"Death is everywhere. Most people try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, and catastrophe. There are many ways to wind up dead; the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face... a thousand ways to die."
Spike TV's 30-minute anthology of people dying in spectacular, gruesome and often stupid ways. Names were changed to avoid lawsuits, but the stories are based on actual events— supposedly. Each episode also includes commentary from various experts on the science behind the deaths. The final story of each episode, up until season one, shows actual footage of dangerous situations that almost ended in death, along with interviews with those involved, who survived. The series aired two pilot episodes on Spike in May 2008, with Thom Beers (owner of Original Productions, the company that produces the series) narrating. Ron Perlman took over as narrator when the first season began regular weekly airings in February 2009.Official site here.See also the Darwin Awards, which are based upon essentially the same thing. The main difference is that the Darwin Awards emphasize the "stupidity" aspect, whereas 1000 Ways usually favors the "got what they deserved" variant.
On the episode featuring the death of a gym teacher who impaled himself in the eye with his own javelin, the students in his class take a picture of his corpse with a camera phone before running off. The story took place in 1993, well before the days of camera phones (and cell phones in general) being commonplace.
How about the gunstore incident (in which a petty thug accidentally sticks up a gun shop instead of a jewelry store and gets shot by the customers and clerks, who were all legally armed and acting in self-defense) in 2001, where there was a sign showing a Blu-Ray logo.
And in Tali-Bombed, one of the terrorists says his favorite American celebrity is Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus wasn't famous until 2006 (which was when Hannah Montana premiered on The Disney Channel), despite this story taking place the previous year.
"Dive Bombed": The scuba divers who avoided getting decompression sickness when they came up top...then boarded a non-pressurized Cessna for a joyride. The lowered air pressure induced DCS in all three of them, and they were forced to watch in helpless paralysis as the plane flew straight at a mountain.
"Chippin' Dale": The construction worker who gets shredded alive by his wood chipper after using his foot to dislodge a jam. What makes it worse is that this type of death is distressingly common in Real Life. (At least 31 people died in woodchipper accidents from 1992 to 2002). Makes you want to ensure that every woodchipper comes with a DVD copy of Fargo.
"Drunk Die-er": The drunk driver who was still alive and had to not only watch his organs being harvested before they took out his heart, but feel every second of it.
"De-Coffinated": The Haitian man who was paralyzed by his brother through a witch doctor's toxic dust and buried alive.
"Constriction Accident": The construction worker who was buried up to his neck thanks to a truck driver who went to work with a hangover, but died slowly and breathlessly because the pressure on his chest prevented his lungs from expanding.
"Suffer-Cated": A cyclist trying to get an edge over his competition uses an altitude tent to increase his red blood cell count, giving him more oxygen to burn while cycling. His dog, who's been deprived of food and water at the expense of the cyclist's training, accidentally turns off the oxygen while getting his water bottle. The cyclist wakes up, panics from the lack of air, and falls door-down in his tent and suffocates to death.
"Smoke Stalked": The Yandere who tried to break into the home of the dude she stalked and his wife... only to end up spending a week stuck in the chimney since they weren't even there. She slowly died of a mix of starvation, dehydration, and suffocation.
And There Was Much Rejoicing: The show is pretty egregious about this trope. Two of the more blatant examples include "Bitch Zapped" *
A shrewish woman nags at her husband about mowing the lawn until she decides to do it. Eventually, she runs over her husband's arc welder, electrocuting herself. The man's response is saying "There is a God," and sipping some of his wife's martini.
and "Boys 2 Dead." *
A washed-up boy band performs for an unenthusiastic crowd at a bar. The narcissistic leader attempts to crowd surf only to break his neck on the ground when no one catches him. One beat later, the band continues their act.
The victims of "Lesbo-cution" (the woman who decided to become a lesbian after breaking up with her boyfriend — and never came home to have sex with her best female friend because she took off her shoes and stepped into a puddle that had a frayed electric wire in it), "Fright-mare" (a woman dies in her sleep from cardiac arrest after having a nightmare about a demonic dwarf who strangles her), "Nite-Capped" (a man walking home from a New Years' Party with his girlfriend gets shot by a stray bullet from a group of guys who shot their handguns in the air), and "Belly'd Up" (a belly dancer practicing for an upcoming competition accidentally hangs herself on a moving ceiling fan while practicing), just to name a few notable examples
And then there's "Tanked Girl" (the sexy scuba diver who exploded after the night janitor accidentally opened her decompression chamber), "Tanks For Nothing" (the Buddhist yoga practitioner who got bitten by a Florida water moccasin), "Radium Girls" (the story of the 1920s female workers who were exposed to radioactive paint at their job), "Sex Ray" (the patient who got radiation poisoning while watching his doctor bang his assistant — whose backside was banging the "ON" button of the X-ray), "Pissed Offed" (the Irish golfer who went to America to play — and got a fatal infection from a rat who climbed into his pants and pissed on his scratches), "Fin-ished" (the female fisher who finally caught a fish — but it flew in her mouth and suffocated her), "Ichi-boned," (the repressed Japanese couple who died after finally consummating their marriage) and "Poi Vey" (the Orthodox Jew who tried to woo a hula dancer and burned to death after being rejected and getting drunk to dull his pain). The trend of killing off innocent victims finally leveled off by the fourth season, when pretty much everyone who died was given some negative quality to make the death justifiable. Nonetheless, opinions vary on some of these.
Generally, most of the victims are portrayed as either assholes, idiots, or both, presumably to make the Black Comedy easier to accept. For example, a banker foreclosing on a hard-working immigrant's army surplus store ends up shooting himself in the head with a .22 caliber pen-gun. With such a winning personality one would hardly shed a tear for him.
Then there's the idiot who tried to get a car to crash into a fire hydrant by blinding drivers with sunlight reflected off of a mirror...and it worked, only for the hydrant to fly into the Jerk Ass's head and splatter his brains over the pavement.
Then there's the Expy of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore who constantly fixed his car with the music blaring. When his wife kept yelling at him for it, he pushed himself out from under his car and into the path of an oncoming road cleaner. Results were not pretty.
Another Jersey Shorereference, a 20-something fitness enthusiast who mistreats his girlfriend attempts to inflate his inner-tube with tire sealant. Managing to fulfill that task, his cigarette ignites the outer layer of the tube and ignites the tire sealant, causing a massive brain hemorrhage.
There's the one about the guy who would carjack innocent women. One day, he attempted to carjack another woman. However, just as he was about to carjack her, she rolled up the window, and his neck was trapped in the window. Ironically, the woman was deaf, so his cries for help were in vain. When she finally noticed him, he was already dead.
"Mercury in Uranus": The one about the hospital patient (who has been in the hospital numerous times for sticking objects up his rectum — a common sight in most hospitals) who killed himself when he shoved nine glass thermometers up his butt — all of which broke, gave him mercury poisoning, and cut up his large intestine.
"Butt Plugged": Also, the recently released convict who, when confronted by an officer, shoves a can of his illegal pepper spray up his ass to keep from violating parole. The cop pushes him against the side of his truck...and bam! Pepper spray in the colon.
"Eel Effects": The sushi school students who shove an eel up their drunk teacher's butt as payback for the abuse they struggled through during his lessons.
"Mary Lou Rectum": The washed-up gymnast who dismounted off a trampoline and got a parallel bar support jammed between her vagina and rectum.
"Fire In The Hole": A Neo-Nazi uses his dim-witted brother, who shoved a hand grenade up his butthole before getting arrested, in a jailbreak plot. The brother tries to poop it out, but it doesn't move. The Neo-Nazi tries to retrieve it by using a gloved hand up his rectum. He only succeeds in retrieving the pin and not only kills his brother, but also dies in the explosion.
"Colon-Gross-Oppy": A tomboyish college student competes with her male roommates in gross-out contests. She tries to one-up them in a farting contest by sticking a can of whipped cream in her bum to produce gas. Unfortunately, she dies from massive hemorrhaging since the gas in the can causes internal necrosis.
For example, one death has several Viet-Cong veterans play Russian Roulette to settle their argument over what's the best aphrodisiac. After all of them survive, they celebrate by stomping the ground... which triggers a land mine left over from the Vietnam War still in working condition (so to speak).
Another death has two people sneak into a neighbor's pool, which is under construction. After swimming dangerously close to submerged power cords and nearly shooting a nailgun at his girlfriend (he ends up hitting her beer can), one of them decides to make a Slip-N-Slide using a tarp. Of course, nobody notices the nail sticking through the tarp, which disembowels him.
The drug addict who ingests meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP. Rather than drop dead from an overdose, he put a lava lamp in a microwave to speed it up. It explodes.
"Cult Evaded": A goth girl, whose religious fanatic foster parents and their friends subject her to a bizarre exorcism ritual because they mistake her interest in Goth for being possessed by Satan himself. At first, you think they and their lunatic friends are going to end up killing her in the process of "driving away the Devil," but in the end they all die from breathing the carbon monoxide fumes from the coal and incense they were burning in a closed tent...except for the girl, who had the fortune of being in a layer of fresh air near the ground. She managed to escape, not knowing or realizing that her foster parents are dead.
A redneck survivalist takes a walk with a meat hook connected to a chain. Does he die electrocuting himself by throwing the hook onto a power line so he can poach electricity for his TV? Nope. Does he die from hanging himself while trying to lift an elk carcass? Nope. Does he die by falling into a ditch and impaling his throat with the meat hook? Hell yeah.
"Cast Offed": A redneck ends up breaking his arm while cutting wood. Not one to spend his welfare money on something useful like a hospital visit, he makes his own cast. He uses a power saw to cut the cast off some time later and manages not to cut his arm open and bleed out in spectacular fashion. He still dies, though, because his improperly set bone caused bone marrow to seep into his bloodstream and give him an embolism.
The two teen boys playing with katanas. You think that one of them would slice or stab the other one, right? Not really — as the one Japanese boy gets ready to finish off the other, he gets stopped when his katana hits a low-hanging power line and fries his ass.
"Pam Caked!": You think the new girl on the cheerleading squad would have died from falling thanks to the Alpha bitchy head cheerleader letting her go. Turns out the bitchy cheerleader is the one who dies when she gets trampled by the football team running through the banner.
