Regrettably, the story has been removed from FanFiction.Net for whatever reason (most likely quality issues finally getting through to the right/wrong person). It can still be found elsewhere, though. It doesn't exactly need much storage to host.
Prepare to be baffled — this guy is ridiculous. Every character is always referred to by their full name and only their full name. Gordon Freeman never calls his own brother "John" or vice-versa. John is an office worker who wears a lab coat. He has two motorcycles; one is explicitly "more faster" (why didn't he take it in the first place?), and the other he keeps on the roof. He does unnecessary and improbable backflips off the equally unnecessary and improbable ramp on the roof of his building. And he looks on the Internet for "the next boss's weakness", as if he was playing the game himself. He has a laser gun and a "rocket gun". None of this is ever explained.
With the main character looking on the Internet and the bittersweet conclusion that came as a result of the John Freeman's hubris, one could take the second installment as satire.
Then there's Hero Beggining, a new chapter released on 16 February 2009, set some time after Full Life Consequences (which has yet to conclude) that extends Gordon Freeman's family further and seems to establish that Combines are Metro-cops that come from "science and outter space". Good lord.
One troper took his two Halo: Halos in Space fics and remade them as one fic. See here.
Every one of his works use family members of video game characters instead of the actual characters. There's John Freeman, Gorden Freeman's brother; Jake Snake, Solid Snake's son; Rain Strife, cloud strife's brother; and finally, Joe Chief, an army guy, but he wasn't a robot liek master cheif, so he didn't fly. note "Master Chief" isn't a true name — it's a military rank.
Also, it appears that the author doesn't know much about the Harry Potter universe besides the bare basics. Here are just some of the things that are different in the story compared to the actual Harry Potter universe.
In the Harry Potter universe, wizards are strictly forbidden from using dangerous spells in the purpose of harming others and breaking this rule is considered a very serious crime. In the fic however, Harry Potter can just casually use his magic to summon demons that drag people to hell.
Everything by mynameisanonymous. She writes absolutely awful Pokémon fanfiction and believes it to be not only well-written, but romantic. She has decent grammar and spelling, but the content is hilariously terrible. It is notable that not one of them is a Troll Fic.
Anything by Ranay. Her ridiculously dramatic writing, awful spelling... It's enough to reduce anyone to tears of laughter. She de-activated her deviantART Account, but her works can still be found by doing a Google Search or deviantART Search of her. Alternatively, this has archived a few of her works.
Anything by Tails Luv-er. A seperate account for someone named Camobamo1, EVERY FIC on his profile is Sonic the Hedgehogyaoi. Ships range from common ones like Sonadow (Sonic X Shadow), to ridiculous ones like Silvails (Silver X Tails). Even worse, one of his fics called To Love Yourself had Modern Sonic and Classic Sonic loving each other and having sex later is so ridiculous, that you can't help but like it.
The oeuvre of "Doctor Thinker" and his good-natured struggles with the English language ("Out pooped Sailor Mercury") deserve mention. Still, be fair to the guy. He does admit that he's not a great speller, and he's happy to have his work MSTed. He's a good sport — a TERRIBLE writer, but a good sport. He's even a member here (Dr Thinker),and unlike some of the other authors of bad fanfiction, seems like a genuinely nice guy.
Dr. Thinker might be even more incoherent in audiobook form.
niceperson, whose works include a Zelda story in which Link faces Cybermen; Merlin: Revenge of Oother, where Uther Pendragon is presented as a hero fighting against an evil world of "magick" using The Bible as justification; and a Skins fic with exaggerated Northern accents, an aesop against "drugging," and a fight with a werewolf. Most of his morerecentstuff involves the ridiculously named Spadang Skaran, a Villain Sue of epic proportions, who pops up in almost every universe for no apparent reason, and is the definition of Card-Carrying Villain:
"BRING ME MY FOOD" he sohuted to a man next to him and the man did. A tray came in with dead baibes on it.
He ate it but spat it out. "THAT WAS NOT TASTY! YOU7 WILL PAY YOU FUICKER!"
Anything by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan, who specializes in Metroid fanfic. Her (?) magnum opus, Metroid High School received memetic status after a dramatic reading by Nethertribes and some friends during a bunch of Let's Plays.
Anything by Hans Von Hozel, who is currently on a mission to defile every single major fandom with ridiculous but elegant bite-size interpretations. Especially notable are his Pokémon, Twilight, and Titanic renditions.
Much of the fanfiction oeuvre of David Gonterman is just random to the point of almost seeming like a stream of consciousness. Here's a man who comes up with ideas like changing Pocahontas into a dominatrix, threatening Disney with Unwilling Roboticisation as part of a copyright disclaimer, and MSTing the manifesto of an anti-furry group with Stephanie McMahon as one of the co-hosts. It's all atrociously written, but there's a certain charm to just how completely odd it gets at times.
Some of the works by Lord Ryu TJ. Typical fan fiction plots (with a lot of copy-paste from series — as in, even if all the Total Drama Island challenges were used, the same challenge may be used later. Even in the samefic) such as episode re-writes and TDI crossovers turned completely WTF-ish*
]]. This chapter in particular basically sums up nearly everything (as it begins with a suggestive Heather/Duncan moment, then throws in Heather/Courtney*
Several Crack Pairings. There has been Peter / Bridgetterape in one chapter of the long, deadTotal Cartoon series (and with Courtney. and with Heather too. He's almost as bad as Duncan), along with some serious amount of Phineas/Candace incest throughout his works.
And now there is a sequel. Of all the things to write one for...
Duncan (and to a lesser extent, Peter Griffin) is made into a blatant Karma HoudiniMarty Stu. Various fics (mostly Total Cartoon series) practically give him a harem of Courtney, Heather, Bridgette, Izzy, and Lindsay (surprisingly, not Gwen — yet). Up to four of them in the same fanfic (as of now), despite how Courtney is stated many times to be his actuall girlfriend, and he sexually assalts some of them (like Bridgette here) and nobody minds (not even Courtney)*
Except in the linked part. Duncan gets voted off, yet he returns later as an even biggerMarty Stu
. This gets worse in a more horrible work where Chris assigns him to rape three of the girls mentioned — Lindsay, Heather, and Bridgette — and would have been Courtney, but he makes out with her insted.
EVERYTHING by Kasper A. Vestergaard. Particularly this.
"Analyiah's Jakota/7Tru Luv Page" (sic). See it in all its not-brain-safe glory here. This website is an overly stealthy Stealth Parody of fangirls in general and bad fanfic writers in particular, whose unknown creator went all-out to make it as awful as possible. It's mostly Star Trek: Voyager based, of course, with an emphasis on pairing Chakotay ("Jakota") with Seven of 9 ("7," or in one memorable instance "8"). There are other stories inserting the eponymous Mary Sue (presumably Analyiah) into other works including "Perl Harbor" (insert computer joke here) and "American Pi" ((un)fortunately not a crossover of American Pie and π), as well as the revelation that she's a "jedeye". Spellingmistakes and ALLCAPS abound, and there are eye-watering illustrations drawn in MS Paint (some featuring the creator's purported Real Life boyfriend).
THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE, aka The Baconator (Link). If you can get past his profile, which consists of the lyrics to a Kid Rock song and "Sweet Home Alabama," a bunch of incoherent ramblings, several other song lyrics, a list of screenname changes, several links thrown in (including links to shock sites), and use of the obnoxious one-letter-per-line format, you can then browse his "fics," which make no sense and have every other word misspelled. They consist mostly of-
Death fics simply titled (character name) Dies A Horrible/Violent/Painful Death, which are the EXACT same story written line for line, only with different character names and small details pasted in. In these stories, various characters are brutallydismembered by a serial killer named Evil Andy Inspector. In the introductions, he claims that he "loves" these characters and has dolls of them that he sleeps with every night. The words he uses to describe their "accents" are also quite interesting. (What exactly does a "gay accent" sound like? What's a "dr accent"? How about a "Big-Head accent"? A "retard accent"?)
