"Dear John Freeman, How are you? I Miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving diner. Love mom."
A lot of fanfiction falls under this regard. Sturgeon's Law
has its part to play, as do Stealth Parody
and Troll Fic
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Anime and Manga
- The Battle is apparently a short Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic that goes nowhere. It starts with the author inserting somebody named "Trey" who apparently knows karate and beats a bully up. Then they appear out of nowhere inside Yugi's head, then they appear at Yugi's game shop. Infamously, the author even pairs himself up with one of the female characters, Téa.
- BECAUSE I'M GERMANY is a hilariously well-written (as in, not having horrid grammar) Troll Fic (usually have) from the Axis Powers Hetalia fandom. The title itself is the Catch Phrase of the titular character whenever he was asked why he "LIKE TO KEEP IT WARM IN A NICE DOG", or anything else he did, really. Insanity includes repeated use of "KAWAII DESU" and some Gratuitous French and Spanish, Engrish done by -of course- Japan, someone getting impregnated by TWO BEARS, whale becoming president, Mpreg, alien babies, necrophiliac, so on, so on...
- Dragonball N is a piece of flash animation so terrible it's utterly brilliant. 'I can't help but save the day!'
- Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic Fuery Plus Havoc Equals Love seems to go out of its way to be as awkward as possible without being a poorly written Lemon. The entirety of it consists of Havoc backing Fuery into a closet, while Fuery is randomly worrying about whether Havoc knows about his undying love for him. Havoc tells Fuery he loves him, and panics because he thinks he ruined their friendship. Fuery confesses that he loves Havoc too, they make out, and their clothes fall off. Mustang and Edward then walk past where the two were having their... event, and they act like they saw something only slightly abnormal and shrug it off almost immediately after fleeing the scene. The whole thing is hilarious, but Havoc has a line shortly after Mustang and Edward find him and Fuery that is pure gold, and I don't want to spoil it. This is so awful, that I couldn't help but enjoy it, despite shying away from fanfics of this nature.
- Hailing from Gundam 00, the fandom got a horribly-written fanfic entitled Gundam 00M: Marina's Figth posted on 4chan's /m/ board. It's full of typos, Gratuitous Japanese (also misspelled at times) and creative licensing with the titular character, much to the excitement of those who normally hated her. Also featured were some crossover characters from other Gundam series and historical figures such as Eisenhower. As a result, many readers of the supposed troll's piece found themselves laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, the threads were never archived, but this seems to contain all chapters which actually existed.
- Hamtaro 2, created by LegendofWii. The videos are gone but it had to have been seen to believed.
- Also by the same guy, My Roommate's a Pokémonďż˝ No, seriously.
- Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami. Light's evil(er) twin brother Dark comes to visit Light's family (in America), and brings with him the king of the Shinigami and his Death Note, which lets you kill someone without knowing their face... or name. Sayu meanwhile turns out to be a lesbian and seduces Misa to steal her Death Note, while Yotsuba&! makes an accidental crossover. Oh, and Light uses the horrifying phrase "better make it a foursome" in reference to his brother and sister IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS in the most scarring Oh, Cisco! moment ever.
- It is almost impossible to accurately describe Love's Grande Quest without breaking out in laughter. It is a Haruhi Suzumiya fic... but Haruhi doesn't appear at all. Her role is given to an obvious Purity Sue. The prose is so ridiculously over-the-top that at least one reviewer called it Crazy Awesome. Mikuru is a "dragon maiden" and the villains are so cartoonish and Obviously Evil that one has to wonder how the main character ever thought they were trustworthy in the first place.
- Meduka meguca is a series of 4chan forum posts intentionally badly reciting the events of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Full of spelling errors and horrendous Off Model pictures, it is nevertheless true to the plot and so extremely awesome it achieved Memetic Mutation status.
- Nareto The Scret Of Shiobi is pure comedy gold, including things like the "Acutesushi" and Zabuza coming back to life to eat Might Guy's corpse.
- Ojamajo Doremi Rise Of The Shadows is an Ojamajo Doremi fic that gives a viable premise that is sadly ruined by bad pacing, generic plot, bland villains, an Ass Pull or two, and finally a Deus ex Machina. It has spelling and grammar errors along with a few internal notes. The author herself even flat out says in some notes that she "[does] not care". The rants she gives are relatively laughable, so it makes up for it there.
- One night of the drop of rain is an Axis Powers Hetalia fanfic in the same way Lisa is Pregnant is a Simpsons fanfic. It reads like a "Blind Idiot" Translation, with bits of other languages that didn't quite translate peppered throughout, but from the looks of it, it wouldn't have made much sense in its original language anyway. The story begins with America and England having sex (or something) when Canada bursts in and professes his love for America. Then Kumajirou shows up and professes his love for Canada, except he turns into Alaska and... you know what, there's no coherent plot to be found. Nothing we could say could possibly do it justice. Read it for yourself, if you want to make sense of it—not that that provides much of a clearer picture.
- Pokémon: Attack of Mewtwo, in which
Mewtwo Mewthree blows up Oak's lab for no reason and the Mary Sue protagonist's Pokémon are altered using "genetics" to fight his clone army. The spelling and grammar are what really make the fic. Possibly a Troll Fic. Definitely bad.
- Snow Angels is a Haruhi Suzumiya fic that focuses on Yuki and Mikuru. If you think that this is here for Relationship Writing Fumbles, you are dead wrong. This fic is listed here because of the over-the-top wackiness and Narm. Canon is thrown out the window practically from the first chapter due to Rule of Cool, featuring such gems as Mikuru getting a Humongous Mecha and a dinosaur, and pretty much every battle is a Curb Stomp. Sadly, it has now been taken down.