"Orspasm": A woman suffers from Persistant Genital Arousal Disorder (a condition that's basically The Immodest Orgasm on a frequent basis and not as fun or Fanservicey). You would expect the constant orgasms to wreak havoc on her body or be the catalyst in an accidental suicide, but no. Instead, her boyfriend (who takes sick pleasure in making her come by tickling her and using vibration) bites it when he pokes her in the back with a muscle massager. The woman goes into one of her orgasm spells and knocks the guy down the stairs, dying of head trauma and a broken neck.
"Furdered": They actually show two different ways this survival enthusiast died: by falling into a spiked pithe made and getting a bear trap to the face. He actually dies when another hunter mistakes him for a game animal because of the pelts he was wearing.
"Onesie & Donesie": An accident-prone host of a home shopping program manages to avoid death by having a folding ladder fall out from under him and having a piece of a samurai sword's blade break off and hit him in the chest (both of which are references to viral videos that showed the same thing), only to burn to death when a onesie he's wearing catches fire on a scented candle.
A perverted janitor videotapes some teenage girls playing field hockey. He manages to dodge a puck sent his way by one of the players, only to get brained a few moments later by another girl practicing her hammer throw.
The asshole son of an exec tries to put on a motivational seminar for the company's employees. During a round of sumo wrestling in fat suits, one worker, whom he let fall during a trust exercise when he was supposed to catch her, knocks him out of the ring and down a cliff. He managed to survive unscathed... at least until he got hit by a car.
A groupie bitch kicks out her latest boyfriend (who was passed up for a record deal) in such a hurry that he leaves his pet boa constrictor behind. The snake nearly chokes the woman to death but she tosses it off at the last minute. Later, the snake crawls up her house's exhaust pipe and blocks the air flow when the woman turns on the heater, causing carbon monoxide to back up in her house and suffocate her.
"Lawn of the Dead": A group of stoners and cokeheads from the 1970s have a barbecue. One guy overuses lighter fluid on his barbecue, but doesn't burn to death. There's also a lot of drug abuse (cocaine, alcohol, and marijuana), a woman who drinks booze while pregnant, and a woman who sun bathes, despite the carcinogenic effects of the sun's UV rays, and still no one bites it. So, who dies in this segment? A guy playing lawn darts. He throws one in the air, and gets distracted by a woman flashing her breasts at him long enough not to notice that the dart he threw in the air came back down and pierced him through his skull.
"Tapped Out": Two men practice a backyard wrestling routine. Among other things, this includes staple guns, fluorescent lights, and weed whackers being used to inflict pain on the other. One might expect the second wrestler to die from having his chest sliced with a weed whacker. Turns out the man who tried to slice his partner with the weed whacker dies because he was beaten with fluorescent lights, which contain mercury vapor that entered the first man's body through his nose and through the staple wounds on his chest.
"Sign Offed": A sign spinner has a competition against a challenger for the love of a beautiful barista, and he goes off the curb, but avoids getting run over by a car. However, because he hit the pointed tip of his sign on the pavement one too many times, this left a jagged corner of corrugated plastic, slicing his jugular vein and killing him.
"Rebel Without A Pulse": A Civil War soldier is sentenced to die via firing squad for deserting his men. The soldier does drop dead, but not from being shot — turns out he was so scared, he self-induced a heart attack.
The teens playing Edward Fortyhands (a drinking game in which two forty-ounce bottles of malt liquor are taped to your hands and the only way out is to drink them both). You would expect them to die from alcohol poisoning, right? Wrong! They died from suffocating from hydrogen cyanide caused by a cigar setting fire to their couch (which had a lot of synthetic material as stuffing. It was one of those couches that would be right at home in a 1960s/1970s-style basement rumpus room).
The mysophobic woman with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder and hits a mirror. Miraculously, she didn't die from that. What she died from was pulling out a glass shard that was sticking from her armpit. The glass shard was keeping the blood from spilling out of her body.
The cocaine dealer-cum-addict from the 1970s. Given that he snorted a lot of coke and was dancing really fast at a disco, you'd expect him to just simply drop dead from heart failure, right? Wrong! This jive turkey tripped on his own platform shoes and got stabbed in the throat with the sharp end of his male symbol necklace.
"Smother In Law": It is heavily implied that the obese and abusive mother-in-law, who was ultimately crushed by a falling fridge, was about to be stabbed and murdered by her flustered, knife-wielding daughter-in-law after slapping her only moments before.
"In Farm's Way": A pair of teen delinquents are doing work release on a farm. One nearly kills his buddy by throwing a pitchfork into a bale of hay, narrowly missing him. He then starts playing with a captive bolt pistol, thinking it is a milk pump for cows and almost shoots the farmer's daughter with it before using it on himself.
"Somewhere Over The Railing": A girl tries to prank her roommate into sitting on a chair with an unopened airbag hidden in it. The other girl is wise to her friend's ways and declines, resulting in the prankster being pushed into the chair herself and launched to the floor—from the top of a stairwell.
"Pimp My Death": A cheating husband is nearly beaten to a pulp by the pimp of the hooker he intended to have sex with but refused to pay. Said hooker ends up busting her head open on the bathroom sink during the tussle.
"Frost-Dead": A fraudulent cryopreserver (someone who preserves bodies cryogenically in the hope of thawing and revitalizing them) narrowly avoids being sprayed by liquid nitrogen, but still dies from breathing in the nitrogen gas.
"Down With The Clown": A children's party clown out to stop Infernal Clown Posse (played by the actual members of Real Life band Insane Clown Posse) from ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere crashes one of ICP's concerts and gets hit in the head with a bottle of soda. You'd think that would directly kill him, but no. The soda did contribute to his death (soda has sodium in it in the form of salt, which makes water conducive to electricity, as proven when the birthday party clown tries to unplug ICP's speakers, and gets electrocuted since he was still drenched in soda).
Shown in retrospect in "She-Manned"- a female body-builder/fetish actress who likes to sexually humiliate wussy men nearly drowns in her bathtub after drinking a mixture of wine and painkillers. She wakes up just in time —- only to dry-drown hours later.
"Teri-Yucky" is a double one. A busboy at a Japanese restaurant takes his boss's locked up knives after closing and imitates his techniques over a grill. He throws the knife up and miraculously doesn't get stabbed in the head or eye by it. Instead, the knife cuts the rope of a Buddha head decoration hanging above the grill, and more miraculously, the busboy doesn't die of head trauma from getting whacked by it. The busboy does get knocked out, but ends up doing a faceplant on the severely hot grill and gets his face and brains burned to a tempura crisp.
Then there was a segment that was about defying death rather than meeting it. Perhaps the only one to use genuine footage of the incident in question, it was about helicopter pilot Ben Moore's brush with fate when his tail rotor snapped while lugging a 7,000 pound air conditioner hundreds of feet above the ground.
This was repeated with snake handler David Weather's bite from a cobra; he's barely taken to a hospital in time to receive antivenin and stave off the affects of the bite. Like Ben Moore's case, they interview the actual survivor and show the footage of the snake biting him, which can also be seen here.
"Homie's Dead" may be the most triumphant example: a burglar breaks into a house and knocks the daylights out of one of the residents. His wife attempts CPR, but to no avail: he's dead...BUT, it turns out the husband has Lazurus syndrome, which delayed the effects of the CPR. The man recovers in time to scare the living shit out of the burglar, who falls from the balcony while trying to make his escape and dies himself.
Bittersweet Ending: "Ichiboned": a Japanese couple, married seven years, have never slept together due to anxiety. One night, the husband brings home a bottle of plum wine; they split it, and that night finally make love... only to die from simultaneous heart attacks since their bodies weren't used to the effects of an orgasm. Even the narrator admits it's a better way to go than most of the alternatives, and is rated the #1 death.
Black Comedy: Quite a few of the deaths in the series are amusing in a dark and twisted way. Also, the series narrator displays a rather wry sense of humor.
Bland Name Product: Funny Eddie's target, "Infernal Clown Posse". Oddly enough, they're played by the realInsane Clown Posse, a strange case of a group's name being changed for legal reasons and yet the real deal showing up anyway. (The Faygo they throw around is likewise only called "soda pop".)
Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: The drunken bachelorette who broke her neck after a pigeon flew in her mouth. Said to normally be an abstemious Tea Party supporter (who planned on getting wasted on champagne and only champagne), but someone gave her absinthe and she went nuts.
Bloodier and Gorier: The deaths have become more graphic as the seasons go on.
Boom, Headshot: Cranial perforation is not uncommon. People have had their heads filtered out by everything from guns to water nozzels and, yes, even Frickin' Laser Beams in one instance.
Bottomless Magazines: The AK-47 in "Ji-Had It Coming", which the victim (a former American journalist who denounced her U.S. citizenship, converted to Islam, and married a Taliban leader in Afghanistan) fires for at least six seconds before one of the bullets ricochets into her head.
Bound & Gagged: In "Chucked Up" (the story of the housewife who puts on a kinky web show for her husband by tying herself up, only to have a burglar come in, rob her blind, and sicken her to death with his bad breath).
Brown Note: An iDoser (a drug dealer {of sorts} who uses special mp3s that can create hallucinogenic effects when listened) creates a low-frequency sound called "Satan's Jackhammer," which first makes him wet and soil his pants, then makes his cells pop and his organs suffer catastrophic failure.
A break dancer suffers a heart attack when her heartbeat is knocked out of sync by her extremely loud speakers.
Most of the stories are set around Los Angeles or in the USA to make it easier to shoot, but the foreign-set stories stand out as being doubled.
The Russian soldiers in Chernobyl (in the story about the zoophilic Chernobyl soldier who died of blood loss after a raccoon bit off his penis) are wearing American military uniforms.
The ambulance sent to the French reptile owner who killed himself with black widow spider venom in a hare-brained attempt to be immune to it is an American Ford van.
And the Sicilian hills (in the story of the Italian man who unearths a shrapnel grenade and kills the two mafiosi who were planning to kill him for refusing to pay back a loan) are reminiscent of Kirk's Rock.
Chained to a Bed: Happened to a cross-dressing cokehead who ended up drowning when his stiletto heels punctured the waterbed mattress on which he was chained.
Cheaters Never Prosper: An amateur motocross racer, vindictive after having lost to her rival, tries to sabotage her by sticking a bolt into her bike's chain. It works all to well: the chain snaps off, only to hit the cheater in the neck and slice her throat.
Conspicuous CG: A meth addict blows off his jaw after dipping his gum in explosive powder. Also when a land mine goes off under three Viet Cong veterans, and when two con artists posing as preachers get blown up in a grain silo.