The 6ft dick writes parody fanfictions for children's shows like Arthur, Doug and The Magic School Bus that utilize generous amounts of Black Comedy and Rule 34. For many, there's just something about his fics' blatantly over-the-top satire and surprisingly competent grammar that mark them as the kind of thing that you know you shouldn't laugh at, but laugh at anyway.
ShakespeareHemmingway, the greatest author of our generation. He claims that his screename is to honor his two favorite authors so that he can write like them. And he writes Garfield crossovers. In which Garfield is the manliest action hero of all time who travels the world fighting evil with his friend and comrade, Jon Arbuckle (AMAKOOOOOO). All of the fics are permeated by this incredibly bizarre atmosphere in which civil rights and equality for men are causes worth dying for, but women are treated like dirt and exist only for Garfield to have sex with, as well as grammar and sentence structure so bizarre, you'd think Borat wrote it. There are two fics that involve Garfield rescuing Natalie Portman from some kind of peril and then making love. More recently, ShakespeareHemmingway also wrote a story about Garfield rescuing Kate Middleton from Prince William! It is quite possibly his greatest masterpiece yet.
Anything by Elizabeth8289. She has over 41 stories about Lazy Town, Sponge Bob Squarepants, Arthur and Baby Sitters Club. Be warned, though. A lot of her fanfics do no research on such places such as Iowa, New York or illnesses. She also tends to add the same moaning dreams, characters crying and same plot devices in her stories (she's especially fond of characters coming down with the stomach flu, for one). Most explode into a ton of chapters where the character or characters are at the plot at the end, and include classic lines such as "I pushed four times until the baby came out" (From her "Dawn's Dream World" story).
Meet dyllyny bryccyli He/She/It? is "an African American move to Freedom United States. Love tell story and play video game."
Worth Dice. He can be found on deviantART as well with his fanfictions. His fanfics range from poorly mangled grammar and Marty Stues. His Hamtaro fanfictions are located here. These are about his Squall Leonheart rip off of a hamster character. Be sure to read at your own risk, though. These fanfics get a lot of praise.
Jedi Qui-Gon is an author who exclusively operates in mega-crossovers. Almost all of them share the exact same traits: bizarre plots with plot developments that make absolutely no sense, tons and tons of In Name Only, a boatload of original characters who more often than not end up being useless and unnecessary to the plot of whichever story they're in, gobs and gobs of extremelyhammy dialogue, and the fact that most of them have monsters called "Imperium", which the author has yet to tell what they are. Perhaps his most awesomely bad fanfic is Protecting the Jedi, a retelling of basically the entire original trilogy of Star Wars that also manages to cross over Mass Effect, Naruto, and Halo.
The entire library of the strange, short-lived author known as Sumi tani. In addition to having grammar and spelling so unbelievably horrible that even Hans von Hozel would be jealous, her (?) stories generally just...do not make sense. Highlights include a Back to the Future fanfic in which "future" is misspelt as "futute" (a feminine Romanian word meaning "to have fucked"), a whole DeLorean fits in someone's locker, and Biff goes back in time to 1955 to become Prime Minister of America, as well as a Batman fic in which the Joker's ultimate weakness turns out to be diabetes.
The enigma known as Andrew Troy Keller, who specializes in writing the most Narm-filled "erotic" fanfictions ever put to a page. Or, as he himself puts it, "pure, untamed erotica"...which could not be a less fitting appellation. His stories are filled with a combination of robotic, often copy-pasted dialogue, improbable situations, OOC behaviour, long-winded narration full of run-on sentences which sounds, at times, like the demented ramblings of a Talkative Loon, and most infamously, very, very awkward sex talk. The most shining example? "Oooorrrrgggghhhh!" — as said by the Progressive advert lady, in an erotic fanfic written by him — truly, nothing is sacred to this guy.
Many Lovers52 (also known as "T3h CrAiZyZ x5" by the author) is a group of five different females that actually hold personalities similar to one another. Her first fic has been considered the best done by the group, but beyond that, they're all pretty much short and almost into the point of insanity. Here's a dramatic reading of one of the author's stories.
42 Noodles writes incredibly silly Troll Fics with awful grammar and ridiculous plot twists. She also seems to be fond of celebrity cameos and redundant sentences.
Cori Falls, particularly her Pokémon series in its later stages. The characters have gone from merely OOC to blatant author mouthpieces, the plots are filled with cheap wangst and melodrama and contrivances and the attitude behind them is irritatingly smug "I know the characters better than the powers that be". But they're the most delightful train wreck sprinkled with a few genuinely amusing moments.
For those who know Spanish, there are always the unforgettable pearls of Perla Shumajer (by the way, that's her true made up name created by her imagination). Here you can find one of her stories. An article of her in the satirical wiki Frikipedia is also available here. Everything is in Spanish, of course.
She's probably one of the most well-known bad writers in that language.
Goku/Anne Frank: Until the End of Time. A Crossover of Dragon Ball Z and The Diary of Anne Frank. Anne and Goku hook up. It all ends with a Super Saiyan battle between Goku and Hitler. It is so stupid, it becomes the definition of awesome. There is an old Something Awful thread where the author, who is a goon, confirmed that it was a Troll Fic.
Hitler's line when he goes Super Saiyan is even more hilarious when you realize that he's quoting one of Bison's lines from the also So Bad, It's GoodStreet Fighter movie.
Avatars II When Qwaritch Takes Revenge by hunterjeanmidna. Acting as a "sequel" to James Cameron's Avatar, the one-shot story involves Colonal Miles Quaritch Kernal Miles Qwaritch (or Qwarutch, or Qwarich, or whatever the author decides to call him) returning to Pandora after "the dude on the other end" calls him and yells that "THE Na'vi NAVIS ARE KILLIN EVERYBODY!". The majority of the story involves him fighting Navis (or Nazis, due to spelling errors) and joining up with MasterChief Cheef (or Master Chef) and SamusAran Arin and killing just about everything that moves. Particularly funny parts are the beginning, and the references to Samus as a male (guess the author never got the message). Complete and utter dreck, but it's damned funny dreck. It can be read here, if you dare.
Hunterjeanmidna has already cranked out his next story, in which he intends to speak out "against rape an show that its NOT cool, and its NOT erotic in the least for people to write "sexy fics" about." Too bad he picked Alvin And The Chipmunks as the story to deliver such a message. Brace yourselves for Alvan An The Chipmunks 3 The Second Squeakuel, found here.
The Huemn Ceniped 2 The Humen Milipede is a horrific fanfic of the even more horrific movie, The Human Centipede, which tells the tale of Dr.Heiter Doktor Scientis building a "humen milipeed" and then the Men In Black arrive "2 take the evidance" and they all become "powar rangers"... just... just read it here.
WORLD WAR II. It's full of bad formatting, weird incomprehensible phrases and hilariously bad writing. And it's got Theodore Roosevelt fighting Hitler and the Japanese in World War II that for some strange reason took place in the 1700's... It's just got to be experienced to be believed. Maybe you should watch for this fanfic author as well. Possibly a Troll Fic? Dramatic Readinghere.