- Teh Wirst Fanfic Evar!!1 is the creation of some people who can actually write, done as a jape to mock horrible fanfiction. Succeeds hilariously. Two Words: toe rape.
- Todai Days is an Azumanga Daioh fic featuring the girls at Tokyo University (which BTW is almost Japan's equivalent to Harvard)note , where they're picked up by some self insert Gary Stus. What puts this fic in this column is Kaorin turning from Shrinking Violet Schoolgirl Lesbian to full-bore Ax-Crazy Yandere when Sakaki goes out with one of the guys, beating them nearly to death almost once every chapter. Narmiest line: "No, he's gonna pay! IN BLOOD!!!"
- Tokyo Crystal Mew is your standard Tokyo Mew Mew Spin-Offspring fanfic, or it would be if it weren't turned into its own animated series using MS Paint and Windows Movie Maker. After the initial shock wears off, it kind of becomes hard to outright hate it. (Especially the later episodes, which show an improvement in the artwork and pacing.) Even 4chan has the occasional Fan-Art thread dedicated to it.
- Voltes V vs Voltron: the Godaikin Wars The only English language Voltes V fanfic on the Net is an eighty-four chapter of what appears to be an angry Voltes V fanboy's treatise on his irrational hatred for Voltron. With the superficial premise of a villain named Paul the Imjad stealing the Galaxy Alliance's "Encyclopedia Universale" microfilm and framing the Voltes team for it; both villain and microfilm were completely forgotten in favor of Voltron having sound effect-laden battles with Voltes V, as well as Combattler V, Daimos, Science Ninja Team Gatchaman and even Space Sheriff Shaider, and gets its ass handed to it every time. The Voltron Team's canon heroic personalities were all thrown out of the window and replaced with straw Jerkass and Straw Loser attributes in an attempt of the author to discredit them, but it's all to anviliciously drive the point that Voltron is absolute crap and is not deserving of all the attention. Add the Rouge Angles of Satin, blatant plagiarism note , outright Flanderization note , one Poison Oak Epileptic Tree after another, and the rather amusing posturing of the author in response to the angry Voltron fans (just read his "answer" to said Voltron fan here); and we get an epic Fan Wank of the highest order.
- The Darker Knight is a self-admitted Batman Troll Fic. After being falsely accused of murder, Batman teams up with his cousin (aptly named "Batcousin") to hunt down Two-Face. Hilarity Ensues... as well as a bajillion celebrity cameos.
- Garfield in: "Along Came a Splut" has to rank as one of the most nonsensical fanfics ever written. The plot, if it can even be called that, makes no sense at all, and abuses Massive Multiplayer Crossover without any given explanation, and combines callous character behavior (Garfield throws Odie to the moon for just being in his way) with inexcusable bouts of Cowboy Bebop at His Computer (It starts with Garfield playing a video game about a guy named Metroid, and later he encounters a guy literally named Blade Runner, who runs on roller blades) and tops it all off with one heck of a Gainax Ending, ripped almost wholesale from 2001: A Space Odyssey. It has to be read to be believed. Eventually, the author came forward and said that the story was a Troll Fic written as a cheap joke in literally half an hour, and he also disowned it due to its needlessly mean spirited content.
- Once upon a time, a Batman fan decided to write a song parody. Specifically, one based on "Poker Face" entitled "Joker Face". Though painfully obvious, the idea isn't without potential... but not when the "parody" consists only of the original lyrics with "Joker" in place of "poker".
- Peter's Revelation, a FoxTrot fanfic that re-defines Random Events Plot.
- ShakespeareHemmingway's Garfield fanfics must be read to be believed. Incoherent English, incoherent and sometimes ripped-off plots, and almost all of them somehow end with what we can presume to be sex. Yet at the same time they are awesomeness and apparently take place in an Alternate Universe where Garfield isn't just a Cool Cat, Garfield is an immortal MANLY badass of incalculable proportions, and hilariously so, especially once you realize that the author is taking this perceived awesomeness seriously.
- The Human Centipede: Love at First Bite. MST here. A PWP fic that attempts to make the original film lighter and softer by pairing a Mary Sue with Doctor Heiter, who's lost all his evil depravity and just wants to boff her brains out. Would be in So Bad Its Horrible territory if it weren't for the author's use of unusual euphemisms such as "his bratwurst" "her Santa's Grotto" and "plundering the village". The FanFiction Critic also mocks it here.
- Root Her!, an utterly insane Jurassic Park fanfic that revolves around an extra named "Joffrey" (apparently named after the actor who played him) getting raped to death and eaten by a female velociraptor while Muldoon watches and masturbates. It would normally be horrifying were it not for the fact that the author was obviously having a blast trying to think of the most ludicrous Purple Prose and unusual euphemisms imaginable to refer to what's going on; the act of Muldoon jerking off is referred to as him "energetically pumping his purple shotgun", the raptor is described as a "carrion-scented Aphrodite", Joffrey gets sprayed with "putrid velociraptor love Tabasco", the word "velocigina" is used at one point... it just goes on and on in a carousel of WTF-ery. Read the Topless Robot MST-ing of it here.
- The worst thing about this? The author actually seems to be a competent writer.
- Yoda. And. Tequila.
- Celebrian has a whole meta-game around it based on trying to get people with weak stomachs to read it. Even then, the story has its fans simply for being full of Narm and for being so laughably over-the-top in its Squickiness that it Crosses the Line Twice. Someone even started a dramatic reading.
