"Welcome to Red Eye. It's like Return of the Jedi, if by 'Jedi', you mean 'a mysterious rash shaped like an avocado'."
Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld is Fox News Channel's successful comedy offering, a panel discussion show hosted by former Maxim UK Editor Greg Gutfeld, along with his "repulsive sidekick" Bill Schulz (who recently vanished without much of an explanation), and ombudsman "TV's" Andy Levy. It airs at 3:00 am ET Tuesday through Saturday.The show hovers between News Parody and Faux News, and it's like The View, if The View had a decidedly pro-Camp Gay bias. Dissimile and absurdist tangents abound. Vulgar Humor and Getting Crap Past the Radar is sprinkled here and there, especially when introductions are given. The show features panelists and guests discussing the latest news in politics, pop culture, entertainment, business, sports, and religion.Guests on the show are primarily composed of political pundits, stand-up comedians, musicians, authors, and attractive women, virtually every episode containing one of each (and every single episode having an attractive female panelist sitting in the chair to the far right side of the table, affectionately referred to as the Leg Chair"). Political opinions often vary amongst the guests, with the show's main trio consisting of an oddly perfect balance: Greg's a conservative-leaning libertarian, Bill's a liberal, and Andy's a libertarian who hates conservatives and liberals. The show often takes pot-shots at everyone and everything under the sun, including Fox News itself. Despite its middle-of-the-night timeslot, the show has beaten most primetime cable news shows in the ratings, and developed a loyal cult following, making it arguably the only news program that can currently claim this status.
Accentuate the Negative: During an interview with Adam Carolla, they discussed his ability to complain about anything, ranging from a Mcdonald's quarter-pounder to lesbians because "lesbians are great until you realize they want nothing to do with your penis" and "they don't all let you watch".
Artistic License - Geography: Greg is frequently wrong not only about where a place is located but what kind of place it is, such as "the nation of Hawaii", "the entire city of Ukraine" and "the continent/planet of England".
Baseball Episode: Red Eye was challenged to a softball match by a strip club. Greg, Bill, Andy, Courtney Friel and Professor Marc Lamont Hill of Columbia University and the strippers divided up and faced off. As one might expect with Red Eye, the game was riddled with oddness and stupidity, from Bill's pathetic headfirst slide/stumble into home plate, Andy's observation that most of the strippers are from "Russia, which I think is somewhere in Africa", and Greg's "stripper injury".
Black Is Bigger in Bed: Andy once told Sherrod "Yeah, you're black, it's huge, we get it", to which he responded "That's right! He's in my sock right now, you lucky he ain't hear you!".
Boomerang Bigot: A story about global warming being racist sparks "black power" rants from both Andy during the Halftime Report and Bill during the Bill-a-buster, both labeling Greg a "white cracker devil".
Bill is the most obvious, but all 3 of the Red Eye trio gets a turn. Bill is a Butt Monkey to Greg, who is often a Butt Monkey to Andy, who is in turn the target of jokes from both Greg AND Bill.
Frequent guest Paul Mecurio takes the cake, however. When he's on, Greg and Andy can be just plain mean to the guy.
According to Greg and Andy, when Jesse Joyce isn't working at one of his dozens of jobs at the mall and fondling his underage girl/boyfriends, he's buying his clothes at Hot Topic and impersonating Herman Munster.
Call Back: During a Halloween episode, a zombie from Blood Manor named Rachel would silently stand right next to people as they spoke. When asked how he stayed so calm, Andy Levy responded "She was only the second scariest Rachel I ever met," a callback to former panelist Rachel Marsden.
"If you disagree with me, then you're a racist, homophobic, (fill-in-the-blank)-ophobe."
He often opened the Mail Time with "You write, I read..." followed by something involving blood or awesomeness, such as "You write, I read, then I run you over in a dune buggy made of FIRE!"
Andy Levy often says, "I apologize for nothing," while Gutfeld "apologizes for everything."
Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Bill mysteriously vanished from the show in late 2013...and fell prey to this until Greg began an episode with a brief explanation that he's "moved on". Even then, everyone's tight-lipped about it.
Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Greg. He's obsessed with unicorns, has a bizarre and twisted sense of humor, and is responsible for the majority of strange fake backstories for everyone. Even when appearing on other Fox News shows, he's just as bizarre as he is on Red Eye. Although he only acts like this for satirical purposes on both shows and not in real life.
People who know of Andrew Breitbart as the ardent conservative activist that he was would probably be surprised to see his appearances on Red Eye and find out he was very much this. One of his responses to a question was to regurgitate a colored ball. When asked a follow-up question, he dumped the rest of the balls on the table. He also engaged in other bizarre acts such as snorting powered wine off a mirror, inhaling helium, and asking Dr. Drew for help with his "friend's" "sexual mania".
Comedic Sociopath: According to Greg's jokes about himself, he is a globetrotting serial killer and molester with a cadre of captured, underaged boy slaves (who may or may not be sexual in nature) he calls "House Boys" he keeps locked in his basement, until he lets them up briefly to amuse him. That's when he's not forcing them to engage in disturbing "games" for their freedom. Also implied that they're all captured immigrants, none of them able to speak English.
Deadpan Snarker: Andy Levy. No one is safe from him (Democrats, Republicans, celebrities, The Black-Eyed Peas, etc.), and his snarking can be absolutelyvicious. His Twitter feed is almost nothing but snark.
In a way, the entire show is a mini-World of Snark. And that's just how Greg likes it.
Don't Explain the Joke: Regarding a story about Playgirl "folding", Andy joked that this would save Bill a lot of "unfolding". Angela Mcglowan killed it by explaning it. Played with when jokes about Playgirl getting "cocky"
Greg: "Angela, don't explain that one."
Sherrod Small: "Ohhh, because it's Playgirl...it's got a lot of dicks...oh okay, I gotcha."
Andy: "You know, I didn't even think of it that way, Sherrod, that was good."
"If hilarity were a bowling alley, I'd roll my balls up and down him."
Often crosses over into vulgarity; one introduction even made Greg Proops (host of the Proops Poops segment) recoil.
Early-Installment Weirdness: Early episodes of the series were quite strange and felt completely unscripted, and the panelists themselves were rather odd as well. During an anniversary episode's flashback to a very early episode, Greg noted his "fat face", Andrew Breitbart's appearance, and Andy Levy's hairstyle and how he "looked like he belonged in an Oingo Boingo tribute band" as well as Bill Hemmer referring to past-Andy as "Mrs. Andy Levy".
False Flag Operation: After interviewing(and messing with) some conspiracy theorists during the Ron Paul "Rally for the Republic" convention, Andy tells them he's with Countdown with Keith Olbermann and this will be the "3rd or 4th biggest story of the day".
Freeze-Frame Bonus: A running gag on the show, where either an image of Pinch making a goofy expression, or images of one of the main trio wearing a creepy metal mask, with subliminal messages such as "OBEY HIM" or "FEED IT" written below them, will flash on-screen for a second at random points in the show.
Greg believes Obama was not born in America, but in Hawaii, a "lovely little island nation."
Greg is utterly clueless about sports.
He has also boasted that the show is "built on ignorance."
Ineffectual Death Threats: Bill and Greg have often traded these. Greg occasionally attempts to get the viewers to kill Bill as well, once offering "five, ten grand".
Greg: "You know, I probably shouldn't make this kind of offer on television."
Insane Troll Logic: Greg falls back on this sometimes. For example, the panelists were confused by a story from the UK where a man was arrested but not yet charged(in the U.S., you must be arrested on charges). Greg concluded "this is why England lost World War I".
Irony: Andy lives on a planet that revolves around this.
Kissing Cousins: Greg argues that you have sex with third and fourth cousins and that science has pointed this out. Science, of course, is his houseboy.
One of the most notorious instances of this is when Patty Ann Browne showed up in a very, very low-cut blue dress—read: Absolute Cleavage. During the intros, she playfully squirmed and made a show of trying to "close" the split—which Greg defied, laughing that "You just doubled our ratings, young lady!
This led to an amusing (and probably unintentional) undertone when a story led to Patti explaining to the panel the three purposes of women's breasts. (In case you're wondering, they are: "Entice a man to sleep with you", "feed the babies that come from that", and eventually "prove Newton's Law of Gravity".)