The Soul of a Wizard. Initially, it's a series of Harry Potter one-offs, but it spirals rapidly into fandom after fandom, ranging from Death Note to Channel Awesome before citing other fanfics. Rare is the Troll Fic whose author has Shown Their Work, and rarer still is one that shows this grand a degree of research. MrTrollXDD knows all of the ins, outs, methods, and targets (not tomentionseveral examples) of hack authors and trolls very well, and is not afraid to play with them in countless methods, such as exaggerating Rouge Angles of Satin to the point where one chapter spirals well beyond comprehension, or inverting Linkara's character, down to the specific authors and arcs he hates. The rather humorous image of Ron Weasley's verbally articulate ding-a-ling being used as a power drill will be stuck in your head forever.
As one reviewer put it:
This fanfic's kinda like Passenger of Shit or Anal Cunt: It's blatantly, horribly unprofessional, but it's such professional unprofessionality that I can't help but be entertained by it.
Don't forget about Crimson Blood! In this bizarre fanfic, Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins (who is inexplicably a Hogwarts student) start taking drugs, but then Draco and Sam (who are their boyfriends in this fic) find out and dump them. Afterwards, they try to quit taking drugs, but after one day of being sober they commit suicide.
The Return of Dark Kyeoto is a batshit insane, one chapter fanfic featuring Namine from Kingdom Hearts as an angel who could do kamehamehas and Wrath from Fullmetal Alchemist who fight against some guy named Dark Kyeoto with the help of their companions who I guess are OCs. Spelling errors galore in this story.
DAVE STDIDER POKEMON TRANER is a Homestuck and Pokémon crossover where more words are spelled wrong than right and Dave gets a "Groundoon" as a starter. The author either does not understand Homestuck, does not understand Pokémon, or both.
Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami. Light's evil(er) twin brother Dark comes to visit Light's family (in America), and brings with him the king of the Shinigami and his Death Note, which lets you kill someone without knowing their face... or name. Sayu meanwhile turns out to be a lesbian and seduces Misa to steal her Death Note, while Yotsuba&! makes an accidental crossover. Oh, and Light uses the horrifying phrase "better make it a foursome" in reference to his brother and sister IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS in the most scarring Oh Cisco moment ever.
It contains the exchange, "WHAT? BUT I KILLED YOU!" "Then you did not kill me hard enough". This alone is pretty much worth the price of admission.
Hailing from Gundam 00, the fandom got a horribly-written fanfic entitled Gundam 00M: Marina's Figth posted on 4chan's /m/ board. It's full of typos, Gratuitous Japanese (also misspelled at times) and creative licensing with the titular character, much to the excitement of those who normally hated her. Also featured were some crossover characters from other Gundam series and historical figures such as Eisenhower. As a result, many readers of the supposed troll's piece found themselves laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, the threads were never archived, but this seems to contain all chapters which actually existed.
Pokémon: Attack of Mewtwo, in which MewtwoMewthree blows up Oak's lab for no reason and the Mary Sue protagonist's Pokémon are altered using "genetics" to fight his clone army. The spelling and grammar are what really make the fic. Possibly a Troll Fic. Definitely bad.
Teh Wirst Fanfic Evar!!1 is the creation of some people who can actually write, done as a jape to mock horrible fanfiction. Succeeds hilariously. Two Words: toe rape.
Tokyo Crystal Mew is your standard Tokyo Mew MewSpin Offspring fanfic, or it would be if it weren't turned into its own animated series using MS Paint and Windows Movie Maker. After the initial shock wears off, it kind of becomes hard to outright hate it. (Especially the later episodes, which show an improvement in the artwork and pacing.) Even 4chan has the occasional Fan Art thread dedicated to it.
Dragonball N is a piece of flash animation so terrible it's utterly brilliant. 'I can't help but save the day!'
Voltes V vs Voltron: the Godaikin Wars The only English language Voltes V fanfic on the Net is an eighty-four chapter of what appears to be an angry Voltes V fanboy's treatise on his irrational hatred for Voltron. With the superficial premise of a villain named Paul the Imjad stealing the Galaxy Alliance's "Encyclopedia Universale" microfilm and framing the Voltes team for it; both villain and microfilm were completely forgotten in favor of Voltron having sound effect-laden battles with Voltes V, as well as Combattler V, Daimos, Science Ninja Team Gatchaman and even Space Sheriff Shaider, and gets its ass handed to it every time. The Voltron Team's canon heroic personalities were all thrown out of the window and replaced with straw Jerkass and Straw Loser attributes in an attempt of the author to discredit them, but it's all to anviliciously drive the point that Voltron is absolute crap and is not deserving of all the attention. Add the Rouge Angles of Satin, blatant plagiarism note Apparently, the author thought that making Keith recite the lines of Voltes V's villain Prince Heinel is a good idea., outright Flanderizationnote The most egregious example would be Prof. Sakunji's Sadist TeacherJerkass tendencies cranked Up to Eleven., one Poison Oak Epileptic Tree after another, and the rather amusingposturing of the author in response to the angry Voltron fans (just read his "answer" to said Voltron fan here); and we get an epic Fan Wank of the highest order.
One night of the drop of rain is an Axis Powers Hetalia fanfic in the same way Lisa Is Pregnant is a Simpsons fanfic. It reads like a "Blind Idiot" Translation, with bits of other languages that didn't quite translate peppered throughout, but from the looks of it, it wouldn't have made much sense in its original language anyway. The story begins with America and England having sex (orsomething) when Canada bursts in and professes his love for America. Then Kumajirou shows up and professeshislove for Canada, except he turns into Alaska and... you know what, there's no coherent plot to be found. Nothing we could say could possibly do it justice. Read it for yourself, if you want to make sense of it—not that that provides much of a clearer picture.
Amazing how much WTF-ery can be put into so few words. It seems that Canada is raping England at one point...or something. And then it got to where Kumajrou/Alaska raped and killed Canada when he rejected its love...or didsomething. It turns out that the reader is America (who's apparently a she) and the narrator is England...apparently. And then America and England embrace each other again as if nothing happened. It's evenmoresurreal than it sounds.
And then there's a line in the fic that confirms that this fanfic was indeed a "Blind Idiot" Translation: "_TRANSLATION ERROR_ said the England in the surprised."
The Battle is apparently a short Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic that goes nowhere. It starts with the author inserting somebody named "Trey" who apparently knows karate and beats a bully up. Then they appear out of nowhere inside Yugi's head, then they appear at Yugi's game shop. Infamously, the author even pairs himself up with one of the female characters, Téa.
Meduka meguca is a series of 4chan forum posts intentionally badly reciting the events of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Full of spelling errors and horrendous Off Model pictures, it is nevertheless true to the plot and so extremely awesome it achieved Memetic Mutation status.
It is almost impossible to accurately describe Love's Grande Quest without breaking out in laughter. It is a Haruhi Suzumiya fic... but Haruhi doesn't appear at all. Her role is given to an obvious Purity Sue. The prose is so ridiculously over-the-top that at least one reviewer called it Crazy Awesome. Mikuru is a "dragon maiden" and the villains are so cartoonish and Obviously Evil that one has to wonder how the main character ever thought they were trustworthy in the first place.
Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic Fuery Plus Havoc Equals Love seems to go out of its way to be as awkward as possible without being a poorly written Lemon. The entirety of it consists of Havoc backing Fuery into a closet, while Fuery is randomly worrying about whether Havoc knows about his undying love for him. Havoc tells Fuery he loves him, and panics because he thinks he ruined their friendship. Fuery confesses that he loves Havoc too, they make out, and their clothes fall off. Mustang and Edward then walk past where the two were having their...event, and they act like they saw something only slightly abnormal and shrug it off almost immediately after fleeing the scene. The whole thing is hilarious, but Havoc has a line shortly after Mustang and Edward find him and Fuery that is pure gold, and I don't want to spoil it. This is so awful, that I couldn't help but enjoy it, despite shying away from fanfics of this nature.