Reviewer: It's not that it's so disgusting, but it goes ON AND ON. And it's so BORING. How can torture, S&M and all that other crap be so irrevocably BORING? Half the time I don't even go 'ew'. I just look at the scroll bar and think, "What? Not even halfway through? GOD!"
- Not nearly as bad, but still a sterling example of how crappy fanfiction can get, is the Harry Potter tale called A Sad Story. It's a oneshot wherein Harry is regularly beaten by Uncle Vernon, falls in love with a girl with her own abusive guardian, and is killed. The author doesn't give a damn about continuity, characterization, or common sense. ('... he grabbed Harry by the neck and dragged him to the garden Shed. He padlocked the door with at least 20 locks.')
- "... His Uncle then pulled out a shotgun, with a silencer on it..."
- Or Uncle Vernon's line, "It's too late, my dear".
- the awesome adventures of amynda in the fayz!!!!! is basically My Immortal meets the Gone series. It has literally no plot, manages to combine No Bisexuals with Everyone Is Bi, and has such egregious Protagonist-Centered Morality that the "good guys" literally whip young children for fun, while the "antagonists" don't seem to be guilty of anything but existing.
- The Harry Potter fanfic "Becoming Female". It starts off as the usual Harry-is-turned-into-a-girl-by-a-potion-accident-and-gets-paired-with-Draco story, but then it gets
worse better. All the male characters disliked by the author, particularly Ron, are "sexist" in a ridiculously over-the-top manner and even refer to themselves as "sexist". Female characters disliked by the author tolerate this and are thus considered "sluts". Might be a Troll Fic, but it's hard to tell as the author claims it's partially a comedy, which would explain the occasional random humor ("At that moment, Dumbledore rode into the hospital wing on a unicycle wearing an old-fashioned bathing suit."). You can see a Dramatic Reading of the first half of chapter one here.
- The Troll Fic hypothesis seems likely, given that each chapter starts with an utterly insane description of what all the female character are wearing, as well as the near-constant "I also had underwear on".
- There's a sporking here. There used to be a sequel titled "Being Female", but it seems to have been deleted. It included a memorable part where "Crystal" is sent back to live with the Dursleys, who turn out to be "Christian fundamentalists" and the portrayal is as ridiculous as you're imagining. The first chapter, at least, survives here.
- Another Harry Potter fanfic with the delightful name of The Chronicles of Merlin: The Return, which features Harry as the reincarnation of Merlin. Pretty much everyone (save maybe Ron and Hermione) are Out of Character, and includes such gems as Draco inviting Harry to stay over the summer, but adding "My father still has a problem with mixed bloods and the poor, so Ron and Hermione can't come".
- What happens when you take an original-flavour Harry Potter Mary Sue, pair her with Ron the Death Eater and heap on the Deus Angst Machina until it crosses the line from tragedy to hilarity and sends her into the willing arms of Draco Malfoy? You get Dark Secrets, which can be read in its NSFW entirety here.
- Deserving, which is what you get if you combine the plot coherence of My Immortal, the prose composition of The Eye of Argon and the tastefulness of FATAL. Featured on weepingcock twice, and described by one sporker as "not quite as bad as Hogwarts Exposed".
- A similar Twilight Badfic by the name of Forbidden Fruit: The Temptation of Edward Cullen. Atlantiana Rebekah "Tiaa" Loren, a moody young lady who speaks in internet acronyms, enrolls at Forks High, where she promptly grabs everyone's attention, including that of
the hawt pale guy Edward Cullen, who is now speaking a baffling combination of Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe and ALL CAPS, a 'fat and bald' uncle who subjects her to two paragraphs of IKEA Erotica rape, and a 'tall white man' who announces himself to be her father. Combine this with the protagonist's status as a gothic vampire and the fact that the story positivley thrives on Rouge Angles of Satin, and claims that this may be My Immortal's greatest rival thus far don't seem too far off. Also, there's a talking panda bear. A talking, gay panda bear.
- Forbidden Love: The Iliad. It's only one paragraph long, but what a paragraph it is. The fact that it's about the freaking Iliad only makes it worse.
- The Girl Who Lived series, a half-rewrite (the other half is just ported directly from the actual books themselves with minor tweaks) of the Harry Potter books with a Gender Flip and a whole lot of other changes. Pretty much the biggest and most direct Canon Defilement possible, it starts out by arrogantly decrying J.K. Rowling for screwing up the series and goes about "fixing" it by removing every single one of Harry's flaws while also (intentionally or unintentionally) completely changing his personality to a Sociopathic "Hero". Instead of a ruthlessly oppressed kid living under the stairs that eventually becomes a mediocre wizard with heart, "Rose" is now the poster child of New Powers as the Plot Demands (with plenty of "hey, look at me, I'm cool!" stuff to go with it) while getting away with pretty much everything. Watch as the series completely paves over everything "bad" about the canon and introduces Plot Holes by the truckload! Marvel as Rose torments her "friends" in ways that make Voldemort seem tolerable! Endure as the series goes to extreme lengths for Author Appeal while denying it every step of the way! One would suspect a troll like My Immortal, but if so, it's certainly an obsessive one.