Cruel and Unusual Death: The show's premise, particularly when dealing with deaths from bizarre medical conditions, like the Amish boy who went out drinking and died because he was born without an enzyme that processed alcohol, the pot farmer who smoked his own stash and ate a grasshopper (which triggered an allergic reaction he never knew he had), or any time someone drops dead from an allergic reaction that the victim never knew he had.
"Killdo": A horny woman who uses a peeled carrot as a dildo and ends up dead when she cuts herself from the inside and an air bubble gets caught in her circulatory system.
"Unintented": A woman masturbating in a tent after ditching her boyfriend who couldn't satisfy her gets trapped in a freak windstorm and ends up dead when the tent slammed onto the roof of a shed.
"Heart On": The man who electrocuted himself after using a cow's heart hooked up to A WALL SOCKET as a sex toy.
Dead (Man Dressed Up As A) Baby Comedy: "Crib Your Enthusiasm" (in which an infantilist gets his spine and neck crushed by the drop gate of his crib [it should be noted that drop-gate cribs are now considered hideously illegal in the U.S. due to how many actual babies — not adults who like to dress up like babies — get injured from them]).
Deadpan Snarker: A dog, oddly enough, in "Doggie Style," and the announcer (Ron Perlman) most of the time.
"Trailer Trashed": A man cleaning his newly purchased trailer dies from breathing in the deadly fumes created when the gallon of bleach he pours into the trailer's toilet mixes with the ammonia gas exuded by the waste left in the septic tank.
"Exhaustdead": A jerk planning to ambush his ex-girlfriend (who dumped him for being verbally abusive) and her date by shooting them with a paintball gun, left his engine running for a fast getaway. Unfortunately for him, he backed his car into a pile of trash bags that blocked the tailpipe and, with the windows rolled up, the car quickly filled up with carbon monoxide gas.
"Gasketballed": Two college kids play around inside a giant helium-filled basketball leftover from a pep rally...and forget where the zipper is to get out.
"Tube Snaked": An underwear-clad groupie barely survives being strangled by her ex-boyfriend's pet boa, only to die from carbon monoxide poisoning when the snake clogs her house's exhaust pipe.
"Coffin to Death": A Japanese rock star gets trapped in a coffin by a guitarist who upstages him with a three-minute rock solo, causing him to choke to death on carbon dioxide from dry ice that was meant to be used for theatrics.
"Asphyxi-Asian": A Japanese game show contestant asphyxiates during a scuba diving contest when her oxygen tank got mixed up with an intake of truck exhaust.
"Chemi-Killed": A scorned lab assistant pitches a hissy fit and throws chemicals around the lab, including a flask of sodium azide. The flask explodes in a sink of water, turning the sodium azide into hydrogen azide, which burns her face and destroys her lungs.
"Rocky Roadkill": A drug dealer disguises his operation by running it out of an ice-cream truck, complete with freezer and decoy ice cream. All is well until one of his amphetamine-addict customers decides to rob him at gunpoint. The dealer jumps into the driver's seat and puts the pedal to the metal, successfully evading the guntoting tweaker-but the refrigerant tank in the freezer is ruptured during the escape. The van fills with freon, suffocating him and the man blacks out and hits a tree.
"The Depart-Dead": Two teens playing Edward Fortyhands (a drinking game in which two bottles of beer are taped to your hands and you can't free yourself unless you drink all the beer from both bottles) suffocate when one of them spits out a cigar on the couch, which burns the couch and releases hydrogen cyanide into the room.
"Gorgeous Gorge": A bulimic supermodel's stomach ruptures during her ritual of binging and purging in a hotel room.
Also a contributing factor to the death of the belching man in "Gut Busted," whose years of bad eating have left his stomach full of ulcers.
"Death of Sum Young Guy": A glutton eats at so many all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets and nearly chokes. Thankfully, somebody saved him with the Heimlich maneuver. However, shortly after, he dies of a massive heart attack caused by the high content of MSG built up in his body.
"Tenta-Killed": An old-fashioned Korean father, in an attempt to dissuade a Korean-American boy from dating his daughter, swallows a live octopus whole. (It Makes Sense in Context). The octopus's suction cups latch onto his throat, suffocating him.
"Scarf-Facd": A terrorist starved himself to escape his prison cell. When he meets up with his terrorist cell, he gorges himself on food, which is not a good idea after starving yourself for so long (The technical term is "refeeding syndrome").
"Lesbocution": A woman who just got dumped by her boyfriend decides to become a lesbian and celebrate by having sex with her female best friend. On the way home, the woman takes off her high heels and leans against a metal traffic light pole — just as she steps into a puddle with a fallen electrical wire in it.
"Smoke-a-doped": A sex addict who put an entire pack of nicotine patches on her body to quit smoking after her boyfriend (who hates smokers) threatens to stop having sex with her.
"Die-Agra": man dies of a Viagra overdose because his wife slipped some in his beer, his mistress slipped some in his water, and the man himself took some before he skipped out on his wife to see his mistress.
"Chucked Up": A woman acting out a bondage fantasy with her husband via a webcam, chokes on her own vomit due to her mouth being duct-taped shut and being sickened by a robber with halitosis.
"Sex Ray" is an odd example, as none of the participants having sex died, but an onlooker. The man was inside a hospital, having a brain scan taking using radiation. In a nearby room, a nurse and the doctor start having sex, accidentally hitting the power button for the radiation machine...
"Erecto-Phobia": A man dies after having sex with three girls while sporting wood that just wouldn't quit — caused by a wandering spider whose venom causes erections in males before poisoning them.
"Domin-a-dead": A 32-year-old virgin on his first sexual experience with a dominatrix dies from a full-body allergic reaction from his latex gimp suit.
"Les-Boned": A bisexual, nymphomaniac home seller gets it on with a prospective buyer (who's a lesbian) in the laundry room, noticing a bit too late that there was a gas leak, and that gas leak resulting in an explosion when the hot water boiler went on.
"Hertz So Good": An exhibitionist couple (the male in the couple sporting a new Prince Albert) get it on on top of an old transformer. The Prince Albert the guy is sporting causes electricity to shoot through his member and electrocute him. The girl remains safe, since she was sitting on the transformer and not touching the ground, thus not completing a circuit.
Subverted in "Bed Buggered", where a nerd, who suffered the agony of being "sexiled" (read: kicked out of a dorm room or apartment by a roommate who needs a place to have sex with his partner) when his jock roommate landed some tail, finally got some of his own. While doing his girlfriend, the jock tried to hit on her. Unfortunately for the jock, the top bunk (where the nerd and his girlfriend were doing the nasty) falls on top of and crushes him.
"Ass-phyxiated": A weight-loss pill salesman with a fetish for fat women suffocates to death when his morbidly obese "client" passes out on top of him from an orgasm.
"Deadliest Munch": A lesbian chokes to death on her girlfriend's candy thong.
"Boris Bititoff": A drunken soldier attempts to have sex with a raccoon after he fails to score with a female soldier. It bites his penis off and he bleeds to death.
"Vom-Ate-Dead": A girl with a fetish for being puked on tries to pursue a boy that has just won a hot dog eating contest. She forces him to throw up by sticking her fingers down his throat, and accidentally gets a piece of unchewed hot dog lodged in her throat.
"Crappy Ending": A tourist gets stung to death by Asian giant hornets while visiting a "happy ending" parlor in Bangkok.
"A Trip To The Maul": A cheating husband goes blind from vasocongestion after having sex with his mistress. He wanders around in confusion and literally walks right into a brown bear. The bear mauls him to pieces.
A Nazi was shot in the head during World War II. Miraculously, he survived, but the bullet was stuck in his head and located near a major artery. Fifty years later, the former Nazi (now living in New York City) accidentally bumps his head while getting milk from his refrigerator. The bullet finally hits its target and the Kraut goes kaput.
A psychopath is subjected to electro-shock therapy to cure his psychosis. The full effects of the shocks doesn't hit him until he tries to escape, at which point the arrythmia from the shocks causes him to have a heart attack.
Depraved Bisexual: The boss in #118, "Blown-Job", who gives a promotion to a man over his secretary on the grounds that the man was more willing to give him oral sex.
Yes, many of the people portrayed on the show were idiots and/or assholes, but in some of their cases the horrible way they died was probably far in excess of what they deserved to have happen to them.
Another good example was the nature lover who got hit by a car and decapitated while trying to resuscitate a raccoon that she ran over. Yeah, she was a little nutty and maybe giving CPR to a dead animal isn't necessary or wise, but there was no one on the road when she came to the dead critter on the road, so the driver had all the time in the world to stop or swerve.
And the Amish boy on Rumspringa (a time for Amish teens to go out and live like "normal" teens {i.e., drink, smoke, have premarital sex, drive cars, experience modern technology, wear colorful clothes, etc} before buckling down for a life of work) who died of drinking alcohol because his body was genetically incapable of doing so. He just wanted to have fun (considering the sheltered culture he lived in), it wasn't like he was a jerk when he drank, and the Amish don't really believe in modern medicine, so how was the boy supposed to know he had that problem?
A stewardess is sucked out of an airplane while she was still alive, freezing to death on her way down. Sure, she may have been a bit cranky and indifferent toward her passengers (as it was her last flight before she retired), but still, that's just awful.
There was a man who got shot in the chest — by a bullet that was fired directly into the air by some more rowdy New Year's celebrators.
And the belly dancer who accidentally hanged herself when she tossed her scarf in the air while practicing for an upcoming contest. She did nothing wrong (except leave the ceiling fan on while she was practicing) and actually put herself through veterinarian school with her talent by dancing at Middle Eastern restaurants and nightclubs. At least she died doing what she loved...
The Christian boy who died when a meteorite shot through his chest (even though there is no record of anyone ever dying of a meteorite hitting them). Sure, he was a bit awkward, and attempting to push his religion at a drunken frat party wasn't the best way to make friends, but he seemed like a genuinely decent kid who was just trying to socialize.
The obnoxious girl who died from Irikundji syndrome (one of the most painful ways to die) after swallowing a jellyfish. She was only that way because she had a friendless childhood and she spent the last minutes of her life feeling her throat swell up, all the while getting painfully stung to death from the inside, with no one to help her because they thought she was faking it.
The girl who dies after her breast implants explode from high-altitude air pressure on a plane. Her only crime was getting cheap implants from a Back Alley Doctor, as a result of her wanting bigger assets.