The Darker Knight is a self-admitted BatmanTroll Fic. After being falsely accused of murder, Batman teams up with his cousin (aptly named "Batcousin") to hunt down Two-Face. Hilarity Ensues...as well as a bajillion celebrity cameos.
ShakespeareHemmingway's Garfield fanfics must be read to be believed. Incoherent English, incoherent and sometimes ripped-off plots, and almost all of them somehow end with, what we can presume to be sex. Yet at the same time they are Pure Awesomeness and apparently take place in an Alternate Universe where Garfield isn't just a Cool Cat, Garfield is an immortalMANLYbadassof incalculable proportions, and hilariously so, especially once you realize that the author is taking this perceived awesomeness seriously.
Root Her!, an utterly insane Jurassic Park fanfic that revolves around an extra named "Joffrey" (apparently named after the actor who played him) getting raped to death and eaten by a female velociraptor while Muldoon watches and masturbates. It would normally be horrifying were it not for the fact that the author was obviously having a blast trying to think of the most ludicrous Purple Prose and unusual euphemisms imaginable to refer to what's going on; the act of Muldoon jerking off is referred to as him "energetically pumping his purple shotgun", the raptor is described as a "carrion-scented Aphrodite", Joffrey gets sprayed with "putrid velociraptor love Tabasco", the word "velocigina" is used at one point...it just goes on and on in a carousel of WTF-ery. Read the Topless Robot MSTing of it here.
The worst thing about this? The author actually seems to be a competent writer.
Literature
The infamous My Immortal, a plotless Harry Potter fic that stars Ebony Dark'ness Dementia RavenTara Raven Way, a "goff" [end sarcasm quotes]Mary Sue pastiche (mostly Jerk Sue) with "icy blue eyes like limpid tears" who's So Beautiful, It's a Curse. The author managed to turn everyone into either a goth "goffik" or a prep (like Dumbledore, who has a robe with Avril Lavigne on it) and the spelling gets worse and worse through the fanfic. Whether she's a troll or if the author was serious when she wrote it is under debate, but if it's a joke, that means she's one of the most meticulous trolls in history. It's the only fanfic that's been turned into a movie and a published novel. It's also been translated into a dozen languages.
My Immortal isn't so bad it's good, it's so horrible it's awesome.
The part about being translated into a dozen languages is especially impressive, since it was barely even written in English. Try listening to a dramatic reading of it without reading along.
Not nearly as bad, but still a sterling example of how crappy fanfiction can get, is the Harry Potter tale called A Sad Story. It's a oneshot wherein Harry is regularly beaten by Uncle Vernon, falls in love with a girl with her own abusive guardian, and is killed. The author doesn't give a damn about continuity, characterization, or common sense. ('...he grabbed Harry by the neck and dragged him to the garden Shed. He padlocked the door with at least 20 locks.')
The Redwall fanfic Shadow Rapes Matthias. Well, at least you can't say it doesn't deliver what it promises. Crash course: Matthias is the mouse hero, and Shadow is the ninja-thief-rat sent by the villain to infiltrate Redwall Abbey. In canon, they were onstage together for about three seconds, which consisted of a fight/chase scene as Shadow attempted to get the MacGuffin back to his boss. MST'd here. Be warned that Matthias is, for no apparent reason but the obvious, noted to be 13, at least according to Word Of God and the TV series. The author's note which says so could be a clumsily phrased attempt at saying he's meant to be older in the fic, but just in case. The same author did two more fics, featuring Martin the Warrior and numerous other male characters performing physicallyimplausible actions, which are also MSTed on the linked blog. Watch out for the completely random SpellsingerShout Out.
The MST is nothing short of brilliant, for all three of this horrible author's works. Bonus points for bringing in Romsca for the last MST, which turns out exactly as twistedly awesome as one could hope.
He slashed him in the stomach then he hit him on the floor now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity
The Girl Who Lived series, a half-rewrite (the other half is just ported directly from the actual books themselves with minor tweaks) of the Harry Potter books with a Gender Flip and a whole lot of other changes. Pretty much the biggest and most direct Canon Defilement possible, it starts out by arrogantly decrying J.K. Rowling for screwing up the series and goes about "fixing" it by removing every single one of Harry's flaws while also (intentionally or unintentionally) completely changing his personality to a Sociopathic "Hero". Instead of a ruthlessly oppressed kid living under the stairs that eventually becomes a mediocre wizard with heart, "Rose" is now the poster child of New Powers as the Plot Demands (with plenty of "hey, look at me, I'm cool!" stuff to go with it) while getting away with pretty much everything. Watch as the series completely paves over everything "bad" about the canon and introduces Plot Holes by the truckload! Marvel as Rose torments her "friends" in ways that make Voldemort seem tolerable! Endure as the series goes to extreme lengths for Author Appeal while denying it every step of the way! One would suspect a troll like My Immortal, but if so, it's certainly an obsessive one.
A similar Twilight Badfic by the name of Forbidden Fruit: The Temptation of Edward Cullen. Atlantiana Rebekah "Tiaa" Loren, a moodyyoung lady who speaks in internet acronyms, enrolls at Forks High, where she promptly grabs everyone's attention, including that of the hawt pale guy Edward Cullen, who is now speaking a baffling combination of Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe and ALL CAPS, , a 'fat and bald' uncle who subjects her to two paragraphs of IKEA Erotica rape, and a 'tall white man' who announces himself to be her father. Combine this with the protagonist's status as a gothic vampire and the fact that the story positivley thrives on Rouge Angles of Satin, and claims that this may be My Immortal's greatest rival thus far don't seem too far off. Also, there's a talking panda bear. A talking, gay panda bear.
Behold Nick The Swing's terrible, but hilarious, fan fiction of Harry Potter: Stand My Ground, the My Immortal Parody designed to exceed My Immortal!
"COME ON BABY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sirius shouted. "IF I GO ANY FASTER WE WILL BE AT HYPER SPEEEEEED!" Lupin shouted trying not to moan while he shouted.
"Harry potter stop your going to make me drop this." missy said giggling
"Hey you did promise me that we could have some adult fun time when I got home from work." Harry said
"Ok we will have some adult fun time now." missy said
The Harry Potter fanfic Imma Wiserd deserves some mention; the story is beyond absurd. Everyone is a gangster or a white "rassist" in Hogwarts, including Harry Potter who as it turns out is black but a white actor was chosen instead for the audience. Perhaps its defining sequence is a game of Qudditch where not only are all the houses in play, but the Ravenclaw team are all killed by Voldemort before the match begins, leaving the lead characters Soulja and Harry to win the game...and then the Ku Kux Klan appear and start shooting at the protagonists.
The writer of this is hilariously convinced that Snape is a Jew because he knows big words (i.e. non-slang words) and thus has him use a giant dollar bill like a flying carpet. Later on, Hermione decides not to travel back in time, to when Biblical figures attended Hogwarts (!) with Pontius Pilate (Or "Pumpass Pilot") as headmaster (!!), based on the absence of pretty dresses and sewing machines (!!!) in the past.
Did we mention that Hermione's Patronus is a vacuum cleaner?
Hogwarts of Heaven by Silver Suffering. Every single chapter of this...thing makes no sense. Here is an example with the first sentence. "Chestere Le Valiente played a rocking electric guitar solo on his shiny wooden saxaphone and wondered what life would be like if he was a female 16 year old Indonesian gymnast who was secretly working to bring down the government and force the world to wear pink tuxedos." Random cameos include Squall Leonhart, Penelope Pitstop, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chuck Norris, Shinji Ikari and Dorothy Zbornak. Also, the author seems to plan to write 100 chapters of this...