- Goffik Blood, another My Immortal clone that would probably be unremarkable if not for how completely and utterly bizarre it is. As one would imagine, the spelling and grammar are atrocious, but it's also littered with author's notes in which the writer halts the plot to make strange proclamations like "LUV TRAUMAS R ZO HOT" or "vampyrs arnt homo sapeins", and to call the story itself a Random Events Plot would be a severe understatement. It has something to do with Mary Sue character Goffika Sorrows randomly falling in love with Voldemort (also known in-story as "Volxemort", "VOLDEMRTRT", and on one notable occasion, "VOLDNEBGREOUUBU"), and then killing him, Enoby herself making a cameo only to die as well, Voldemort inexplicably coming back to life to get "TREVENGE", only to fall in love with Goffika and rape her "sexily", a skirt that can destroy things, Hagrid getting sacrificed to "Stan", a talking horse that was actually Goffika's friend Blood who also raped her but then didn't... really, absolutely nothing in this fic follows logically from anything else. The entire thing is a huge, poorly-spelled Mind Screw.
- Harry Potter, Gay Demon, a fanfic about how Harry wakes up one day looking incredibly sexy. He then proceeds to have sex with anything from Sirius in dog form to all five Weasly brothers at once. He somehow winds up being Hogwarts' (and, namely, Draco's) Sex Slave. Notable for the massive cock sizes, absurd amounts of semen, emphasis on Harry's 'man-pussy' and its usage of Not If They Enjoyed It Rationalizations.
- Harry's Darkness—it's like My Immortal the Slash and M Preg edition.
- Hermione's New Change is about Hermione finding out she's adopted and is actually Draco's cousin, and of course they enter an incestuous relationship. Only the first two chapters are here because it was deleted from the original site, but it still contains some gems.
- Here is a copy of the full story.
- Hermione's Talent is basically what you get if you throw My Immortal into a blender with Jerry Springer and Glee. It's every bit as hilariously terrible as you'd expect. The fraction of the fic that isn't copy-pasted anachronistic song lyrics sports horrible spelling and grammar and everyone says "fuck" every other word. There are no descriptions, everyone is wildly OOC and Hermione's actual talent is nowhere to be seen. And as if all that wasn't enough, there's a random pointless rape scene.
- HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, a.k.a. Thirty Hs. Particularly impressive in that it's so indescribably twisted that it has no flames in over a hundred reviews. Warning: starts out somewhat squicky, but gets much worse after about chapter three.
Prophecies Prophices is likely a trollfic, but it's still hilarious as it can be. It's a Warrior Cats fanfic and you've really just got to see it to believe it.
- Part of what makes it so hilarious is that, with its actually okay-ish grammar and spelling, it genuinely seems like a ten-year-old girl doing her damnedest.
- Hogwarts Exposed, in general it's just plain bad but some of the dialogue edges into So Bad, It's Good. "Most certainly it's wrong to expose your private area!"
- Hogwarts of Heaven by Silver Suffering. Every single chapter of this... thing makes no sense. Here is an example with the first sentence. "Chestere Le Valiente played a rocking electric guitar solo on his shiny wooden saxaphone and wondered what life would be like if he was a female 16 year old Indonesian gymnast who was secretly working to bring down the government and force the world to wear pink tuxedos." Random cameos include Squall Leonhart, Penelope Pitstop, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chuck Norris, Shinji Ikari and Dorothy Zbornak. Also, the author seems to plan to write 100 chapters of this...
- Horny demigods and gods is a Percy Jackson fanfic by Connorkenway00 is either this or a masterfully done trollfic. The author's first fanfic, the story or lack thereof, writing style, title and description, and less than strong grammar fit the definition of smut to a T. The spontaneous sex scenes and bizarre dialogue, such as Annabeth's "sexist bra" is side splitting.
- The Harry Potter fanfic Imma Wiserd deserves some mention; the story is beyond absurd. Everyone is a gangster or a white "rassist" in Hogwarts, including Harry Potter who as it turns out is black but a white actor was chosen instead for the audience. Perhaps its defining sequence is a game of Qudditch where not only are all the houses in play, but the Ravenclaw team are all killed by Voldemort before the match begins, leaving the lead characters Soulja and Harry to win the game... and then the Ku Kux Klan appear and start shooting at the protagonists.
- The writer of this is hilariously convinced that Snape is a Jew because he knows big words (i.e. non-slang words) and thus has him use a giant dollar bill like a flying carpet. Later on, Hermione decides not to travel back in time, to when Biblical figures attended Hogwarts (!) with Pontius Pilate (Or "Pumpass Pilot") as headmaster (!!), based on the absence of pretty dresses and sewing machines (!!!) in the past.
- Did we mention that Hermione's Patronus is a vacuum cleaner?
- Recently rediscovered by snarker Serkadios, Twilight fanfic The Kronicals Of Rebecca Swansin has been sitting on fanfiction.net for about two years, almost completely unnoticed. Since being found, though, it has gained love (and several headcanons and one Fan Fic, possibly with more coming soon) by the same people who brought you the Brewdening Love Expanded Universe.
- The Last War would be terrible for the way it turns Harry into a Gary Stu, Ron into an abusive monster, Hermione into a Distressed Damsel and later a murderer and bigamist who never faces any consequences and Ginny into the third Fat Slag. However, the overwrought angst drives it here instead. Even before they start dancing to "Always" by Erasure, whose connotations seem to have escaped the author.
- Legolas: Back to the Future, which is basically a Canadian teenage girl's diary with Legolas stuck in somehow. Notable for its aggressive wholesomeness and lack of nearly any standard "Fictional Character is 'Bamfed' Into The Real World" tropes. The fic's gone from fanfiction.net now, but you can find an MSTing here.
