniel, forcing Teal'c to kill her. I'll make it Redemption Equals Death - 3.
Genre: Mostly Killed Off for Real. There explicitly exists a means of bringing someone back from the dead (sarcophagus), but the Good Guys avoid using it. Make it 2.5.
Result: She came back to life in the same episode after being dead for three hours. Rather anticlimatic. She had other deaths, but it is either All Just a Dream or "Death? What's That?" Due to Resurrective Immortality.
Chloe Sullivan (Fracture)
Cause of death: It'd count as a Heroic Sacrifice, but not when she kind of knows she can't die, 1
Audience Expectation: Death Is Cheap, just look at the Smallville entry, 1
Body Found?: Unorthodoxly, Clark tells Lionel to leave her for dead, 1