Winnie The Pooh Assimilated By The Borg. A Crack Fic of the highest order. The Borg invade the Hundred Acre Wood, murdering Rabbit before assimilating Pooh. The rest of the story consists of Pooh of Borg assimilating or murdering everyone, eventually ending with the entire cast part of the Collective or dead. Should be terrible, but the sheer over-the-top nature (Pooh of Borg kills Piglet over not sharing his honey) elevates it to this level.
The very words "Pooh of Borg" alone justify the existence of this work.
Hidden PropheciesProphices is likely a trollfic, but it's still hilarious as it can be. It's a Warrior Cats fanfic and you've really just got to see it to believe it.
Part of what makes it so hilarious is that, with its actually okay-ish grammar and spelling, it genuinely seems like a ten-year-old girl doing her damnedest.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, a.k.a. Thirty Hs. Particularly impressive in that it's so indescribably twisted that it has no flames in over a hundred reviews. Warning: starts out somewhat squicky, but gets much worse after about chapter three.
Dumbledore's immortal line, "Harry, you must rock the fuck out."
Celebrian has a whole meta-game around it based on trying to get people with weak stomachs to read it. Even then, the story has its fans simply for being full of Narm and for being so laughably over-the-top in its Squickiness that it Crosses the Line Twice. Someone even started a dramatic reading.
Legolas: Back to the Future, which is basically a Canadian teenage girl's diary with Legolas stuck in somehow. Notable for its aggressive wholesomeness and lack of nearly any standard "Fictional Character is 'Bamfed' Into The Real World" tropes. The fic's gone from fanfiction.net now, but you can find an MSTinghere.
Particular note must be made of the shamelessly blatant Mary Sueness of main character Crystal, who reveals her self as (in no particular order): an excellent cook, singer, musician, dancer, horseback rider, mechanic, a practitioner of La Savatenote a French, kick-based martial art capable of throwing standing kicks above Legolas' head, a church youth group leader, possessing of a Death Glare that could cow anyone (including Legolas) and she teaches a music classnote Granted, it's a tambourine class, but still at the local community center. And oh yeah, she's also telepathic and telekinetic.
"'MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!' yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!"
The Harry Potter fanfic "Becoming Female". It starts off as the usual Harry-is-turned-into-a-girl-by-a-potion-accident-and-gets-paired-with-Draco story, but then it gets worse better. All the male characters disliked by the author, particularly Ron, are "sexist" in a ridiculously over-the-top manner and even refer to themselves as "sexist". Female characters disliked by the author tolerate this and are thus considered "sluts". Might be a Troll Fic, but it's hard to tell as the author claims it's partially a comedy, which would explain the occasional random humor ("At that moment, Dumbledore rode into the hospital wing on a unicycle wearing an old-fashioned bathing suit."). You can see a Dramatic Reading of the first half of chapter one here.
The Troll Fic hypothesis seems likely, given that each chapter starts with an utterly insane description of what all the female character are wearing, as well as the near-constant "I also had underwear on".
There's a sporking here. There used to be a sequel titled "Being Female", but it seems to have been deleted. It included a memorable part where "Crystal" is sent back to live with the Dursleys, who turn out to be "Christian fundamentalists" and the portrayal is as ridiculous as you're imagining. The first chapter, at least, survives here.
Another Harry Potter fanfic with the delightful name of The Chronicles of Merlin: The Return, which features Harry as the reincarnation of Merlin. Pretty much everyone (save maybe Ron and Hermione) are Out of Character, and includes such gems as Draco inviting Harry to stay over the summer, but adding "My father still has a problem with mixed bloods and the poor, so Ron and Hermione can't come".
Phoenix's Life is a Harry Potter fanfic which has achieved legendary status on Pottersues for one Narmtastic line:
But Harry's body skimmed the surface of the lake and then, in a true blaze of glory, he transformed into a magnificent phoenix. And some say, as he soared into the sun set, that he yelled "IT'S MY LIFE" before he retreated into the clouds to never return.
Hermione's New Change is about Hermione finding out she's adopted and is actually Draco's cousin, and of course they enter an incestuous relationship. Only the first two chapters are here because it was deleted from the original site, but it still contains some gems.
Speaking of Hogwarts Exposed, in general it's just plain bad but some of the dialogue edges into So Bad, It's Good. "Most certainly it's wrong to expose your private area!"
Warrior Mouse Code is a Warrior Cats fanfic... about the clans' prey. Bad grammar, a Marty Stu who, even though being a mouse, befriends Firepaw, is teased for being a half-breed,as a habit of spouting curse words constantly and is made 'second deputy' because that's just how the mouse clans work. Seriously.
Harry Potter, Gay Demon, a fanfic about how Harry wakes up one day looking incredibly sexy. He then proceeds to have sex with anything from Sirius in dog form to all five Weasly brothers at once. He somehow winds up being Hogwarts' (and, namely, Draco's) Sex Slave. Notable for the massive cock sizes, absurd amounts of semen, emphasis on Harry's 'man-pussy' and its usage of Not If They Enjoyed It Rationalizations.
Goffik Blood, another My Immortal clone that would probably be unremarkable if not for how completely and utterly bizarre it is. As one would imagine, the spelling and grammar are atrocious, but it's also littered with author's notes in which the writer halts the plot to make strange proclamations like "LUV TRAUMAS R ZO HOT" or "vampyrs arnt homo sapeins", and to call the story itself a Random Events Plot would be a severe understatement. It has something to do with Mary Sue character Goffika Sorrows randomly falling in love with Voldemort (also known in-story as "Volxemort", "VOLDEMRTRT", and on one notable occasion, "VOLDNEBGREOUUBU"), and then killing him, Enoby herself making a cameo only to die as well, Voldemort inexplicably coming back to life to get "TREVENGE", only to fall in love with Goffika and rape her "sexily", a skirt that can destroy things, Hagrid getting sacrificed to "Stan", a talking horse that was actually Goffika's friend Blood who also raped her but then didn't...really, absolutely nothing in this fic follows logically from anything else. The entire thing is a huge, poorly-spelled Mind Screw.
Recently rediscovered by snarker Serkadios, Twilight fanfic The Kronicals Of Rebecca Swansin has been sitting on fanfiction.net for about two years, almost completely unnoticed. Since being found, though, it has gained love (and several headcanons and one Fan Fic , possibly with more coming soon) by the same people who brought you the Brewdening Love Expanded Universe .
The Warrior Cats of WolfClan series by Flamestripe of Wolfclan. A massive Marty Stu, ridiculous plot devices (like everything randomly going backwards, a cat with a cowboy hat, and talking wolves who bring cats back to life), a skewed sense of morality, how every single time a cat dies their tail twitches and they're okay, and the overblown nature of the story, create a masterpiece of bad writing.