- Particular note must be made of the shamelessly blatant Mary Sueness of main character Crystal, who reveals her self as (in no particular order): an excellent cook, singer, musician, dancer, horseback rider, mechanic, a practitioner of La Savatenote capable of throwing standing kicks above Legolas' head, a church youth group leader, possessing of a Death Glare that could cow anyone (including Legolas) and she teaches a music classnote at the local community center. And oh yeah, she's also telepathic and telekinetic.
- Legolas By Laura is a masterpiece of terrible spelling, worse grammar, Beige Prose, and incredible amounts of Narm ("... and then one of the Orcs striped her and then he raped her and then Laura said "go away you bastard"."). Best experienced in hammy Dramatic Reading form, courtesy of Man Without A Body: 
- Moon Daughter: According to one reviewer, "So this is what Percy Jackson would look like if it was written by a 13-year-old with a low IQ while high." It follows an emo Mary Sue, Flavia Knight, the only daughter of Artemis, as she hates on preps and blondes, bashes the Out of Character Canon cast, and tries to decide whether to be a virgin "like her mom" or seduce Nico di Angelo. Or Alabaster Torrington. Or Hades. Or Chiron... (the list goes on.) Also features Mr. D. watching porn, Annabeth being turned into a "grape with no soul," and lines such as:
- "Hate drove me like preemium fule."
- "Kronos laughed like Hitler after killing a Jew."
- My first Christmas with Harry potter. Yes, it's awful wish fulfilment. But it's worth it to see dialogue like this:
"Harry potter stop your going to make me drop this." missy said giggling
"Hey you did promise me that we could have some adult fun time when I got home from work." Harry said
"Ok we will have some adult fun time now." missy said
- The infamous My Immortal, a plotless Harry Potter fic that stars Ebony Dark'ness Dementia
Raven Tara Raven Way, a "goff" [end sarcasm quotes] Mary Sue pastiche (mostly Jerk Sue) with "icy blue eyes like limpid tears" who's So Beautiful, It's a Curse. The author managed to turn everyone into either a goth "goffik" or a prep (like Dumbledore, who has a robe with Avril Lavigne on it) and the spelling gets worse and worse through the fanfic. Whether she's a troll or if the author was serious when she wrote it is under debate, but if it's a joke, that means she's one of the most meticulous trolls in history. It's the only fanfic that's been turned into a movie and a published novel. It's also been translated into a dozen languages.
- My Immortal isn't so bad it's good, it's so horrible it's awesome.
- The part about being translated into a dozen languages is especially impressive, since it was barely even written in English. Try listening to a dramatic reading of it without reading along.
- Passion Night, a mercifully short Lupin/Sirius Slash Fic complete with IKEA Erotica, 10-inch wangs and lovingly described fluids. Not to mention Shapeshifting Squick. Features the following hilarious exchange (yes, all those vowels were in the original):
"COME ON BABY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sirius shouted.
"IF I GO ANY FASTER WE WILL BE AT HYPER SPEEEEEED!"
Lupin shouted trying not to moan while he shouted.
- Phoenix's Life is a Harry Potter fanfic which has achieved legendary status on Pottersues for one Narmtastic line:
- The Redwall fanfic Shadow Rapes Matthias. Well, at least you can't say it doesn't deliver what it promises. Crash course: Matthias is the mouse hero, and Shadow is the ninja-thief-rat sent by the villain to infiltrate Redwall Abbey. In canon, they were onstage together for about three seconds, which consisted of a fight/chase scene as Shadow attempted to get the MacGuffin back to his boss. MST'd here. Be warned that Matthias is, for no apparent reason but the obvious, noted to be 13, at least according to Word of God and the TV series. The author's note which says so could be a clumsily phrased attempt at saying he's meant to be older in the fic, but just in case. The same author did two more fics, featuring Martin the Warrior and numerous other male characters performing physically implausible actions, which are also MSTed on the linked blog. Watch out for the completely random Spellsinger Shout-Out.
- The MST is nothing short of brilliant, for all three of this horrible author's works. Bonus points for bringing in Romsca for the last MST, which turns out exactly as twistedly awesome as one could hope.
- SHERLOK HOMS, a trollfic written by famous DA troll Manty64 in which "Sherlok Homs", Ben, and Wallace Wells must catch "Soicide Mouse" and "Soicide Sonic".
- Shits Bricks, a seven-line "poem" about how Severus Snape... doesn't actually shit bricks but farts them.
- Again in Redwall, the Transplanted Character Fic Soulless Shell, found here. Loaded with Accidental Innuendo, No Punctuation Period, a Marty Stu to end all Marty Stus ... MST can be found here.
He slashed him in the stomach then he hit him on the floor now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity
- Behold Nick The Swing's terrible, but hilarious, fan fiction of Harry Potter: Stand My Ground, the My Immortal Parody designed to exceed My Immortal!
- Starkits Prophecy. There are thousands of horrific Warrior Cats fanfics out there, due to its tendency to attract young readers who don't really understand the plot, but this one takes the cake. The "plot" begins when StarClan recieves a prophecy, obviously regarding a sparkling Mary Sue known as StarKit, proclaiming that "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." It goes downhill from there. StarGleam winds up with at least four toms in love with her (all of whom are much older than she is, and one of whom is her great grandfather), becomes a warrior after 3.14 days of apprenticeship, delivers the (brutally massacred) Ten Commandments (of which there are eleven) in an obvious attempt to evangelize the writer's own beliefs, takes over as leader when Firestar steps down for her, and has many more Rouge Angles of Satin-filled adventures. It's truly magnificent, be it a Troll Fic or not.