Same deal with the woman who got phony butt implants so she can get with a rapper and suffered an embolism from the bathroom caulk going through her body. The only thing she did wrong was not go to a legitimate plastic surgeon.
The secretary from "Blown Job" (#118). She refuses to give her boss a blowjob and receive a promotion in return, and drowns her sorrows in energy drinks. When she finds out that her boss gave the promotion to a male employee who was willing to go down, she confronts him about it...and suffers a heart attack from so much caffeine.
"D-Parted": A flirtatious and recently divorced Femme Fatale tried to seduce a group of construction workers, one of which is so taken by the woman that he loses control of a concrete saw and ends up slashing the woman in half.
"Re-Tired": The man who ended up with a face full of shrapnel from overinflating a tire — all because he was too busy looking at a porno magazine.
"Pornicated": Another porn addict who didn't realize his wife had left him and ended up dead from dehydration while trying to find his way out of the attic in which he holed himself.
"Sex Ray": The man who got his brain fried while watching his doctor have sex with a nurse (whose rear end kept hitting the X-ray button).
"Lawn of the Dead": The man whose dart which he accidentally threw into the air, as his female companion flashed her breasts, lands in his skull and through the bridge of his nose.
Dogged Nice Guy: The Orthodox Jew who tried to get a hula dancer to like him in "Poi Vey."
Dog Walks You: An unemployed woman who reluctantly takes a dog-walking job gets pulled by a pack of dogs and gets fatally nailed in the head when she slams into a tree.
Don't Try This at Home: ...You Will Die! Naturally, part of the disclaimer at the beginning of the show. And as if that's not enough to hammer the point home, they also flash an "Idiot Alert" when someone on screen does something so dangerous and idiotic that imitating their actions will not only get you killed, but you will deserve it for being so stupid.
The steamroller operator who gets drunk on the job. He forgets to set the roller's brake when climbing down to go use a nearby port-a-potty. Need I tell you what happens next?
A dump truck driver shows up for work hungover and accidentally buries a co-worker in sand while said co-worker was digging a ditch.
"Tone Death": An audio programmer creates a type of drug using subsonic frequencies, the listening of which through stereo speakers could produce highs similar to LSD. While creating a new batch using military-grade hardware, though, the powerful subsonic frequencies liquefied his organs.
"Curl Up And Die": a hairstylist makes a habit of seducing his female clientele with alcohol and quaaludes, a drug that was legal until the 80's. At the end of the day, he was so hopped up on ludes and booze that he passed out on his curling iron, burning his trachea to a crisp.
"Guns 'n' Noses": An African warlord is addicted to "Brown Brown": cocaine mixed with nitroglycerine-containing gunpowder. He snorts lines of Brown Brown off a surface he had previously placed diamonds on, mixing the drug with microscopic diamond filaments that shred their way throughout his circulatory system.
"Fecal Attraction": A rock star that runs out of drugs gets a tip from his bandmate on making Jenkem, a hallucinogenic drug created from fermented human sewage. After running out of the "main ingredient" to make Jenkem, he resorts to sniffing waste from a port-a-potty and dies from the high amount of methane.
"Therm-Assed": A girl forced to go to a religious retreat spikes dinner with ecstasy. While everyone is high on the drug, she chokes a bit on some soot from a campfire and reaches for a thermos to wash it out. The problem? The thermos had boiling-hot water in it, which inflames her epiglottis and chokes her.
"Dead on Arrival": A drug smuggler tries to sneak LSD through an airport by soaking his shirt in it and wearing it. His perspiration causes the LSD to be absorbed into his system, enough to cook his brain.
"Apocalypse Harley": Charlie Sheen gets hopped up on coke and tiger blood. Hilariously winning death ensues.
Drunk Driver: In "D.U. Die", a drunken motorist suffering from a bought of car-sickness sticks his head out the window to puke...and is decapitated by a mailbox, to the horror of his equally drunken passenger.
Ejection Seat: A deadbeat dad purchases one as furniture for he and his fat loser friend's new guy pad. Unbeknownst to him, the seat still had a live ejector rocket in it and when he pulled the ejection handle, he was sent flying through the roof and his skull was crushed.
Epic Fail: Special mention goes to the terrorists who blew themselves up.
Epileptic Flashing Lights: A stripper who likes to pickpocket her customers has a grand mal seizure while cage-dancing in "Leave It To Seizure" thanks to the strip club installing strobe lights (and turning them on during her cage dance).
Everything's Worse with Bears: Played straight in "Em-Bear-Assed" (a man tripping out on psychedelic mushrooms crashes a furry orgy, mistakes a real bear cub for a costumed human and gets mauled by the Mama Bear), "Tree Mugger" (a nature lover protesting against a tree being set up to be cut down watches in horror as a grizzly slashes him open while the man is chained to the tree), and "A Trip To The Maul" (another bear mauling death; this time, it's a man who is camping out in the woods so he can cheat on his wife and went blind from vasocongestion [temporary or permanent sight loss from having sex]).
Evil Poacher: Mr Chao, who walks through parks looking for animals to capture and smuggle, dies when an eagle drops a tortoise onto his skull, similar to the legend of the death of Aeschylus.
Although the writers confused this trope with a fatal case of the bends, "Tanked Girl" is an example.
That episode's death might have been based on the Byford-Dolphin Diving Bell Incident, even though the actual circumstances were absolutely nothing like what we see on the show.
"Steward-Death" is based on the 1988 Aloha Flight 243 incident.
Explosive Stupidity: When it comes to handling explosive devices and/or volatile substances, there's very little margin for error. Being careless while doing so is a surefire way to lose your life.
"Dead Eye": An arrogant gym teacher who throws a javelin and ends up getting it through his eye.
"Vermin-ated": A fugitive stuck in a pipe whose eye is eaten alive by rats.
"Succu-Offed": Two stones stole a Saguaro catcus and celebrate with peyote in the desert. They later get a shared hallucination where the Saguaro tells them they will be punished for their crime. They run screaming as one stoner falls on an Agave plant and is pierced through the heart while the other stoner runs into another Saguaro cactus and gets speared in the eye.
"Samurai Death Squad": A Japanese-American street racer gets a lance through his eye.
"Contact Die": A chemistry student determined to screw her way to an easy grade by seducing the class genius has her contacts fused to her eyeballs after performing an experiment without wearing goggles. She then spends the last few minutes of her life running around in blind panic ([Incredibly Lame Pun pardon the pun]]) before slipping on a wax floor and breaking her neck.
"Scam Eye Am (Dead)": A Nigerian scam artist gets found out and hides behind a door with a coat hook on it. Enter the angry scam victim, who shoves open the door and guess what's hanging on the coat hook when the door swings the other way.
"Eye-Sick-Kill": A lecherous stoner mall Santa who got fired for sexually harassing his female elf workers gets an icicle to the eye.
Failed a Spot Check: The criminal from "Greased Is The Word," who was planning to rob a jewelry store and failed to notice he went through the wrong door... the door to a gun shop.
Every episode manages to get at least one woman in her underwear, a bikini, or some other skimpy clothing. Justified that this show airs on Spike TV, so Fanservice like this is pretty par for the course.
Lampshaded in "Pipe Snaked" (the story of the bitchy groupie who threw out her wannabe rocker boyfriend, almost got strangled by his pet boa constrictor, then suffocated in her home from carbon monoxide poisoning after the boa took shelter in the exhaust) when the narrator points out that the groupie seemed to live in her underwear.
A more recent example: two lesbians are about to get it on in the laundry room before one of them stops and notices a strange smell. That smell is natural gas, and that natural gas ends up blowing them up.
Another example is when the sexy scuba diver blows up.
"Work of Fart": A college student training for a fraternity farting contest accidentally sets his coach on fire by letting one rip near an open flame.
"Gass Hole": A proctologist using a cauterizer (a device that uses heat to seal or open wounds without drawing blood) has his lungs burned when the patient accidentally lets one out.
One fat man dies from his ulcerous stomach ripping open after his girlfriend tried to alleviate the pain by punching him in the stomach, and another has a heart attack caused by the MSG in ten(!) plates of Chinese food.
One tries to stop being a Fat Bastard by way of a do-it-yourself liposuction. Obviously, it doesn't go as planned.
The food critic who died when he swallowed a plastic toothpick from a martini, which lodges itself in his stomach lining was both fat and a complete bastard (especially since his scathing reviews led to many restaurants shutting down).
Fingore: In "Bot-ily Harm", a teenaged genius who used his robotic inventions to annoy his mom makes a robot with motion sensors from his Mom's Roomba. His bladed robot started up when the boy dropped a screw and picked it up. The robot went into attack mode and sliced off his fingers, cut his leg, and eventually went for his stomach.
Don't forget the prospect Russian mobster who gets his fingertips burned with acid by his fellow Mafiya members in USSR-Dead. (As for the death itself, see Gargle Blaster)
The Yakuza leader who cuts the finger off an incompetent karaoke singer, then swallows it whole (only for him to choke on it, and die when his bodyguard improperly gives him the Heimlich maneuver)
Flatline: Used in a few deaths whenever the victim is in a hospital bed, such as the one about the Russian spy who was poisoned with a polonium isotope as punishment for defecting or the showgirl who suffered from the flesh-eating virus after cutting herself with a rusty razor.
Frickin' Laser Beams: One death involves a CIA operative melting a terrorist's brain with an experimental laser rifle.
Fridge Logic: Sometimes invoked when the narrator describes a death-experience that couldn't possibly be verified, such as the drunk driver who was supposedly mistaken for brain-dead and had to watch his own organs harvested. With no detectable signs of life whatsoever, how would anyone know he was aware of this?
A guy gets high on mushrooms and stumbles into a furry orgy. While trying to participate, he gets turned down by the furries present and, in his stupor, tries to engage in sex with an actual bear. The bear doesn't appreciate it. During the segment, the concept of a furry is explained by some loser in a piss-poor fursuit.
A furry orgy that is taking place in the MIDDLE OF THE MOJAVE DESERT. Seriously, What the hell?
Then there was the guy who got his jollies by drinking milk straight from a cow's udder and got kicked in the head.
A temp worker who decides to become a stripper after realizing she'll never be an actress gets a sub-par boob job and boards a plane... It's not pretty. Orpossible.
Then there's the story of another stripper who huge implants who uses alcohol and Oxycontin (which shouldn't be mixed together in the first place) to alleviate her back pain. She died when her jugs fell over her face and suffocated her (made worse by the fact that she was so wasted on booze and Oxycontin that she couldn't react to it).