Thomas Joshman (first book, second book, third book, fourth book, fifth book, sixth book) is a series of... well, he never says they're Harry Potter fan fics, but it's set in a world just like Harry Potter. Almost every character or concept has a clear equivalent (Tom = Harry, Tim = Ron, Quelfree = Snape, Bendrist = Dumbledore, Milkenshland = Hogwarts, Teams 1-10 = the Houses, etc.), and it isn't unusual for actual phrases to be lifted (albeit misspelled and out of context) from the Harry Potter books themselves. It also includes bizarre dialogue, including quite a lot of ridiculously specific times ("He saw Quelfree scold Frederick for being on the pitch 2 Ľ seconds late"). Strange equivalents are chosen for Harry Potter's plot points - for example, whereas Harry was suspicious about the wound on Snape's leg, Tom was suspicious about Quelfree's "scrunchy face" (which I can only assume means that his face has been replaced with a hair tie). The author sometimes seems to forget which things are different from Harry Potter - for example, Milkenshland looks like a "normal human-looking school" in the first book, but it's a castle in the others, and the plane they take to school is referred to as a "train" at least twice. Some characters are also incredibly stupid, managing to forget key plot points just so that the reader can find them out in advance. Tom is even amazed that Tim knows the names of their closest friends, apparently never managing to learn them himself. Here are a few more quotes:
a Team 10 boy with blonde hair walked up the corridor and said “Haha…its Joshy. His stupid famous 30 year old mother was a pile of sweaty socks. Births in 1981. She would’ve died if that idiot Joshy wasn’t born”.*
Yes, he said "Births in 1981." in the middle of his exposition-filled insult.
Quelfree looked like he just been battered by a bowling ball so Tom said to Tim “Has he been battered by a bowling ball” until Tim was confused and asked “What’s a bowling ball?” Tom said nevermind and Quelfree gave them both detentions for no reason.
“What’s a Crinker” asked Tom. “Evil dolphins that can survive on land, they feed on Human and Wizard prey for jokes and cannibalize their own species when they die for fun” explained Tim. Suddenly a green eyed dolphin grabbed Tom’s leg and it got bitten off. Tim helped Tom to the hospital quickly until Oswald met Tim again and tripped them over into the Crinkers. Tim lost an ear and a nose while Tom lost a hand and 3 eyelashes. Tom woke up in the hospital a week later with 50 bandages on him.
Live Action TV
The "CSI: Miami" fanfiction of Forensic Kitteh features a number of bizzare but good shit.
The Ben Chatham Adventures, a series famous among the Doctor Who fandom for the tititular Marty Stu, blatant rip-offs of 70's Who, utterly detestable characters, excessive Flanderisation of canon characters, blatant misogyny and classism and frankly bizarre recurring features (Fox's Glacier Mints are apparently equivalent to class B drugs). Whether you believe it is really a Stealth Parody or not, there is something innately attractive about its Narm Charm, bizarre plot twists, and hilarious lines of dialogues such as "I am eternally grateful that you saved me from a good rogering by Henry VII!"
The M*A*S*H fan-fic "THE GRAND RAPIDS O'REILLYS", in which every proper noun is in all capital letters. The first chapter is about RADAR marrying NURSE BIGALO while FATHER MULCAHY becomes a PENTECOSTAL minister after stealing barrels and barrels of holy water from THE VATICAN all because he has a dream in which GOD orders him to so. This is only the first chapter, there are over 25 chapters with titles such as "RADAR GOES FORMULA 1" "RADAR AND THE BLACK PANTHERS" "RADAR MEETS THE BEATLES" "RADAR MEETS THE GREEN HORNET" and "RADAR VS ROSEMARY'S BABY"
The Star Trek fanfic "purr hormones", in which Spock and McCoy have badly-written sex with each other while being wildly Out of Character. Oh, and this is after McCoy has sprouted cat ears and a tail. He purrs when aroused. See the Dramatic Readinghere. Immortal lines include, "The green blush grown on Spock's face. How could logic win against a hot purring Doctor?"
Sinefield, a nonsensical Seinfeld fan fic with a plot that makes no sense and a load of typoes. It's likley a Troll Fic, but it's also hilarious, especially in this dramatic reading.
FESH PINCE BACK HAVEING FUN is a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air script fanfic done by a self-insert who can't really spell for shit, a story that doesn't really make sense, and a bunch of other oddities. Dug Seachang calls Carlton "Carton", Uncle Phil "Uncle Pill", and worst/best of all, Geoffrey "Giraffe"! It's almost like satire towards the 90's live comedy TV shows.
Lust Penis (obviously NSFW), an infamous MS Paint comic. Fox McCloud gets transformed into a dinosaur sex slave by General Scales, who violates him anally and transforms him again into a gigantic, living penis, fusing him with an enormous statue, which then proceeds to anally violate another enormous statue. After creating a river of semen, Fox regains consciousness, reverts back to his former self, and agrees that even though the whole thing was just a plot by Scales to have sex with him, he'd still like to do it again sometime. For those who aren't easily offended, it's utterly hilarious in its total ineptitude and bizarre plot.
Ties That Bind: A Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Story is a terrible, poorly written fanfiction about a Marty Stu insert who gets turned into a Pokemon. This series has only one chapter, full of switching tenses, OOC characters, and it reeks of unoriginality.
One can usually expect online role-playing in general to be bad. In between crappy characters, God Modding, and a lack of fluency in actions, it's just expected. However, one author in the City of Heroes Virtue server community manages to showcase all worst excesses and biggest mistakes of the fandom. He goes by the name of Raienst, with some of the most potently awful writing ever, it warps the space time continuum and becomes utterly hilarious. His earlier characters such as Logan Storm and ShadowWings have to be seen to be believed. They're basically God Mode Sues without any regard whatsoever for continuity, plausibility, or regard for either the English language or Wiki markup. He has (unfortunately) gotten better over time (without losing the God Mode Sue leanings...), but you can feel your intelligence draining as you read on.
Most of his characters: "Nice guy, good with women, angry, no parents, uberly powerful."
Sephirothslave'sShinra High and its sequel, Shinra SOLDIER are probably the best known examples in Final Fantasy VII fandom. Proudly called "novels" by their authoress, they have a total of 170 chapters together, filled with nothing but inaccurate interpretations and wishfulfillment. Among many things, these fanfictions feature a goth Mary Sue and self insert of epic proportions, canon defilement, butchered character personalities, cliche love triangle, wangst, Beige Prose and clear research failure.
Left 2 Die 4ever. The plot is pretty faithful and original at the same time considering it's Left 4 Dead.
The Modern Warfare 2 fanfic "Beta Threat". The entire plot can be summarized as "Marty Stu protagonist kills a bunch of Card-Carrying Villain terrorists, goes to jail because he failed to save a single hostage, and is called back into action to kill more terrorists." The spelling is... unspeakable.
Quake Urgency, which almost kind of read like a rough draft of an aborted Quake comic-book in the style of the Doom comic.
"Oh no zombie dogs!" said Quake Marine and he shoot the exploding barrels and they were explode taking the zombie spiders (which exploded)
My Inner Life. Another one kicked off of the So Bad It's Horrible page for being hilariously bad instead of just plain bad. Nominally a fanfic of The Legend of Zelda, it's horribly written with the most blatant self-insertion Sue ever. In a situation similar to Sonichu, the writer is part of what makes it the phenomenon it is, and you must understand her to understand it. She goes out of her way to screech at anyone who might openly dislike the fic in her disclaimers for three pages if you cut-and-paste it into your word processor, and feels that Viewers Are Morons to the point of putting an incredible number of footnotes - almost as long as the "people who don't like my fic are evil" rants. Apparently, readers aren't bright enough to figure out what a "spring festival" is. Most of all, she's clearly dead serious about all the things that many suspect of being parody in My Immortal and the like. This is someone who has less ability to take criticism than Uwe Boll.
Also, she's got a strange relationship with the 'return' key. Often, it's hard to tell who's talking because dialogue that really should have been another paragraph will be placed right next to the actions of someone else. But by this point, that's the 'jaywalking' in Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.
The Legund of Lik. Link fights monsters from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and makes horrible puns. The writing is so atrocious that it's probably intentional. Do not read this in a library, because you will laugh. Hard.