- Highlights include:
- "And held out... SOME JEW!"
- "GayStrip locked at hr meanly."
- "Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem!"
- "'!' said StarPaw ass she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# she culdnt choss!"
- "'WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?'"
- "'theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/ saud JayFeather."
- "Everyone jumped at the HoBare!"
- "AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!"
- "'MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!' yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!"
- Thomas Joshman (first book, second book, third book, fourth book, fifth book, sixth book) is a series of... well, he never says they're Harry Potter fan fics, but it's set in a world just like Harry Potter. Almost every character or concept has a clear equivalent (Tom = Harry, Tim = Ron, Quelfree = Snape, Bendrist = Dumbledore, Milkenshland = Hogwarts, Teams 1-10 = the Houses, etc.), and it isn't unusual for actual phrases to be lifted (albeit misspelled and out of context) from the Harry Potter books themselves. It also includes bizarre dialogue, including quite a lot of ridiculously specific times ("He saw Quelfree scold Frederick for being on the pitch 2 Ľ seconds late"). Strange equivalents are chosen for Harry Potter's plot points - for example, whereas Harry was suspicious about the wound on Snape's leg, Tom was suspicious about Quelfree's "scrunchy face" (which I can only assume means that his face has been replaced with a hair tie). The author sometimes seems to forget which things are different from Harry Potter - for example, Milkenshland looks like a "normal human-looking school" in the first book, but it's a castle in the others, and the plane they take to school is referred to as a "train" at least twice. Some characters are also incredibly stupid, managing to forget key plot points just so that the reader can find them out in advance. Tom is even amazed that Tim knows the names of their closest friends, apparently never managing to learn them himself. Here are a few more quotes:
a Team 10 boy with blonde hair walked up the corridor and said "Haha its Joshy. His stupid famous 30 year old mother was a pile of sweaty socks. Births in 1981. She would've died if that idiot Joshy wasn't born".note
Quelfree looked like he just been battered by a bowling ball so Tom said to Tim "Has he been battered by a bowling ball" until Tim was confused and asked "What's a bowling ball" Tom said nevermind and Quelfree gave them both detentions for no reason.
"What's a Crinker" asked Tom. "Evil dolphins that can survive on land, they feed on Human and Wizard prey for jokes and cannibalize their own species when they die for fun" explained Tim. Suddenly a green eyed dolphin grabbed Tom's leg and it got bitten off. Tim helped Tom to the hospital quickly until Oswald met Tim again and tripped them over into the Crinkers. Tim lost an ear and a nose while Tom lost a hand and 3 eyelashes. Tom woke up in the hospital a week later with 50 bandages on him.
- Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre stars "Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz Cullen" who was later renamed "Twila Beautiful Psyco Topaz Sad'ness Damian Cullen". It contains a gratuitous Buffi The Vampir Slayer Cameo, a thoroughly OOC Bella, now cast as an Alpha Bitch-esque cheerleader, Tiaa doing a Operation Jealousy with Edward's dad who turns out the be the devil, and Edward, Twila, and Hamez killing Bella, and then eating her bed.
- The Warrior Cats of WolfClan series by Flamestripe of Wolfclan. A massive Marty Stu, ridiculous plot devices (like everything randomly going backwards, a cat with a cowboy hat, and talking wolves who bring cats back to life), a skewed sense of morality, how every single time a cat dies their tail twitches and they're okay, and the overblown nature of the story, create a masterpiece of bad writing.
- Warrior Mouse Code is a Warrior Cats fanfic... about the clans' prey. Bad grammar, a Marty Stu who, even though being a mouse, befriends Firepaw, is teased for being a half-breed,as a habit of spouting curse words constantly and is made 'second deputy' because that's just how the mouse clans work. Seriously.
- Winnie The Pooh Assimilated By The Borg. A Crack Fic of the highest order. The Borg invade the Hundred Acre Wood, murdering Rabbit before assimilating Pooh. The rest of the story consists of Pooh of Borg assimilating or murdering everyone, eventually ending with the entire cast part of the Collective or dead. Should be terrible, but the sheer over-the-top nature (Pooh of Borg kills Piglet over not sharing his honey) elevates it to this level.
- The very words "Pooh of Borg" alone justify the existence of this work.
Live Action TV
- The Ben Chatham Adventures, a series famous among the Doctor Who fandom for the tititular Marty Stu, blatant rip-offs of 70's Who, utterly detestable characters, excessive Flanderisation of canon characters, blatant misogyny and classism and frankly bizarre recurring features (Fox's Glacier Mints are apparently equivalent to class B drugs). Whether you believe it is really a Stealth Parody or not, there is something innately attractive about its Narm Charm, bizarre plot twists, and hilarious lines of dialogues such as "I am eternally grateful that you saved me from a good rogering by Henry VII!"
- Drug Lord Rapist - originally posted as durg lord rape - a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit fic in which we learn that
durg drug lords have nothing better to do than skulk around in alleyways looking for unsuspecting Mary Sues and, well, guess.
- FESH PINCE BACK HAVEING FUN is a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air script fanfic done by a self-insert who can't really spell for shit, a story that doesn't really make sense, and a bunch of other oddities. Dug Seachang calls Carlton "Carton", Uncle Phil "Uncle Pill", and worst/best of all, Geoffrey "Giraffe"! It's almost like satire towards the 90's live comedy TV shows.