Gargle Blaster: "USSR-Dead": A Ukrainian immigrant joining the Russian Mafia accidentally drinks sulfuric acid (the same acid that was used to burn his fingerprints so no one could link him to any crimes) while celebrating his initiation.
The belching man in "Gut Busted," due to his stomach breaking down.
And the actual name of one death where a fugitive on the run drinks gasoline since he's miles from a liquor store/bar and doesn't want to get caught by authorities.
Also the name of the story where a surgeon with a butt fetish operates on a stripper who ate a chili dog prior to her rectal operation (because the doctor failed to tell her that rectal operation patients can't eat anything 12 hours prior to said operation) and whose fart sets fire to his cauterizer, which burns his lungs completely.
Getting Crap Past the Radar: One of the theatergoers in "i-Boned" (a man in a trenchcoat who first confronts the woman on her cell phone) is implied to be an onanist.
"Ass Phyxiated" (the one about the chubby-chasing weight loss salesman who dies after having sex with a fat woman),
"Ichiboned" (the one about the Japanese couple who die after having simultaneous orgasms/heart attacks),
"Coming & Going" (the one about the woman who got off while riding her boyfriend's motorcycle — and ended up tumbling onto the road),
"Die-Agra" (in which a man has an overdose on Viagra and dies during an orgasm),
"Erecto-Phobia" (a man dies from a heart attack during sex due to the venom of a wandering spider that bit him earlier),
and so forth.
Gorn: When it's described what happened. Seems to be getting gorier each season. A preview for the 2010 season has a fat man's guts sucked out with an industrial vacuum, two piercing addicts who get decapitated while leaning out their car windows and kissing each other, and a Granola Girl who gets hit by a car while trying to resuscitate a dead raccoon.
A man shoots a hornet's nest with a paintball gun to impress his trailer trash wife, and gets stung multiple times by the enraged swarm of insects. The fact that he was allergic to hornet stings (and never knew it) was also a contributing factor in his death.
"Crappy Ending", A man visiting a Thailand massage parlor gets attacked by a hive of Asian Giant Hornets that were living in the parlor's wall.
Granola Girl: The victim from "Road Killed", a hippie chick named Sally aka Morning Glory, who runs over a raccoon going while driving to a hemp convention and tries to use CPR on it. Tilting her head up to cough, she has her head ripped off by the bumper of an incoming vehicle.
The heretic priest who got his groin split in two on his own invention during the Spanish Inquisition as punishment for building the device in the first place, though this is more Karmic Death...he DID build the device, but he was accused of being a heretic and thus was the first victim...Hoist by His Own Petard.
To add on to this list, the Portuguese man treating Brazilians like slaves and forcing them to pan for gold. While swimming in the Amazon River, he stops to urinate, and gets a candiru fish to lodge into his urethra. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, he rips the still lodged candiru out (and therefore, the inside of his penis), spilling out blood which attracts a school of piranha that eat him alive.
"Hertz So Good": A man with a "Prince Albert" penis piercing dies from being shocked by an old electrical transformer. The episode has a shot of him lying on the ground, smoke curling around his crotch.
The bitter gymnast who dismounted off a trampoline — and lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars. The force was enough to rip her rectum and vaginal opening and cause fatal damage. Doubles as Impaled with Extreme Prejudice.
The abusive football coach who died of sepsis after the star kicker of his team kicks him in the crotch — with cleats that have lead insets in them (the force of which sent a bone fragment into his kidneys). Usually, when men get kicked in the groin, they wish they were dead. In this case, there was no wishing.
"Half-Offed": A Jerkass businessman cuts the line for a taxi, only to get cut in half by a steel cable from a passing truck that gets caught in the taxi's trunk lid.
"Ex'D Ex": A jealous ex tries to wreck his ex-girlfriend's date, only for him to get run over by a tractor.
If a blood vessel is severed, there's a good chance it's going to spray blood like a fountain. If it's the jugular vein or carotid artery, this is a certainty.
Justified in the story of the coke dealer from the 1970s who died when he tripped on his platforms and got stabbed in the jugular with his male symbol (the male symbol is the one with the spearhead, for those who don't know) necklace. He bled faster than normal because the cocaine and high-energy disco dancing made his heart beat faster.
A pair of dimwitted terrorists were blown up by their own bomb when they forgot about daylight savings time while setting the device's GPS-based timer.
And the one about the abusive boyfriend who tried to kill his girlfriend by shoving her off a cliff after taking her picture. He didn't count on the girlfriend shoving him over in self-defense.
Let's not forget the Spanish donkey's inventor, a fifteenth-century priest who was the first victim of his own device during the Spanish Inquistion.
How about the one where a cheating cock fighter wins after attaching razor blades to his rooster's feet ... only to have the rooster turn on him and slice open his jugular vein with said blades?
A robot builder makes an attack robot with motion sensors, which sees him and slices him up.
A ruthless Laotian druglord sets up barbwire as a security measure. When a pair of thieves show up in the field, the druglord, known for decapitating trespassers, takes to his ATV armed with his machete. As he's closing in on the two thieves, the druglord drives right into his own barbwire trap, which winds up decapitating him.
The story of Perillos of Athens, the inventor of the "brazen bull". He created it for King Phalarus in order to secure himself a comfortable living. Instead, he winds up becoming the brazen bull's first victim.
"Dog Dead Afternoon", a dogfighter named Vick tries to steal a pitbull named Michael, only to have a security guard show up during the job. So he tries to wait the guy out, instead of just leaving when the guard falls asleep. The guard comes over to close the door to the dog pen and sees Vick. The guard falls in front of the cage door and then Michael wakes up, mauling Vick to death.
Human Sushi: A lech at his bachelor party tries to rape a stripper who was used as a human sushi bar. He died when the toilet's flush mechanism blew up and shot his rectum filled with jagged porcelain.
Humiliation Conga: "Blown Job" in which a female employee refuses to give her boss, Mr. Elliott, (who is sexist and bisexual; to the latter of which she was oblivious) a blow job to get the promotion she's aiming for (despite tolerating his other acts of sexual harassment), and decides to fill up on tons of energy drinks to take her mind off the dirty thought. A recently-hired employee tries to get the promotion, by doing the same thing, and succeeds, much to her anger, fueled by her energy drinks, which have caffeine in them. She confronts Mr. Elliott and screams at him for being a sexist scumbag — until she dies of cardiac arrest from the excess caffeine.
Hurricaneof Puns: A lot of the titles of the deaths, most of which try to work the word "dead" or "death" in it (some of which are better than others).
The couple who ate live snails and ended up dying from parasites that fed off their brain matter (with the man telling the woman thathe was gayjust before they both died, to which she replied she hated him), the scam artist male nurse who ingested denture whitening tablets (which he mistook for breath mints after kissing an old lady with bad breath), and the nervous executive who ate dirt and died from E. coli since the dirt had her hippie neighbor's excrement in it (yes, the woman ate shit and died.)
An idiot gets the bright idea to try and survive in the woods after watching a wilderness survival program on TV. He tries to eat a mixed salad of wild vegetation he found in the woods, containing a deadly trio of oleander (which played havoc on his heart), foxglove (which made him retch violently), and hemlock (which scrambles your brain).
A rich couple end up dying from some spoiled food. They should've known better than to hire Typhoid Mary as their chef.
In a case of "I Drank What", a Depression-era couple from West Virginia try to get in on the liquor business (as Prohibition made bootlegging alcohol a booming business) by making their own to sell to city folk. While sampling the "four-shot" (the preliminary batch), they ingest methanol, which causes them to go blind, then shuts down their organs.
Another one from the "I Drank What?" file: A guy and his girlfriend who steal luggage from airport terminals find a bottle of what he thinks is expensive rum. It turns out to be liquid cocaine (a concentrated mixture of cocaine and kerosene) that a drug smuggler was sneaking into the country. He drank a massive overdose of the drug and died.
Also from the "I Drank What?" file: A Ukrainian immigrant and his cohorts drink vodka to celebrate his initiation into the Russian mob. Only, it's not vodka they're drinking—-it's the sulfuric acid he used to erase his fingerprints, courtesy of the senile bartender who got the two clear liquids confused. (To be fair, the two bottles looked exactly the same.)
The taxidermist who ate squirrel meal — from a squirrel that was infected with rabies.
The marijuana farmer who ate a grasshopper — and died from an allergic reaction to the insect's exoskeleton.
"Abracadaver": A magician and his lovely assistant fail to do the "catch a bullet in your teeth" act.
"Written Offed": A Jerk Ass banker uses a pen gun while trying to foreclose on a military antique store dealer for not paying his mortgage.
"Smoked": A teen smoker puts three cigarettes in a shotgun shell, loads it in a shotgun, and shoots his friend in the face to teach his friend a lesson in bumming cigarettes and not paying him back.
"Dead-dy Dearest": An Overprotective Dad scares his daughter's boyfriend by firing a blank revolver, then attempts to shoot himself in the head to prove that the gun doesn't have real bullets in it. The guy died from the pressure of the blast traveling down the barrel of the revolver and cracking him in the temple.
Conrad: I'd do Ozzy, but not, like, in a gay way. You know, it's just like... Taylor: I would do him in a gay way. Conrad: Yeah! That's cool.
I Love Nuclear Power: A pair of Yemen terrorists try to construct a nuclear weapon by using tungsten rods to focus radiation from a plutonium core. One of the terrorists, however, accidentally touches one of the rods with the core, causing a massive burst of radiation to be unleashed, destroying their immune systems and killing them only a few days later. This is based on the "Demon Core" experiment that killed scientists in 1945 and 1946.
I'm a Humanitarian: "Reef Stew," where a Fijian tribe forced into vegetarianism because of a typhoon end up cannibalizing two drug smugglers who happened to wash up onshore.
"Bull-Heavia": A Middle Eastern dictator with a secret obsession with America — despite filming threats against the country — gets jabbed in the heart with a miniature version of the Washington Monument after flying off his malfunctioning mechanical bull.
"This Just In... My Chest": A blowhard news reporter gets an uprooted mailbox in the chest while reporting on a hurricane.
Incredibly Lame Pun: Generally the names of just about all of the deaths. Occasionally, some of the commentary leading up to the deaths.