The aftermath of Ashe's life, a Final Fantasy XII fanfic by Ashe10 that centers around Ashe having sex. A lot. As Ashe says, "All queens are not all innocent. I am just a nasty queen. What do you expected?" She also has a tendency to call her lovers sexy mutha fuckas. Although Ashe's husband, Rasler (Or Rassler, as the author calls him) is the real standout in the story, providing gems such as, "Who the fuck is you talking to in that tone!" and "WHAT!? YOU DONE AN AFFAIR!"
As well as this line: "OH MY GAWD!" THEY ALL EXCLAMD "NAHTANEL IS A HOMOSEXEXAUL!"
Breakdown, a Persona 3 fanfic, has the cast dying in improbable ways, and Mitsuru coping by becoming a prostitute, then running into traffic and dying. If technically passable, the whole thing is pretty ridiculous and handled very poorly.
If you weren't laughing throughout, the final line is a guaranteed LOL. Roxius in general, is great for incomprehensible fics, and the confused/angry/scared reviewers.
Imp Encounter, an infamous Doom fanfic that satirizes sex fanfiction by having the Doom Guy, under the influence of a berserk pack, brutally rape and kill a female imp (The Goomba of the first Doom, arguably even easier than the zombies for an experienced player to kill). The story and the sex scene have become Memetic Mutation in the Doom community, with a tribute site named impse.cx, an infamous animated GIF◊, and even a cutscene level.
Hell Hath Fury, a Doom fanfiction featuring a Gary Stu protagonist. It contains every Doom fanfiction cliche. It's also overly long and badly written.
Doom: The Unseen Version(NSFW). A badly written smutfic in which the people stationed in Mars get it on with the demons after all Hell breaks loose. You will never look at Doom the same way again... it makes Impse look tame.
The Evil Alliance, written by cloudacsephac, is a Final FantasyMega Crossover that features impenetrable, pseudo-Faulknerian stream of consciousness prose. Cloud and Squall inexplicably team up (along with a Cloud-chasing Relationship Sue named Blaze) to take down the eponymous alliance of Sephiroth and Ultimecia. The author's tangled, incoherent prose, bizarre plotting and interminable fight scenes make this a must read. Good luck trying to figure out who's speaking at any given time.
ThisWarcraft fanfiction. The only plausible explanation for the whole thing is that there's someone kidnapping major lore characters and giving them frontal lobotomies.
The prince and the peasant written by Ranay is a Mega ManIn Name Only fanfic which pairs her Self-Insert character, Ranay, with Top Man. The story takes place in Medieval times and supposedly all characters (and yes, including the robot masters) are humans. Not to mention Top Man transforms into a CAT BEAST. The fanfic alone contains large amounts of Canon Defilement, Plot Holes, Departmentof Redundancy Department, and research failure. It’s only made more hilarious by Ranay’s disregard for proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, and overall use of the English language.
“In a kingdom where the laws were absolute, everything was going against these laws was to punish the destruction or death. In the same realm sometimes not even that was wrong was dismissed. But there was something different about this kingdom”
“king is a farce”
"Top stun all soldiers but forget to Rock"
Mega Man At McDonalds. Mega Man owes Dr. Light (presumably, because the author neglected to state whom he was talking to) $44,632.82 from buying diapers, so he gets a job at McDonald's. Mega Man is completely incompetent (he even says he is retarded), and later on, he gets slashed by a "tyrant from Resident Evil", and is beaten up by a generic bully. Everyone is out of character (especially Mega Man). The plot is weak, there are typos, and there are also several failed attempts at humor. There is also a blatant inconsistency; In Chapter 2, Mega Man shoots Johnny Sasaki, which means he is not bound by the Three Laws of Robotics, but in Chapter 3, he self-cites the First Law as the reason why he can't harm "Some The Bully".
Due to several requests for the story to be updated, the story has just gotten a fifth chapter, featuring such things as Mega Man calling Alphonse Elric (of Fullmetal Alchemist) half-Gundam, Mega Man getting "assraped" by black British police, Elec Man stating that firing employees is against the law, and for some reason "Mega Man" is now being referred to as "Megaman".
ITS MY LIFE! for Portal. Marrissa Roberts, Chell's sister, is at first just living in the "portal labs" but then the fan fiction slowly turns into fighting villains of a greater and greater scale.
Amelia_nekomimi's (now named GARGOULES) "Fire Emblem: Ike's Journey" takes elements from both Blazing Blade, Sacred Stones and the Tellius games, adds some Mary-Sue and a bit of Self-Insert and mixes it all with a delicious dose of Peter Chimaera-level writing to create an epic tale of love, sacrifice, pink weapons from the future and magic rocket horses. It's filled with memorable quotes such as "I kill him with cuts and a catle fall on his head" and "ONLY MUCH WORST". Even if you're not a Fire Emblem fan, you'll laugh at how ridiculous it all is.
Superhadou's Crystal Man's Journey is a fanfic about the robot masters from Mega Man 5 going into the future to help X and Zero battle Mavericks and Sigma with Crystal Man as their leader. Though the grammar isn't awful, it contains awful puns, random songs and generally over the top fight scenes.
Umineko: Memories of Umineko A bizarre Umineko fanfiction that contains a mary sue that is coincidentally named Umineko. Battler's in love with her, Beatrice kills him and he's alive because he's an appartion for some reason. This fic is filled with bad spelling and grammar, Ikea Erotica, a plot that doesn't make sense, an over the top mary sue and villain sue. It very well may be a troll fic.
From the Touhou fandom comes Reimu fights the bad guys of adrkness by Talos Angel. It includes (among other things) rampant Rouge Angles of Satin ("Hell Reimu," Reimu fried Marisa sad, "Is god mourning!"), Marisa playing Half-Life 2, Pactouli and Marisa getting "nekked" and having "hot sox" on Reimu's couch, Marisa getting pregnant and having a baby, and a nonsensical plot where Reimu becomes a bad guy. The author admits that she wrote it while drunk, but it's still hilarious either way.
Mass Effect fanfiction has Parallel Realities, which is probably the single silliest Alternate Universe Fic the continuum has given. Admittedly, the premise is interesting, but where the author takes the premise is so silly and incredibly stupid it gets really bad. And yet, there's something unabashed about its silliness and how obvious the Author Tract is that it's hard to hate it.
WOlfenstien comeback, a senseless Troll Fic in which the main character of Wolfenstein (referred to as Dr. Wolfenstein, even though Wolfenstein is the name of the castle) is trying to fight the "Natzees", then ends up in Rapture and is renamed "Bioshock", then he resurfaces and ends up in the world of Fallout for no reason. It has absolutely no story and makes no sense whatsoever, but it's freakin' hilarious.
The (extremely NSFW) Pokemon Black And White fanfic "Bloody Love". The story features Burgh as a YandereSerial Killer who's obsessed with forcing Grimsley to have sadomasochistic sex with him! Burgh suffers extremeCharacter Derailment while at the same time having his camp traits taken Up to Eleven to the point he sings just about every line he says and makes a (possibly unintentional) reference to Damn Yankees. Meanwhile Grimsley has become Too Dumb to Live and doesn't seem to have the faintest clue about how creepy Burgh is acting until it's too late. However, regulars in the Pokemon Black And White fandom may be impressed by how it's Burgh chasing Grimsley this way rather than the other way around!
"Laughter" is a Pokemon Diamond And Pearl fanfic that attempts to explain some things about Cyrus's past. The writing is competent and some of the ideas it raises are interesting, but the random, senseless gruesome torments inflicted on Cyrus come out of nowhere and the first and second chapters gel together so badly they might as well be two completely separate stories. The fic is laughable for its sheer Refuge in Audacity.
