I heard the U.S.S.R. will be open soon
As vacationland for lawyers in love
As vacationland for lawyers in love
—Jackson Browne, "Lawyers in Love"A legal drama created by Steven Bochco and Terry Louise Fisher and airing on NBC from 1986-1994, about the antics at a fictional Los Angeles law firm, McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak.The main characters are:
- Leland McKenzie, patriarch of the firm.
- Douglas Brackman, managing partner
- Mike Kuzak, litigation specialist
- Arnold Becker, skirt-chasing divorce lawyer
- Stuart Markowicz, top tax attorney
- Ann Kelsey, lawyer and later marries Stuart
- Grace Van Owen, lawyer who eventually takes up with Kusak
- Roxanne Melman, Arnie's secretary
- Beleaguered Assistant: Roxanne Melman, to Arnie. Later replaced by Sassy Secretary Gwen Taylor.
- Bury Your Gays / Forgotten Fallen Friend: In the pilot episode, law partner Chaney dies of a heart attack. Later on in the same episode, it's revealed he was a closeted gay man when his lover shows up at the eulogy.
- Celebrity Paradox: One episode had Dan Castellaneta playing an epileptic theme park employee, whose job was to play Homer Simpson.
- Chick Magnet: Divorce lawyer Arnie Becker.
- Dating Catwoman: After fighting over McKenzie-Brackman and suing each other almost into oblivion, Leland and Rosalind end up...a couple???
- Elevator Failure: Rosalind Shays gets the shaft. Literally.
- Famous Last Words:
- "I really don't want to talk about it." —Rosalind Shays
- "You can't....no....this...." —Robert Boland, the defendant famously cross-examined to death by Jonathan Rollins
- Good People Have Good Sex: Some of the characters either cheat on their wives, or some of the partners are sleeping with each other (two are married to each other) or in some cases switching from one partner to another or to an employee.
- Hilarity Sues: Some of their cases are ridiculous.
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: The title of every episode is a bad pun or play on words.
- Instrumental Theme Tune: Mike Post strikes again.
- Jerkass: Douglas, in the first couple of seasons.
- Know Your Vines: Stuart and Ann's camping misadventure. Remember the TP next time.
- Once an Episode: In every single scene taking place in the office, a male voice can be heard in the background chatter saying, "The search was illegal, so...." There are a lot of illegal searches going on in L.A., apparently.
- Prenup Blowup: Stuart asks Ann to sign (in this instance, she refused, and they got married anyway.)
- Put on a Bus: Many, but especially Michael and Victor. Counting the reunion movie, The Bus Came Back for both. Zig-zagged with Grace van Owen: She was put on the bus at the end of season five with Michael and Victor. She returned at the beginning of season six and left again at the end of the season (In reality, the network negotiated with Susan Dey between seasons five and six and convinced her to return for one more season.) And then she returned for the reunion movie.
- Ripped from the Headlines
- Running Gag: Arnie Becker can't keep his pecker in his pants, and as a divorce lawyer he has lots of clients he can service, not only by getting them excellent settlements from their former husbands, but by bedding them as well.
- Sex God: The inventor of the "Venus butterfly".
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Daniel Morales for Victor Sifuentes.
- Sweeps Week Lesbian Kiss: Abby and C.J. One of the first on US prime-time television.
- Talking the Monster to Death: When confronted with a smarmy con man who bilked seniors out of their life savings and will declare bankruptcy if he loses, what does Jonathan do? He brutally cross-examines the man for hours, causing him to have a fatal heart attack, and when the EMT's are (unsuccessfully) trying to resuscitate the huckster, talks the judge into attaching his life insurance to any judgment. Also qualifies as a CMOA.
- Team Killer: Stuart is so upset on how another paintball player is cheating - he's continuing to play after he was shot and had to forfeit his chip - that Stuart begins shooting him multiple times. Brackman tells Stuart, who is one of his teammates, to knock it off, he's proven his point, but Stuart keeps shooting the guy, so finally Brackman shoots Stuart, then says, "Give me your chip."
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Stuart Markowitz and Ann Kelsey became a couple and eventually got married. Stuart was short and chubby, while she was much taller. This is not only a fictional example since the actors were married in real life.
- Toad Licking: The client in one episode was a retired man whose nursing home wouldn't let him have alcohol on the premises, so he acquired a hallucinogenic toad.
- Transplant: Eli Levinson and his secretary Denise Ianello from Civil Wars. Not surprising, however, since series creator William M. Finklestein later served as executive producer of L.A. Law during its final season.
- Truth in Television: Larry Drake's portrayal of the mentally retarded but dignified office assistant Benny Stulwitz won the actor several major awards, both in television and from advocacy groups.
- Wham Episode: About half of the episodes in season five qualify. Actor's contracts were up at the end of the season, and so many of them (Harry Hamlin, Michele Greene, Jimmy Smits, et al.) decided to leave the series. They were written out by having several of the characters leave to start their own firm. Lawsuits and major drama ensued. Note that this was also the season where Rosalind Shays returned, hit the firm with a lawsuit, was discovered to be having an affair with Leland, and was memorably written out.