Shut Up Hannibal: Real Life

  • Literally, from Rome to Hannibal Barca seven years after the Battle of Zama, whereupon the latter was removed from the leadership of Carthage and forced into exile.
  • During World War One, the German colonial troops in Africa were led by Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck. Under his extremely effective leadership and completely cut off from German supply, white Germans and black Askaris waged the most brilliant campaign of the war, when his 14,000 soldiers held down a British force of over 300,000 and became the only German soldiers to invade imperial British territory. After Germany's defeat and the beginning of the Nazizeit, the elderly general was offered the position of Ambassador to Britain by Adolf Hitler personally. What von Lettow-Vorbeck said is not precisely recorded, but they say that when someone said they had heard the old general had "told Hitler to go fuck himself," the nephew responded, "I don't think he put it that politely."
  • An interesting Real Life occurrence occurred on Indian reservations in The Thirties. The Nazis thought Indians had little loyalty to America and would help them. In addition, the Nazis saw Indians as lost Aryans. Further, they saw their plans for the Jews as little different than if Indians killed all the white people, which they figured Indians wanted to do. So a lot of Nazi propaganda was distributed on reservations by German anthropologists (also collecting intelligence in case Indian languages were used as codes). The result? Possibly the most epic Shut Up, Hannibal! ever: tribes declared war (or renewed declarations of war from the last time) on Germany even before the United States did. Fascist and Nazi ideas were outlawed. And when the United States finally did declare war, Indians from their mid-teens all the way to their forties signed up, lying about their age when need be. And of course—the Germans couldn't tackle every Indian language, and thus the Navajo language was used by the US military as yet another critical part of the Allies' giant intelligence advantage in the War.
  • During a speech in his presidential campaign in San Diego, Ronald Reagan was being interrupted by a heckler insulting him. Reagan, tired from the campaign trail, simply said "Oh, shut up!" and the crowd gave a standing ovation.
  • During a Frank Zappa concert, a heckler shouted to a police officer "Take off that uniform before it's too late!", to which Zappa replies "Everyone in this room is wearing a uniform and don't kid yourself". When the heckler tries stirring things up again, Zappa simply tells him "You'll hurt your throat, stop that!" The conversation can be heard at the end of "The Little House I Used To Live In", off his Burnt Weenie Sandwich album.
  • Thousands of Norwegians respond to the destruction caused during the Oslo Bombings... with roses and song.
  • All together now: "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."
  • The Sultan of the Ottoman Empire once ordered the unconditional surrender of the Cossacks to his rule. In response, the Cossacks responded with a written reply that stated only "Fuck thine own mother" twice. Though another version has them write a much longer reply, but still filled with hilarious obscenities.
  • On April 28, 1988, the TV-broadcast French presidential debate occurs between then President François Mitterand (left-wing) and his current Prime minister, right-wing Jacques Chirac. After two years of "cohabitation", the tensions between them are already well-known, but it reaches its peak when Chirac says, "Allow me to say that this evening, I am not the Prime minister, and you are not the President of the Republic: we are two candidates... equals... and that submit themselves to the judgment of the French... the only one that counts. You will therefore permit me to call you Monsieur Mitterrand!" Then, Mitterrand answers "You are perfectly right about that, Mister Prime minister". What happens next? Until the end of the debate, Chirac calls his adversary "Mister President". He lost the election, until the next one.
  • This open letter to Donald Trump concerning his 2015 remarks about Mexican immigrants.
  • At the Congo's independence ceremony in June 1960, the Belgian King Leopold gave a pompous speech on all the contributions the Belgian's made in the country. Patrice Lumumba, however, called out the Belgian government for its mistreatment of the Congolese throughout its history.
    Patrice Lumumba: We have known ironies, insults, blows that we endured morning, noon and evening, because we are Negroes. Who will forget that to a Black one said “tu”, certainly not as to a friend, but because the more honorable “vous” was reserved for whites alone?