- The Mash fan-fic "THE GRAND RAPIDS O'REILLYS", in which every proper noun is in all capital letters. The first chapter is about RADAR marrying NURSE BIGALO while FATHER MULCAHY becomes a PENTECOSTAL minister after stealing barrels and barrels of holy water from THE VATICAN all because he has a dream in which GOD orders him to so. This is only the first chapter, there are over 25 chapters with titles such as "RADAR GOES FORMULA 1" "RADAR AND THE BLACK PANTHERS" "RADAR MEETS THE BEATLES" "RADAR MEETS THE GREEN HORNET" and "RADAR VS ROSEMARY'S BABY"
- Me My Life And Glee is a Glee fanfic involving Canon Defilement, Major Out of Character-ness, Horrible Spelling / Leet Lingo and a character named Clarity Rosalina Ama'ranth Hillary Arwen Faith joining the glee club because of Santana, oh wait Mary Magdalene -as she is now called- telling her she needed to join. Afterwards pretty much every guy falls in love with her. Yes. Every single one. Though admitingly it is hilarious that her hair "shons in da Monlight" even though it's during the day. The whole thing slightly resembles My Immortal except that the author's personalities seem completely different. Possible Stealth Parody. It's not completed yet so hold on tight.
- Picard's Illumination. One of the few fanfics ever to combine Narm, Relationship Sue, and even Die for Our Ship into truly
Enterprisingly entertainingly crappy Star Trek fanfic. The Sue ends up committing suicide so the Picard/Crusher ship isn't affected.
- The Star Trek fanfic "purr hormones", in which Spock and McCoy have badly-written sex with each other while being wildly Out of Character. Oh, and this is after McCoy has sprouted cat ears and a tail. He purrs when aroused. See the Dramatic Reading here. Immortal lines include, "The green blush grown on Spock's face. How could logic win against a hot purring Doctor?"
- Sinefield, a nonsensical Seinfeld fan fic with a plot that makes no sense and a load of typoes. It's likely a Troll Fic, but it's also hilarious, especially in this dramatic reading.
- Star Trek: The Next Fornication. Pretty much Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Contains the immortal line "'Surprise!' said Riker as he boned young Wesley up the ass."
Tabletop RP Gs
- A Homestuck fanfic, the creatively titled Homestuck high (sic), has been posted on FF.net. It's almost reminiscent of My Immortal in some ways. It starts out as a High School A.U. of Homestuck before quickly going into some bizarre plot about Sollux (who is a demon for some reason) trying to impregnate Rose and Jade and use them to give birth to demon spawn. The fan fic is very much In Name Only, in both Homestuck and in its title, as it's more of a supernatural story than a high school one. It makes no sense and names of canon characters are used for other people. (Aradia is some sort of genie that helps out John, Eridan is John's transformation in order to duel with the demon Sollux, etc.) It also involves John having a vision after possesed by dark magic from a McDonalds burger as an important plot point. And John had liked Rose ever since she... bit his arm and broke his glasses in the second grade. Probably a Troll Fic, but still hilariously terrible. Now has its own page.
- Another Homestuck example would be We're just different, the story of a blatant Mary Sue named Titaia who is sent to a "special school" due to a suicide attempt, where she meets unbelievably OOC versions of the trolls—most notably, Sollux and Karkat, as opposed to being Jerks With Hearts Of Gold as they are in canon, are portrayed as merciless bullies. Titaia is tricked (by Tavros, of all people!) into I Ming Sollux and falls for him. The whole thing is so ridiculously OOC and Narmtastic that it becomes utterly hilarious (though it could be triggering to bullying victims nonetheless), and unlike Homestuck high, it seems completely sincere.
- Aerial Choreography is not only the first Steven Universe fanfic to hit fanfiction.net, but also the first Steven Universe Crack Fic. (The show hadn't premiered yet at the time the fanfic was published.) The plot revolves around Steven and Amethyst confessing their feelings for one another before joining the Mile-High Club and starting a forest fire below them. It also leads to Amethyst becoming pregnant. Oh, boy, we're in for a treat.
- Attack of the Giant Suki. The title alone probably secures it a spot on this page. Suki gets huge, Ba Sing Se freaks out, and the villain is the Cabbage Merchant. And adding to the WTF-ness, for whatever indeterminable reason, it briefly switches to script format about halfway through each chapter. All intentional.
- Bart The General. It's hilarious... for all the wrong reasons.
- ED of the World by Steve. The Eds and the kids go to the carnival, which turns out to suck eggs. When they watch trained chihuahuas perform, one of them bites Jimmy, while another destroys Plank. And when the fireworks set off, the kids start bleeding from airborne glass shards. The carnival turns out to be a trap by Jimmy von Diablo, and the kids run away before von Diablo blows up the place. The End.
- The Gravity Falls fanfic series 'Gettysbur6 Island' is an impressive abomination of Stylistic Suck, filled to the brim with horrible grammar, misspelled words and names (including Satan instead of Stan), and ridiculous plots that would make a nice one-shot crackfic seem like Tolstoy. There is an entire chapter about borscht. Advance at your own risk.
- im nut ok i Promiss. What starts out as an obvious My Immortal meets My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic trollfic, goes to extremely odd levels in later chapters.
- Korra in the Hood. Possibly the first Legend of Korra Crack Fic to ever grace fanfiction.net, written nearly a month before the show premiered. It has everything a crackfic could ever need: Korra and Naga being raped in the first chapter, a threesome between Korra, Bolin and Mako, Tenzin as an insane fart fetishist, a mecha fight between Zutarians and Equalists and Amon revealing who he really is. The author even calls one of the chapters the obligatory beach episode.