Joanne Nosuchinsky being promoted to regular to replace Bill can at times ramp this trope Up to Eleven, considering the Running Gag of her joking air of hyper-flirtatiousness.
Name's the Same: In one 2012 segment, co-panelists included wrestler Mick Foley along with Chris Barron, the head of GOPROUD (an organization of LGBT Republicans). During the commentary about some story, Foley made a joke about the song lyrics he thought Barron wrote, prompting everyone to do a Flat "What.". Foley, perplexed asked, "Wait, are you not who I thought you were?" It turns out that he confused Chris Barron of GOPROUD with Chris Barron of the early 90's jam band the Spin Doctors, of "JimmyOlsen's Blues", "Two Princes", and Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" fame (the last song was the one Foley was referencing). This prompted a minutes-long exchange of laughter and Spin Doctors-based jokes, and everyone kept referencing the mix-up throughout the show. During the laughter, Foley paused and then asked "Being completely respectful and not joking at all here: so who ARE you?" prompting even more laughter, including from Barron himself. The whole thing ended up being one big Crowning Moment of Funny, and everyone seemed to have fun with it.
Name That Unfolds Like Lotus Blossom: Greg once told a story of how his Native-American "spiritual guide" once had him make out with a deer, leading Bill to inquire whether the guide's name was "Likes To Trick White Boy". In another instance, Andy stated that many user names he gave from the Activity Pit, such as Harold Stickyhands were not screen names, to which Greg stated they were actually Native American names.
Off the Rails: It is exceedingly common for the Halftime Report to devolve into extended, bizarre exchanges between the panelists that are far removed from the topic, much to Andy's chagrin. This exchange that somehow stemmed from a story about the John Edwards affair:
Greg: Bill, why are you dressed like a runaway? Bill: It's cold in here! I feel bundled up. Greg: He needs a long stick with a little tied-up bandana on the end. Andy: It's called a bindle. Jim Norton: He's like Oliver Twist, if Oliver Twist did poppers. Andy attempts to resume. Bill: He would have if they existed. Call me, Dickens. Andy attempts to resume again. Greg: That was so stupid, you're an idiot.
Pec Flex: To mimic Josuha Mc Carroll, self-described "celebutard" The Greg Wilson removes his shirt for a segment and somehow manages to make his nearly nonexistent pectorals bounce.
Greg Gutfeld: "I cannot believe this. The man has no muscle tone, and yet he is flexing his muscles!"
Poe's Law: For one of Bill's man-on-the-street segments, he visited Bronycon, which sparked particularly reactionary bronies to attack and condemn the segment, believing it to be an attack on the fandom by Fox News, and not realizing it was a satirical segment on a comedy program.
The Power of Cheese: "What would you do for a bucket of KFC chicken? I'd saw off Bill's arm and I don't even LIKE chicken!"
Patti Ann: "Eff the library, start smoking weed, mack on some playground tail, and at the end of the day pour a four-o on your dead homies' graves. That's the P.A.B way, bitches."
Punny Name: Several of Greg's deceased houseboys, including "Dat Ho", "Tu Hung" and "Phen Wei Park".
Rant Comedy: Once per episode in the Greg-alogue where Greg rants about a topic of his choosing, usually something that annoys him. Guests hosts have variants, including the Bill-a-Buster, Andy-gram, and "Reportin' Norton"(Jim Norton). Aside from this, certain guests have a tendency to go on long, bizarre rants, including Kevin Godlington and especially Greg Proops.
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: One of the favorite weapons in Greg's arsenal, against political figures who do things he takes issue with. Andy loves to do this, too—most famously during his Twitter-fight with rapper Chris Brown.
Scandalgate: Parodied in a Running Gag intro for segments focusing on scandals involving the Affordable Care Act: "OBAMA-APOCALYPSO-CARE-AGEDDON!!!(Beat)...GATE!"
Scully Box: Invoked in a Bill-a-Buster to make fun of Greg.
Bill: "Your soapbox is full of lies! I'd tell you to get off said soapbox but the cameraman wouldn't find ya. Schulzcrest out!"
