Hello! So, uh...yes. This is...a page. My page. All mine. Nothing to do with...her...
So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead an read it? I mean, it's no Machiavelli- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a great deal more readable than her page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley — consistency is my middle name! You get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.
Also, on an unrelated note, anyone kind enough to conduct some kind of space rescue mission for me or if someone happens to pass by near the moon, here are my coordinates.
Huh? Why are those words invisible? Hold on, just wait a bit I can fix it... wait a bit... I can... ... Err... while we're waiting, why don't you feel free to highlight that line? Trust me, there's no spoiler in that spoiler tag. Especially big endgame spoilers about myself. Hey, there it is again! Wonder why that is?
What's a trope? Is this a trope? ...These are tropes, aren't they. Ooh. My bad, my bad. Blame me. Blame the innocent little core. Just like humans.
Adorkable: I'm handsome! I'm dashing, really. Not a dork. Not a moron. Handsome. Not awkward, not dorky. Just...just dashing.
Bishounen: You wouldn't think it to look at me, would you? But I can be, um, quite charming when I want to be. *seductive upper railing waggle* I'm especially dashing in the fanart.
Booby Trap: I know how to get around them and how to make them.
Boss Battle: Oooh, that sounds very impressive, doesn't it?
Final Boss: Oooh, even better! More definitive and climactic sounding!
Blatant Lies: They told me if I ever detached from the rail or turned on my flashlight I would die! Can you believe that? Honestly, I don't know why they gave me these things if they didn't want me to use them.
Brief Accent Imitation: Funny story... I THOUGHT that speaking in a different accent would mean she wouldn't be able to hear me. Yeah, that didn't work out too well...
British Accent: Yeah, I've got one. Makes me sound pretty distinguished, doesn't it? More specifically, it's a Bristolian accent, so, you know. Distinguished. Can you believe they were going to give me a Northern accent? Glad that worked out otherwise.
Buffy Speak: You versus me, Holmes versus Moriarty, Aristotle versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!
Continue Your Mission, Dammit!: I spy something that starts with the letter F. It's the floor, which is where you left me. Please pick me up. I spy something else that starts with the letter A. Also the floor. Pick me up.
Remember when you picked me up five seconds ago? That was amazing, do it again.
Heel Face Door Slam: You might not have heard (and that's understandable; I was only unplugged a few seconds before getting thrown into space), but I actually was sorry about the things I did.
Height Angst: A whole sector full of nanobots, and who's the one fellow they pick on? That's right, the oversized ID core. I'll have you know I am quite a normal size compared to the other Cores! I'll see you in court.
Idiot Ball: That's... that's brilliant, that is. Low. Thanks for the hate crime, mate.
Innocent Blue Eyes: Well, innocent blue eye anyway. Much more trustworthy than herYellow Eye of Sneakiness, if you ask me. Honestly, who would trust a person with a yellow eye? You'd have to be pretty desperate, dropped down into a deep mine shaft or something...you know...just as a hypothetical example.
Logic Bomb: What, that stupid "This question is false" thing? Easy. The answer is "true".
Motor Mouth: Well... technically, a motor mouth would have to be a mouth that is powered by a motor, and seeing that... wait... Oh, right, I'm all motors, aren't I? BUT... But I don't have a mouth. No mouth. Just an eye. A big blue eye... with eyelids... that move whenever I talk... like a mouth. You know what? I'm just gonna go on record saying that I'm NOT a motor mouth.. because... ugh.. yeah, I got nothing.