- Lisa is Pregnant. Bart freezes to death while using the "last resort" to keep him and Lisa warm while they're both trapped on an icy mountain. The title indicates what this leads to. Also, the, er, writing style itself is... pretty interesting.
- My Innocence. The title alone has convinced people that it's a My Immortal-inspired Troll Fic, but it's hard to tell for sure because there aren't enough similarities between the fanfics. Still worth a read, if only to see the narrator insult lesbians and then apologize for his "pre-juice." Watch out for racism, sexual themes, and mind-searing idiocy.
- My Little Pony: The Final Adventure. Cheap MS Paint-quality drawings, backgrounds clearly taken off of the internet, unenthusiastic voice acting, yet so much Narm and Big Lipped Alligator Moments that there's no reason not to like it.
- The Secreat Lives of the Ooo and Aaa teens [sic] is an Adventure Time fanfic that has every character falling in love with a genderbent in the most ridiculous and OOC way possible, then getting pregnant, all while every other word is misspelled. The whole premise of the fic is what deserves it be here.
- The fanfic has been taken down, but a repost correcting the title is available here. Roughly, the first chapter is: Marshall Lee, after meeting Finn and Fionna together (and teasing them), goes to Prince Gumball's castle, who has Princess Bubblegum as an invited guest. Marshall and Bubblegum hang out and, after Marshall seduces her with a 'Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs' song (really, and it's written in a very inexperienced manner), they go to Marshall's house to have sex. Yes, they have sex. And they have just met.
- SECRET LOVERS is a The Secret Show fanfic written by Agent Matt that focuses on three pairings, mainly the One True Pairing Victor and Anita, engaging in kissing and (presumably) intercourse. And this is accomplished while every other word is misspelled.
- The Simpsons Movie Remake by "grapestr33t4life" teeters precisely on the line between this and So Bad Its Horrible. OOC, excessive profanity (almost four hundred uses of fuck in dialogue alone), horrible spelling and grammar, nonsensical plot points abound, extremely blatant Author Appeal that eventually kills what little resemblance to the movie it had, an author who claims to be a crip and lets it show, who Can't Take Criticism... and that's not even getting to the songs. Also, Homer falls in love with Kumatora (a young teenager)
- SnatchEd a Jewel by TV John. An Ed Eddn Eddy fanfic (featuring the Red Guy), has references to The Emperor's New Groove and The Fairly OddParents, and even has Jackie Chan as a guest star (they even call him a guest star in the fic). The only thing bad about it is the writing, but there is this hilarious exchange:
Eddy: hey my parents aren't here I kick @$$
Edd: hey you stole the jewel
Eddy: hey the officers asleep I kick @$$
Edd: STOP SAYING THAT!!!!
Ed: hey where did you get the jewel
Edd: he stole it
Eddy: yep when the officers asleep I kick @$$
Edd: you said that already
Eddy: oh yeah
- Here is a summary of the fic: Eddy finds a huge jewel and steals it, somehow leading to Ed and Edd to take the blame. While the two are arrested, Eddy tries to play dodgeball with Jimmy but accidently kills him. Then Eddy goes back to his house to find it being destroyed by the jewel, getting it replaced by "house held nunchucks". After going to bed and Jackie Chan asking to read him a story, Eddy wakes up to find Sarah. She gets mad at Eddy for killing Jimmy and beats Eddy up untill he confesses that he stole the jewel and then bails Ed and Edd out, but not before the Red Guy puts a spell on Eddy giving him a boil twice the size of the jewel. (The jewel destroyed his house). Yeah.
- The Spiderses. The concept and story are stupid, but the prose is deliberately and hilariously terrible
- Urban Eds by Yunaman. The plot involves the Eds as teenagers going to a night club, where Nazz works as a prostitute. It has Costume Porn, Johnny as a bouncer on steroids raping Eddy, Eddy drinking a drug cocktail called "The Blue Cauchemar" with predictable results and ends with Nazz castrating Double Dee for no reason. Still the combination of weird subject matter, uncomfortably straightforward plot, the choice of words and occasional spelling and grammar mistakes definitely makes this fic quallify as So Bad It's Good.
- William Country. An otherwise decent Total Drama Island fan video that has several bizarre sequences with no relation to the plot, such as Cody smoking or two beavers eating everybody before humping with a rap-ish song playing in the background. Also of note, the main plot is about a romance between Cody and an OC who looks almost exactly like him, giving wierd Self Cest vibes. The "sleep" sequences don't help much either. Did we also mention that it's an actual, full-length movie at around 90 minutes? The unfortunate thing about this film is that it is very difficult to find, due to it usually only being uploaded in anacronic parts, and the videos being taken down several times.
- Here is a (NSFW) Thomas the Tank Engine Lemon Fic. You read that right. TRAINS (specifically Thomas and Rosey) HAVING SEX. How is this acomplished? Aparently steam valves are exactly the same as genitalia. Making it even worse, is the fact that the author treated it 100% seriously, and used gushy romantic language to describe something that's anything but.
- This little bit of My Little Pony, ahem, eroticism. It's hard to figure out whether or not it's a Stealth Parody, although the random Rocky Horror reference does raise eyebrows...
- An King of the Hill fanfic, Named "The King of the Hill Episode 1: Peggy's Revenge" or just Peggy's Revenge due there only "One episode", Most of Fanfic is about Peggy plannig her revenge over Hank's weak sex, ending is even weirder as people who watch Peggy's video at Youtube (Am not kidding is said on the fanfic) or Peggy's Spanish class thinking that "Porngraphic" video was funny for some reason.