Greg actually stands for the show while the others all sit on bar stools to downplay the fact that Greg is much shorter than they.
Snark-to-Snark Combat: Jesse Joyce and Dana Vachon have had epic episodes, one lasting 10 minutes and involving at least 20 consecutive ripostes
Split Screen: The Halftime Report is conducted this way and taken to ridiculous levels during de-railed ones, with split screens of the split screens and occasionally having up to five. Also played with by Andy when S.E. Cupp made an appearance, labeling a split screen of the three female panelists "2 Girls 1 Cupp.
Straw Misogynist: Greg and Andy play this with regard to a story where Obama called a female reporter "sweetie", where the two discuss how she wouldn't have understood the answer anyway because "it didn't have to do with bath oil or shoes".
Strawman Political: Stereotypical liberalism and conservatism is often lampooned by Greg and Bill, respectively, painting certain news figures (and often each other) as this. When they actually do lapse into stereotypical partisan politics, Andy will call them on it during the Halftime Report.
Suspiciously Similar Substitute: When Bill Schultz left in late 2013, frequent guest Joanne Nosuchinshky became the new The McCoy in the show's Freudian Trio, and even continued Bill's specialty—being the resident expert on pop culture. Downplayed in one sense, though: Her politics are more libertarian/conservative than the liberal Bill.
Occasionally done by Greg to viewers that insult him in their fan mail.
Greg: "Also, while I have your attention, I'm doing a survey: what's it like to be lonely?"
The show has recently started doing segments called "Only In Obama's America," which parody the special episodes of Sean Hannity's show, with a fake studio audience (sometimes even changing the Red Eye logo to Hannity's when showing the audience), and comically twisting the story being covered to somehow blame Obama for it.
That Man Is Dead: Played with in the weirdest way possible. In mid-2013, a Running Gag at the beginning of the show started, involving Greg claiming Andy had met an untimely demise (in an extremely bizarre kind of way), and thus there'll be none of his usual segments. Cue Andy sitting at the table—only Greg introduces him as an alter ego (one occasion involves him being a Swedish athlete named Bjorn). Of course...for the rest of the episode, they all just drop the pretense and refer to Andy by his real name...and the address of his real Twitter-feed appears on screen under him (presumably to let new viewers in on the joke).
Yeah...we know. They eventually dropped this, by Greg saying, "AND, filling in for TV's Andy Levy...IS TV'S ANDY LEVY! Yeah, I was getting tired of that, too...."
Bill: "A woman from one of these sites mentions that you can discuss issues such as 'genetic engineering, organic farming, timber sourcing...topics you'll never hear discussed on Fox News'. How ya like us now, bitch?"
Time Travel: A frequent way of "explaining" how jokes made on Red Eye mysteriously end up repeated onothershows the next day.
Unusually Uninteresting Sight: For every Halloween episode, a bloody zombie named Rachel, from the Halloween attraction Blood Manor, will simply loiter on set menacingly while holding a large, bloody hammer. Her presence is never acknowledged until the end of the show (where she promotes Blood Manor). One year even saw her sitting in a guest's seat, with Greg claiming she was a famous author. Whenever Greg would address her, the camera would center on her as she sat silent and unmoving, with Greg responding as if the "author" had answered his question.
Another year had her hovering over Andy's shoulder during the Half-Time Report. Following this, Andy briefly popped up behind a guest, vacant-eyed, with the hammer! Like with Rachel, no one seems to notice.
Andy later quipped that he was unphased by her because she was only the second scariest Rachel he'd ever met(a Take That to former panelist Rachel Marsden).
Vitriolic Best Buds: Despite all the ribbing that goes on in the show, the main trio are all good friends in real life. In fact, it was Greg who got Bill on the show in the first place.
Dan: "Finally, I don't see what the big deal is about waterboarding. I took my family to the Bahamas, we went waterboarding, it was great." Greg: "Dan, that's boogieboarding." Dan: "Oh." [beat] "Well, I tried to drown my children, does that count?"
Often employed by Greg in (possibly) faux-ignorance; for instance, in a story about the Chevy Volt, he claimed "CRAP" was an anagram of "Volt".