I Was Beaten By A Girl: Happens to a gamer who played a video game tournament for 60 hours straight. When he stood up to throw a fit, the clots in his legs from sitting on his ass for almost three days rush to his lungs and kills him.
Surprisingly enough, the robber in "Chucked Up": a naughty-minded housewife ties herself up for her webcam watching husband. Masked thief breaks in, finds her already bound, and takes his time stealing everything, laughing and mocking her the whole while. Just before leaving, he leans in to thank her, and his horrible halitosis makes her choke to death on her own vomit. Guy walks off scot-free.
The landlord from Blend-Dead who knowingly sprayed rat poison all over his tenant's vegetable garden, and didn't warn the health nut woman who died that her garden was contaminated. "Depraved-Heart Murder," much?
The quack doctor from "Caulk Blocked". True, she probably shouldn't have hired an amateur to give her butt some added mass, but there was no mention of the doctor's fate, so he may have gotten away with malpractice.
The sushi school students who shoved an eel up their teacher's butt to get revenge on the humiliation they suffered in his class. Whether or not the teacher deserved the death might be debatable (he was a jerk, sure, but culinary school chefs — especially traditional Japanese ones — have to be strict on their students), but isn't it odd that the two students who killed him weren't punished for it?
Subverted with the story of the three huffers who accidentally set one of their friends on fire after getting solvent on him and handing him a lighter. Even though they ran off, the narrator says that the two who ran off were later arrested and tried for manslaughter.
The mob-connected grandfather from "Freeze Died", the Haitian brother from "De-Coffinated", and the Russian spies in "Radioactivate-dead" could fall into this. It's worth noting that these three are about the only deaths in the series involving premeditated homicides that didn't backfire.
Kill It With Water: Happens in "Bushwhacked 3: Waxed Offed" (a bitchy redhead at a Korean spa nearly gets her snatch burned by a flaming bikini wax strip, but ends up dead when the water from the sprinkler system douses her. The woman had a condition called aquagenic urticaria, which, in layman's terms, means "a deadly allergic reaction to water") and "Shop 'Till You Drown" (a personal shopper who steals and sells knock-off designer clothes gets thrown out by her customer's husband — who hates her because her outrageous prices are making the couple near-bankrupt — and the shopper falls through a pool cover and drowns trying to swim her way out).
She-Manned- A female body builder and fetish actress narrowly escapes drowning in her own bathtub, but dry-drowns while performing for her latest client due the water she inhaled not being expelled from her lungs.
Kung Fool: In Kung F**ked, an idiot tries and fails miserably to headbutt through a wood plank, then a cinderblock. Not getting the message that he's not the martial arts master he thought he was, he twirls some nunchucks, hitting himself in the head and breaking his skull thanks to the earlier damage from headbutting the cinderblock.
Laxative Prank: Happens in "S**t Canned," where one person tries to do this this to the bride in a wedding. As karma would have it, he takes the spiked drink instead. A Karmic Death as usual ensues.
Loan Shark: A pair attempt to extract 10,000 dollars from a worker in "Odds Are You're Dead." The worker is on a hydraulic lift, so one shark cuts the hydraulic line. The scissor lift collapses onto him, decapitating him.
Locked in a Freezer: One of the deaths from the first season. A butcher is left to freeze to death in a meat locker as payback for stealing cuts of meat and getting his boss's granddaughter pregnant.
Made of Plasticine: This is where the show's Critical Research Failures stem from. Many ways to die are plausible enough, but the gory effects commonly depicted simply would not happen in many cases. So, for instance, impaling the back of your head on a high-pressure water spigot would be fatal, but it wouldn't make Your Head A Splode; the water would simply start exiting out through the path of least resistance, most likely back out from the entry wound itself.
Mad Scientist: In "Snakenstein", a German scientist from the late 1930s experiments with reanimating body parts from recently deceased animals. When experimenting with total bodily reanimation on a rattlesnake, the snake bites him.
A group of huffers (drug addicts who get high off the toxic fumes in common household items, like paint, glue, and anything from aerosol cans) find a box containing jars of industrial solvents and one of them has the brilliant ideato soak his clothing with the chemicals. Feeling a chill as the chemicals draw away his body heat, he then asks one of the other brain-trusts if he has a light. Appropriately, the story receives the title Huffington Toast.
Then, there's "Poi Vey," about an Orthodox Jew who moved to Hawaii and was obsessed with a hula dancer, only to get shot down by her. The man gets drunk and stumbles into a torch ceremony — where he is burned alive.
And the one about a woman from the 1950s who gets her bouffant set on fire while smoking a cigarette with her boyfriend. It doesn't help that she slathered hairspray on it hours before the date.
In "Butt F***ed," a chain-smoker has just suffered third-degree burns from accidentally setting his house on fire. He is wrapped in bandages impregnated with flammable ointment. But he cannot resist one more smoke, and has the nurse sneak his wheelchair outside. He lights the cigarette, and some ashes land on the bandages. They set fire to the ointment, and all the bandages burn. The flames spread to the oxygen tank, which explodes, and the man lights up for the last time in his life.
The pyromaniac who accidentally set his pants on fire. He managed to put the fire out by jumping in a lake, but by then, the fire had already eaten through his muscle and cartilage and he collapsed in the water and drowned.
The coach who got set on fire in "Work of Fart" when his protege cuts one apparently didn't know stop, drop, and roll.
In "Poly-Ass-Turd", a conman sets up a new age healer seminar to demonstrate walking on fire. When it didn't go too well with his clients, he demonstrates walking on fire himself. He catches himself on fire causing deep lethal burns do to his polyester suit. The others couldn't put the fire out.
"Ass Phyxiated", where a chubby-chasing weight-loss salesman suffocates while having sex with a fat woman.
"Boobicide" features an odd case of self-inflicted death by Marshmallow Hell: a stripper with inhumanly large jugs drinks alcohol with downers and lays in an inverting bed to ease her back pain, only to wind up in a haze due to her booze-pill cocktail and suffocate on her meat pillows.
The story of the drunk insurance salesman who crashes a beauty contest for plus-sized women (euphemistically called an "inner beauty pageant") and gets crushed by the three finalists who fall off a section of the stage that wasn't meant to hold 997 pounds of anything, human or otherwise
Mile-High Club: A horny couple try to join, only for the festivities (and their lives) to be cut short by some bad turbulence.
More Dakka: A hold up man who was planning to rob a jewelry store entered a gun shop by mistake. The shop's customers and clerks — all legally armed and acting in self-defense — put several rounds of ammo into his center of mass, killing him. Can also be considered an instance of More Baka on the part of the dimwitted robber.
Mood Whiplash: At first, it seems things were going down a Downer Ending path with "Homie Invasion": Brad was dead after his wife failed to resuscitate him and the burglar got away with the stuff he stole. ... but then we immediately jump into the second half of this story: Brad came back to life (thanks to the Lazarus Syndrome) and scared the burglar, which caused him to fall off of Brad's second floor balcony, smash his head on the ground, and die. There's a reason this half is called "Homie's Dead".
Mugging the Monster: A rapist who attacked what turned out to be a male boxer in women's clothes, thinking "she" would be an easy mark Suck Her Punched. Also a purse snatcher gets his windpipe crushed when he targets a sweet little old lady who has thirty years' experience in Tae Kwon Do Wrin-Killed.
Mushroom Samba: Distorted senses lead to distorted judgment, such as diving into an empty pool, joining a furry orgy, running into cacti, running into a big-screen TV, sticking your head out of a sunroof just as a bird swoops down and lands in your mouth, setting your friend (or yourself) on fire, staying in an overheated hot tub, mainlining glowstick fluid, microwaving a lava lamp, and so forth. Expect this list to expand for as long as this show is on the air.
My Beloved Smother: In Smother in Law, one of these bitchlaps her son's wife and nags her about food. Then she tries to get some frozen pizza from the fridge... but she's so brusque while pulling the wedge pizza box that the fridge falls on her.
Deaths #201 (a drunk children's birthday party clown gets trapped in his car by an ever-expanding dinosaur balloon) and #118 (where an energy drink addict dies of caffeine intoxication while confronting her sexist boss for giving her promotion to a man who was more willing to go down on him than she was) are both given the title "Blown Job."
Two deaths in the show share very similar names: #502, Gas-Hole (a fugitive tries to drink gasoline as a substitute for booze, vomits into a camp fire, and burns himself to death) and #278, Gas Holed (A proctologist operates on the ass of a stripper who ate a chili dog, her flatulence igniting on his cauterizer and sending a fireball down his windpipe, incinerating his lungs).
Also: #347, "ReTired" (where an auto worker is distracted by a pornographic magazine, and is killed by an over-inflated tire, which explodes and lodges a piece of shrapnel in his brain) and #412, "Re-Tired" (a robber is run down by a classic Chevy "driven" by an old man who died behind the wheel during his daily ritual of sitting in the driver's seat and reminiscing about his life).
Also a case of Number's The Same, as not one, not two, but seven deaths share the number 412: "Em-Bear-Assed" (a man on psychotropic mushrooms tries to have sex with a real bear after getting shot down by furries during an outdoor orgy), "Re-Tired" (the robber who was hit by a classic Chevy being "driven" by an old man who died behind the wheel), "S**t Canned" (where a jealous man at a wedding who drank a drink spiked with laxatives is killed after rolling down a hill in a trash can, which he used as a toilet in desperation), "Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow" (the nudist artist whose trichophagia [compulsion to consume her own hair] caused a bezoar in her system and killed her via internal bleeding),"Lesboned" (where a seductive real estate agent shows a house to a wealthy lesbian and upon completion of the tour, they have sex on top of a dryer, but their movements sever the dryer's fuel line, filling the room with natural gas that is ignited by the water heater, causing an explosion that kills both woman instantly), "Goon Interrupted" (where a mobster faking insanity attempts to escape from a mental institution by escaping through a laundry chute, but because of the slipperiness of the chute combined with the laundry being thrown on him, he instead falls to his death.), and "Gang Banged" (where a mobster's son attempted to avenge his father's death by killing his murderer inside of a bath house, but instead shoots a steam pipe accidentally after slipping on the wet floor; the steam burns and melts half of his face, killing him instantly).
A second case of Number's The Same is with #284 in the same season: "Hang Dunked" (where an egotistical basketball bully celebrates a dunk by doing a pull-up through the rim, but as he comes down, his necklace gets caught in the net and he hangs himself) and "Mail Order Fried" (where a carnival mailman who reads the letters he delivers so he can insult the carnies gets electrocuted when a carny dunks him in a dunk tank which contains exposed wires for the tank's water heater).