Phoenix White: Justifications of Justice! is a Phoenix Wright fanfic involving Phoenix Wright taking over Mr. White's position as the president of Blue Corp, and ending up on trial after trying to resurrect Mia Fey. The concepts are absolutely laughable and ridiculous, but the icing on the cake is the ending where it's revealed that Phoenix Wright is actually a mouse, and the entire Phoenix Wright universe was something he imagined when he was eaten by a cat and went to heaven.
Fan video: "Peach VS Daisy VS Zelda VS Rosalina." (Possibly NSFW.) A little over a minute of blatant Author Appeal that comes across as Fetish Retardant, made funny by the sheer ammount of odd fighting styles and unnecessary cameltoes everywhere. And the winner is a genderbent Link... who blows up Zelda for some reason. Throw in some semi-unfitting dramatic music and you have yourself one hell of a video that managed to get over a million views.
Night Blood Ties is an awkward World of Warcraft fanfic starring the characters of a single player and a couple of guildmates. The plot is literally dropped almost entirely in the subtitle of the fic and that's really the least of the story's problems. Characters routinely blend game terms and in-universe terms to the point where characters refer to large-scale military assaults on capitol cities as "routine". The author's main character constant dives into the spotlight, obscuring the characters relevant to the plot. The story is punctuated with the author pitching his World of Warcraft guild and it's arguable the whole thing was an attempt at promotion via tie-in.
It also has a character named Manthony. Yes, Manthony.
Web Comics
A Homestuck fanfic, the creatively titled Homestuck high (sic), has been posted on FF.net. It's almost reminiscent of My Immortal in some ways. It starts out as a High School AU of Homestuck before quickly going into some bizarre plot about Sollux (who is a demon for some reason) trying to impregnate Rose and Jade and use them to give birth to demon spawn. The fan fic is very much In Name Only, in both Homestuck and in its title, as it's more of a supernatural story than a high school one. It makes no sense and names of canon characters are used for other people. (Aradia is some sort of genie that helps out John, Eridan is John's transformation in order to duel with the demon Sollux, etc.) It also involves John having a vision after possesed by dark magic from a McDonalds burger as an important plot point. And John had liked Rose ever since she... bit his arm and broke his glasses in the second grade. Probably a TrollFic, but still hilariously terrible.
Another Homestuck example would be We're just different, the story of a blatant Mary Sue named Titaia who is sent to a "special school" due to a suicide attempt, where she meets unbelievably OOC versions of the trolls—most notably, Sollux and Karkat, as opposed to being Jerks With Hearts Of Gold as they are in canon, are portrayed as merciless bullies. Titaia is tricked (by Tavros, of all people!) into I Ming Sollux and falls for him. The whole thing is so ridiculously OOC and Narmtastic that it becomes utterly hilarious (though it could be triggering to bullying victims nonetheless), and unlike Homestuck high, it seems completely sincere.
Here is a summary of the fic: Eddy finds a huge jewel and steals it, somehow leading to Ed and Edd to take the blame. While the two are arrested, Eddy tries to play dogeball with Jimmy but accidently kills him. Then Eddy goes back to his house to find it being destroyed by the jewel, getting it replaced by "house held nunchucks". After going to bed and Jackie Chan asks to read him a story, Eddy wakes up to find Sarah. She gets mad at Eddy for killing Jimmy and beats Eddy up untill he confesses that he stole the jewel and then bails Ed and Edd out, but not before the Red Guy puts a spell on Eddy giving him a boil twice the size of the jewel. (The jewel destroyed his house). Yeah.
ED of the World by Steve. The Eds and the kids go to the carnival, which turns out to suck eggs. When they watch trained chihuahuas perform, one of them bites Jimmy, while another destroys Plank. And when the fireworks set off, the kids start bleeding from airborne glass shards. The carnival turns out to be a trap by Jimmy von Diablo, and the kids run away before von Diablo blows up the place. The End.
William Country. An otherwise decent Total Drama Island fan video that has several bizzare sequences with no relation to the plot, such as Cody smoking or two wholy beavers eating everybody before humping with a rap-ish song playing in the background. Also of note, the main plot is about a romance between Cody and an OC who looks almost exactly like him, giving wierd Self Cest vibes. The "sleep" sequences don't help much either. The unfortunate thing about this film is that it is very difficult to find, due to it usually only being uploaded in anacronic parts, and the videos being taken down several times.
This little bit of My Little Pony, ahem, eroticism. It's hard to figure out whether or not it's a Stealth Parody, although the random Rocky Horror reference does raise eyebrows. . .
Attack of the GiantSuki. The title alone probably secures it a spot on this page. Suki gets huge, Ba Sing Se freaks out, and the villain is the Cabbage Merchant. And adding to the WTF-ness, for whatever indeterminable reason, it briefly switches to script format about halfway through each chapter. All intentional.
Korra in the Hood. Possibly the first Legend of Korra Crack Fic to ever grace fanfiction.net, written nearly a month before the show premiered. It has everything a crackfic could ever need: Korra and Naga being raped in the first chapter, a threesome between Korra, Bolin and Mako, Tenzin as an insane fart fetishist, a mecha fight between Zutarians and Equalists and Amon revealing who he really is.
My Innocence. The title alone has convinced people that it's a My Immortal-inspired Troll Fic, but it's hard to tell for sure because there aren't enough similarities between the fanfics. Still worth a read, if only to see the narrator insult lesbians and then apologize for his "pre-juice." Watch out for racism, sexual themes, and mind-searing idiocy.
My Little Unicorn is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is MagicHate Ficthat's also an attempt at aFix Fic, where half the characters are Mary Sues and the other half are either Stupid Evil villains or characters from the show that have been flanderized into oblivion, either for a cheap Take That or because the author is just that misinformed (apparently he hates FiM so much it "hurts" him, whatever that means). The author's main goal is to try and show that the Power of Friendship is useless, and the power of belief is stronger.Yet the characters become friends anyway, and the power of belief seems to mean "Just grab the Deus ex Machina generator and shout that you believe". The author can't really take criticism either. All of the secondary characters are thinly veiled Expies taken from shows the author likes, and the main characters are all either some kind of Self Insert (even the Big Bad) or a Flat Character with an annoying gimmick (like speaking in Painful Rhyme and being an artist. Take that away and they're literally the same). And that's just the beginning. All in all, this is Poe's Law at its finest, and most of the fun comes from watching just how deluded the author can get.
Here is a (NSFW) Thomas the Tank EngineLemon Fic. You read that right. TRAINS (specifically Thomas and Rosey) HAVING SEX. How is this acomplished? Aparently steam valves are exactly the same as genitalia. Making it even worse, is the fact that the author treated it 100% seriously, and used gushy romantic language to describe something that's anything but.
Is one story about two TRAIN ENGINES HAVING SEX not enough for you? Don't Worry! The same author wrotethreemore.
The Secreat Lives of the Ooo and Aaa teens [sic] is an Adventure Time fanfic that has every character falling in love with a genderbent in the most ridiculous and OOC way possible, then getting pregnant, all while every other word is misspelled. The whole premise of the fic is what deserves it be here.
SECRET LOVERS is a The Secret Show fanfic written by Agent Matt that focuses on three pairings, mainly the One True Pairing Victor and Anita, engaging in kissing and (presumably) intercourse. And this is accomplished while every other word is misspelled.
Most of the stories that get posted on Weepingcock qualify, though not all are technically fanfiction. Special mention, however, goes to this one, which is reminiscent of My Immortal.