Additionally, #444 has been used twice as well for "Deadliest Munch" (where a lesbian accidentally burns dinner and tries to calm her lover down by wearing candy lingerie, but when the lover eats the thong, it snaps and chokes the lover to death) and "Jaw Boned" (where a meth addict spends his days cooking meth in his garage while chewing the same wad of gum and dipping it in citric acid to keep it fresh, but one time accidentally dips it in red phosphorus, causing his lower jaw to explode off his skull when he chews the gum).
In an actual case of two people's names being the same, Barnaby is used twice. Once for the man dressed as a baby in Crib Your Enthusiasm, and the other time with the Mad Hatter in Hats All Folks!
Deaths numbers 606 and 331: Wet Dream. In the case of the former, a man constructs a fish costume out of material from his waterbead, but winds up dying of heat stroke due to the lack of ventilation in the costume. For the latter, a cross-dressing coke user in the 80's drowns after his high heels puncture a hole in the waterbed to which he's handcuffed after a night of making love to two women.
Bernie is the same name as the Kansas guy who gets blown up by his own firework launcher on the 4th of July, and the slacker who gets sliced in half by a rope in an interrupted joyride.
Somewhat subverted with "Bush-Whacked" (Where two potheads smoke poison sumac leaves to get the ultimate high), "Bush-Whacked 2: South of the Border" (Where two drug smugglers try to hide from their drug lord ex-boss in a patch highly toxic Euphorbia tirucalli shrubs and get flushed out), and "Bush-Whacked 3: Waxed Off" (Where an ill-mannered woman getting a bikini wax dies of an allergy to water from a sprinkler set off by a burning piece of waxing paper), since the title of each death is sequelized.
The pompous, bigoted, abusive movie star named Max, who dies when his jacuzzi sucks out his guts through his anus. This is actually based on the death of Abigail Taylor, but since the actual victim was a six-year-old girl (and not many people would be cool with that), they redid the story so it happens to a Jerk AssMel GibsonExpy (the narrator even says that the victim of the story wasn't a bastard of a Hollywood actor, but he was made the victim because in the beginning, the narrator states that there are people out there who deserve to be punished by karma, but haven't been).
Averted with the death of Harry Houdini, which gets the unusually high number of 14 due to his fame.
Same for Jack Daniel's death (from sepsis after kicking his safe in a drunken rage after finally finding the perfect recipe for his whiskey), although he is called by his birth name Jasper.
Remember the politician who keeled over after suffering a heart attack from bug bites containing viral fecal matter as result of his repeated trips to Brazil to hook up with his mistress? Yeah, this guy is an Expy for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, who shamed after he disappeared for days, only to turn up in Buenos Aires, where he was cheating on his wife. The difference between this story and Real Life is Sanford is still alive.
"Poker Face" is based on the death of William Kogut, who constructed a pipe bomb the same as in the show, only Kogut used the pipe bomb to kill himself, not in a plot to break out of prison.
The mad hatter who died of mercury poisoning in "Hats All Folks!" looks like Johnny Depp's character from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.
"Dead-dy Dearest" is inspired by the death of actor Jon-Erik Hexum, who accidentally killed himself by firing a blank into his head.
"Spyanide" is based on the death of Adolf Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, who killed herself with a cyanide tablet just before Hitler shot himself in the head.
A dogfighter name Vick is killed by a pitbull named Michael. Ron Perlman even says Michael and Vick with the 'and' being rather quickly spoken.
One episode featured a clear expy of Phil Spector, complete with gun, reputation for ripping off all the musicians who worked with him in the 1950s and 1960s, and wild, curly afro.
Then there's "Harley" in "Apocalypse Harley," an obvious Charlie Sheen expy (so obvious that it gets a little painful). The "Hollywood Hitman" in the same segment also counts, as he looks like Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz.
No OSHA Compliance: Some of the deaths featured on the show were on-the-job fatalities that could have been prevented if one or more of the persons involved had followed some basic, common sense safety rules. For example, if you work in a factory that makes use of a large curing oven, always make sure nobody is in said oven before you shut the doors and turn on the timer (doubly so if one of your co-workers is a narcoleptic and may have fallen asleep inside.)
Not a Zombie: That's not a zombie; that's just a golf-playing cemetery worker suffering from a bad allergic reaction to fungicide in Par For the Corpse.
"Road Killed": A hippie chick going to a hemp convention runs over a raccoon, and tries to use CPR on it. Tilting her head up to cough, she has her head ripped off by the bumper of an incoming vehicle
"Tongue-Tied": Two teens driving separate cars lean out the window to kiss, only to get decapitated by a forklift in the road
"Golden Die-Angle": A Laotian drug lord chasing after thieves ends up decapitated by the very barbed wire fence he used as a security measure
"Kung Pao Pow!!!": A greedy cremator steals from a corpse said to be of a man who died from a lightning strike. He wasn't hit by lightning, but by the undetonated warhead of a weather rocket, which the cremator didn't check on. When the body was put in the cremation chamber, the warhead heated up and blew the door off of the oven, taking the cremator's head with it.
"Odds Are You're Dead": A loan shark cuts the hydraulic line on a scissor lift, which collapses onto his neck and decapitates him
"Miss-Ur Head": A criminal in early 20th century France is executed by the guillotine, with a doctor in attendance to his execution to study the effects of a freshly lopped-off head to prove that consciousness is maintained briefly after beheading, thus making the guillotine an inhumane form of captial punishment.
Overprotective Dad: In "Dead-y Dearest", a war-vet father takes to scaring off his daughter's suitor with a gun loaded with blanks. When he tried to drive home the point that there were no real bullets by setting the gun to his head and pulling the trigger, the hot air from the blank blew through his brain.
In "Tenta-killed" there's a traditionalist Korean father who chokes to death in a live octopus while "testing" his daughter's Korean-American boyfriend's "worth".
P-T
Porn Stash: Leads to a porn addict's death when he can't navigate through his collection of porn and dies of dehydration in "Pornicated."
The Peeping Tom: Appears in "Window Pained", when one sticks his head in a woman's window while peeping on her, and has his neck broken when the window closes on it. Then again in "Blood Bath & Beyond", with a landlord who likes to drill holes in his walls and ceiling to watch the women in adjacent apartments, and is killed when water damage causes the ceiling to collapse and a bathtub to fall on him.
Raging Stiffie: One of the effects of the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider (a.k.a. the Banana spider). In "Eeecto-phobia", a dude who gets bitten by it tries to use said stiffie to cheat on his girlfriend... then dies while having sex with the third girl of the day.
Rhymes on a Dime: If Ron Perlman isn't closing a death with an incredibly lame pun or two, expect him to finish with a quick poem. He even quotes from the Gospel of Matthew after two fake preachers die in a grain silo explosion.
Russian Roulette: A group of Viet Cong veterans play and all of them live...until their celebration triggers an old landmine buried beneath the shack they were in.
"Lesbocution": A woman who decides to go lesbian after a string of bad relationships with men steps in a puddle... with bare feet (she had taken off her high heels while walking home)... that has an electric wire touching it.
"Oprah Winfried": A death row inmate who has been sentenced to life without parole tries to fix his TV while watching Oprah. He just so happens to be sitting on his metal toilet when he touches the exposed wire of the TV plug.
"Wel-Dead" An adrenaline junkie hooks himself up to a welding machine. BUZZZ! DEAD!
"Deadliest Catch": An easily-agitated electrician fishes while using a wire. Unfortunately, he touches the metal bottom of the boat and... well, you know what happens.
"Washed and Fried": 5 strippers pose as college cheerleaders doing charity car washes. While washing the van of a perverted widower, none of the women notice that the buffer they're using has a frayed wire that's dangerously close to a puddle. All five of them get shocked and drop dead.
"Chess Pain": A Soviet chess master playing against a supercomputer gets electrocuted when he touches a magnetic chess piece (which was on a chessboard that was not well-grounded) with his sweaty hand.
"Bitch Zapped": A Henpecked Husband mows the lawn for his harpy of a wife, who keeps accusing him of doing a horrible job. Fed up with the way he's doing it, she shows him the right way, unaware that she pushed the mower on top of the man's arc welder cord and ends up fried. The husband then sips her drink and says, "There is a God!"
"Dill D'Oh": A Jerk Ass nursing home manager goes off on one of the residents, a former science teacher, for making a pickle lamp. One should never grab a pickle lamp when it is lit.
"Who Ded?": Two female thieves posing as Hurricane Katrina relief workers in New Orleans get electrocuted by a severed power line under the water while attempting to rob a church.
"Heart Beat Down": A psychopath is subjected to electro-shock therapy. When he tries to make an escape later, he dies of a heart attack due to the shocks he was administered causing severe arrhythmia.
"Die-Brator": A Straw Feminist gets a taser that looks like a vibrator from her girlfriend. She puts it in and electrocutes herself to death.
Slashed Throat: "Cock-A-Doodle-Die" has a cockfighter with a rooster that was outfitted with razors on his talons to get an edge in fighting. His opponent finds out and the audience encircles him which freaks out the chicken he was holding. While flapping about, the rooster slashes his owner's throat in one swoop.
Small Name, Big Ego: The egotistical leader of a washed-up boy band from "Boys 2 Dead." Unsurprisingly, his ego eventually leads him to his demise.
Smoldering Shoes: When the terrorists from "Tali-Bombed" blow themselves up, a smoking combat boot is all that's left of one of them.
Sound Effect Bleep: In "Pipe Snake," when the groupie throws out her ex-boyfriend's guitar, she calls him an "asshole." The last part of the word was obscured by an electric guitar chord.
Soundtrack Dissonance: Some commercials promoting new episodes seem to use this technique. For example, one commercial has two teens being decapitated by a stack of boxes... while The Chords' "Sh-Boom" played in the background.
Spinoff: 1000 Ways To Lie (about history's greatest frauds and scams). Canceled after 1 episode.
"De-Throned," a Jerk Ass biker gets blown up after throwing his cigarette in the toilet (which was filled with spilled gasoline that his "maid" {a waitress forced to do housework for the jerk to pay off a gambling debt} poured in and never flushed) after taking a dump.
"Les-Boned," a bisexual real estate agent and a lesbian client get it on on top of the washing machine, which explodes due a methane gas leak ignited by a water heater.
"Tali-Bombed," the story of the two terrorists who set up a GPS-timed bomb and blew up when they forgot about Daylight Savings Time,
"Bibli-Killed," when two con artists take shelter inside a grain silo in order to hide from a shotgun-wielding farmer's wife who overhears them having sex with her granddaughter — and then blow up when one of them lights a flame that reacts with the grain dust,
"Butt F***ed," in which a smoker previously lit on fire from falling asleep with a cigarette in his mouth ends up in the hospital, is wrapped in flammable ointment and bandages, and ends when he sets himself on fire again and has his oxygen tank explode,
"Red, White, and Blew," where a redneck looks down into the barrel of a homemade firework launcher— right as a firework goes off into flies into his skull,
"Tanked Girl," when a woman inside a decompression chamber explodes when a maintenance worker accidentally opens the door to the chamber, altering the pressure inside,
"Micro Whacked," a drug addict who uses 4 drugs at once, puts his lava lamp into the microwave to heat it up and make it move faster, only for it to explode, sending shards of glass and wax into his face,
"Clay Achin" in which stoners try to bake a bong in a kiln and, after the fire goes out, try to light it with a match, blowing up the kiln and blasting shards of clay into their faces,
"Jaw-Boned": A methhead takes to dipping his chewing gum in citric acid to keep it fresh while cooking up meth, only to one day accidentally dip it in red phosphorous and subsequently blow his jaw off when his bite ignites the powder.
"Poker Face": A death row inmate tries to make a pipe-bomb using playing cards, which, in the '30s, were coated in nitrocellulose, a highly volatile substance when mixed with hot water. He heats the bomb, but when it doesn't explode, picks it up to examine it, in the process completing the nitrocellulose/hot water combination and making it explode in his face.
"Doggie Styled": a pair of drunk redneck hunters throw a stick of dynamite to flush out ducks, only for their golden retriever (who is telling the story through his eyes) to return it to them. You can almost hear the Looney Tunes theme playing.
"Withdrawn": A bank robber constructs an explosive collar to make a bank teller think he's being coereced into doing the real bad guys' dirty work. When said teller makes her exit and uses an electronic key to unlock her door, she accidentally sets off the bomb.
"Chicken Boned": A group of extremely board teenagers play games of chicken, one of which being who can stand having a lit stick of homemade explosives in their mouth the longest. One guy spits his out. The other, cheering for his own victory, accidentally swallows his explosive, which then blows out his trachea.
"As-Capped": A geriatric and quite senile old music producer threatens his band with a gun. While going off on a rant, he accidentally shoots his oxygen tank. It does not end well for him.
Super Window Jump: The lawyer who jumps through the window of his building's 40th floor to prove said windows are unbreakable. It didn't work.
Especially in the newest season — the crew love taking the piss out of anyone contemptible, such as perverts, thieves, fools, addicts, drug abusers, and bullies. Concurrent with the rise in gore. Ron Perlman narrates.
In the same episode, the segment "Die-Drant" featured a major asshole who wanted to cause people to crash by reflecting light off of a mirror into the driver's eyes. He gets his wish when one driver does run into a fire hydrant, only for said hydrant to brain him.
"That's Mister Death to You" has a dogfighter named Vick get killed by a dog named Michael.
"Tea Bagged" (the story of an inexperienced female politician who got stabbed with the bayonet of her prop musket after having a stroke during a rally) is based on either Michelle Bachmann or Sarah Palin.
"Apocalypse Harley" features Charlie Sheen as...well...Charlie Sheen, going into a drug-and-tiger-blood-fueled craze and inadvertedly falling on his own machete.
Tear Off Your Face: A dimwit falls face-first into a snow plow he's warming up. It is not pretty.
The insane pervert who tries to use "Bessie" the electrically stimulated cow heart as a sex toy.
The weightlifter who tries to bench-press an I-beam and drops it on his throat.
The Chinese heavy metal fan who slipped and fell out his bedroom window — with his roommate and fellow rocker following suit.
The Bruce Lee wannabe who wanted to make a viral video to get a real woman and not have to settle for the blow-up doll he had in his garage. Winds up breaking his skull by trying to crush boards and concrete with his head, then smacking himself in the face with nunchucks.
Example: Having a friend perform amateur liposuction on you is probably nowhere near a good idea.
So is lighting a cigarette after you spent hours spraying hairspray on your bouffant to keep it perfect. Even dumber when you consider the fact she had plenty of time to put out her hair inferno.
A bank robber builds a real neck bomb and straps it around his own neck.
Shooting at a hornet's nest with a paintball gun; pretty dumb. Not running when it falls out of the tree right in front of you? Darwin Award Winner!
The guy who peed on an electric wire as a dare. Even one of the other guys warns him not to beforehand.
Playing chicken with a stick of lit homemade explosives in your mouth. One guy lived through that, and it was not the one who wound up swallowing his firecracker.
Sticking a can of unused whipped cream up your ass and releasing the noxious gas inside you is not a good idea. A tomboyish girl found this out the hard way.
To the Pain: Once a segment gets to the actual dying part medical experts will pop in to explain how the death will happen and what the body experiences and what the person will feel while dying if at all all the while the segment is going in the background with CGI displays of the human body subjected to to the injury(ies) of the segment.
Trampled Underfoot: Happens to a biker during the mayhem he himself caused (by ripping off a female dancer's top) in "Lady And The Trampled" and a jealous cheerleader captain who "accidentally" let the new girl on the team fall (only for the bitchy cheerleader to get run down by the entire football team as they charge out onto the field) in "Pam-Caked!"
Typhoid Mary: Mary Mallon (the real name of the Trope Namer) appears in the story "Mary-Nated" in which she inadvertently kills a rich couple by infecting them with typhoid fever with the contaminated food she cooked.
Some times played straight, mostly averted: often, unless the victim was really a douche, the bystanders near have a panic attack.
Notably, there was one where the Jerkass leader of a washed-up boy band believes that there is a bigger crowd than normal and stage dives onto the floor. After a few seconds, the rest of the band continue their routine as the crowd inspects the man. A Crowning Moment of Funny.
Then there's the punk who threatened a woman with a screwdriver and tried to make off with her purse on a bike, only to fall over his bike and stab himself in the heart. The woman he stuck up comes along just to take her purse back.
There's also the teens firing paintball guns at people from a car. Among their targets was an old lady, who caught up with them and started smacking the driver with her purse after the CO2 canister on his gun flew off and broke the second guy's neck.
A clown who doesn't take kindly to the "Infernal Clown Posse" ruining the image of clowns goes to one of their concerts and tries to crash it, only to get electrocuted trying to unplug a large wire. ICP's response? "IN! YOUR! FACE!"
A band of old musicians watches their senile ex-producer explode after accidentally shooting his oxygen tank. Following, they just keep playing the song they were singing before the incident.
Unwilling Suspension: In "Card Jacked", a car thied tried to steal a rich man's car and got into his garage via descending from the ceiling. Then his leg got tangled in a rope and he ended up hanging upside down for several hours, which killed him in the end.
Mythbusters actually debunked the Gag Boobs death twice. This leads to many of the other less well-known deaths and situations to become suspect on whether they're possible or actually happened.
Before we move on, it's explicitly stated in that "death" that the implants were water balloons made by a quack, not the real deal. Mythbusters de-bunked the myth using real breast implants, but never bothered to test fake ones.
They also managed to bust the death involving whizzing on the electric fence, which really doesn't help the show's credibility.
Regarding the the story of "Mudder Sucked" (about the sorority girl who drowns in a sinkhole after beating a pledge in a mud wrestling contest), They also busted the Quicksand myth.
Very Loosely Based on a True Story: Most of the deaths that actually did happen tend to be recreated in very exaggerated and prurient ways, often because the victims of the actual deaths were children (i.e., the Mel Gibson-esque movie star who got his internal organs sucked out of his anus when he sat on a hot tub drain while forcing his girlfriend into giving him oral sex happened to a six-year-old girl named Abigail Taylor, but for ethical, moral, and legal reasons, they made it happen to a Jerk Ass adult who deserved to be punished). Just goes to show you that Even Evil Has Standards.
Vomit Indiscretion Shot: "Pukey" Suki is an emetophiliac (a sexual deviant who derives pleasure from either vomiting or being vomited on), so we see her induce a couple of men to vomit, and the vomiting is displayed on-camera with no attempt to hide it.
World of Ham: Considering the ridiculously exaggerates doses of Fanservice, stupidity and gruesome deaths, this is a given.
Woman Scorned: One of thse shows up in "Chemi-Killed", destroying the laboratory where she works after her co-worker regrets having had sex with her. While tossing stuff around, there's a chemical reaction coming from an experiment flask thrown in a sink full of water, and ends up killing her.
Some of the characters have been played by the same actor, such as the jealous ex-boyfriend who used a trash can as a toilet and died rolling downhill in "Sh** Canned" and the CEO in "Sumowed," the Peeping Tom landlord who got his skull crushed in while spying on a woman bathing in "Blood Bath & Beyond" and the Fat Bastard who died of excess MSG from a steady diet of Chinese buffet food in "All He Could Eat," and Fernando in "Anger Damagement" and the Fijian chief in "Reef Stew."
There's also a case of "You Sound Familiar": the song performed by that washed-up boy band in "Boyz 2 Dead" is also the song that the underwear-clad girl being spied on by the Peeping Tom landlord sang in "Blood, Bath, and Beyond." With both of these being aired in the same episode, no less.
"Rub-a-Dubbed-Out": A lowlife running from the cops after stealing a sack of groceries from a blind pregnant woman gets himself locked inside a car wash. The manager, not knowing someone was in there, turned on the machinery and the hapless crook became disoriented from being sprayed and buffeted by the array of hoses and spinning brushes. He finally stumbles backward and impales the back of his skull on a high pressure water nozzle...with messy results.
"Die-drant": An immature prankster blinds a driver with a mirror, causing the car to hit a fire hydrant. The hydrant flies off...and through the man's head, pasting what little brain he had over the wall of his house.
"Withdrawn": A bank robber (obviously based on Brian Wells) wears a C4 bomb collar around his neck to convince the tellers and cops that he was being forced to commit the heist. When one freaked-out teller deactivates her car alarm to get away from the madness, she unknowingly activates the collar's remote blast cap (which was on the same frequency as her alarm remote), causing it to explode and take the robber's head clean off. Well, not exactly clean, but you get the picture...
.See also the Darwin Awards
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